121101
hey, I don't mind a little jazz, but-- OMGWTFKBBQ some covers can turn a regular 4-minute song into a 15-minute song! Zzzzzz
yes, my own korean restaurant would be called OMGWTFKBBQ. hope everyone will have an easier time spelling that over... INCHEONWON!
...
DON: what about INCHEONWanh?!
121102
DREAM: meeting buzzing monkey feet PARK JUNGAH doppel.
I should just settle; get pregnant; and marry rich! yes, in that order.
"i want a lawyer, and a sandwich. oh, and I wanna update my facebook status."
...
BLITZ
121103
cousin: how old is your nephew?
ANH: I don't know, he's asian.
cousin: who is anh with now? is she korean?
...
BAHAHAA
some peeps like their privacy. I don't care much for mine. let's get NAKED! haa
ANH: my status has been hacked.
ANH: I cannot tell.
haa i'm sorry, but you cannot seriously keep someone around by threatening suicide! if you wanna check yourself out, that's your problem.
121104
what's with the automatic "friend" location updates? I don't need to know where you are unless I have to make a hit.
ANH: omo, did we just miss the lakers?
DON: really? who cares?! don't people know basketball isn't real... like professional wrestling?
121105
must. shoot. more. of that... UGLY! my DSLR is itching!
GURETEL now has... STYLE. haa I blame RANIA and YG entertainment!
we don't need a president.
ACADEMY ROYALE antagonist #2 (copyrighted)
...
I burned major digital lead out of my tablet, it finally exploded! now, I'm in desperate need of a reliable replacement. ugh...
"the way you joke, not even your girlfriend would understand you."
...
well, if they don't get you, aren't you with the wrong one?
ANH: aww, sorry I can't make it to dinner for you. I have to take my nephew to taekwondo!
POONEH: Awe! It's ok I understand. Family is important!!
ANH: no, not really... KPOP is!
121107
SISTER: so glad our president is re-elected, but there are no americans in my office to high-five!
...
BAHAHAA she sometimes says the darndest things! not just RYAN!
look again in the mirror before insulting someone's looks... only uglies can do that.
DANIEL: INCHEONWanh!
ANH: ANHARCHY!
...
I am Anhjun Lozfen, and I support this ad.
dude: how do you keep your car so clean?!
ANH: I... wash it?
(thumping music in the car)
NEPHEW: is that G-DRAGON?
...
haa monkey boy knows what's up!
nephew: ooh... look at my boobies! i'm sooo SEXY! wanna squeeze 'em?
...
BAHAHAA that's him impersonating my ex! I did not teach him that! doesn't he know it's all about LEGGGS?!
again, my IQ is dropping just by listening to THE KARDASHIANS being played. do they make any worthy contribution to society?
121108
salvaging as many event photos from my corrupted drive as possible... ugh, I can never trust machines.
know what I hate...? songs with police sirens while I'm driving!
121109
I enjoy the sound of silence. the less beats, the better. music is just noise.
MOM: omo, it's so pungent! who just farted?! was it the dog?
ANH: soweee...
the world ends december 21st
...
let's have fun meaningless sex with random acquaintances! oh, wait...
kpop uglies should have nipples built onto their calves. SAMSUNG is working on those anhdroids.
...
T-ARA: ooh, SEXY LOVE!
"under thai laws, drug traffickers caught with more than 20g of substance can face the death penalty."
...
LOCKED UP ABROAD
MOM: we may have to move again.
ANH: I don't care where we move to. just make sure we're closer to... INCHEONWON!
121110
I think the ICE HOTEL in sweden offers shaved ice.
funny how they sell fried insects in 3rd world countries when I can fry my own at home.
haa RITA is so WEIRD! YAY for eccentric eurasians!
121111
if a film doesn't get my attention within 30 minutes, I skip to the next. don't have time to waste on borefests.
hmm, i'mma squeeze some lime into my dog's eyes and see what happens.
not surprised that BEEF PHO is Anthony Bourdain's favorite dish.
...
MOM: i'mma make chicken pho next time!
ANH: no, thanks. I'd rather have fried chicken.
nephew: how do you spell CERTIFICATE?
ANH: C-E-R-T--
nephew: G?
ANH: no... T...
nephew: G?!
ANH: nooo! T as in TIT!
121113
keira knightly... not bad looking... but someone PLEASE give that girl a sandwich!
jebus, don't know which is harder to understand... british or scottish accents?
can you BRITISH frakkin' speak AMERICAN?!
again, stop adding me by accident via your "smart" phones, people! I don't need anymore socially-inept "friends"!
sonuva... get off the road! will your car explode if you go over 30 mph?!
JASMINE of "Tattoo Nightmares" is one ROCKSTAR artist! her artworks are INSANE!
121114
a total of 37988 kpop songs are released per year
...
MNET countdown
"you're pretty when you don't talk."
...
Flower Boy Ramyun Shop kseries
121115
"updated relationship pages"... seriously? isn't seeing couple's photos annoying enough? haa
"i'm turning 30, and i'm freaking out!" kim kardashian
...
quality american television.
leave it to facebook to breakup new relationships with photos of you making out with your exes.
AMY: I was vegetarian for 5 years, but it was so difficult to find any place to eat on my travels.
ANH: I eat vegetarians.
121116
MOM: where do you plan to move to? TEXAS?
ANH: uh, no.
MOM: North Korea?!
most peeps are interesting... till the alcohol wears off.
if everyone couldn't care less about what others think, we'd all have more fun! but nooo, most just have to put up a proper facade for society! bleh...
yes, you know 'em! friends who sound like assholes when they talk, but are really pleasant people.
I don't know any cambodian girl over 5'2". what gives? WHY?!
121118
CASSIDY: I fell on my face at disneyland!
ANH: good thing you're asian or that would've cost you a nose job.
CASSIDY: we had lobsters yesterday.
ANH: but it's off season. was it a roach?
PHU: it's better to dump girls than have them dump you.
ANH: don't you have to be dating them first?
DEAN: yeah, I know you. aren't you that KPOP guy?!
121119
those people you've deleted, and wonder why you've added them back. i'll never make that mistake again!
i'm in the mood for a feel-good BOLLYWOOD film! why won't they frakkin' show any in theaters?
"i only need a handful of close friends."
...
true, but I get bored seeing the same 5 faces. haa it's like a low budget film where they can't afford more actors! I need my quality friends in quantities!
we don't really enjoy turkey. most likely beef shrimp squid springrolls with plenty of butter on a GRILL, peaches!
I don't follow you. your post just appeared in the stalker column.
KY: don is not that much taller than me!
ANH: only cuz he was sitting... and slouching.
KY: is don coming on friday?
ANH: when he heard you are coming, he hung up on me.
121120
event photos usually always look more fun than it actually was. most of the time, we just sit there facebooking on our phones.
(watching anime)
nephew: why is she white?
ANH: why are you yellow?
chime is let out of her cage when they have guests. her boyfriend covers her bruises with peanut butter... cuz she's brown. wait, that's not brown... with hoisin sauce!
chime changed her name to MIA
JEFF: ROR!
ANH: you mean ROARRR! ROR is korean for LOL.
ROJI: ROR we are the supleme lace!
I had to leave the theater 15 minutes into 21 JUMP STREET, not cuz it was bad, only cuz my galpal wanted some sexy time. BAHAHA
121121
when you're done with HITMAN, try SPLINTER CELL... a superior stealth game.
nephew: my mom's SUV is the best!
ANH: it's like saying APPLE is the best brand. yo mama's BMW drives like a bus!
while still considered toys, tablets are well on their way to becoming fully functional PCs. I've used one since '04, and cannot go back to regular laptops.
121122
I am thankful for not having turkey... another chicken.
I am not one to cancel an event just cuz only one person is coming. haa
if you only know songs in english, don't call yourself a music lover.
there are good sounds in every genre... not so much with death metal. haa WTF?
you thought SNSD fans were KRAZY, death metal fans are DEMENTED!
white americans actually shouted "SAYONARA!" to GIRLS' GENERATION at their NY concert?
...
KPOP FAN: they're not japanese! They're KOREAN!
...
BAHAHAA
GUEST: why do you pull the fat off the briskets?
ANH: how do you think i'm able to eat at incheonwon EVERYDAY?
DON: I bought a large pizza. wanna have some?
ANH: haa nooo! pizza is for those who can't have REAL food!
DON: is that... SANTA CLAUS?
ANH: wait, I thought it was a cutting board.
I can't snort coke cuz I'd probably sneeze it off the table. damn allergies!
121123
spankin' new ASSASSIN'S CREED III for $30? YES, PLEASE!
SAMSUNG NOTE 10.1... i'm aiming at you.
121124
nephew: how old is uncle don?
ANH: older than claire (his daughter).
nephew: so why is he playing kids' video games? shouldn't he be good with adult games?
nephew: I like SOUTH KOREA. if the NORTH had GIRLS' GENERATION, I would support them!
the day after incheonwon, I usually prefer to be vegetarian.
when i ask them about BIGBANG and they reply with "big bang theory?", i just wanna smack them over the head. it was funny the first 100 times.
...
and no, they can't make fun of kpop cuz their taste is much funnier.
ANH: don enjoys wearing his thong... backwards.
DON: you mean, backside down.
DOOMSDAY PREPPERS... paranoia and living with fear. haa puh-leez, you can never be 100% safe from anything. like you can barricade yourself in your house forever! aren't they learning anything from WALKING DEAD?
121126
mom waved at a total stranger thinking she knew them. haa all filipinos look alike!
"we're born alone, and we die alone. all we have in between is suffering."
...
THERE BE DRAGONS
SESAME'S CREED III must be the tame game version.
121127
MOM: that black woman was dancing in her car!
ANH: wow, she loves music more than me. those people can never fall asleep while driving!
blasting explicit french rap with kids in the car.
grew up with algerians, arabs, and the likes. cool bunch! now I have to deal with latinos... no difference! haa
PAPERMATE ballpoint pens
...
my traditional sketching/drawing weapon of choice. I despise pencils.
United States of Bacon (food show)
...
haa the host is a few bites away from a heart attack!
bun bo xao is the equivalent of spaghetti, but so much better!
INK MASTER is a great competition show!
no more portable game consoles for me! I hardly ever play games on the go! such impulse buys. ugh...
how many photos do I usually have per album? 200 sounds about right. haa
121128
PUSS IN BOOTS
...
I hardly care for cats cuz they think we're supposed to serve them, but that dude is hilarious!
HYUN AH = HYUNA
JI AH = JIA
...
you drop the H when combined
...
ANH JUN = ANJUN?
JEFF POH = JEFFPO?
you try and have 1 billion people watch your music video over and over again. some songs are undeniably catchy!
SAMANTHA: eww why did you draw her?!
ANH: what? women are not supposed to have nipples?
nephew: he's a grown-up. he can draw naked women!
...
haa you're damn right, monkey boy alien head!
ooh, PEANUTS!
121129
to those who just added me, sorry you didn't get the memo... your phone will EXPLODE!
FRIEND: your status updates kept me up all night!
ANH: yo MAMA kept me up all night!
alright, this is your WAKEUP CALL! goodnight, PEACHES!
121130
OMGWTFeggrolls?! this is not KOREAN!
Mnet Asian Music Awards (MAMA) if on RIGHT NOW! haa some artists dressed as BATMAN characters!
...
BANE: I'm so excited, I can't breathe.
I have to constantly draw, or I will strangle someone... like a black guy itching to dance!
korean americans/canadians make for terribly awkward show presenters though.
...
SEO INYOUNG performing "airplane" with B.o.B!
PSY performing before 80,000 fans. KPOP has globally become bigger than soccer!
"dress classy, dance cheesy." PSY
...
PSY may as well be the true "dictator" for capitalism.
JEFF: sharing is caring!
ANH: sharing is also brainwashing.
hey ghetto "gangster" blogger, apart from all the "fcuk" "sh*t" and "sh*t fcuking", can you use actual ENGLISH? I don't understand broken CAVE TALK.
I swear, the way someone words things shows you their level of education.
ICE CUBE: gangsters don't rap. they can't even dance!
I guess it's done on purpose; the humans in SHREK are dumb and UGLY! haa
DONKEY: you know what'd help morale around here? flip-flop fridays.
...
BAHAHAA the comedic lines and timing in SHREK are flawless!
is the NINTENDO DS turning into a TABLET? jebus, how big are they pushing the screen to become? you can practically play virtual air-hockey on it.
121131
I thought EMO was a SESAME STREET character. haa WHY so... SERIOUS?!
SURVIVOR is still on? I was done after the first season.
"the SAHARA desert was a barrier against the plague. few living things can survive at 125°."
...
MANKIND the story of all of us
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
SKITS - MAR
120301
wouldn't it be funny if all of your PRIVATE photo albums are suddenly open to the public? haa the paranoids would have seizures!
rashell: anh is funny, drunk or sober! lol
to the ones suffering from multiple personalities,
why do you keep changing your profile name to different sh*ts nobody gets?
galpal: i actually like my body.
anh: dunno. haven't seen you naked.
Don: well well well... be the judge of... THIS!
anh: aaah come on! put your pants back on! whatta fcuk?!
NEWSFLASH: you cannot control a legsman with your fun bags, woman!
waittaminit... you're telling me that i can actually upload videos to youtube straight from my phone?!
way to go CONAN for featuring another underground band i don't care for. how about inviting GIRLS' GENERATION like DAVID LETTERMAN did?
joyce: Anh, I love the convos you have with yourself lol
...
haa my close friend to the 4th degree; and i love her!
ghost stalker | acquaintance | friend | good friend | close friend | best friend | blocked
...
where do YOU belong?
stephen: you reek of kimchi and soju.
anh: you reek of kimchi and absinthe.
alright, i'm not adding anymore dudes! having 2 guyfriends is enough.
...
stephen: Me, David, Do.... wait a minute.. that's over 2.
marie: i disagree. and i'm still raping the REPLAY button on that stupid song.
dude: why won't you add anymore dudes?
anh: i'm not gonna have sex with you, am i?
i'm confusing everybody quoting everybody.
My dog knows the alphabet better than Don Vu does.
120302
Fannie Hsieh: school is so COOL! I breathe cinder block sized physics books and feel no need for a healthy social life! Zzzzzz
emily cheng: FCUK NOOO! LET'S GOOO!
truly amazing how you can meet awesome people so randomly here. Jom Naknakorn is DAVID AWESOM!
"Sorry, we couldn't save your tag because this photo has already been tagged with Users the maximum number of times allowed."
...
BAHAHAA as i was tagging for BEST BEAR HUG EVER!
Don Vu has a face that begs to be rearranged; he would actually look better after a boxing match.
Anhjun Lozfen likes Anhjun Lozfen's status.
Anhjun Lozfen likes Jenn Lee liking Anhjun Lozfen's status.
hmm, it's friday night, why isn't jenn wandering the streets of long beach drunk-commenting?
they only allow you to tag a maximum of 49 friends; cuz i am facebook, i reached 49.5
jenn: why are you still up?
anh: it's not anh, it's DROID. why are you still sober?
jenn: hi DROID :)
anh: i meant, this is DROID... Y RU 571LL 50B3R?
(on jenn lee's wall)
H3770, 8008. DROID 15 HUN6RY. MU57 637 C3R34L5 N0W...
...
jenn: Hmm...637...can't decipher that one...
DROID: it means "GET", woman!
jenn: we can make your drawing go viral!
anh: i think it already did.
jenn: don't drop the soap in a prison shower.
don: don't mind if i do! hehe
120303
rosa: so how late will we be for that BANG BUS event?
crystal: i don't know. i'm trying to beat your record.
jamie: it's sooo salty!
vince: that's what she said!
rosa: wait, whaaat? i don't get it.
she: don't you get anything i say, woman?
anh: thank-you so much for driving!
bang bus driver: fcuk you.
anh: did he just say what i thought i heard?
jenn: i heard that too!
Meeksy Meeks, thanks for hitting CRAB SHACK for jamie, but you'll still like INCHEONWON BETTER!
...
naomi: don't you sleep?
Michelle Wu: oh yeah, like a normal person, i enjoy my 12 hours. ah... sleep...
Jincent Starks: *fart*
for those of you who still don't know what INCHEONWON is, i'm sooo sorry... BAHAHAA
...
Rosa Ly Oul: i'm sorry i got banned. FML
ryan grotsky: OPPS LOOL i prefer skipping dinner and studying my ass off over meeting anh's uglies!
Emily Cheng: aww that's not nice, ryan!
Fannie Hsieh: Zzzzzzzz
Michelle Wu: ah... sleep...
rosa: anh rather facebook early in the morning than play archery.
anh: i rather get a rude awakening with a blowjob early in the morning than play archery.
she: that's what he said!
Joyce: i totally got that one! hehe
alright, that was a nice break from my power nap. i'mma go back to sleep now!
...
Michelle Wu: i recommend sleeping. ah... I only got 11 hours. I'll try again next week. I love sleep =)
anh: BAHAHAA that's more than enough already, michie! you're like frakkin' comatose!
120304
jenn: My mom said "who was the nice Korean boy with glasses?" I said u are not Korean. She was like, he said hello in Korean, close enough.
anh: oh wow! that further confirms that i AM korean! yayYEAH!
i certainly fooled everyone last night; they all thought i was drunk when i didn't drink at all... especially the drunk ones.
with an average of 12 hours of sleep per night, Michelle Wu is literally sleeping for two... and is virtually comatose. i'mma get you a four-pack of LEE'S COFFEE, woman!
120305
for those of you who were left out, lemme post another version of the same drawing so i'm allowed to tag 49 more peeps. BAHAHAA
too many uglies, not enough cameras!
i swear, i know too many ugly monkeys. you know who you are!
cindy manojit: maahwhwhw! everything is so "LOUD" on your fb! i'm soo shy
Anhjun Lozfen, Heather Uyan, and Jenn Lee will start their own CANADA DRY FAN CLUB... cuz no other flavor beats GINGER ALE, PEACHES!
is everything THAT loud on my wall? do we really scare that many people?
ryan: korean bbq sounds fun!
anh: it's not a game, it's a FEAST!
ryan: for KINGS!
anh: VIKINGS!
jeeh, that was brilliant. i accidentally deleted that post with all the tags.
120307
thanks to David AweSom, i'm now short of one WACOM tablet. how am i gonna draw without a stylus?! with a frakkin' mouse? GHETTO!
did i say i was gonna move to texas? i'mma move to SOUTH KOREA!
120308
MADELINE GARCIA's dream:
...
I dreamt about you last night! You were on a date with this one Asian woman who was all trying to get in your pants. You flirted with her and you guys started making out. My friend and I were in the same room and could hear you guys making out. So to make you two shut up, I purposefully fell on the side of my body and pretended my arm was severely hurt. Surely enough, my plan worked out! I knew you, being my friend, would come over and see if I was okay. You came over and asked if my arm was okay, I pretended it hurt really bad and you looked concerned.
After a while, I left, and I don't think you ever got laid by that horny Asian woman. She was tall and wore a red dress that had a slit through it which revealed her leg. No one gets any in my dreams. Sorry. I'm sure you still get some in real life though.
...
BAHAHAA such detailed recollection!
stephen: you should give them at least 2-weeks notice.
anh: no, i cannot bite my tongue for another 2 weeks; and have them train my replacement?
stephen: or you can train your replacement all wrong!
anh: BAHAHAA GENIUS, mr bartender!
coworker from my last company: you know what anh? when you left us, we were MISERABLE!
...
that company's supervisor was shortly fired for making personal long distance calls. BAHAHAA karma's a bitch!
YEAR OF THE DRAGON... time to take risks, peaches!
120309
galpal: haters gonna hate.
anh: haters hate uglies with good personalities.
galpal: haters can have good personalities too!
anh: no, haters are not people. haa
INCHEONWON is now INCHEONWanh!
i might as well co-own the best korean bbq in the country!
(about my BEST BEAR HUG EVER! piece)
don: I haven't seen your artwork look this good in a while. It actually looks improved!
anh: that's what happens when i don't draw much... my skills improve!
if you even manage to piss Anhjun Lozfen off, you're an asshole.
if you even manage to piss David Cook off, you're hopeless.
the fact that INCHEONWON serves you filtered water tells you a lot about how much they value their customers!
galpal: i'll confront you! i'm not scared of you!
anh: BAHAHAA don't make me poke you.
i would've taken a bullet for him; now, i'll just let him receive it.
...
Stephen: tell me when, bro! i still have him in my sight!
Ryan: LOOL WHITE OPPS: limited edition!
jom: thank you! i am happy with what you've given me!
anh: happiness is what i give to people.
anh: our korean people are GENIUSES! filtered water... at a restaurant?! unheard of!
jenn: Mmhmm...and we rock BC we r both Korean :D
anh: haa that goes without sayin'! REPRESENT, PEACHES!
120313
coworker: you left? aww i'm gonna miss you! we're still gonna be friends, right?
anh: duh! i don't add coworkers i don't care for.
i really like how active Justine Pham is whenever she logs in! haa that's how social everyone should be!
120314
jenn: i don't drink tap water either. eww
anh: that's why some restaurants add lime.
jenn: yup, but you can still tell.
anh: yeah, it's like adding a hair bow to Don Vu. i can still tell it's an unkept woman.
without risk, there is no success. most peeps just need a kick in the ass!
120320
anh: what? SM Entertainment released another version of GIRLS' GENERATION's "the boys" music video?!
Don Vu: psh! and you call yourself asian?! they have 4 versions of that video... and i have all 5!
120324
HUNGER GAMES left me dissatisfied, so i went to eat at INCHEONWON!
yeah, i can drive a stick-shift pretty easily, but i don't miss it... i need my other hand for facebooking. BAHAHAA
120325
Anhjun Lozfen is listening to Anything That's Not on the Radio on Spotify.
120326
don: can you take be back from the autoshop?
anh: look, i'll even drive you to work, but you should find a ride back; whether it be by subway... or quiznos.
120328
madeline: To be honest, it's interesting to see how you draw. I just watch you as you draw. You make me feel like a crap artist though. Thanks.
120330
those friends who are too lazy to find your wall to post/ask something so they irrelevantly comment on any of your posts. you know who you are, Justine Pham and Rosa Ly Oul! booooo!
120331
RED POT > HOT POT
...
Nanashi Sama: fcuk YEAH!
David Cook: nom nom nom...
120301
intern, slave... what's the difference?!
I think I've mastered status posting... and commenting.
i'm still surprised to how much peeps want to see me. didn't know I was this wanted.
I imagine emily cheng as either an archer elf or a sparkly little fairy. she's a gem.
what would take someone a whole day on photoshop would take me just 30 minutes. I find that hilarious!
... and on top of that, i'm juggling facebook! whaaat?
i'm starting to believe all filipinos are nurses; and heather is an ugly one.
"i'll stand by you" is one of the most annoying songs EVER!
...
marie: hey, that's my favorite!
anh: that's why you're both lame.
marie: i'm still raping the REPLAY button! haa
sonuva... I might have to grab a MONSTER! like latinas, i'm craving the taste.
MONSTER... the devil's drink. a week's worth of candy high in a can.
lemme show you what i'm having since you're starving.
and no, I will not LIKE your page. I don't even like you! haa
"facebook is down for maintenance."
...
anh: NOOO! i'll just transfer to facebook 2.0 then!
joyce: Nooooo! what will we read and comment on without you?
anh: haa yeah, everyone else is pretty much inactive!
eddy: if I didn't get my SAMSUNG galaxy S2 tablet, I would've waited for the galaxy note.
anh: aww that always happens! I get with a girl, and a hotter one shows up!
no... I don't wanna do my laundry today! i'mma just wear my shirt inside out. who's gonna notice?
120302
why are all of these lights turning green?! I. cannot. POST!
stephen: lemme know what you'll bring to my housewarming party.
anh: i'mma bring a party of at least 30 peeps to your tiny condo.
JEBUS! GINORMOUS pockeys! might as well make them baguette size!
...
stephen: that's what she said?
she: might as well make your penis baguette size, stephen!
HELPFUL TIP: LIE to the worst of the non-punctuals and tell them to arrive 2 hours earlier to any event.
...
michelle wu: this ain't BLACK HAWK DOWN; we WILL leave you behind!
...
BAHAHA I hate you, ugly!
don't invest in a smartphone if you're too dumb to use it to its full capabilities.
working... who, in their right mind, would work on fridays, anyway?! only LOSERS work on fridays!
she: hurry! I wanna see it!
120303
getting some banging on the party bus.
120304
I took my galpal to see the last HARRY POTTER film cuz her lame ass boy didn't want to. she was really grateful.
"a guy that good looking, still single? he's a player." | FRIGHT NIGHT
...
BAHAHA
120305
next time someone shoots for you, check it. most don't even know what half-pressing to focus or even what framing is!
jenn's camera model: CMOS Sensor 2000
MANGA BROWSER app for any smartphone user! cuz reading stories without visuals is frakkin' boring.
peeps who drop their phone in the toilet cuz they couldn't wait to finish. now, they have to wait for another phone... I don't get it.
all phones should be waterproof so that you can answer it immediately after dropping it in the yellow water.
drop a chocolate candy bar in a public pool and watch people clear the area.
ariel: how's your weekend, anh?
anh: don't I show up in your newsfeed?
anh: do you have a coworker who sneezes every 2 minutes to the point where you just stop saying, "bless you."?
don: no, but I do have a coworker who sneezes every fcuking minute and coughs every fcuking 30 seconds!
anh: yeah, they only allowed me to tag the maximum of 49 friends for that drawing.
don: well, why don't you post that same drawing again and tag 49 more?
anh: sonuva... GENIUS! that's why they pay you the big bucks, huh? $4.50/hr?!
don: wait, I got a raise?
thought she just went MIA. then she bothered to give me her new number? aww sweet!
120306
I overshot. that last quarter of the LEE'S COFFEE concentrate gave me 2 full servings that, I guess, I now have to drink? haa is that bad?
good thing I don't work for the post office.
anh: I'm having a fucking bad day.
ariel: oh, hang in there! it's tuesday. only 3 more days!
...
BAHAHA FCUK!
galpal: anh, are you single?
...
haa am I that mysterious?
they don't get along, but I like them both. damn ugly monkeys.
120307
"why are you still there?"
...
haa heard this from a few who's already quit that sinking ship!
jocelyn: I always wondered why guys like women dressed as little girls.
anh: well, you're a little girl dressed as a woman. haa
HORRIBLE BOSSES
...
haa such an appropriate comedy i'm watching!
I would definitely not mind working under JENNIFER ANISTON!
"nobody pays you to be a husband, unless you're married to OPRAH." | HORRIBLE BOSSES
kurt: I wouldn't mind bending her over a barrel and showing her all 50 states, huh?"
...
HORRIBLE BOSSES
(CHA for TEA)
anh: you asked for boba with your mango green tea?
jocelyn: yeah, I like the feeling of black balls in my mouth.
NOTE TO SELF: grocery shopping while hungry... DON'T DO IT!
120308
wow, just found out another galpal had a dream about me last night. such strange coincidence!
a THIRD galpal dreamt about me last night?! this definitely has to be more than simple coincidence!
whether or not they fire me, i'mma jump off this sinking ship.
...
"You can do it anh! you're magical! You can make thinks happen for yourself easily. Count on me for help. I trust in you."
120309
i'm actually inspiring others to quit their job? haa yes, it's just a job, not your career.
haa ryan has a shirt for everyone!
can you find me one that says, "my other job keeps me sane."?
galpal: I think your going to do great. Did you know that when I met you I thought you were like a business man. I think you are meant to do big things. You have it written all over you.
nikko: I'm at incheonwon bro! i'm surprised you're not here! LOL
anh: i'm in the kitchen! BAHAHA
120310
BIG BANG THEORY, YOUR MOTHER... two great sitcoms playing at the same time. WHY?!
120311
(drunk commenting again)
jenn: ulysses hazz a peruvian manana! weave me along, wyoming! *hiccup
...
jenn:
120312
holy shatner! these are GINORMOUS shrimps! at what point do you call them LOBSTERS?!
jong: I feel sad that you left.
anh: aww things will get better when YOU leave! haa
don: you go to INCHEONWON more frequently than anyone.
anh: nah-aaah! not as often as those who work there!
120313
little saigon... where EVERYBODY drives under the speed limit!
"a person who loves you is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes in the smile on your face."
120314
"if you build it, they will come."
120315
ted: what are you doing here?
barney: the lord's work.
ted: but you're satan!
...
YOUR MOTHER
...
BAHAHA I can so relate to this!
miguel: hey, bartender!
bartender: i'm not a bartender, i'm a mixologist!
...
brad: hey, DJ!
DJ: I'm not a DJ, i'm a turntable-ist!
...
OUR FAMILY WEDDING
120317
(monica bellucci): it's not my fault that everytime men see me, their pants get tight.
...
How Much Do You Love Me?
...
BAHAHA this could also be nicole tanner's quote!
this black home inspector is already like 6'5", yet he's wearing sneakers with 2" heels. really?
jon: is that a nokia?
ryan: no, it's a nikon!
...
this is when you know peeps are drinking.
wait, I keep smelling weed at this party, but I didn't smoke any!
party goer: don't worry! drink it! this stuff is good!
marie: I don't know... this white stuff scares me.
holly: i'm not a smoker, more of a sniffer.
party goer: you're not gonna eat this?
marie: i'm not big on meat. is that real wood?
120319
DRAW SOMETHING makes me look like an amateur artist! bleh...
(DRAW SOMETHING)
haa joyce! a JOYSTICK? you could've drawn a... jon: PENIS!
120321
sidney: you forgot the #1 rule with remakes... don't fcuk with the original!
...
SCREAM 4
120323
someone should fire duh boss. he cannot make wise decisions to save his own life. BAHAHA
dunno who kobe is, but I know what kobe beef is!
"some of the reasons why gay guys have so many girlfriends are because they understand girls and are easier to communicate." | PERSONAL TASTE k-series
...
BAHAHA you don't have to be gay. some rare few are just more comfortable with girls!
i'mma be hungry at THE HUNGER GAMES.
jamie, sure you can play DRAW SOMETHING on your blackberry using that tiny scroll ball. BAHAHA
(about to see HUNGER GAMES)
michelle wu: where are jamie and debbie?
anh: they went to see BATTLE ROYALE.
120324
"you're a guy, but you still bathe everyday?" | PERSONAL TASTE k-series
...
BAHAHA a question don would never be asked!
120325
(DRAW SOMETHING)
horsefish, seahorse... what's the difference?
madeline: Hey you know how you call not ugly people 'ugly'? So what would you call a super attractive person? 'Hideous'? o:
anh: FUGLY.
120326
21 JUMP STREET playing in theater 21?! haa it was meant to be!
120327
anh: hey, that's where don's mom's place is!
galpal: who's don?
120328
"i don't like ugly people. it pains me to even talk to you." | HEARTSTRINGS k-series
...
BAHAHA to all my uglies!
girl: sir, you're not a pervert, are you?
guy: you're not at the level of GIRLS' GENERATION. why should I take a second look at you?
...
HEARTSTRINGS k-series
...
BAHAHA agreed!
the free version of DRAW SOMETHING is recycling clues?! I've drawn the same eskimo at least 4 times now! haa i'mma have to stop playing.
120329
SONUVABITCH! that wasn't avocado! that was WASABI!
...
ryan: ...it wasn't green tea ice-cream either! LOOL
(on fujie miyatsuka's wall)
gomenasai desuka? banka note pikachu!
120330
if anyone here wins the lotto, I'm canceling my facebook account.
(disputing over the last box of madeleines)
coworker 1: hey, don't you have any respect for seniority? I'm older!
coworker 2: but i'm taller.
...
PERSONAL TASTE k-series
I just typed on an iphone... ugh, so frakkin' slow! that's what people used to do, right? glad I'm swyping!
i'm so grateful to have celebs like LEE HYORI and YURI occasionally comment on my posts.
wouldn't it be funny if all of your PRIVATE photo albums are suddenly open to the public? haa the paranoids would have seizures!
rashell: anh is funny, drunk or sober! lol
to the ones suffering from multiple personalities,
why do you keep changing your profile name to different sh*ts nobody gets?
galpal: i actually like my body.
anh: dunno. haven't seen you naked.
Don: well well well... be the judge of... THIS!
anh: aaah come on! put your pants back on! whatta fcuk?!
NEWSFLASH: you cannot control a legsman with your fun bags, woman!
waittaminit... you're telling me that i can actually upload videos to youtube straight from my phone?!
way to go CONAN for featuring another underground band i don't care for. how about inviting GIRLS' GENERATION like DAVID LETTERMAN did?
joyce: Anh, I love the convos you have with yourself lol
...
haa my close friend to the 4th degree; and i love her!
ghost stalker | acquaintance | friend | good friend | close friend | best friend | blocked
...
where do YOU belong?
stephen: you reek of kimchi and soju.
anh: you reek of kimchi and absinthe.
alright, i'm not adding anymore dudes! having 2 guyfriends is enough.
...
stephen: Me, David, Do.... wait a minute.. that's over 2.
marie: i disagree. and i'm still raping the REPLAY button on that stupid song.
dude: why won't you add anymore dudes?
anh: i'm not gonna have sex with you, am i?
i'm confusing everybody quoting everybody.
My dog knows the alphabet better than Don Vu does.
120302
Fannie Hsieh: school is so COOL! I breathe cinder block sized physics books and feel no need for a healthy social life! Zzzzzz
emily cheng: FCUK NOOO! LET'S GOOO!
truly amazing how you can meet awesome people so randomly here. Jom Naknakorn is DAVID AWESOM!
"Sorry, we couldn't save your tag because this photo has already been tagged with Users the maximum number of times allowed."
...
BAHAHAA as i was tagging for BEST BEAR HUG EVER!
Don Vu has a face that begs to be rearranged; he would actually look better after a boxing match.
Anhjun Lozfen likes Anhjun Lozfen's status.
Anhjun Lozfen likes Jenn Lee liking Anhjun Lozfen's status.
hmm, it's friday night, why isn't jenn wandering the streets of long beach drunk-commenting?
they only allow you to tag a maximum of 49 friends; cuz i am facebook, i reached 49.5
jenn: why are you still up?
anh: it's not anh, it's DROID. why are you still sober?
jenn: hi DROID :)
anh: i meant, this is DROID... Y RU 571LL 50B3R?
(on jenn lee's wall)
H3770, 8008. DROID 15 HUN6RY. MU57 637 C3R34L5 N0W...
...
jenn: Hmm...637...can't decipher that one...
DROID: it means "GET", woman!
jenn: we can make your drawing go viral!
anh: i think it already did.
jenn: don't drop the soap in a prison shower.
don: don't mind if i do! hehe
120303
rosa: so how late will we be for that BANG BUS event?
crystal: i don't know. i'm trying to beat your record.
jamie: it's sooo salty!
vince: that's what she said!
rosa: wait, whaaat? i don't get it.
she: don't you get anything i say, woman?
anh: thank-you so much for driving!
bang bus driver: fcuk you.
anh: did he just say what i thought i heard?
jenn: i heard that too!
Meeksy Meeks, thanks for hitting CRAB SHACK for jamie, but you'll still like INCHEONWON BETTER!
...
naomi: don't you sleep?
Michelle Wu: oh yeah, like a normal person, i enjoy my 12 hours. ah... sleep...
Jincent Starks: *fart*
for those of you who still don't know what INCHEONWON is, i'm sooo sorry... BAHAHAA
...
Rosa Ly Oul: i'm sorry i got banned. FML
ryan grotsky: OPPS LOOL i prefer skipping dinner and studying my ass off over meeting anh's uglies!
Emily Cheng: aww that's not nice, ryan!
Fannie Hsieh: Zzzzzzzz
Michelle Wu: ah... sleep...
rosa: anh rather facebook early in the morning than play archery.
anh: i rather get a rude awakening with a blowjob early in the morning than play archery.
she: that's what he said!
Joyce: i totally got that one! hehe
alright, that was a nice break from my power nap. i'mma go back to sleep now!
...
Michelle Wu: i recommend sleeping. ah... I only got 11 hours. I'll try again next week. I love sleep =)
anh: BAHAHAA that's more than enough already, michie! you're like frakkin' comatose!
120304
jenn: My mom said "who was the nice Korean boy with glasses?" I said u are not Korean. She was like, he said hello in Korean, close enough.
anh: oh wow! that further confirms that i AM korean! yayYEAH!
i certainly fooled everyone last night; they all thought i was drunk when i didn't drink at all... especially the drunk ones.
with an average of 12 hours of sleep per night, Michelle Wu is literally sleeping for two... and is virtually comatose. i'mma get you a four-pack of LEE'S COFFEE, woman!
120305
for those of you who were left out, lemme post another version of the same drawing so i'm allowed to tag 49 more peeps. BAHAHAA
too many uglies, not enough cameras!
i swear, i know too many ugly monkeys. you know who you are!
cindy manojit: maahwhwhw! everything is so "LOUD" on your fb! i'm soo shy
Anhjun Lozfen, Heather Uyan, and Jenn Lee will start their own CANADA DRY FAN CLUB... cuz no other flavor beats GINGER ALE, PEACHES!
is everything THAT loud on my wall? do we really scare that many people?
ryan: korean bbq sounds fun!
anh: it's not a game, it's a FEAST!
ryan: for KINGS!
anh: VIKINGS!
jeeh, that was brilliant. i accidentally deleted that post with all the tags.
120307
thanks to David AweSom, i'm now short of one WACOM tablet. how am i gonna draw without a stylus?! with a frakkin' mouse? GHETTO!
did i say i was gonna move to texas? i'mma move to SOUTH KOREA!
120308
MADELINE GARCIA's dream:
...
I dreamt about you last night! You were on a date with this one Asian woman who was all trying to get in your pants. You flirted with her and you guys started making out. My friend and I were in the same room and could hear you guys making out. So to make you two shut up, I purposefully fell on the side of my body and pretended my arm was severely hurt. Surely enough, my plan worked out! I knew you, being my friend, would come over and see if I was okay. You came over and asked if my arm was okay, I pretended it hurt really bad and you looked concerned.
After a while, I left, and I don't think you ever got laid by that horny Asian woman. She was tall and wore a red dress that had a slit through it which revealed her leg. No one gets any in my dreams. Sorry. I'm sure you still get some in real life though.
...
BAHAHAA such detailed recollection!
stephen: you should give them at least 2-weeks notice.
anh: no, i cannot bite my tongue for another 2 weeks; and have them train my replacement?
stephen: or you can train your replacement all wrong!
anh: BAHAHAA GENIUS, mr bartender!
coworker from my last company: you know what anh? when you left us, we were MISERABLE!
...
that company's supervisor was shortly fired for making personal long distance calls. BAHAHAA karma's a bitch!
YEAR OF THE DRAGON... time to take risks, peaches!
120309
galpal: haters gonna hate.
anh: haters hate uglies with good personalities.
galpal: haters can have good personalities too!
anh: no, haters are not people. haa
INCHEONWON is now INCHEONWanh!
i might as well co-own the best korean bbq in the country!
(about my BEST BEAR HUG EVER! piece)
don: I haven't seen your artwork look this good in a while. It actually looks improved!
anh: that's what happens when i don't draw much... my skills improve!
if you even manage to piss Anhjun Lozfen off, you're an asshole.
if you even manage to piss David Cook off, you're hopeless.
the fact that INCHEONWON serves you filtered water tells you a lot about how much they value their customers!
galpal: i'll confront you! i'm not scared of you!
anh: BAHAHAA don't make me poke you.
i would've taken a bullet for him; now, i'll just let him receive it.
...
Stephen: tell me when, bro! i still have him in my sight!
Ryan: LOOL WHITE OPPS: limited edition!
jom: thank you! i am happy with what you've given me!
anh: happiness is what i give to people.
anh: our korean people are GENIUSES! filtered water... at a restaurant?! unheard of!
jenn: Mmhmm...and we rock BC we r both Korean :D
anh: haa that goes without sayin'! REPRESENT, PEACHES!
120313
coworker: you left? aww i'm gonna miss you! we're still gonna be friends, right?
anh: duh! i don't add coworkers i don't care for.
i really like how active Justine Pham is whenever she logs in! haa that's how social everyone should be!
120314
jenn: i don't drink tap water either. eww
anh: that's why some restaurants add lime.
jenn: yup, but you can still tell.
anh: yeah, it's like adding a hair bow to Don Vu. i can still tell it's an unkept woman.
without risk, there is no success. most peeps just need a kick in the ass!
120320
anh: what? SM Entertainment released another version of GIRLS' GENERATION's "the boys" music video?!
Don Vu: psh! and you call yourself asian?! they have 4 versions of that video... and i have all 5!
120324
HUNGER GAMES left me dissatisfied, so i went to eat at INCHEONWON!
yeah, i can drive a stick-shift pretty easily, but i don't miss it... i need my other hand for facebooking. BAHAHAA
120325
Anhjun Lozfen is listening to Anything That's Not on the Radio on Spotify.
120326
don: can you take be back from the autoshop?
anh: look, i'll even drive you to work, but you should find a ride back; whether it be by subway... or quiznos.
120328
madeline: To be honest, it's interesting to see how you draw. I just watch you as you draw. You make me feel like a crap artist though. Thanks.
120330
those friends who are too lazy to find your wall to post/ask something so they irrelevantly comment on any of your posts. you know who you are, Justine Pham and Rosa Ly Oul! booooo!
120331
RED POT > HOT POT
...
Nanashi Sama: fcuk YEAH!
David Cook: nom nom nom...
120301
intern, slave... what's the difference?!
I think I've mastered status posting... and commenting.
i'm still surprised to how much peeps want to see me. didn't know I was this wanted.
I imagine emily cheng as either an archer elf or a sparkly little fairy. she's a gem.
what would take someone a whole day on photoshop would take me just 30 minutes. I find that hilarious!
... and on top of that, i'm juggling facebook! whaaat?
i'm starting to believe all filipinos are nurses; and heather is an ugly one.
"i'll stand by you" is one of the most annoying songs EVER!
...
marie: hey, that's my favorite!
anh: that's why you're both lame.
marie: i'm still raping the REPLAY button! haa
sonuva... I might have to grab a MONSTER! like latinas, i'm craving the taste.
MONSTER... the devil's drink. a week's worth of candy high in a can.
lemme show you what i'm having since you're starving.
and no, I will not LIKE your page. I don't even like you! haa
"facebook is down for maintenance."
...
anh: NOOO! i'll just transfer to facebook 2.0 then!
joyce: Nooooo! what will we read and comment on without you?
anh: haa yeah, everyone else is pretty much inactive!
eddy: if I didn't get my SAMSUNG galaxy S2 tablet, I would've waited for the galaxy note.
anh: aww that always happens! I get with a girl, and a hotter one shows up!
no... I don't wanna do my laundry today! i'mma just wear my shirt inside out. who's gonna notice?
120302
why are all of these lights turning green?! I. cannot. POST!
stephen: lemme know what you'll bring to my housewarming party.
anh: i'mma bring a party of at least 30 peeps to your tiny condo.
JEBUS! GINORMOUS pockeys! might as well make them baguette size!
...
stephen: that's what she said?
she: might as well make your penis baguette size, stephen!
HELPFUL TIP: LIE to the worst of the non-punctuals and tell them to arrive 2 hours earlier to any event.
...
michelle wu: this ain't BLACK HAWK DOWN; we WILL leave you behind!
...
BAHAHA I hate you, ugly!
don't invest in a smartphone if you're too dumb to use it to its full capabilities.
working... who, in their right mind, would work on fridays, anyway?! only LOSERS work on fridays!
she: hurry! I wanna see it!
120303
getting some banging on the party bus.
120304
I took my galpal to see the last HARRY POTTER film cuz her lame ass boy didn't want to. she was really grateful.
"a guy that good looking, still single? he's a player." | FRIGHT NIGHT
...
BAHAHA
120305
next time someone shoots for you, check it. most don't even know what half-pressing to focus or even what framing is!
jenn's camera model: CMOS Sensor 2000
MANGA BROWSER app for any smartphone user! cuz reading stories without visuals is frakkin' boring.
peeps who drop their phone in the toilet cuz they couldn't wait to finish. now, they have to wait for another phone... I don't get it.
all phones should be waterproof so that you can answer it immediately after dropping it in the yellow water.
drop a chocolate candy bar in a public pool and watch people clear the area.
ariel: how's your weekend, anh?
anh: don't I show up in your newsfeed?
anh: do you have a coworker who sneezes every 2 minutes to the point where you just stop saying, "bless you."?
don: no, but I do have a coworker who sneezes every fcuking minute and coughs every fcuking 30 seconds!
anh: yeah, they only allowed me to tag the maximum of 49 friends for that drawing.
don: well, why don't you post that same drawing again and tag 49 more?
anh: sonuva... GENIUS! that's why they pay you the big bucks, huh? $4.50/hr?!
don: wait, I got a raise?
thought she just went MIA. then she bothered to give me her new number? aww sweet!
120306
I overshot. that last quarter of the LEE'S COFFEE concentrate gave me 2 full servings that, I guess, I now have to drink? haa is that bad?
good thing I don't work for the post office.
anh: I'm having a fucking bad day.
ariel: oh, hang in there! it's tuesday. only 3 more days!
...
BAHAHA FCUK!
galpal: anh, are you single?
...
haa am I that mysterious?
they don't get along, but I like them both. damn ugly monkeys.
120307
"why are you still there?"
...
haa heard this from a few who's already quit that sinking ship!
jocelyn: I always wondered why guys like women dressed as little girls.
anh: well, you're a little girl dressed as a woman. haa
HORRIBLE BOSSES
...
haa such an appropriate comedy i'm watching!
I would definitely not mind working under JENNIFER ANISTON!
"nobody pays you to be a husband, unless you're married to OPRAH." | HORRIBLE BOSSES
kurt: I wouldn't mind bending her over a barrel and showing her all 50 states, huh?"
...
HORRIBLE BOSSES
(CHA for TEA)
anh: you asked for boba with your mango green tea?
jocelyn: yeah, I like the feeling of black balls in my mouth.
NOTE TO SELF: grocery shopping while hungry... DON'T DO IT!
120308
wow, just found out another galpal had a dream about me last night. such strange coincidence!
a THIRD galpal dreamt about me last night?! this definitely has to be more than simple coincidence!
whether or not they fire me, i'mma jump off this sinking ship.
...
"You can do it anh! you're magical! You can make thinks happen for yourself easily. Count on me for help. I trust in you."
120309
i'm actually inspiring others to quit their job? haa yes, it's just a job, not your career.
haa ryan has a shirt for everyone!
can you find me one that says, "my other job keeps me sane."?
galpal: I think your going to do great. Did you know that when I met you I thought you were like a business man. I think you are meant to do big things. You have it written all over you.
nikko: I'm at incheonwon bro! i'm surprised you're not here! LOL
anh: i'm in the kitchen! BAHAHA
120310
BIG BANG THEORY, YOUR MOTHER... two great sitcoms playing at the same time. WHY?!
120311
(drunk commenting again)
jenn: ulysses hazz a peruvian manana! weave me along, wyoming! *hiccup
...
jenn:
120312
holy shatner! these are GINORMOUS shrimps! at what point do you call them LOBSTERS?!
jong: I feel sad that you left.
anh: aww things will get better when YOU leave! haa
don: you go to INCHEONWON more frequently than anyone.
anh: nah-aaah! not as often as those who work there!
120313
little saigon... where EVERYBODY drives under the speed limit!
"a person who loves you is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes in the smile on your face."
120314
"if you build it, they will come."
120315
ted: what are you doing here?
barney: the lord's work.
ted: but you're satan!
...
YOUR MOTHER
...
BAHAHA I can so relate to this!
miguel: hey, bartender!
bartender: i'm not a bartender, i'm a mixologist!
...
brad: hey, DJ!
DJ: I'm not a DJ, i'm a turntable-ist!
...
OUR FAMILY WEDDING
120317
(monica bellucci): it's not my fault that everytime men see me, their pants get tight.
...
How Much Do You Love Me?
...
BAHAHA this could also be nicole tanner's quote!
this black home inspector is already like 6'5", yet he's wearing sneakers with 2" heels. really?
jon: is that a nokia?
ryan: no, it's a nikon!
...
this is when you know peeps are drinking.
wait, I keep smelling weed at this party, but I didn't smoke any!
party goer: don't worry! drink it! this stuff is good!
marie: I don't know... this white stuff scares me.
holly: i'm not a smoker, more of a sniffer.
party goer: you're not gonna eat this?
marie: i'm not big on meat. is that real wood?
120319
DRAW SOMETHING makes me look like an amateur artist! bleh...
(DRAW SOMETHING)
haa joyce! a JOYSTICK? you could've drawn a... jon: PENIS!
120321
sidney: you forgot the #1 rule with remakes... don't fcuk with the original!
...
SCREAM 4
120323
someone should fire duh boss. he cannot make wise decisions to save his own life. BAHAHA
dunno who kobe is, but I know what kobe beef is!
"some of the reasons why gay guys have so many girlfriends are because they understand girls and are easier to communicate." | PERSONAL TASTE k-series
...
BAHAHA you don't have to be gay. some rare few are just more comfortable with girls!
i'mma be hungry at THE HUNGER GAMES.
jamie, sure you can play DRAW SOMETHING on your blackberry using that tiny scroll ball. BAHAHA
(about to see HUNGER GAMES)
michelle wu: where are jamie and debbie?
anh: they went to see BATTLE ROYALE.
120324
"you're a guy, but you still bathe everyday?" | PERSONAL TASTE k-series
...
BAHAHA a question don would never be asked!
120325
(DRAW SOMETHING)
horsefish, seahorse... what's the difference?
madeline: Hey you know how you call not ugly people 'ugly'? So what would you call a super attractive person? 'Hideous'? o:
anh: FUGLY.
120326
21 JUMP STREET playing in theater 21?! haa it was meant to be!
120327
anh: hey, that's where don's mom's place is!
galpal: who's don?
120328
"i don't like ugly people. it pains me to even talk to you." | HEARTSTRINGS k-series
...
BAHAHA to all my uglies!
girl: sir, you're not a pervert, are you?
guy: you're not at the level of GIRLS' GENERATION. why should I take a second look at you?
...
HEARTSTRINGS k-series
...
BAHAHA agreed!
the free version of DRAW SOMETHING is recycling clues?! I've drawn the same eskimo at least 4 times now! haa i'mma have to stop playing.
120329
SONUVABITCH! that wasn't avocado! that was WASABI!
...
ryan: ...it wasn't green tea ice-cream either! LOOL
(on fujie miyatsuka's wall)
gomenasai desuka? banka note pikachu!
120330
if anyone here wins the lotto, I'm canceling my facebook account.
(disputing over the last box of madeleines)
coworker 1: hey, don't you have any respect for seniority? I'm older!
coworker 2: but i'm taller.
...
PERSONAL TASTE k-series
I just typed on an iphone... ugh, so frakkin' slow! that's what people used to do, right? glad I'm swyping!
i'm so grateful to have celebs like LEE HYORI and YURI occasionally comment on my posts.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
SKITS - FEBRUARY
120201
jenn: I looked at my news feed and saw all the posts were yours and thought I was on your page...I wasn't. Lol!
anh: haa I fool EVERYONE!
jenn: Lol, it makes my day go faster reading updates ^_^
anh: much less boring! haa
jenn: Now, if everyone posted like u then I would never be bored!
anh: aww at least, someone appreciates my hard work!
mike truong: I appreciate all your work Anh!!!! It helps my day go by better!!!
anh: omigod, I have more than one fan?
120202
anh: if you find goodies on your work desk, it's most likely me! that's how I keep friends cuz I don't have much of a personality. BAHAHA
david awesom: You never leave me shit. I'm gonna go kick your trash bin over into the printer that'll fall through the window and land on your bosses car that's gonna explode and light the side of the building on fire, setting your boss ablaze to run through the office where your boss lays on your desk and all your artworks explode.
?(playing DEAD RISING 2)
sister: wait, i have to fight?!
anh: that's why they call it a "survival game".
sister: it's stressful! so many people, it's like being back in hong kong!
120204
anh: where do you wanna go eat at this hour?
don: dunno... ALERTOS?
anh: no, i don't wanna sit there and get shot.
don: well, i've sat there several times, they missed.
anh: you know filipino natives, like rosa, love eating balut! that's too hardcore!
don: wait, that sounds familiar... isn't that a country?
anh: that's BEIRUT!
GIRLS' GENERATION "paradise in phuket": 6-disc (DVD + photobook)
...
"This product is temporarily out of stock"
...
FCUK!
120206
david cook: I lost interest in football when I lost my football mitt in elementary school. And the football my brother gave me when I was 10 years old got stuck in a tree when I hit it too hard with my football racquet. Anyway, I was terrible at the game. Every goal I tried to make was an airball. It's frustrating, especially when pros like Tiger Woods make it look so easy. Even though I didn't watch the game, I heard that New York won, but I'm not sure if that mean Mets or Yankees.
120207
i'mma stop jumping on the bandwagon and wish happy birthday just cuz facebook told me to. you know i love you!
120208
it's not that i post too much, it's cuz you peeps don't post enough!
making final selections of photos to upload... why is Ratha Marie Ngan sooo ugly?!
making final selections of photos to upload... can i take Nicole Tanner home?!
i still need to shower. ugh... someone's not sleeping much tonight! well, on the other hand, Don will sleep soundly since he NEVER showers!
...
fannie: ewww! STILL? how come you never invite him over to shower at your place!
TWITTER? whatta fcuk is that?
justine: how do your photos look so elegant?
anh: cuz i don't half-ass my work.
marie: which photos are u selecting to post?
anh: i select the ugly ones.
Ratha Marie Ngan's best angle is the back of her head.
who, in their right mind, would take a shower at midnight...?! this chap, right here!
karaokEddy Hao, you are one cool chap for driving David Cook back to his car! i would've just hailed a cab.
joyce: It's no longer facebook, it's anhsbook...
120210
why are you single? there must be something wrong with you.
why are you not married? there must be something wrong with you.
why aren't you having sextuplets? there must be something wrong with you.
when you have a feeling of deja-vu, it really only means that your mind is tired... or a glitch in THE MATRIX.
those peeps who are only cool when they're drunk should STAY DRUNK!
if you can't find me at INCHEONWON, you can find me in its parking lot... making out.
JEBUS! i'm having a JO SHOW MARATHON! Jocelyn Him can really talk!
friends don't let friends add Jocelyn Him if you don't want their phone to EXPLODE!
survey: how do you know your facebook friends?
anh: friends of friends of friends of friends.
...
e.g. Joyce Mojica
survey: How many of those friends do you know in person?
anh: 75%... i actually do meet with at least 50% from my list.
survey: which race should your girlfriend be?
anh: human.
survey: how tall should your girlfriend be?
anh: at least belt level.
here are the flaws from my previous girlfriends. you figure out who's who:
...
gold digger, drama queen, workaholic, lesbian, the devil.
120211
i'm really glad i met Ryan Grotsky! he is another awesome chap! or should i say... CUB! haa
EVERYBODY loves Ryan Grotsky! regardless of his ridiculous typos!
...
ryan: true story, bro.
Nicole Tanner... best one-person audience EVER! if we had more peeps like her, all sitcoms would be a HIT! laugh it off, peaches!
you know you've used too much hairspray when you cannot move your eyebrows.
to those peeps bothering to comment while drunk... you are AWESOME! haa
120212
jocelyn: you keep your car pretty clean for a guy!
anh: well, unlike don, you won't find any fish bone in here!
have to filter/edit/post today's photoshoot tonight?! aww... the things i would do for my uglies.
Jocelyn Him has been officially added to my UGLIES list. she gives INSANELY "breath-taking" bear-hugs like our notorious ugly monkey, Emily Cheng!
120213
well apparently, ryan, nobody can checkout your youtube links cuz we're WORKING!
to the mutual friends i just confirmed... i have no idea who you are. INTRODUCION, POR FAVOR!
david awesom: My name is David. Hi Anhole, nice to meet you!
anh: uh, i think you misspelled ASSHOLE!
jocelyn: did someone call me?
is it wrong for me just to LIKE someone's laughter? i enjoy "hearing" those sooo much! BAHAHAA
yeah, my galpals are just a tad younger than don's daughter.
anh: nonono, ethan (nephew)! you stay away from claire (don's daughter)! older women are BAD for you!
...
she's 10.
120214
jocelyn: why are you having me walk away from traffic?
anh: so i could push you through the restaurant window to avoid a swerving car.
?"you're still beautiful to me." EPIK HIGH
...
to the only ugly I have in mind right now. xoxo
...
jocelyn: which one in your list?
anh: this one!
jocelyn: [runs away]
anh: hey! slow down! my unmarked black van cannot go that fast!
jocelyn: [peddles even faster on tricycle] MUAHAHAA >:D
anh: what an asshole!
120215
chris sicam: ugh... I'm craving Korean BBQ
anh: ugh... i'm craving GIRLS' GENERATION
all filipinos and filipino impostors LOVE korean BBQs! yayYEAH!
all filipinos and filipino impostors LIKE my previous post! yayYEAH!
G.E.M. is truly a gem.
120216
jocelyn is actually not a cocky girl... she's an asshole.
120217
heather: sometimes, i wonder if you're a hamster on cocaine always running in its exercise wheel.
anh: wow, i'm pumping so many posts today! i'm on a roll!
joyce: haa when are you never on a roll?
anonymous: hey, are you still on facebook? i can't see you anymore!
anh: oh! were you following my posts? i didn't know you were active so i deleted you! sorry, i'll add you back!
...
to those GHOST STALKERS who never click on LIKE or comment... BAHAHAA
just took another midnight shower... someone's not sleeping tonight!
anh: i have a feeling i'm addicted to this social network. i get more done here than porn sites! what would i do without FACEBOOK?!
founder: FACEBOOK 2.0
anh: GENIUS!
kristian: so anh, what have you been up to?
anh: isn't my facebook wall practically a journal open to friends? haa
NO! i will not switch to that TIMELINE format! i rather go back to FRIENDSTER! wait, nevermind... not really.
...
crystal: GAH! I wanna switch back to the original format! >:I Its a choice you can't undo!
anh: yeah, i'd have an easier time undoing bras
120218
Don Vu...
"how did you get so dirty?! do you take the earth... and rub it upon your face?" | YOUR HIGHNESS
again... you miss an event, you may miss an opportunity to meet interesting people. i know this all too well; i met sausage lover, Joyce Mojica, this way. so get off your sofa and get out, peaches!
i feel a definite connection with Brent Bacheller. i got your back, ambiguously-korean white guy!
"olivia, your friend is a good photographer."
...
why, thank-you! tough work shootin' uglies!
Genieve Serafica
It's her birthday.
Say Happy Birthday
...
NOOO! what's the point? she's NEVER logged in!
120219
you come to an event, you assume they all know everyone except you; once you leave, they STILL don't know everyone except you. haa
chime: i'm at work right now ):
anh: aww you know you can always chat with me, geek. anytime of the day!
...
I AM FACEBOOK.
chime: thanks, anh. i miss those times where we go party, get drunk. haha oh my :')
anh: BAHAHAA you will get them back.
chime: haa i wish.
anh: your wish is my command! Don Vu's hair SHALL be shaved off!
omigod, some peeps can't even operate a simple point-and-shoot camera; let alone, even know where the shutter button is!
chris: Lol Anh, I didn't see u take this photo!
anh: if i were a sniper, that'd be pretty bad for you, huh?
Madeline Garcia and Chris Sicam are my official cheap dates. yayYEAH!
i'd still take better photos than you with a cheap disposable camera. best believe it!
next time someone asks me what i am, i'mma just let them guess and go with that; i usually get korean, japanese, or asshole.
...
marie: i would have gone with asshole. just my guess.
jocelyn: and i usually get ugly, asshole, or BOTH!
Ratha Marie Ngan Nguyen, are you ugly, pretty ugly, or both?
asian food > american food
...
ryan: true story, bro!
kit: Balut is one of my faves. :P
anh: HELL NOOO! i rather have dog meat in my pho!
you know you should be sleeping when you're chatting with one eye open.
120220
some peeps don't give you the option to UNFOLLOW their posts; it's like a shotgun wedding.
naomi: i can study n then see u guys at ur FINAL DESTINATION.
anh: nice way to end the night there, NAOMI! i don't want it to be the BANG BUS party... to HELL!
Don Vu: don't you ever get sick of INCHEONWON?
anh: don't you ever get sick of DISNEYLAND?
Emily Cheng: what kind of a question is that, DON?! FCUK NOOO! LET'S GOOO!
Fannie Hsieh: LET'S DO SOMEONE!
anh: (looks at sweat shirt) wow, you went there to?!
Lang Lac: yeah!
anh: seems like all the COOL people i know went to CSULB!
Rich Le: didn't Don Vu go there too?
anh: oh, nevermind.
DROID: 010101100 shouldn't you be hitting the sack, master?
anh: no, cuz sleeping is for LOSERS!
is there an auto-correct for auto-correct, ryan?
120224
some girls have more makeup than what Don Vu has to apply for his side-job as a clown.
BRANDON'S STATUS: we all are but ladies more vulnerable to these things that go bump and creek in the night they feel feed , touch and try to manipulate you through or in you;re dreams using you're feelings and bad energy, you can take notice if you focus and feel , learn to hear and sense but none should worry for there is. and we have because we are part of the greater good all mighty light of peace and love and everything more along with nothing more that ever there is or was
...
NOTE TO SELF: do not post while high.
BAHAHAA what the fcuk are you sayin'?!
Jenn Lee, i need you to post/comment again while drunk... complete with hieroglyphic $p3llin6. that one time when you hit the club already plastered was frakkin' hilarious!
120225
"is your hair a mop? go wash it!" | BIRDIE BUDDY (korean series)
...
BAHAHA Don Vu, they actually said this!
120226
i'mma be sober for 40 days.
120227
omigod, i have to stop confirming people i don't know... my friends list was at two digits just last week!
some peeps i never met add me just to see my photos. haa i don't think so! i don't invite you into my place just to browse through my family albums... DELETE DELETE
i gotta regulate friend requests. this is getting ridiculous! alright Don Vu, you're the next one to go!
and don't get me started with peeps who never log in... when they actually do, i ask myself, "who is this? who the fcuk is STEPH BOBS?!". they're just wasting valuable real estate.
MARIE NGAN only dates plastic surgeons. (that's one good looking nose!)
120229
Ryan Grotsky, how are you so smart at being so dumb?!
...
ryan: reverse psychology.
anh: alright then... how are you so dumb at being so smart?!
we definitely need to add Ryan Grotsky to the TEAM KRAZIES VIP list! that spelling-dud cub just cracks me up... effortlessly!
ryan: am two skool for cool! LOOL
i only read mangas and movie subtitles cuz actual books put me to sleep... and i also have immunity to caffeine. haa
CLAMS > SAUSAGES
...
Joyce Mojica/ Bert Cruz (JON): NOOOOOO!
marie: well, i have to agree on this one.
rosa: wait, whaaat? i don't get it.
leave it to my ingeniously dumb jokesters to distract me. i have photos to work on, peaches!
(while commenting)
emily: why did you tag me? i'm right here.
...
BAHAHAA good going, stephen!
remember guys... Fannie Hsieh is a hermit physics nerd, so she's "scurred" of everything! especially, Don Vu coming out of a shower with just a sock on.
...
don: LIES! everyone knows i don't shower!
fannie: you don't have to tell me twice, don. eww...
"Facebook Chat is currently unavailable."
...
well, that's my cue to sleep!
120201
I don't expect GIRLS' GENERATION to get more recognition here. americans are closed minded, and I don't wanna share them anyway! haa
jenn: dirty girls have more fun!
anh: omigod... I love you.
rosa: wait, whaaat? what do you mean by "dirty"?
uh oh, they're sending an HR up to work with us in our art department. I say she's a SPY! I better finish my sandwich fast!
my SKITS have quadrupled in size! thanks, david awesom, steph bobs, and whyan!
accidentally squirted soap all over, so it looks like I just jizzed on myself.
chime and nikko must be from the same top-secret agency... M.I.A.
...
*Mofos *In hiding from *Anh
rich: hey, look! my HTC smartphone is slimmer than your DROID! haa
...
then, he added a fat extended battery. BAHAHA
"you make me feel comfortable, anh"
...
haa i'm always surprised when I hear that!
bottom line is... you're comfortable with yourself, you'll make others comfortable. and both david cook and david awesom know that works wonders!
how is my dog so frakkin' buff? he doesn't even workout...! JEBUS!
120202
anh: I'm sorry, but I have to stay away from toilet humor. I'm not a fob.
fob: what da heo?! (flip-flops away in disgust chewing on his cancer stick while sipping on a heineken)
duh boss is considering having me teach a warehouse employee how to use photoshop at my level which took me years of work and experience to master? is he insane?! does he really think it's like teaching a monkey how to punch in numbers? hell noooo!
anh: I really work at the speed of 10 people. that's why duh boss thinks what I do is easy! ugh...
david awesom: wipe that cocaine off your nose, buddy! haa
anh: with coke, I'd be 10x faster!
your facebook wall is mine.
kyle: oooh... salad dressing!
anh: yeah, I love italian! I should date one.
brent: the french are rude, arrogant, and never bathe.
anh: hey! i'm not arrogant!
anh: hey, raf! where's your office partner?
raffy: oh, lilet went home to get her pack of cigarettes cuz I wouldn't share mine.
anh: isn't her place like an hour away?!
raffy: yes.
...
BAHAHAA sometimes, I give my dialogues to others.
no failed relationship is a waste of time; it's experience... unless it's 8-10 years! BAHAHA boooo!
if you find goodies on your work desk, it's most likely me! that's how I keep friends cuz I don't have much of a personality. BAHAHA
don: hey, guess what I saw! guess what I saw!
anh: what? your life flashing before your eyes?
don: dude, your mom is scary!
anh: haa ALPHA MOM!
don: I thought I was here to play video-games, but i'll only have time to watch you and your sister shower?!
don: (to some dude) how could you be homophobic? that's so ignorant. so... gay!
anh: yeah, he already feels uncomfortable having women touch him.
sister: do you have, uh, THE NOTEBOOK? that anime series?
anh: what? oh... DEATHNOTE!
don: ...
120203
mylene: what does this mean: iBook G4? I'm trying to open my comp but this is what's showing on the screen.
anh: get a PC.
jenn is having girls night with mike and anh! yayYEAH!
nhi: what a horrible week. I deserve a whole damn mess of glow-in-the-dark stars for this!
anh: haa one of my exes stuck a whole constellation above my bed without even asking for my permission!
nhi: cuz only satan wouldn't want stars above their bed.
don: I think you spend more time on Kpop than porn.
anh: damn, you're right!
don: so you're not as much of a pervert as I thought.
anh: nooo! I gotta maintain my french image!
I'm making an exception for my ambiguously-korean brother, brent, just this once; but please peeps, do not invite me to any more SAUSAGE FESTS!
I hate peaches; especially the ugly ones I hang out with.
galpal: I don't know how to keep certain people from seeing pics that I'm tagged in? I think it's in the HELP section.
anh: just delete those peeps. haa
I hate you, heather. you're so ugly.
120204
MICHAEL JACKSON has made KPOP possible. love the guy. he's the KING, peaches!
with other music videos, I have to watch them on mute; but when it comes to MICHAEL JACKSON's, my mom allows me to blast the volume! BAHAHAA
my nephew is attending MICHAEL JACKSON 101
why is there ALWAYS a stray sock?!
anh: look, don... i'mma get the xbox ready. while you're free, can you fold my panties for me?
anh: haa you're like captain kirk, the outdated version!
don: what? he's never outdated!
anh: yeah, he's dated.
(as waiter sets the pizzookie dessert down for anh and don to share)
waiter: (in a discreet tone) gaaaay...
some peeps I know I will never get to see again, or at all, and i'm totally fine with that cuz not everyone can be cast in my show!
gave my 10 year-old neighbor $5 for the $1 lemonade at her stand which i did not even bother to take. love her work ethic! she deserved it. I should've bought everything! haa
rosa: DISNEYLAND... the happiest place on earth!
anh: no, the happiest place on earth is in my pants.
SUPERBOWL PARTY... I don't get it. Zzzzzz... the only reason I'm here is brent; frakkin' white boy eye-candy.
this football game gives me a reason to actually catch up on porn.
anh: i tend to socialize with peeps like david cook and hai nghe who don't give a sh*t about football.
don: wait, your favorite ugly monkey, emily, watches football!
anh: who's emily?
120206
wow, I find so many uses for electrical tapes; not just for S&M!
brent: thank-you for taking care of my guests. you are a good host!
anh: I take care of others' party guests while I'm still sober to do so. haa
lemme rub it in your faces... i'm loving my monday!
I rarely say hi to duh boss cuz I never know his mood. no frakkin' ass kissing here either.
you cannot spell TEAM without ME! haa waittaminit...
can I go home to shop online? we're blocked from AMAZON at work.
anh: what's up with the cheap rolls of paper towels?! the paper is thinner than tissues!
coworker: yeah, they use 'em as tampons.
anh: yeah, this cheap paper does not absorb water; water absorbs IT!
sorry, I just burped; that wasn't lady-like.
why does jenn have to be ugly AND korean?!
don: hey, how do you say JERK in french?
anh: JACQUES.
anh: hey, boob! I need you to jumpstart my car!
don: uh... sorry, I really have to go now!
(anh punctures don's shoes with a pocket knife before he can run. like tires, they quickly deflate. don's speed drastically decreases, yet he keeps struggling to slowly get away)
anh: going... SOMEWHERE?! MUAHAHAA
...
BAHAHA now, why would you have inflatable shoes?!
120207
friends, please do not send me anymore facebook game request; I have an XBOX for crying out loud!
don, your wife is fugly, but that doesn't make her a bad person. wait, she's in my friends list, huh? haa
...
fujie + ugly = fugly
ANH & RYAN... certified facebook wall crashers.
ugly viet marie's wall went kaBOOOOM!
I often say thank-you to the person who's supposed to thank me. whaaat? i'm sure i'm not the only one.
galpal: aww I missed you, anh.
anh: haa thanks, I have that effect on people.
"take take, but you never give" BRUNO MARS
...
good riddance, kitty.
whatever happens in vegas... ends up on anh's wall.
galpal: You are good at a lot of things.
anh: I never knew I'd have this many talents.
that BANG BUS event should be interesting.
...
rosa: what's "banging"?
marie: ...
don is right; I shouldn't discriminate and hang out with boring squares like RICH too.
anh: if they use you for money, use them for sex.
don: isn't that prostitution?
anh: oooh... you might be onto something here.
anh: i'm glad I have a galpal who doesn't bring sausages to every event!
abby: just eggs. LOL
120208
they should stop hiring. too many peeps on the road!
to anyone who's ever owned or still owns a hummer, whatta hell were you thinking?! BAHAHA not everything big is better! ask don about his double-patty burger wallet! hoarding receipts and coupons he's NEVER use!
jong: anh, are you familiar with that color?
anh: which one? they might carry that marker at the art store.
jong: CLITORIS RED.
anh: now, why are you getting me excited?!
you know you have a problem when the usual text you get from them that makes you happy says, "who's this?! if you don't stop, i'mma call the police!".
my best friend told me that ugly jenn is pretty... I don't get it.
kyle: OW! my hair got caught in my zipper!
anh: well, trim it.
kyle: nooo! not my pubic hair!
galpal: why are you so distant with me, anh?
anh: eating...
galpal: you don't need your mouth to text.
anh: no, I text with my mouth.
JOSE CUERVO chocolate tequilas... drinking and working? shhh! it's a sequet!
...
marie: I want some!
anh: that's what she said!
don: did you have feelings for joy?
anh: well, she grew on me.
don: what about manda?
anh: yes, only cuz she was my first.
don: oh, so you ARE capable of LOVE!
...
BAHAHA like I'm made of stone!
marie: are the photos posted online yet?
...
right after I shot her. haa really now, ugly viet? REALLY?!
did I just frakkin' crash facebook with my photo uploads? it hasn't budged!
anh: marie's best angle is the back of her head.
marie: hey, I happen to like that angle!
anh: I like that angle in bed too.
marie: gutter head.
rosa: wait, what? who's giving head?!
120209
MORNIN', PEACHES! feelin' awesome-- no... david AWESOM! blasting SNSD in da car!
HAA is a little long... i'mma shorten it to BAHAHAA ROFLCOPTER!
hey! that looks like my exe's corolla! i'mma go puncture its tires. hope it's the right one.
why am I confirming strangers' requests? oh well, they'll delete me once I invade their wall.
...
anthony: puncture them all just to be sure.
anh: don would come out of the shower and cover his manboobs.
jenn: ..and let his junk hang free? O__o
anh: eww nooo! there's a sock for that.
yes, I know 2NE1 is one awesome badass kpop band, but like many peeps, I've fallen under the spell of those charming girls of SNSD!
my mom always mixes the names CHIME and KITTY together. haa what? she would pronounce CHIME like JIMMY. BAHAHA
calvin: do you know a lot of people?
anh: well, uh... ask INCHEONWON. I believe so. haa
120210
you mean, there's an upside to having guy friends too? i'll consider that.
jocelyn: you seem to have a lot of ugly girls. are you a pimp?
...
BAHAHA good question, ugly!
david awesom: where do you live anyway? we just think you live at INCHEONWON kbbq!
anh: BAHAHA word.
david: I think I saw a toothbrush in the men's restroom last time!
anh: and peeps keep using my towels. fcuk!
supervisor: can you only play english music for our mexican coworkers?
anh: that's against my religion.
jocelyn: I wanna go swimming today! who wants to come with me?
anh: hey, would love to, but I'm working for facebook.
jocelyn: LOL no really, do you?
david and steph have stolen my ugly girls. i'm stealing theirs, peaches!
american mainstream music... on the radio! yes, for those who only care for american food; it's like having chicken everyday. bleh...
anh: kyle, come down for some hawaiian if you want!
jong: I like mexican. hehe
anh: me too! haa
haa yes, everybody loves don regardless of his hygiene!
jocelyn said she wanted to go swimming, yet she went ahead with a shower. why, girlie? WHY?!
I have a 30 GB hard drive for 100's of albums in my car; why would I wanna listen to repetitive crappy radio?
my mexican coworker left me these yummy mochi coconut rice cakes! whaaat? I wonder if he could roll sushi too.
damnit, jocelyn is pregnant! I missed her by a few months!
everyone left the office with just me doing overtime... time to pump up some jams and PARTY NAKED!
anh: friends tell me i'm only an asshole online.
jocelyn: friends tell me i'm an asshole all the time.
I would let my nephew pick out a girl for me, but he likes every girl! perhaps my dog is better at it; he chewed up my last girl's flip-flops. haa that should've been a red flag!
120211
sorry if I hardly get to your posts! i'm swamped with answering my own!
I shoot like 95% of the photos; sometimes you don't even see me in some events cuz I forget to include myself.
girl: what's wrong with your phone?!
guy: your number is not in it!
120213
jose: BAHAHAA!
anh: monday isn't funny, jose!
jose: oh, sorry you're right.
valentine's day is also another excuse for slackers to do/give something for their significant other.
j'peux utiliser mon language d'enfance avec elle defois. j'suis heureux.
anh: heather's still ugly
david awesom: APOLOGIZE!
anh: i'm sorry that heather's still ugly.
Like + Unlike = DISLIKE
anh: is it that hard to comprehend? JEBUS!
david: that's not you spell JESUS!
anh: oh, i'm sorry... heyZEUS!
jocelyn: where are all your other uglies?
anh: in my list and kpop bands.
I have a flair for making peeps feel comfortable; definitely not complaining.
yes, I do enjoy roaches of the sea once in a while; it's not dog meat all the time!
I dunno which part i'm eating, but this lobster is DAVID aweSOM!
jocelyn: eww...
anh: looking into the mirror again?
jocelyn: no, I haven't fixed the last one that shattered yet.
120214
don't use others' words without quoting them, that's cheap; in my case, I give others my words whether or not they said it! haa
...
yuri: fcuk yeah! best believe it!
to all the irresistable uglies... your phone will go kaBOOOM today!
I'm surprised that guys still ask me for advice; my best tip is just to tell that girl how ugly she is.
tell her you really really like her.
...
NIKE says, "just frakkin' do it, boob!"
HAPPY CUPID'S from GIRLS' GENERATION, peaches!
"your relationship is bullsh*t. your man is a prick." DIDDY
...
you know who you are, girlie. i'll always have your back.
anh: it's a MAYBE k? will let you know cuz I might go to BIG BEAR.
galpal: don't go :(
anh: yeah, I might move there. haa
anh: heyheyhey! I know you don't get much love from your wife, but why is your hand in my pants?!
don: your pocket has a hole!
supervisor: management wants you only to play english music. and we can hear you guys laughing from all the way downstairs.
anh: whatta fcuk?! do we have to laugh in english too?
jong: JAJAJAA!
unknown: (answering machine) anh? anh, are you there?
anh: hey, who was that? she sounded hot!
mom: the credit card company.
i'm sure I forgot to text at least one ugly for valentine's.
i'm a PRIVATE person, damnit! wait, is facebook ON?!
omigod, they're forcing me to hit a drinking lounge on a tuesday! I'm frakkin' tired! can we hit a dance club instead?!
i'mma take an hour nap before I can even go out; so please, forward any message to my secretary... DROID.
well, what do you know? I couldn't nap a wink cuz of that dorky girl! ugh...
galpal: I need to pee!
...
the first thing a woman says when coming out of a car no matter how short the ride.
rosa: I never had SEX ON THE BEACH before!
120215
frak. forgot to bring those chocolate tequilas to my girls night out!
heather's boy should marry her already. that ugly is smart and frakkin' hilarious!
the one thing that separates me from him is that I actually respect women. hate me.
don't preach me about god. I don't even believe in the devil.
I AM NUMBER 333
you guys can talk freely about khai; he's been blocked. if anyone tells on you, i'll block them too! haa
there are two kinds of assholes... the one I work for, and the one I enjoy in the bedroom.
anh's status is UNHACKABLE. if it sounds outrageous, he most likely posted it himself!
feeling good! got an awesome galpal and got rid of a pretentious douche!
don't preach me about god. I don't even believe in the devil.
...
nhi: how can you not believe in yourself?
it's a guetto bus when you still have to use your umbrella inside.
LEGSMEN: anh, don, david, stephen... "yes, we're out there!"
"are you ready for some dude or are you ready to be subdued?" JASON MRAZ
...
haa jason, you are a genius at wordplays!
everytime ugly jocelyn saw a PRIUS, she would hit me! you know how many of those dorky cars are out there?! good one, smartsicle!
120216
some peeps have their birthday every week. it's a conspiracy!
she wants to go there, but I really don't. I have someone else in mind... it's not don!
galpal: I just wanna watch a movie with you!
anh: get it on AMAZON.
it's like having an obsessed fan who doesn't know their boundary.
...
david awesom: [screams with high-pitched female voice] AAAAAAH! I LOVE YOU, SON DAMBI!
dambi: oh... god.
anh: duh boss ruins the mood everytime he comes up.
jong: I don't even look at him.
anh: I forgot what he looked like.
this wedding song is heartbreaking... you can feel the sadness in her voice... GEM, I love you.
I switched to earphones so I can rape this song in the office.
some songs are just asking to be raped.
gotta work on my smile. holding a fake one is tiring!
what is up with some peeps' punctuality? you tell them to be at X o'clock, but that's when they leave! whatta fcuk?! value others' time, please!
once a restaurant takes their customers for granted, it's ADIOS MOTHERFOCKERS! and... back to INCHEONWON!
120217
i'll just give my lee's coffee away to make someone at work happy today. then I can sleep. haa
is it friday yet? oh, it is... is it friday night with my peaches yet?
I swear, I can't find a phone fast enough for my facebook posts.
I use the word "boob" cuz "bro" is too long.
the perfect girl doesn't have to be pretty... no, she has to be pretty AND make me laugh.
NOTE TO SELF: do not drink the unknown liquid inside the 8-ball.
"omigod! how do you do that? is that black magic?!"
...
haa the usual reaction I get whenever they see me SWYPE.
jocelyn: some people just have nothing better to do than get angry at others cuz their life sucks... they drink too much HATERADE.
david: you always prefer that creamy stuff in your mouth.
anh: haa like ryan.
ryan: what is wrong with nectar from the gods?
anh: she's on that ghetto bus.
jocelyn: haa who?
anh: that ugly sheep girl, the only asshole I can stand... YOU!
kyle: I cannot draw the same thing again. only when i'm inspired.
anh: yeah, it just comes out when it wants.
kyle: yeah!
anh: like pre-cum.
coworker: weird, my meal is not hot enough.
anh: like all of your exes?
kyle: how come I can't connect to 4G?
anh: dunno. I never had problems finding G-spots.
...
I hate this girl.
kyle: I can imagine you ending up with a korean girl!
anh: haa or one who looks korean!
abby: I cannot be the stereotypical filipino nurse.
anh: yes, you faint at the sight of blood or raspberry wine.
120218
anh: you know, you're the only ex who's mature enough to still talk to me? i appreciate it.
tena: our time as friends was much longer and lots valuable. =D
home alone... I should set up some boobie traps.
watching a bad film more than halfway through is like bad sex... you might as well finish.
120219
marcus: so you love everything korean?
anh: yeah, just about anything. do you know kpop?
marcus: no, what's kpop?
...
DELETE... BAHAHA
chris and brent... I met those two awesome mofos at a random event where I didn't even know anyone. yeah, i'm a party crasher!
anh: hey, what's your drink? is it alcoholic?
madeline: no, i'm 18.
...
haa that never stopped emily!
evil wizard: get away from my virgin!
thadeous: that's not your virgin! that's my brother's virgin! if you wanna fcuk her... you have to fcuk me!
...
YOUR HIGHNESS
don't have so much pride in your own culture cuz there is beauty in others too... unless you're korean; that's the supreme race. BAHAHA
olivia: with all the money you spend at INCHEONWON, you should save it and open your own.
anh: haa GENIUS! i'm posting...
I avoid lazy-ass princesses like the plague. all of my galpals work!
BAHAHA "AMERICAN DAD" is hilarious! such edgy humor; right down my alley!
madeline: You're like a mix of different things. You're fancy, but you're funny and know how to make jokes.
...
thanks a million, girlie!
many depend too much on their exterior and have zero personality; some have neither. haa
anh: hurry! i'm chatting with one eye open!
marie: haa i'm typing with one finger.
anh: what are you doing with the other one?!
frak. no one to wake me in case I over sleep... can one of you girls POKE me in the morning?
120220
marie likes to disagree to gain a wider base of haters.
...
anh: clubbing baby seals is so frakkin' wrong!
marie: I disagree.
jenn: feels like I'm the only one who has to work today.
anh: working is for LOSERS! i'm doing overtime...
jenn: aww i'm not getting overtime today.
anh: i'll give jenn bear hugs!
jenn: YAY! does it come with a teddy bear too?!
anh: it's pretty much me in a bear suit. haa
i'm kinda keeping my distance with this one galpal cuz I really don't wanna mislead her. if I have feelings for you, you'll know... yet again, I enjoy the company of women.
GIRLS' NIGHT OUT, peaches!
...
stephen: is that a new kpop band?!
david: holy fcuk... more leggy hotties?!
I like my galpals ugly and my guyfriends goofy. make me laugh with cleverness and you're in my VIP list.
un-punctual people tend to be un-punctual with answering their phone/texts/messages too?! whatta...
jenn: INCHEONWON? count me in!
anh: jenn is coming! i'm excited!
jenn: YAY! I like coming too! pun intended.
...
BAHAHA haven't laughed this hard since don found out his wife was pregnant... for the 4th time!
RYAN Says the Dumbest Things!
...
coming to a facebook status near you...
ryan: OPPS LOOL stupid auto-correct!
that dreaded corner wall at the table. why is it even there?! if I owned a restaurant, there won't be any wall!
wow, this korean waitress is so tall. I wanna climb her.
anh: kids say the darndest things!
amanda: so does anh.
you get tired; rub your eyes; and wonder where your contacts went.
120221
jocelyn has more personality in her little finger than most girls do. SHARE!
jocelyn: I'm not interesting. lol I'm just hyper.
anh: you're not pretty either, you're ugly.
jocelyn: I hate clowns.
anh: you must hate your own reflection.
I enjoyed playing "crouching monkey, hidden dragon" with my ex.
to those who keep getting lost, buy yourself a frakkin' GPS and USE IT! they're under $100 for crying out loud!
"i then add my special sauce, which is basically bacon fat with vinegar, into my bacon sandwich." | EAT STREET
...
are you frakkin' kidding me?!
let's substitute everything with bacon!
...
crystal: no, need variety!
anh: no, let's have chicken everyday and only date our own kind!
duh boss: "our countries most populous state..."
kyle: it's actually "country's" not "countries".
duh boss: oh no, you can use it either way.
120222
no cursing for 40 days? that's fucking religulous!
ryan: LOOL damb auto codec!
...
BAHAHA I'm still laughing over that! whyan, you RULE!
anh: BAHAHA his comment is so stupid!
kyle: jeeh, I guess you have a life in that phone. nobody ever texts me...
sleepiness is keeping me from facebooking!
jenn: Make a game out of it... see who can shove a whole banana in their mouth-- I meant, who can peel a banana with their feet >=D
anh: I just jizzed! what is wrong with you?!
anh: it's 5pm! have a great drive home!
(5 minutes later)
jenn: Thanks :) im home now ^_^
anh: I hate you.
...
is that even considered a commute?!
i'm so tired of sitting at my desk. can I just squat on my chair like a fob?
madeline: you're very social. you talk to people like they're old friends.
...
oftentimes, I greet new faces with bear hugs and they think i'm already drunk! haa
I usually don't ask for my friends' age; but if they're girls, I do. haa those legal issues!
120223
wasn't late afterall! had to trigger the nitro boost to beat this one driver who won't lemme merge, and clocked in with seconds to spare! MUAHAHAA
ranay: I had this little coconut tree that grew really BIG coconuts!
anh: oh wow! my tiny ex girlfriend grew ginormous ones too! how is that possible?!
roberto: you know any chinese massage places? I wanna be massaged by an asian woman. hehe
anh: oh, you mean those "special" thai frontal massages!
I have music artists I didn't even know I had... like CAKE; is that a white band or an actual cake?
just gave my gay coworker a wholesome bear hug; and he smells so much better than don! pays off to use deodorants and good colognes!
don: isn't it what's inside that counts? looks isn't that important.
don's sister: that's what ugly people say.
yuri (SNSD): psh! yeah, fcuk that!
I have a lower tolerance for boring people now. why should I be bored when I can ROFLCOPTER?
david awesom, I would totally date you if I were gay like stephen. it's their frakkin' loss!
anh: dunno why, my voice is a little scruffy today.
kyle: like your goatie?
anh: it's not a goatie, it's a van dyke.
kyle: as opposed to a real dyke?
(microwaving eggs)
anh: don't explode, don't explode. I don't wanna clean up!
kyle: that's what she said.
jon: PENIS!
joyce: WHERE?!
PHOTOSHOP | I can make an ugly girl even uglier.
"anh gets a new batch of eggs every month."
...
BAHAHA word.
omigod, some peeps are still confused! why would I add some of my galpals in my UGLIES list if they weren't ugly?
120224
I told this one date once, "i think you'd look fine without the makeup", and she got all offended like someone has just pulled her tampon out from underneath the table. whaaat?
"friend" I just confirmed: do I know you?
anh: no, you requested me.
...
haa it's like returning a call and being asked, "what do you want?"
anh: you need some coffee.
jenn: mmm I do need "some" :O
joyce: omigod, don't get me going, jenn.
fannie: let's do someone!
many cannot differentiate koreans from japanese. LAME! ...or cambodians from filipinos. BAHAHA ...or don from an unkept mexican woman.
I don't care where my girls are from; as long as they're ugly, that's all that matters, peaches!
don is often confused for an unkept mexican woman.
don: anh, if you were a woman, I would've married you already.
...
aww BROMANCE! xoxo
posting. from work. with. one eye... open!
120225
can someone give me directions to INCHEONWON? BAHAHA
mike: Hey... easier for me to text u now since I'm tasting everyone.
mike: *texting
ryan: LOOL stupid auto codec!
120226
why is there a frakkin' tiger in my bathroom?!
what? it's impossible to give yourself CPR?
"i just took a sh*t in the middle of the street [in my wedding dress]"
...
BRIDESMAIDS is frakkin' hilarious!
annie: what kind of a name is STOVE?
flight attendant: my name is STEVE.
annie: what are you? an appliance?
flight attendant: no, i'm a man.
annie: whatever.
...
BRIDESMAIDS
anh: I feel like a gay guyfriend listening to you. do I make girls that comfortable?
madeline: YES! I like that though. You're good at listening. Now you just need to be gay.
120227
it's not a genuine kickass party until people get naked!
seriously, my 5G phone is not fast enough for the various tasks I use it for... simultaneously!
leave it to anh to make awkward people even more awkward!
don: if you stop drinking, no one's gonna want to hang with you anymore, focker! especially, david cook... ASS!
anh: is that so? and why is your ass MIA, clown?! nobody is really following your NON-ASS trend, you know?
korean bbq beef ribs, bbq chicken, and bacon mashed potatoes! yes, I do eat semi white food sometimes.
break our very own bartender-buddy STEPHEN ROBERTS open, and small bottles of absinthe will spill out.
HEATHER UYAN makes for a great galpal; she's considerate, selfless... I don't think there's a bad bone in that ugly girl's body!
duh white boss is in dire need to take ESL; his english is subhuman.
120229
a kid on his skateboard on his cell phone. that's so dumb... where's his smartphone?
what? you can only have your birthday every leap year? like that's gonna stop anybody; some peeps celebrate their day every week!
i know my sister's friend better than she does... the power of mingling without the small talks.
nicole tanner is those peeps who work on their laptop... on the beach... on their VACATION! REALLY?!
michelle wu: this place is good! we have to come here more often!
anh: wow, you haven't been here [INCHEONWON] more than 15 minutes, but you already know it's good?
michelle wu: of course!
...
daniel, your kbbq restaurant is AWESOME!
correction... INCHEONWON is not just awesome, it's DAVID AWESOM!
latina: I've never enjoyed burritos, only springrolls. Why is that?
anh: ...
marie: this one guy keeps asking me about my work. what should I tell him?
anh: tell him you night-shift as a ninja.
SWYPING kicks ass! typing is for high schoolers.
jenn: I looked at my news feed and saw all the posts were yours and thought I was on your page...I wasn't. Lol!
anh: haa I fool EVERYONE!
jenn: Lol, it makes my day go faster reading updates ^_^
anh: much less boring! haa
jenn: Now, if everyone posted like u then I would never be bored!
anh: aww at least, someone appreciates my hard work!
mike truong: I appreciate all your work Anh!!!! It helps my day go by better!!!
anh: omigod, I have more than one fan?
120202
anh: if you find goodies on your work desk, it's most likely me! that's how I keep friends cuz I don't have much of a personality. BAHAHA
david awesom: You never leave me shit. I'm gonna go kick your trash bin over into the printer that'll fall through the window and land on your bosses car that's gonna explode and light the side of the building on fire, setting your boss ablaze to run through the office where your boss lays on your desk and all your artworks explode.
?(playing DEAD RISING 2)
sister: wait, i have to fight?!
anh: that's why they call it a "survival game".
sister: it's stressful! so many people, it's like being back in hong kong!
120204
anh: where do you wanna go eat at this hour?
don: dunno... ALERTOS?
anh: no, i don't wanna sit there and get shot.
don: well, i've sat there several times, they missed.
anh: you know filipino natives, like rosa, love eating balut! that's too hardcore!
don: wait, that sounds familiar... isn't that a country?
anh: that's BEIRUT!
GIRLS' GENERATION "paradise in phuket": 6-disc (DVD + photobook)
...
"This product is temporarily out of stock"
...
FCUK!
120206
david cook: I lost interest in football when I lost my football mitt in elementary school. And the football my brother gave me when I was 10 years old got stuck in a tree when I hit it too hard with my football racquet. Anyway, I was terrible at the game. Every goal I tried to make was an airball. It's frustrating, especially when pros like Tiger Woods make it look so easy. Even though I didn't watch the game, I heard that New York won, but I'm not sure if that mean Mets or Yankees.
120207
i'mma stop jumping on the bandwagon and wish happy birthday just cuz facebook told me to. you know i love you!
120208
it's not that i post too much, it's cuz you peeps don't post enough!
making final selections of photos to upload... why is Ratha Marie Ngan sooo ugly?!
making final selections of photos to upload... can i take Nicole Tanner home?!
i still need to shower. ugh... someone's not sleeping much tonight! well, on the other hand, Don will sleep soundly since he NEVER showers!
...
fannie: ewww! STILL? how come you never invite him over to shower at your place!
TWITTER? whatta fcuk is that?
justine: how do your photos look so elegant?
anh: cuz i don't half-ass my work.
marie: which photos are u selecting to post?
anh: i select the ugly ones.
Ratha Marie Ngan's best angle is the back of her head.
who, in their right mind, would take a shower at midnight...?! this chap, right here!
karaokEddy Hao, you are one cool chap for driving David Cook back to his car! i would've just hailed a cab.
joyce: It's no longer facebook, it's anhsbook...
120210
why are you single? there must be something wrong with you.
why are you not married? there must be something wrong with you.
why aren't you having sextuplets? there must be something wrong with you.
when you have a feeling of deja-vu, it really only means that your mind is tired... or a glitch in THE MATRIX.
those peeps who are only cool when they're drunk should STAY DRUNK!
if you can't find me at INCHEONWON, you can find me in its parking lot... making out.
JEBUS! i'm having a JO SHOW MARATHON! Jocelyn Him can really talk!
friends don't let friends add Jocelyn Him if you don't want their phone to EXPLODE!
survey: how do you know your facebook friends?
anh: friends of friends of friends of friends.
...
e.g. Joyce Mojica
survey: How many of those friends do you know in person?
anh: 75%... i actually do meet with at least 50% from my list.
survey: which race should your girlfriend be?
anh: human.
survey: how tall should your girlfriend be?
anh: at least belt level.
here are the flaws from my previous girlfriends. you figure out who's who:
...
gold digger, drama queen, workaholic, lesbian, the devil.
120211
i'm really glad i met Ryan Grotsky! he is another awesome chap! or should i say... CUB! haa
EVERYBODY loves Ryan Grotsky! regardless of his ridiculous typos!
...
ryan: true story, bro.
Nicole Tanner... best one-person audience EVER! if we had more peeps like her, all sitcoms would be a HIT! laugh it off, peaches!
you know you've used too much hairspray when you cannot move your eyebrows.
to those peeps bothering to comment while drunk... you are AWESOME! haa
120212
jocelyn: you keep your car pretty clean for a guy!
anh: well, unlike don, you won't find any fish bone in here!
have to filter/edit/post today's photoshoot tonight?! aww... the things i would do for my uglies.
Jocelyn Him has been officially added to my UGLIES list. she gives INSANELY "breath-taking" bear-hugs like our notorious ugly monkey, Emily Cheng!
120213
well apparently, ryan, nobody can checkout your youtube links cuz we're WORKING!
to the mutual friends i just confirmed... i have no idea who you are. INTRODUCION, POR FAVOR!
david awesom: My name is David. Hi Anhole, nice to meet you!
anh: uh, i think you misspelled ASSHOLE!
jocelyn: did someone call me?
is it wrong for me just to LIKE someone's laughter? i enjoy "hearing" those sooo much! BAHAHAA
yeah, my galpals are just a tad younger than don's daughter.
anh: nonono, ethan (nephew)! you stay away from claire (don's daughter)! older women are BAD for you!
...
she's 10.
120214
jocelyn: why are you having me walk away from traffic?
anh: so i could push you through the restaurant window to avoid a swerving car.
?"you're still beautiful to me." EPIK HIGH
...
to the only ugly I have in mind right now. xoxo
...
jocelyn: which one in your list?
anh: this one!
jocelyn: [runs away]
anh: hey! slow down! my unmarked black van cannot go that fast!
jocelyn: [peddles even faster on tricycle] MUAHAHAA >:D
anh: what an asshole!
120215
chris sicam: ugh... I'm craving Korean BBQ
anh: ugh... i'm craving GIRLS' GENERATION
all filipinos and filipino impostors LOVE korean BBQs! yayYEAH!
all filipinos and filipino impostors LIKE my previous post! yayYEAH!
G.E.M. is truly a gem.
120216
jocelyn is actually not a cocky girl... she's an asshole.
120217
heather: sometimes, i wonder if you're a hamster on cocaine always running in its exercise wheel.
anh: wow, i'm pumping so many posts today! i'm on a roll!
joyce: haa when are you never on a roll?
anonymous: hey, are you still on facebook? i can't see you anymore!
anh: oh! were you following my posts? i didn't know you were active so i deleted you! sorry, i'll add you back!
...
to those GHOST STALKERS who never click on LIKE or comment... BAHAHAA
just took another midnight shower... someone's not sleeping tonight!
anh: i have a feeling i'm addicted to this social network. i get more done here than porn sites! what would i do without FACEBOOK?!
founder: FACEBOOK 2.0
anh: GENIUS!
kristian: so anh, what have you been up to?
anh: isn't my facebook wall practically a journal open to friends? haa
NO! i will not switch to that TIMELINE format! i rather go back to FRIENDSTER! wait, nevermind... not really.
...
crystal: GAH! I wanna switch back to the original format! >:I Its a choice you can't undo!
anh: yeah, i'd have an easier time undoing bras
120218
Don Vu...
"how did you get so dirty?! do you take the earth... and rub it upon your face?" | YOUR HIGHNESS
again... you miss an event, you may miss an opportunity to meet interesting people. i know this all too well; i met sausage lover, Joyce Mojica, this way. so get off your sofa and get out, peaches!
i feel a definite connection with Brent Bacheller. i got your back, ambiguously-korean white guy!
"olivia, your friend is a good photographer."
...
why, thank-you! tough work shootin' uglies!
Genieve Serafica
It's her birthday.
Say Happy Birthday
...
NOOO! what's the point? she's NEVER logged in!
120219
you come to an event, you assume they all know everyone except you; once you leave, they STILL don't know everyone except you. haa
chime: i'm at work right now ):
anh: aww you know you can always chat with me, geek. anytime of the day!
...
I AM FACEBOOK.
chime: thanks, anh. i miss those times where we go party, get drunk. haha oh my :')
anh: BAHAHAA you will get them back.
chime: haa i wish.
anh: your wish is my command! Don Vu's hair SHALL be shaved off!
omigod, some peeps can't even operate a simple point-and-shoot camera; let alone, even know where the shutter button is!
chris: Lol Anh, I didn't see u take this photo!
anh: if i were a sniper, that'd be pretty bad for you, huh?
Madeline Garcia and Chris Sicam are my official cheap dates. yayYEAH!
i'd still take better photos than you with a cheap disposable camera. best believe it!
next time someone asks me what i am, i'mma just let them guess and go with that; i usually get korean, japanese, or asshole.
...
marie: i would have gone with asshole. just my guess.
jocelyn: and i usually get ugly, asshole, or BOTH!
Ratha Marie Ngan Nguyen, are you ugly, pretty ugly, or both?
asian food > american food
...
ryan: true story, bro!
kit: Balut is one of my faves. :P
anh: HELL NOOO! i rather have dog meat in my pho!
you know you should be sleeping when you're chatting with one eye open.
120220
some peeps don't give you the option to UNFOLLOW their posts; it's like a shotgun wedding.
naomi: i can study n then see u guys at ur FINAL DESTINATION.
anh: nice way to end the night there, NAOMI! i don't want it to be the BANG BUS party... to HELL!
Don Vu: don't you ever get sick of INCHEONWON?
anh: don't you ever get sick of DISNEYLAND?
Emily Cheng: what kind of a question is that, DON?! FCUK NOOO! LET'S GOOO!
Fannie Hsieh: LET'S DO SOMEONE!
anh: (looks at sweat shirt) wow, you went there to?!
Lang Lac: yeah!
anh: seems like all the COOL people i know went to CSULB!
Rich Le: didn't Don Vu go there too?
anh: oh, nevermind.
DROID: 010101100 shouldn't you be hitting the sack, master?
anh: no, cuz sleeping is for LOSERS!
is there an auto-correct for auto-correct, ryan?
120224
some girls have more makeup than what Don Vu has to apply for his side-job as a clown.
BRANDON'S STATUS: we all are but ladies more vulnerable to these things that go bump and creek in the night they feel feed , touch and try to manipulate you through or in you;re dreams using you're feelings and bad energy, you can take notice if you focus and feel , learn to hear and sense but none should worry for there is. and we have because we are part of the greater good all mighty light of peace and love and everything more along with nothing more that ever there is or was
...
NOTE TO SELF: do not post while high.
BAHAHAA what the fcuk are you sayin'?!
Jenn Lee, i need you to post/comment again while drunk... complete with hieroglyphic $p3llin6. that one time when you hit the club already plastered was frakkin' hilarious!
120225
"is your hair a mop? go wash it!" | BIRDIE BUDDY (korean series)
...
BAHAHA Don Vu, they actually said this!
120226
i'mma be sober for 40 days.
120227
omigod, i have to stop confirming people i don't know... my friends list was at two digits just last week!
some peeps i never met add me just to see my photos. haa i don't think so! i don't invite you into my place just to browse through my family albums... DELETE DELETE
i gotta regulate friend requests. this is getting ridiculous! alright Don Vu, you're the next one to go!
and don't get me started with peeps who never log in... when they actually do, i ask myself, "who is this? who the fcuk is STEPH BOBS?!". they're just wasting valuable real estate.
MARIE NGAN only dates plastic surgeons. (that's one good looking nose!)
120229
Ryan Grotsky, how are you so smart at being so dumb?!
...
ryan: reverse psychology.
anh: alright then... how are you so dumb at being so smart?!
we definitely need to add Ryan Grotsky to the TEAM KRAZIES VIP list! that spelling-dud cub just cracks me up... effortlessly!
ryan: am two skool for cool! LOOL
i only read mangas and movie subtitles cuz actual books put me to sleep... and i also have immunity to caffeine. haa
CLAMS > SAUSAGES
...
Joyce Mojica/ Bert Cruz (JON): NOOOOOO!
marie: well, i have to agree on this one.
rosa: wait, whaaat? i don't get it.
leave it to my ingeniously dumb jokesters to distract me. i have photos to work on, peaches!
(while commenting)
emily: why did you tag me? i'm right here.
...
BAHAHAA good going, stephen!
remember guys... Fannie Hsieh is a hermit physics nerd, so she's "scurred" of everything! especially, Don Vu coming out of a shower with just a sock on.
...
don: LIES! everyone knows i don't shower!
fannie: you don't have to tell me twice, don. eww...
"Facebook Chat is currently unavailable."
...
well, that's my cue to sleep!
120201
I don't expect GIRLS' GENERATION to get more recognition here. americans are closed minded, and I don't wanna share them anyway! haa
jenn: dirty girls have more fun!
anh: omigod... I love you.
rosa: wait, whaaat? what do you mean by "dirty"?
uh oh, they're sending an HR up to work with us in our art department. I say she's a SPY! I better finish my sandwich fast!
my SKITS have quadrupled in size! thanks, david awesom, steph bobs, and whyan!
accidentally squirted soap all over, so it looks like I just jizzed on myself.
chime and nikko must be from the same top-secret agency... M.I.A.
...
*Mofos *In hiding from *Anh
rich: hey, look! my HTC smartphone is slimmer than your DROID! haa
...
then, he added a fat extended battery. BAHAHA
"you make me feel comfortable, anh"
...
haa i'm always surprised when I hear that!
bottom line is... you're comfortable with yourself, you'll make others comfortable. and both david cook and david awesom know that works wonders!
how is my dog so frakkin' buff? he doesn't even workout...! JEBUS!
120202
anh: I'm sorry, but I have to stay away from toilet humor. I'm not a fob.
fob: what da heo?! (flip-flops away in disgust chewing on his cancer stick while sipping on a heineken)
duh boss is considering having me teach a warehouse employee how to use photoshop at my level which took me years of work and experience to master? is he insane?! does he really think it's like teaching a monkey how to punch in numbers? hell noooo!
anh: I really work at the speed of 10 people. that's why duh boss thinks what I do is easy! ugh...
david awesom: wipe that cocaine off your nose, buddy! haa
anh: with coke, I'd be 10x faster!
your facebook wall is mine.
kyle: oooh... salad dressing!
anh: yeah, I love italian! I should date one.
brent: the french are rude, arrogant, and never bathe.
anh: hey! i'm not arrogant!
anh: hey, raf! where's your office partner?
raffy: oh, lilet went home to get her pack of cigarettes cuz I wouldn't share mine.
anh: isn't her place like an hour away?!
raffy: yes.
...
BAHAHAA sometimes, I give my dialogues to others.
no failed relationship is a waste of time; it's experience... unless it's 8-10 years! BAHAHA boooo!
if you find goodies on your work desk, it's most likely me! that's how I keep friends cuz I don't have much of a personality. BAHAHA
don: hey, guess what I saw! guess what I saw!
anh: what? your life flashing before your eyes?
don: dude, your mom is scary!
anh: haa ALPHA MOM!
don: I thought I was here to play video-games, but i'll only have time to watch you and your sister shower?!
don: (to some dude) how could you be homophobic? that's so ignorant. so... gay!
anh: yeah, he already feels uncomfortable having women touch him.
sister: do you have, uh, THE NOTEBOOK? that anime series?
anh: what? oh... DEATHNOTE!
don: ...
120203
mylene: what does this mean: iBook G4? I'm trying to open my comp but this is what's showing on the screen.
anh: get a PC.
jenn is having girls night with mike and anh! yayYEAH!
nhi: what a horrible week. I deserve a whole damn mess of glow-in-the-dark stars for this!
anh: haa one of my exes stuck a whole constellation above my bed without even asking for my permission!
nhi: cuz only satan wouldn't want stars above their bed.
don: I think you spend more time on Kpop than porn.
anh: damn, you're right!
don: so you're not as much of a pervert as I thought.
anh: nooo! I gotta maintain my french image!
I'm making an exception for my ambiguously-korean brother, brent, just this once; but please peeps, do not invite me to any more SAUSAGE FESTS!
I hate peaches; especially the ugly ones I hang out with.
galpal: I don't know how to keep certain people from seeing pics that I'm tagged in? I think it's in the HELP section.
anh: just delete those peeps. haa
I hate you, heather. you're so ugly.
120204
MICHAEL JACKSON has made KPOP possible. love the guy. he's the KING, peaches!
with other music videos, I have to watch them on mute; but when it comes to MICHAEL JACKSON's, my mom allows me to blast the volume! BAHAHAA
my nephew is attending MICHAEL JACKSON 101
why is there ALWAYS a stray sock?!
anh: look, don... i'mma get the xbox ready. while you're free, can you fold my panties for me?
anh: haa you're like captain kirk, the outdated version!
don: what? he's never outdated!
anh: yeah, he's dated.
(as waiter sets the pizzookie dessert down for anh and don to share)
waiter: (in a discreet tone) gaaaay...
some peeps I know I will never get to see again, or at all, and i'm totally fine with that cuz not everyone can be cast in my show!
gave my 10 year-old neighbor $5 for the $1 lemonade at her stand which i did not even bother to take. love her work ethic! she deserved it. I should've bought everything! haa
rosa: DISNEYLAND... the happiest place on earth!
anh: no, the happiest place on earth is in my pants.
SUPERBOWL PARTY... I don't get it. Zzzzzz... the only reason I'm here is brent; frakkin' white boy eye-candy.
this football game gives me a reason to actually catch up on porn.
anh: i tend to socialize with peeps like david cook and hai nghe who don't give a sh*t about football.
don: wait, your favorite ugly monkey, emily, watches football!
anh: who's emily?
120206
wow, I find so many uses for electrical tapes; not just for S&M!
brent: thank-you for taking care of my guests. you are a good host!
anh: I take care of others' party guests while I'm still sober to do so. haa
lemme rub it in your faces... i'm loving my monday!
I rarely say hi to duh boss cuz I never know his mood. no frakkin' ass kissing here either.
you cannot spell TEAM without ME! haa waittaminit...
can I go home to shop online? we're blocked from AMAZON at work.
anh: what's up with the cheap rolls of paper towels?! the paper is thinner than tissues!
coworker: yeah, they use 'em as tampons.
anh: yeah, this cheap paper does not absorb water; water absorbs IT!
sorry, I just burped; that wasn't lady-like.
why does jenn have to be ugly AND korean?!
don: hey, how do you say JERK in french?
anh: JACQUES.
anh: hey, boob! I need you to jumpstart my car!
don: uh... sorry, I really have to go now!
(anh punctures don's shoes with a pocket knife before he can run. like tires, they quickly deflate. don's speed drastically decreases, yet he keeps struggling to slowly get away)
anh: going... SOMEWHERE?! MUAHAHAA
...
BAHAHA now, why would you have inflatable shoes?!
120207
friends, please do not send me anymore facebook game request; I have an XBOX for crying out loud!
don, your wife is fugly, but that doesn't make her a bad person. wait, she's in my friends list, huh? haa
...
fujie + ugly = fugly
ANH & RYAN... certified facebook wall crashers.
ugly viet marie's wall went kaBOOOOM!
I often say thank-you to the person who's supposed to thank me. whaaat? i'm sure i'm not the only one.
galpal: aww I missed you, anh.
anh: haa thanks, I have that effect on people.
"take take, but you never give" BRUNO MARS
...
good riddance, kitty.
whatever happens in vegas... ends up on anh's wall.
galpal: You are good at a lot of things.
anh: I never knew I'd have this many talents.
that BANG BUS event should be interesting.
...
rosa: what's "banging"?
marie: ...
don is right; I shouldn't discriminate and hang out with boring squares like RICH too.
anh: if they use you for money, use them for sex.
don: isn't that prostitution?
anh: oooh... you might be onto something here.
anh: i'm glad I have a galpal who doesn't bring sausages to every event!
abby: just eggs. LOL
120208
they should stop hiring. too many peeps on the road!
to anyone who's ever owned or still owns a hummer, whatta hell were you thinking?! BAHAHA not everything big is better! ask don about his double-patty burger wallet! hoarding receipts and coupons he's NEVER use!
jong: anh, are you familiar with that color?
anh: which one? they might carry that marker at the art store.
jong: CLITORIS RED.
anh: now, why are you getting me excited?!
you know you have a problem when the usual text you get from them that makes you happy says, "who's this?! if you don't stop, i'mma call the police!".
my best friend told me that ugly jenn is pretty... I don't get it.
kyle: OW! my hair got caught in my zipper!
anh: well, trim it.
kyle: nooo! not my pubic hair!
galpal: why are you so distant with me, anh?
anh: eating...
galpal: you don't need your mouth to text.
anh: no, I text with my mouth.
JOSE CUERVO chocolate tequilas... drinking and working? shhh! it's a sequet!
...
marie: I want some!
anh: that's what she said!
don: did you have feelings for joy?
anh: well, she grew on me.
don: what about manda?
anh: yes, only cuz she was my first.
don: oh, so you ARE capable of LOVE!
...
BAHAHA like I'm made of stone!
marie: are the photos posted online yet?
...
right after I shot her. haa really now, ugly viet? REALLY?!
did I just frakkin' crash facebook with my photo uploads? it hasn't budged!
anh: marie's best angle is the back of her head.
marie: hey, I happen to like that angle!
anh: I like that angle in bed too.
marie: gutter head.
rosa: wait, what? who's giving head?!
120209
MORNIN', PEACHES! feelin' awesome-- no... david AWESOM! blasting SNSD in da car!
HAA is a little long... i'mma shorten it to BAHAHAA ROFLCOPTER!
hey! that looks like my exe's corolla! i'mma go puncture its tires. hope it's the right one.
why am I confirming strangers' requests? oh well, they'll delete me once I invade their wall.
...
anthony: puncture them all just to be sure.
anh: don would come out of the shower and cover his manboobs.
jenn: ..and let his junk hang free? O__o
anh: eww nooo! there's a sock for that.
yes, I know 2NE1 is one awesome badass kpop band, but like many peeps, I've fallen under the spell of those charming girls of SNSD!
my mom always mixes the names CHIME and KITTY together. haa what? she would pronounce CHIME like JIMMY. BAHAHA
calvin: do you know a lot of people?
anh: well, uh... ask INCHEONWON. I believe so. haa
120210
you mean, there's an upside to having guy friends too? i'll consider that.
jocelyn: you seem to have a lot of ugly girls. are you a pimp?
...
BAHAHA good question, ugly!
david awesom: where do you live anyway? we just think you live at INCHEONWON kbbq!
anh: BAHAHA word.
david: I think I saw a toothbrush in the men's restroom last time!
anh: and peeps keep using my towels. fcuk!
supervisor: can you only play english music for our mexican coworkers?
anh: that's against my religion.
jocelyn: I wanna go swimming today! who wants to come with me?
anh: hey, would love to, but I'm working for facebook.
jocelyn: LOL no really, do you?
david and steph have stolen my ugly girls. i'm stealing theirs, peaches!
american mainstream music... on the radio! yes, for those who only care for american food; it's like having chicken everyday. bleh...
anh: kyle, come down for some hawaiian if you want!
jong: I like mexican. hehe
anh: me too! haa
haa yes, everybody loves don regardless of his hygiene!
jocelyn said she wanted to go swimming, yet she went ahead with a shower. why, girlie? WHY?!
I have a 30 GB hard drive for 100's of albums in my car; why would I wanna listen to repetitive crappy radio?
my mexican coworker left me these yummy mochi coconut rice cakes! whaaat? I wonder if he could roll sushi too.
damnit, jocelyn is pregnant! I missed her by a few months!
everyone left the office with just me doing overtime... time to pump up some jams and PARTY NAKED!
anh: friends tell me i'm only an asshole online.
jocelyn: friends tell me i'm an asshole all the time.
I would let my nephew pick out a girl for me, but he likes every girl! perhaps my dog is better at it; he chewed up my last girl's flip-flops. haa that should've been a red flag!
120211
sorry if I hardly get to your posts! i'm swamped with answering my own!
I shoot like 95% of the photos; sometimes you don't even see me in some events cuz I forget to include myself.
girl: what's wrong with your phone?!
guy: your number is not in it!
120213
jose: BAHAHAA!
anh: monday isn't funny, jose!
jose: oh, sorry you're right.
valentine's day is also another excuse for slackers to do/give something for their significant other.
j'peux utiliser mon language d'enfance avec elle defois. j'suis heureux.
anh: heather's still ugly
david awesom: APOLOGIZE!
anh: i'm sorry that heather's still ugly.
Like + Unlike = DISLIKE
anh: is it that hard to comprehend? JEBUS!
david: that's not you spell JESUS!
anh: oh, i'm sorry... heyZEUS!
jocelyn: where are all your other uglies?
anh: in my list and kpop bands.
I have a flair for making peeps feel comfortable; definitely not complaining.
yes, I do enjoy roaches of the sea once in a while; it's not dog meat all the time!
I dunno which part i'm eating, but this lobster is DAVID aweSOM!
jocelyn: eww...
anh: looking into the mirror again?
jocelyn: no, I haven't fixed the last one that shattered yet.
120214
don't use others' words without quoting them, that's cheap; in my case, I give others my words whether or not they said it! haa
...
yuri: fcuk yeah! best believe it!
to all the irresistable uglies... your phone will go kaBOOOM today!
I'm surprised that guys still ask me for advice; my best tip is just to tell that girl how ugly she is.
tell her you really really like her.
...
NIKE says, "just frakkin' do it, boob!"
HAPPY CUPID'S from GIRLS' GENERATION, peaches!
"your relationship is bullsh*t. your man is a prick." DIDDY
...
you know who you are, girlie. i'll always have your back.
anh: it's a MAYBE k? will let you know cuz I might go to BIG BEAR.
galpal: don't go :(
anh: yeah, I might move there. haa
anh: heyheyhey! I know you don't get much love from your wife, but why is your hand in my pants?!
don: your pocket has a hole!
supervisor: management wants you only to play english music. and we can hear you guys laughing from all the way downstairs.
anh: whatta fcuk?! do we have to laugh in english too?
jong: JAJAJAA!
unknown: (answering machine) anh? anh, are you there?
anh: hey, who was that? she sounded hot!
mom: the credit card company.
i'm sure I forgot to text at least one ugly for valentine's.
i'm a PRIVATE person, damnit! wait, is facebook ON?!
omigod, they're forcing me to hit a drinking lounge on a tuesday! I'm frakkin' tired! can we hit a dance club instead?!
i'mma take an hour nap before I can even go out; so please, forward any message to my secretary... DROID.
well, what do you know? I couldn't nap a wink cuz of that dorky girl! ugh...
galpal: I need to pee!
...
the first thing a woman says when coming out of a car no matter how short the ride.
rosa: I never had SEX ON THE BEACH before!
120215
frak. forgot to bring those chocolate tequilas to my girls night out!
heather's boy should marry her already. that ugly is smart and frakkin' hilarious!
the one thing that separates me from him is that I actually respect women. hate me.
don't preach me about god. I don't even believe in the devil.
I AM NUMBER 333
you guys can talk freely about khai; he's been blocked. if anyone tells on you, i'll block them too! haa
there are two kinds of assholes... the one I work for, and the one I enjoy in the bedroom.
anh's status is UNHACKABLE. if it sounds outrageous, he most likely posted it himself!
feeling good! got an awesome galpal and got rid of a pretentious douche!
don't preach me about god. I don't even believe in the devil.
...
nhi: how can you not believe in yourself?
it's a guetto bus when you still have to use your umbrella inside.
LEGSMEN: anh, don, david, stephen... "yes, we're out there!"
"are you ready for some dude or are you ready to be subdued?" JASON MRAZ
...
haa jason, you are a genius at wordplays!
everytime ugly jocelyn saw a PRIUS, she would hit me! you know how many of those dorky cars are out there?! good one, smartsicle!
120216
some peeps have their birthday every week. it's a conspiracy!
she wants to go there, but I really don't. I have someone else in mind... it's not don!
galpal: I just wanna watch a movie with you!
anh: get it on AMAZON.
it's like having an obsessed fan who doesn't know their boundary.
...
david awesom: [screams with high-pitched female voice] AAAAAAH! I LOVE YOU, SON DAMBI!
dambi: oh... god.
anh: duh boss ruins the mood everytime he comes up.
jong: I don't even look at him.
anh: I forgot what he looked like.
this wedding song is heartbreaking... you can feel the sadness in her voice... GEM, I love you.
I switched to earphones so I can rape this song in the office.
some songs are just asking to be raped.
gotta work on my smile. holding a fake one is tiring!
what is up with some peeps' punctuality? you tell them to be at X o'clock, but that's when they leave! whatta fcuk?! value others' time, please!
once a restaurant takes their customers for granted, it's ADIOS MOTHERFOCKERS! and... back to INCHEONWON!
120217
i'll just give my lee's coffee away to make someone at work happy today. then I can sleep. haa
is it friday yet? oh, it is... is it friday night with my peaches yet?
I swear, I can't find a phone fast enough for my facebook posts.
I use the word "boob" cuz "bro" is too long.
the perfect girl doesn't have to be pretty... no, she has to be pretty AND make me laugh.
NOTE TO SELF: do not drink the unknown liquid inside the 8-ball.
"omigod! how do you do that? is that black magic?!"
...
haa the usual reaction I get whenever they see me SWYPE.
jocelyn: some people just have nothing better to do than get angry at others cuz their life sucks... they drink too much HATERADE.
david: you always prefer that creamy stuff in your mouth.
anh: haa like ryan.
ryan: what is wrong with nectar from the gods?
anh: she's on that ghetto bus.
jocelyn: haa who?
anh: that ugly sheep girl, the only asshole I can stand... YOU!
kyle: I cannot draw the same thing again. only when i'm inspired.
anh: yeah, it just comes out when it wants.
kyle: yeah!
anh: like pre-cum.
coworker: weird, my meal is not hot enough.
anh: like all of your exes?
kyle: how come I can't connect to 4G?
anh: dunno. I never had problems finding G-spots.
...
I hate this girl.
kyle: I can imagine you ending up with a korean girl!
anh: haa or one who looks korean!
abby: I cannot be the stereotypical filipino nurse.
anh: yes, you faint at the sight of blood or raspberry wine.
120218
anh: you know, you're the only ex who's mature enough to still talk to me? i appreciate it.
tena: our time as friends was much longer and lots valuable. =D
home alone... I should set up some boobie traps.
watching a bad film more than halfway through is like bad sex... you might as well finish.
120219
marcus: so you love everything korean?
anh: yeah, just about anything. do you know kpop?
marcus: no, what's kpop?
...
DELETE... BAHAHA
chris and brent... I met those two awesome mofos at a random event where I didn't even know anyone. yeah, i'm a party crasher!
anh: hey, what's your drink? is it alcoholic?
madeline: no, i'm 18.
...
haa that never stopped emily!
evil wizard: get away from my virgin!
thadeous: that's not your virgin! that's my brother's virgin! if you wanna fcuk her... you have to fcuk me!
...
YOUR HIGHNESS
don't have so much pride in your own culture cuz there is beauty in others too... unless you're korean; that's the supreme race. BAHAHA
olivia: with all the money you spend at INCHEONWON, you should save it and open your own.
anh: haa GENIUS! i'm posting...
I avoid lazy-ass princesses like the plague. all of my galpals work!
BAHAHA "AMERICAN DAD" is hilarious! such edgy humor; right down my alley!
madeline: You're like a mix of different things. You're fancy, but you're funny and know how to make jokes.
...
thanks a million, girlie!
many depend too much on their exterior and have zero personality; some have neither. haa
anh: hurry! i'm chatting with one eye open!
marie: haa i'm typing with one finger.
anh: what are you doing with the other one?!
frak. no one to wake me in case I over sleep... can one of you girls POKE me in the morning?
120220
marie likes to disagree to gain a wider base of haters.
...
anh: clubbing baby seals is so frakkin' wrong!
marie: I disagree.
jenn: feels like I'm the only one who has to work today.
anh: working is for LOSERS! i'm doing overtime...
jenn: aww i'm not getting overtime today.
anh: i'll give jenn bear hugs!
jenn: YAY! does it come with a teddy bear too?!
anh: it's pretty much me in a bear suit. haa
i'm kinda keeping my distance with this one galpal cuz I really don't wanna mislead her. if I have feelings for you, you'll know... yet again, I enjoy the company of women.
GIRLS' NIGHT OUT, peaches!
...
stephen: is that a new kpop band?!
david: holy fcuk... more leggy hotties?!
I like my galpals ugly and my guyfriends goofy. make me laugh with cleverness and you're in my VIP list.
un-punctual people tend to be un-punctual with answering their phone/texts/messages too?! whatta...
jenn: INCHEONWON? count me in!
anh: jenn is coming! i'm excited!
jenn: YAY! I like coming too! pun intended.
...
BAHAHA haven't laughed this hard since don found out his wife was pregnant... for the 4th time!
RYAN Says the Dumbest Things!
...
coming to a facebook status near you...
ryan: OPPS LOOL stupid auto-correct!
that dreaded corner wall at the table. why is it even there?! if I owned a restaurant, there won't be any wall!
wow, this korean waitress is so tall. I wanna climb her.
anh: kids say the darndest things!
amanda: so does anh.
you get tired; rub your eyes; and wonder where your contacts went.
120221
jocelyn has more personality in her little finger than most girls do. SHARE!
jocelyn: I'm not interesting. lol I'm just hyper.
anh: you're not pretty either, you're ugly.
jocelyn: I hate clowns.
anh: you must hate your own reflection.
I enjoyed playing "crouching monkey, hidden dragon" with my ex.
to those who keep getting lost, buy yourself a frakkin' GPS and USE IT! they're under $100 for crying out loud!
"i then add my special sauce, which is basically bacon fat with vinegar, into my bacon sandwich." | EAT STREET
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are you frakkin' kidding me?!
let's substitute everything with bacon!
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crystal: no, need variety!
anh: no, let's have chicken everyday and only date our own kind!
duh boss: "our countries most populous state..."
kyle: it's actually "country's" not "countries".
duh boss: oh no, you can use it either way.
120222
no cursing for 40 days? that's fucking religulous!
ryan: LOOL damb auto codec!
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BAHAHA I'm still laughing over that! whyan, you RULE!
anh: BAHAHA his comment is so stupid!
kyle: jeeh, I guess you have a life in that phone. nobody ever texts me...
sleepiness is keeping me from facebooking!
jenn: Make a game out of it... see who can shove a whole banana in their mouth-- I meant, who can peel a banana with their feet >=D
anh: I just jizzed! what is wrong with you?!
anh: it's 5pm! have a great drive home!
(5 minutes later)
jenn: Thanks :) im home now ^_^
anh: I hate you.
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is that even considered a commute?!
i'm so tired of sitting at my desk. can I just squat on my chair like a fob?
madeline: you're very social. you talk to people like they're old friends.
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oftentimes, I greet new faces with bear hugs and they think i'm already drunk! haa
I usually don't ask for my friends' age; but if they're girls, I do. haa those legal issues!
120223
wasn't late afterall! had to trigger the nitro boost to beat this one driver who won't lemme merge, and clocked in with seconds to spare! MUAHAHAA
ranay: I had this little coconut tree that grew really BIG coconuts!
anh: oh wow! my tiny ex girlfriend grew ginormous ones too! how is that possible?!
roberto: you know any chinese massage places? I wanna be massaged by an asian woman. hehe
anh: oh, you mean those "special" thai frontal massages!
I have music artists I didn't even know I had... like CAKE; is that a white band or an actual cake?
just gave my gay coworker a wholesome bear hug; and he smells so much better than don! pays off to use deodorants and good colognes!
don: isn't it what's inside that counts? looks isn't that important.
don's sister: that's what ugly people say.
yuri (SNSD): psh! yeah, fcuk that!
I have a lower tolerance for boring people now. why should I be bored when I can ROFLCOPTER?
david awesom, I would totally date you if I were gay like stephen. it's their frakkin' loss!
anh: dunno why, my voice is a little scruffy today.
kyle: like your goatie?
anh: it's not a goatie, it's a van dyke.
kyle: as opposed to a real dyke?
(microwaving eggs)
anh: don't explode, don't explode. I don't wanna clean up!
kyle: that's what she said.
jon: PENIS!
joyce: WHERE?!
PHOTOSHOP | I can make an ugly girl even uglier.
"anh gets a new batch of eggs every month."
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BAHAHA word.
omigod, some peeps are still confused! why would I add some of my galpals in my UGLIES list if they weren't ugly?
120224
I told this one date once, "i think you'd look fine without the makeup", and she got all offended like someone has just pulled her tampon out from underneath the table. whaaat?
"friend" I just confirmed: do I know you?
anh: no, you requested me.
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haa it's like returning a call and being asked, "what do you want?"
anh: you need some coffee.
jenn: mmm I do need "some" :O
joyce: omigod, don't get me going, jenn.
fannie: let's do someone!
many cannot differentiate koreans from japanese. LAME! ...or cambodians from filipinos. BAHAHA ...or don from an unkept mexican woman.
I don't care where my girls are from; as long as they're ugly, that's all that matters, peaches!
don is often confused for an unkept mexican woman.
don: anh, if you were a woman, I would've married you already.
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aww BROMANCE! xoxo
posting. from work. with. one eye... open!
120225
can someone give me directions to INCHEONWON? BAHAHA
mike: Hey... easier for me to text u now since I'm tasting everyone.
mike: *texting
ryan: LOOL stupid auto codec!
120226
why is there a frakkin' tiger in my bathroom?!
what? it's impossible to give yourself CPR?
"i just took a sh*t in the middle of the street [in my wedding dress]"
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BRIDESMAIDS is frakkin' hilarious!
annie: what kind of a name is STOVE?
flight attendant: my name is STEVE.
annie: what are you? an appliance?
flight attendant: no, i'm a man.
annie: whatever.
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BRIDESMAIDS
anh: I feel like a gay guyfriend listening to you. do I make girls that comfortable?
madeline: YES! I like that though. You're good at listening. Now you just need to be gay.
120227
it's not a genuine kickass party until people get naked!
seriously, my 5G phone is not fast enough for the various tasks I use it for... simultaneously!
leave it to anh to make awkward people even more awkward!
don: if you stop drinking, no one's gonna want to hang with you anymore, focker! especially, david cook... ASS!
anh: is that so? and why is your ass MIA, clown?! nobody is really following your NON-ASS trend, you know?
korean bbq beef ribs, bbq chicken, and bacon mashed potatoes! yes, I do eat semi white food sometimes.
break our very own bartender-buddy STEPHEN ROBERTS open, and small bottles of absinthe will spill out.
HEATHER UYAN makes for a great galpal; she's considerate, selfless... I don't think there's a bad bone in that ugly girl's body!
duh white boss is in dire need to take ESL; his english is subhuman.
120229
a kid on his skateboard on his cell phone. that's so dumb... where's his smartphone?
what? you can only have your birthday every leap year? like that's gonna stop anybody; some peeps celebrate their day every week!
i know my sister's friend better than she does... the power of mingling without the small talks.
nicole tanner is those peeps who work on their laptop... on the beach... on their VACATION! REALLY?!
michelle wu: this place is good! we have to come here more often!
anh: wow, you haven't been here [INCHEONWON] more than 15 minutes, but you already know it's good?
michelle wu: of course!
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daniel, your kbbq restaurant is AWESOME!
correction... INCHEONWON is not just awesome, it's DAVID AWESOM!
latina: I've never enjoyed burritos, only springrolls. Why is that?
anh: ...
marie: this one guy keeps asking me about my work. what should I tell him?
anh: tell him you night-shift as a ninja.
SWYPING kicks ass! typing is for high schoolers.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
SKITS - JANUARY
120102
those cambodians party so hard, they've practically graduated to BACARDI 152.
how about those peeps who just have to change their facebook name every 5 minutes? i'm already not sure who they are; and they keep making it worst. identity crisis?
20120103
don: i moved from garden grove to huntington beach!
anh: next is beverly hills for you! but you're not the guy who owns a benz; you're the guy who owns a bench.
don: is it on friday?
anh: yeah, but you can be casually early; arrive wednesday, and wait for us.
don: you're definitely harder to understand than pre-math.
Fannie Hsieh... another nerd who enjoys ruining the curve for everybody! her hobbies include collecting cinder block sized physics books. whaaat?
jon: (still in the phillipines) how's everyone doing there?
anh: it's too quiet without jon shouting, "PENIS!".
rashell: gosh ur like mr congeniality, ur too popular!
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well, that's what happens when you welcome everybody with open arms! love you all! xoxo
stephen: Anhjun Lozfen you have like 20,000 updates today.
anh: wait, that's below my average!
120104
almost took out two dumb kids on scooters crossing the off-ramp. that would've been 10 points right there! they really think motorists can see them at night.
anh: Nicole Tanner... the girl with the year-round tan! and yes, she is tanner.
stephen: my bacardi 151 bottle just exploded.
david som: NOOOO!
ryan: bacardi 151 is 151% proof!
stephen: oh... brother.
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BAHAHAA ryan sure knows his alcohol!
like CONAN's show, on my wall, nothing is sacred.
120105
Heather Uyan > beef briskets
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anh: oh fcuk no, he didn't!
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heather: I'm one step up from a cow. A dead one. Go me.
alright, no more invitations! we're booked!
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stephen: i wasn't even invited to my own birthday party. -_-
ryan: LOOL zat missed up!
Ratha Marie Ngan < beef briskets
yes, my vocabulary tends to confuse a hellovalotta peeps.
fell into a power nap, woke up at 3am. OOH RAH!
120106
i'm so used to tossing my phone around (since it has such a tough silicon case) that i threw kyle's phone back at him once it was charged. i hope he didn't take it personally; i was just aiming for his face.
heather is a camwhore like marie too?! so cool...
anh: i prefer to save that moola for an XBOX!
jenn: Yay! Game night
anh: jenn, come over! i'll show you a good time.
jenn: I have a Wii ;)
ryan: did you say WiiWii?! LOOL
stephen: and she's good with the wiimote too! lol
jon: PENIS!
rosa: what's a penis?
marie: i'm embarrassed for you, rosa
i like those announcements that make absolutely no sense:
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Stephen Roberts and his sister Stephanie Roberts are now friends.
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Olivia Oblitas and Oliver Oblitas are now friends.
omigod, girlie! you take so long to reply! try typing with more than 2 fingers!
anh: Ratha Marie Ngan brings all the boys in the yard.
ryan: sausage fest!
joyce: yes, please!
Rosa Ly Oul can fit a slice of pizza in each cheek; now, that's a record! that's our hamster rosasita!
fannie: im trying to cancel my magazine subscription but their website sucks.
anh: there she goes with her porn mags. you can just download those pics you know?
fannie: omgsh as if! HAHAHA
anh: mags are a hassle to hide!
fannie: :((( eww i dont do that!
anh: s'okay, i won't tell.
anh: sooo tired! i'mma take a hiatus from my status, peaches... i hate you all!
jenn: ...thought u'd be able to last all night..guess not. Lol
anh: haa oh no, she didn't! i hate you too, jenn!
jess: what is wrong with your feet? come and see me!
anh: i won't even drive to LA. what makes you think i would walk there?
Jess Nguyen and Jenn Lee should be friends just because they have the same first names.
BATTLEFIELD 3 > MODERN WARFARE 3
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justine: You're doing it wrong.
anh: that's what she said!
120109
asian sausages are more fattening than bacon.
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sandie: Is that for real?
anh: well, they sure taste like they are! look 'em up
brent: i hear asian sausages don't fill you up though
anh: haa dunno. ask a full asian!
stephen: ^ liar
anh: ^ full asian
brent: ^ full asian sausage lover
anh: ^ ambiguously korean italian ass
brent: mmm i love korean sweet buns
anh: mmm nicole tanner...
i'm embarrassed to be seen with my ugly galpals.
marie: crawfish is better than sex.
anh: don't knock it till you try it!
jon: PENIS!
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marie: Hey! I never said that!
brent: I remember her saying that and then giving jon a high five when he said penis.
whoa, it's a little tough to narrow down the guest list... i know everyone on facebook?
(reading captcha code)
omigod... more hieroglyphs? really?! i don't wanna... type that...
someone on face got their alias "Anh!"... beat me to it!
ryan: has your sister visited the US before?
anh: yeah, she's both a french and american citizen.
ryan: give her the total american experience... NASCAR!
anh: BAHAHAA that's for white fobs!
120110
doesn't take much to start a rumor on facebook. they spread like fleas on Don Vu!
120112
mylene: what do you do with the pictures of people you don't wanna remember?
anh: i just delete them.
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haa duh!
no kidding... oftentimes than not, when we have an event, it's a MAD HOUSE!
120114
anh: i'm on a motherfcukin' boat!
jenn: i fcuked a mermaid.
jamie: Jenn, how do u fuck a mermaid? lol
Nicole Tanner looks even hotter in person! whaaat? i just jizzed.
120116
Ratha Marie Ngan Nguyen... so ugly, so viet, and so white!
"no please, don't bring anyone else!"
(another way of saying...)
"i just want you all to myself! hehe"
Ratha Marie Ngan is MIA! white-shadow is probably stressing out over which donut powder to toss at a demanding customer.
Stephen Christopher Roberts, you should make your condo soundproof so nicole and anh can laugh really, really hard! BAHAHAA
i'm very unbiased; so even if two friends don't care for each other, i force them to at gun-point.
anh: i hate you, steph bobs!
stephen: i hate you more! [unfriend]
anh: noooo! you're my ONLY friend!
i seldom use sarcasm, but when i do, it's so frakkin' obvious!
ex: it's not always about you, anh.
anh: what? should i not hang out with others? am i supposed to stay locked up in my room like you, watching youtube tutorial videos on how to apply makeup properly?
120117
anh: i'll hold off on BATMAN: arkham city for you!
don: do you have a choice? you don't even have an xbox.
anh: no, once i get one! i'll only play the game with you!
don: YEAH! we can beat the game together!
anh: actually, i can beat the game twice as fast without your help.
Don Vu is my ho... bo.
anh: i didn't ask david [cook] about KIMERA cuz i rather invite people who actually drink.
don: and *I* drink?!
anh: haa no.
120122
alright, i LIKE all of your posts about chinese new year! jeez, that was much easier.
120123
to all who consistently change their facebook name, you're really making it difficult for your friends to message you! just block the people you're hiding from... or go back to myspace. JEBUS!
120124
no coworker dared to steal my soda. I marked "666" on it.
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david som: Sadly, they probably read it as "GGG". "God's Good Graces!" drink up!
anh: "Girls' Generation Galore"! YEAH!
david som: That sounds even better! Orgasm in a Can!! ?"Girls Generation Galore Cola. Once you pop the top...well, that's it!"
anh: don still owns a dumbphone.
don: you're stupid! what's a dumbphone?
anh: a phone for dumb people!
don: i heard UNDERWORLD is really good!
tram: really? what is it? that sounds familiar...
don: the female character fights--
anh: dolphins under the sea!
tram: oh, really?!
don: noooo! she fights vampires! who would you believe more?!
tram: my brother! his version sounds more interesting!
don: i forgot for a while, but i can totally see the resemblance between you and your stupid brother.
tram: SOJUUU!
(playing BATMAN: arkham city)
tram: what happened to catwoman? she left?
don: yeah, she got tired of your nonsense.
?(playing BATMAN: arkham city)
tram: i'm bored on this tower.
anh: it's a free-roaming game. you can go anywhere you want!
tram: can we go to a party or something? where's INCHEONWON?!
don: tram, you lost points in my book.
(anh showing his photo albums)
tram: whoa! how many albums do you actually have?! don't they limit you to a certain number?!
don: no, anh gave himself UNLIMITED albums to upload... he IS facebook!
anh: why does it smell like wet dog here?
don: oh, it's me.
don: anh posts in one day what most can't even post in a YEAR!
don: hey, do you like buttered popcorn or caramel--
anh: no, kpop.
don: can you transfer all those photos i'm missing from you to my hard drive?
anh: hey, why don't you just get the ones i post online?
don: what?! i'm not gonna download ALL of your 1 billion photos!
anh: no, don't you mean... "1 BILLION... thousand"?
nicole: why is Don's tequila shot full?
anh: he only drinks queer liquid-- i meant, CLEAR liquid... water!
anh has more photo albums than people have friends.
don: why can't you hang out with a few quality people sometimes? does it always have to be with large groups? quantity over quality?
anh: no, i prefer hanging out with quality people in LARGE quantities. haa
120125
stephen: Mattress shopping... -_- When this is all over with, guess what I'm doing?
anh: don't be a princess. sleep on the floor like a real korean!
120126
don: What is your issue, tissue?
anh: the fact that my dog just had his monthly shower; that's more often than you. shhh! no worries, i won't tell Fannie Hsieh!
120128
Angie Sta Cruz is "visiting" from japan, yet her english is even better than Don Vu's! really?!
120129
abby: i like it here better than CHAMSUTGOL!
anh: oh yeah? how long have you been to chamsutgol?
abby: 3 years.
anh: that's 3 years too long!
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CHAM is a sham! INCHEONWON, PEACHES!
after all those briskets at INCHEONW-ANH, i'm now hungry due to all that soju, Michael Meder! you are one awesome mofo!
120130
David AweSom: What's "Valentine's Day" again? I've been single for years ;(
jenn: its known as "S.A.D", not VDay..."Singles Awareness Day".
anh: S.A.D... "Stephen is single, we're Aware Day".
jenn: LOL
anh: ?"David AweSom" spelled backwards is "S.A.D". aww...
jenn: :O
anh: haa don't open your mouth like that, girlie. i'm tempted.
everytime i see Fannie Hsieh's name pop up in the chat column, my immediate reaction is "eww...". BAHAHAA have a good night, ugly monkey!
since a double-negative becomes a positive, would two UNLIKEs become a LIKE?
120131
commenting LOL with your LIKE is LIKE liking it twice. haa
i need to draw Lekhena Anastasia Meas, the girl-with-no-pants-who-takes-showers-with-her-pants-on! oh YEAH!
Neil Reola, NEVER hand over your DSLR camera to a snapshooter (or worst, those who only shoot with phone cams!). they look into the lens to see instead of the viewfinder! assuming they even know what a viewfinder is! ugh...
anh: i had a wet dream about lekhena.
mary: Hahaha are you sure you just had a dream about her?
anh: i should've recorded it! aww
anh: lekhena! shhh! you might wanna watch your language! INCHEONWON is a family place! we have kids here!
lekhena: whaaat? NOOOO! FCUK THAT! we're drinkin' TONIGHT! give me another SOJUUU!
for some reason, the holy water burned when i tried to wash my hands with it.
?Fannie Hsieh is online again... eww
i have posted 210 albums averaging 200 photos each. beat that, peaches!
if you fear the camera, don't hang out with me... i'll get bored.
(don wearing a SUPERMAN shirt)
anh: kneel to ZOD, STUPIDMAN! isn't that what the "S" on your chest stands for?
Sarvy Danesh: no, that stands for "SARVY"... STUPID!
120102
those cambodians party so hard, they've practically graduated to BACARDI 152.
120103
i'm playing christmas songs in the office. "joy to the world..." BAHAHAA mornin', peaches!
"santa claus is coming..."
anh: just imagining nicole tanner in a brazilian bikini made my pants explode.
jenn: eww... need a tissue?
anh: no, s'okay. i'll just have them dry cleaned.
I googled "sexually clueless" and ROSA LY OUL popped up.
I imagined my hobo friend, don, in a brazilian bikini and my glasses exploded.
wow, must be a new year's resolution. some peeps are looking better than they usually do. *cough* marie *cough*
galpal: we should have dinner there. is friday the 13th good for you?
anh: have you listened to yourself?
anh: we're trying out this other restaurant in cerritos.
nicole: I'm down!
anh: all night?
nicole: you wouldn't be able to keep up. lol
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haa yes, like joyce, nicole thinks like a dude!
anh: I had to take that class for the third time; but at least, I'm making friends, huh?
120104
DAVID SOM, your name should be changed to DAVID aweSOM!
for those who don't get me, I'm sorry! it's been nice knowing you! BAHAHAA
forget zumba! david aweSOM hits the rave scene for his cardio, peaches!
I swear, I swyped BOOB and NIKON popped up!
marie nguyen... an ugly viet who gets sooo much attention! I don't get it.
marie ngan... marie nguyen... what's the difference?
anh: just for that compliment, i'm getting you lee's coffee... this friday!
mylene: but i'm not working this friday!
anh: well... too bad!
kyle: hey! we're both having beef stew, but mine has no soup!
anh: wow, isn't that dry?
kyle: yeah, that's why I don't wanna eat mine.
anh: yours is ready to be eaten... in space!
anh: kbbq next friday? nicole is joining!
ryan: haa oh god, briskets.
anh: yes, briskets AND nicole!
ryan: okay, I must not miss this!
my friend's wife looks better in photos than she does in person.
my dog should really consider wearing pants; that thing is just dangling... no shame!
...
pris: maybe his pants exploded!
mass text a dozen friends; the first one to respond to you is practically your one phone call to bail you out from jail. thanks, jenn!
next time someone texts you back, "who's this?", respond with, "GOD."
whoa, I must be using facebook quite a bit; I just looked for the LIKE button at a pornsite.
120105
aweSOM HOLIDAY | he's a bomb defuser needing a getaway... she's a workaholic who just wants to... well, work.
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the ROFLMAO surprise hit of the year!
david awesom: korean is YOUR supreme race since you're obsessed with their toddlers-- I meant, kpop girls!
comically creative peeps like ryan and david awesom are a riot to talk to! never a dull moment.
anh: they restarted his heart with a defibrillatr
anh: *debriefinglator
...
haa I love it when correcting made it worst!
I get away with a lot of comments... cuz I can. haa
I wonder who eats at the lunch table before me; they always leave food stains behind. a sign should be posted, "don't sh*t where you eat!"
may catch spy action film HAYWIRE just to watch my car perform on the big screen!
GIRLS' GENERATION... better than... what competition?! BAHAHAA
95% of my friends, including rosa, are filipinos! that's not right; I need more koreans damnit!
can't stop cracking up over what naomi first asked me:
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"why do you look like that?"
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haa sounded so insulting cuz it came out wrong!
heather > marie
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stephen: oooh... oh no, he didn't!
anh: you need to meet them cambos!
david cook: haa okay, i'll try to make it!
anh: no pressure, but don is joining!
david cook: nevermind then.
rosa: how many people on your end confirmed for dinner?
anh: hundreds... we might need a bigger restaurant.
30 ROCK is sooo stupid; I love it!
woman: I don't date coworkers. nothing personal... it's just policy.
man: I could quit.
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THE OFFICE
hey, are we allowed to post nude art on facebook?
"the day after you say 'i do', she's gonna cut her hair short! they all do!"
heather > lakers < marie
I have so many galpals, I may have to consider having groomsmaids instead.
120106
95% of viets are racists; like marie, the rest of you are a-okay!
I gotta finish editing those S&M christmas party photos for them cambos!
120107
anh: our guest list for that restaurant is getting outta hand. i'm only attending for jon's return.
rosa: yeah, we already have 40 confirmed.
anh: well, hopefully jon and rosa will bail out.
120108
chris: edgar made me curious about KING TACO; now, I wanna try it!
anh: next to my ex, the best mexican I've had.
if I ever get caught kidnapping a kpop girl, please transfer me to a filipino prison.
anh: I love hyuna!
nephew: (mimics wolf's cry) OWWW!
...
BAHAHAA
120109
"suck my cockiness, eat my persuasion." RIHANNA
oh great... I have 2 JENNIFER LEs in my list. I hate being confused; i'mma have to delete one!
"just because I can't kiss back doesn't mean you can't kiss that." RIHANNA
...
haa she speaks my language!
who's more awesome?
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DAVID COOK or DAVID aweSOM
who's more awesome?
...
DON VU or HOBO street performer
google has made everyone a little smarter. if google can't find it, it'll tell you to try yahoo!
basically, the sides for american food are cheese and potatoes... and more cheese!
marie moves so swiftly like a ninja; they call her the white shadow!
my ugly sister will be visiting. can someone show her a good time?
"i can save you from unoriginal dumb-dumbs." MRAZ
I don't like inviting peeps I don't know; INCHEONWON IS SACRED!
rosa: Huh? Incheonwon is your temple?
anh: yes, incheonwon is sacred to many of my followers.
working out a list of who's worthy enough to meet my ugly sister...
120110
having this many friends is overwhelming to keep track of. i'mma have to randomly delete... oh well, it was fun, marie!
anh: jay-z is a terrible rapper!
kyle: but beyonce loves him!
anh: just because she does, that makes him a good one?
anh: TWIX!
naomi: rain
marie: clams!
ryan: LOOL
pris: I broke into my house just to find out my front door wasn't even locked!
anh: BAHAHAA ROFLCOPTER I hate you, prius!
pris: I ran out of gas while illegally parked.
...
BAHAHAA how do you do it, woman?!
jess: could you please give me your mailing address?
anh: finally gonna mail yourself? mmm
carne asada burrito, peaches!
...
kyle: what's that drink? (sangria senorial)
anh: blood.
can't wait to try snake meat with rosa... NOT!
kyle: mike legaspi is an old man stuck in a young man's body.
anh: haa what does that make rich le? he's a child stuck in an old man's body?
kyle: no, an infant! haa
RICH LE... the most interesting man-child in the world.
DOG HAUS best of the wurst
...
one really clever restaurant name!
BROMANCE
...
from the producers of "i love you, man!"
starring: stephen roberts and anhjun lozfen
cameo by: aaron guan
don: fujie kinda likes me, but I don't understand why; I mean... look at me!
this moron just made a right turn from the left lane! no fcuking excuse... they're not even asian!
don: wait, you're talking to me while texting?
anh: ...and driving!
rosa: is it okay to come in?
anh: yeah, don't worry. my dog doesn't bite. I'm more afraid of you eating him.
(driving opposite direction in parking lot)
anh: damn asian driver! you're going the wrong way!
abby: oh wait, I am?
anh: watch out for those spikes!
abby: really?! where?!
(tires get punctured) *poof*
no more drinking for me, peaches! peeps always think i'm drunk regardless.
heather: WORK is a different 4-letter word.
120111
GIRLS' GENERATION > wonder girls > tequila
...
BAHAHAA
bryan (IT): what was the error message on your screen before it went blank?
coworker: GAME OVER? I dunno! i don't speak robot!
kyle: my sister was the groom's best man! haa can you believe it?
anh: haa wow! bride: who's she? and why is she looking hotter than me?
kyle: haa they thought she was a ladyboy!
anh: that's one gifted surgeon!
my throat is sore from singing the cranberry's "zombie". thanks, abby!
rosa: i'm glad I met you, anh!
anh: I cannot say the same.
...
haa kidding! love you too, rosarita!
[classic]
don: what's KY jelly?
anh: it's to clean your contacts with... yeah.
alright, enough drinking; more dancing, peaches! angie, you're coming with me!
bryan (IT): what was the error message on your screen before your mac crashed?
anh: "DANGER DANGER, ROBINSONS!"? I dunno! frakkin' alien technology!
why are filipinas like rosa and abby so much fun?
anhjun... aka sojuboy143
120112
anh: so i'll drive you from my place, right?
don: yeah, okay.
anh: david [kook] will just meet us there in cerritos since he's coming from the north; he's north korean.
the hobo with two hoes in different area codes is making an appearance tomorrow!
ryan: I yelped that restaurant, but couldn't find anything! is it GAIDEN BUFFY BBQ?
NINJAS vs VAMPIRES
...
'nuff said
my coworker is blasting THE CRANBERRY's "zombie"! BAHAHAA good times at SHOUT karaoke, abby!
I stopped keeping track. whoever was invited and remembers to show up at a reasonable time, you'll get the good seats; the last ones will have to sit on someones lap.
120113
whoawhoawhoa! woke up with 79 notifications? haa JEBUS!
DAVID aweSOM is like a loud version of a mime.
FRIDAY the 13th... a good day to venture out in the woods with a few friends... at CRYSTAL LAKE.
that restaurant owner will wish they didn't book team KRAZIES 5 tables! WOOHOO!
once you're cool in my book, i'll call you BOOB, but never BOOBS; that's what don has. don't be greedy now.
forget UNDERWORLD awakening... HAYWIRE is the one with the real kickass female protagonist!
DAVID aweSOM has done every kama sutra positions imaginable. he's like a CIRQUE DU SOLEIL performer.
don vu... a face not even a mother can love.
anh: would you drive to el monte for bowling next friday?
david cook: aww I'm not available that day!
anh: no prob, not my event.
david cook: make it your event.
anh: BAHAHAA the KRAZIES can easily hijack ANY event!
(david cook + david awesom) > (don vu + his no-shower policy)
i'm organizing a nude twister event. hope you, conservative american guests, are not shy.
HAYWIRE's gina carano, real life muay thai fighter, can kick UNDERWORLD's kate beckinsale's ass sideways... with an over the head elbow jab.
ryan: I hope gina carano doesn't become a butter face after the fight.
anh: well, she can always get a facelift. marie "nose" a great surgeon.
i'm having trouble sucking the jelly out.
low light wide angle camera... check. 5 tables reserved... check. marie nguyen... aww WHY?! how am I gonna eat facing her now?
we have white people showing up tonight! yayYEAH!
"we just don't give a fcuk" EPIK HIGH
...
work is just another 4-letter word. FRIDAY, PEACHES!
blasian hottie, nicole, is gonna make stephen forget that he came to the restaurant to eat tonight.
whoa, ever since I met them cambos, my skits have quadrupled in size. JEBUS!
"last friday night... yes, we took too many shots... pictures we took last night ended up online. i'm screwed!" KATY PERRY
...
BAHAHAA too much fun tonight
120115
anh: do we have to come in tomorrow? cuz it's martin luther king jr's.
coworker: yeah, you do cuz you're not black!
120116
this $5 bottle will give you 3-4 servings of LEE's coffee! raffy would finish the whole bottle in one sitting though; and I will have a full serving of TAEYEON, please!
I could've sworn I had more filipino than black coworkers; no one has come in today! really funny, guys! would it hurt to leave a white guy a memo?!
galpal: I heard that iphone users have more sex.
anh: I have a DROID! haa waittaminit...
my coworker lost his flash drive. can someone please tell kyle it's not the end of the world? i'm making really good use of it!
I need to hangout with filipinos who look korean; kinda tough since they look more cambodian... yet again, what's the difference?
yes, I have to be anal about who sits with whom at my events; certain peeps requested to be sitted with specific "celebs" whom I made infamous on facebook (such as nicole tanner). just trying to keep people happy, peaches!
I really had to make an effort to move nicole to the right table. everyone wanted a piece of that blasian!
galpal: my friend is sweet!
anh: only when she's not bitchy.
if I find you interesting, i'll make you infamous.
I found a woman taller than pooneh.
next time, remind me to book the whole restaurant! it was a MAD HOUSE!
my car can fit 8 people; 5 to sit, 1 strapped on the roof, and 2 max. in the trunk (1 white girl or 2 asian girls)
feels great to hangout with loud and sociable people! no such thing as a quiet house party with anh... ROSA!
...
rosa: shhh! can you guys keep it down! I don't want us to get kicked out!
anh: whatta pho... BAHAHAA
are you necessarily obligated to invite the person the party is for?
about time I start ordering my xbox replacement! I feel so disconnected with the virtual world!
asians with dreads?! nooo! why?! oh god, eww!
I'm sorry, but bald-headed asian dudes look like buddhist monks; only certain guys (like jon/bert) can sport it!
XBOX GAMERTAGS
...
marie nguyen | whiteshadow
don vu | hobomofo
david som | aweSOM!
stephen roberts | YURIstalker
ryan grotsky | whiteOPPSLOOL
emily cheng | SOJUfcukyeah!
fannie hsieh | fizzixnerdZzzzzz
bert cruz | mynameisreallyJONpleasedonttagme
my facebook alias is ANHJUN, but you can call me INCHEONWON.
INCHEONWON is my OTHER home!
...
emily: FCUK YEAH!
don: you've turned me into a vegetarian.
mary: who's going then?
anh: EVERYONE on facebook!
ARMAGEDDON... one of the dumbest films ever made.
120117
mass message a dozen peeps; the first one to leave the conversation is antisocial. BAHAHAA
I just beat rosa in terms of number of events in one weekend. whaaat?
when I spot an adorable kid, I always think to myself, "i hope he doesn't grow up to be an asshole... or a bitch."
rosa: anh is only an asshole online!
...
BAHAHAA
WORK spelled backwards is FCUK.
I'm feeling inspired to write a spy action thriller. blame it on GIRLS' GENERATION's "hoot" and MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 4!
no matter how many times I cheat on INCHEONWON, I always come back to it... like a girlfriend who gives you incredible sex.
ANH LOVES PEOPLE! but if you've actually managed to piss him off, good going, you're an asshole!
I like those peeps who not only click LIKE, but also bother to comment LOL! haa now, that's participation!
I should've known this CK skin moisturizer would be scented. now, I smell like i bathed in a tub of cologne... expensive!
i'm about. to pass out. from. my own. excessive. use of... COLOGNE! JEBUS!
anh: heyheyhey, you better not be rekindling any friendship with my ex. it's "bros before hos"!
don: but you always consider me your ho!
anh: that's why you're always second!
penny: here, have some coffee!
sheldon: no, coffee is out of the question! before I moved to california, I promised my mother that I wouldn't be doing drugs.
...
THE BIG BANG THEORY
120118
people suspect me to be an undercover INCHEONWON and GIRLS' GENERATION promoter. haa am I really? am I?!
chinese restaurant owner: you no stay 4 hour! this not all day buffet! you eat and go home!
anh: SOJUUU!
anh: bottoms up! bottoms up!
(coworker looks at what anh's drinking)
kyle: ...hey what's in your cup?
anh: another cup.
my ex is equipped with built in DDD airbags.
"enough with all these new girl bands already! they should release more boy bands!"
...
uh... no. BAHAHAA
120119
I dunno about seeing more viets for new year; I rather hangout with filipinos. yeah, that bad!
FRIENDSTER | the social network for the antisocial
mylene: I can hear a korean accent from you.
anh: win.
coworker: aren't you gonna clock in?
anh: go first! I gotta posts!
"i owe you $100, so i'll just treat you to a LEE'S sandwich."
...
uh... no! haa how about those peeps who only pay you back in treats?
i'll have my sister meet other uglies, but there is only ONE emily cheng! aww
SNSD is not just awesome... it's david aweSOM!
I think I enjoy kpop more than porn. wait, whaaat?
...
stephen: yuri [SNSD] SHOULD do porn!
brittany and cassie... the most viet white girls you'll ever meet.
kyle, would you like peanuts for that cough?
I think I enjoy kpop more than porn. wait, whaaat?
...
stephen: yuri [SNSD] SHOULD do porn!
INCHEONWON offers prime-cut grade-A beef briskets... PERIOD
I was told this, but yes... I am practically barney from "how I met your mother"! neil patrick harris is my hero! haa
treating my coworker to lunch cuz it's his last day... this week! haa
TRUTH: gays are more fun than homophobes.
TRUTH: joyce mojica is one friend to the 4th degree that i'm glad I took a chance on; she's so loveable!
they should sign those UPS drivers up for professional racing.
cracks me up when peeps still ask what INCHEONWON is! isn't my wall basically their homepage?
120120
anh: oh, I cannot make a left here.
mylene: no, you don't wanna risk it.
anh: did you say BRISKETS?!
anh: really, what kinda losers work on fridays?!
mylene: us.
ex: i'm analyzing you, anh.
anh: well, so am I.
chime: I miss hanging out with you guys!
anh: you can hangout when you're single.
DOOMSDAY PREPPERS
...
a new show about people living in paranoia. Y2K... 2012... oh nooo! really?!
DAVID aweSOM... our very own LOUD mime with the LED light gloves!
anh: she seemed upset at me.
jenn: just tell her it was a misunderstanding!
anh: do persian girls have periods too?
joking without smileys... the sure fire way to confuse everyone online!
jon: PENIS!
joyce: sausage! mmm
anh: briskets!
jenn: when?!
naomi: rain
heather: delivering... ugh
120121
omigod, my sister is so sick of working 12-hour shifts in hong kong that she's actually up for co-op gaming on the xbox!
anh: I like mari... mari juana!
sister: oh, who is she? haa you gotta introduce me to your friends! haa you have too many!
...
she is a harvard alumni...
anh: don cannot do wednesday; he has AARON (son) to take care of.
sister: well, tell him he can do his ERRANDS another day!
...
again, she IS a harvard alumni.
120122
sister: yeah, we can eat anywhere, but please... no chinese food!
anh: INCHEONWON!
sister: omigod, you guys eat more than the cantonese!
120123
kyle: I've been taking medication for my dry throat. my cough has lessen cuz it's more wet.
anh: wet is ALWAYS good!
jong: did you lose weight, anh?
anh: yeah, not good. gotta gain it back!
can someone tell sarvy she's been disinvited from that event cuz she's persian? but her cousin is invited!
my sister works hard and plays even harder! alright, perhaps not as hard as I do. haa
anonymous: came close to a 13-year old, but I didn't wanna take a chance.
anh: BAHAHAA not even anh would go there!
if she accuses you, there is no proof... unless she swallows.
galpal: your friends are really old-fashioned.
anh: yeah, very amish! especially don... he only listens to the 80's. and rich's only dance move is the robot chicken.
anh: I've invited so many that i'm actually hoping some of you will cancel!
david awesom: not gonna happen, bro! we're team KRAZIES!
emily: FCUK YEAH!
stephen: I didn't get invited... -_-
naomi: rain
I'm mixing Dr PEPPER and FANTA strawberry. MUAHAHAA
sister: you guys always lock everything?!
anh: yeah... unlike hong kong, we have crimes here in huntington beach.
(IN n OUT)
sister: hey, you want some fries?
anh: no, I don't eat when I drive... I drink.
le BIG MAC is not really BIG; they cheat you with thin patties and a frakkin' extra bun in the middle!
120124
chime has a younger sister? how can anyone be younger than chime?! let alone... emily?!
KPOP | converting one communist at a time.
they should have "friends" who interact the most in a top 50 list; and the ugliest girls in a top 10.
DAVID aweSOM is in the TOP-ONE "awesome" list.
DON VU did not make the TOP-10 "ugly" list; unfortunately, he's gorgeous.
no coworker dared to steal my soda. I marked "666" on it.
kyle's favorite bathroom read: PLUMBING magazine.
anh's favorite bathroom read: ...
...
NOTHING! get it done and get out! what are you waiting to do...? #3?!
my dog greets my galpals by humping their leg! haa that's don's job!
sister: so what did you do at work?
anh: I... worked... what did YOU do all day at home? hanging in the hallway, scratching your back against the textured cement wall?
sister: yes.
(anh's sister visiting from hong kong)
don: hey, tram! you want me to take you to a really good chinese restaurant?
tram: i'mma kick your ass!
sister: yeah! don did lose weight! so i'm taller than him now!
sister: so don, how's your wife?
anh: pregnant.
sister: again?!
don: fcuk.
(homemade springrolls for dinner)
anh: lemme roll one for you, don... here, I roll them close to my size.
sister: EWW! I just lost my appetite!
don: oooh! I just gained mine!
jon: PENIS!
(kitchen)
don: is that poop on the floor?
anh: NO! my dog doesn't poop indoors... YOU do!
120125
like beer and don, I only do tequila to make others happy.
they should limit street crossing to 5 seconds.
ugh... always backup! I even have backups of backups!
in france, they get wednesdays off. I should frakkin' move back!
holy... FUDGE PACKERS! they're done fixing my DSLR camera! oh, i'll be shooting uglies alright! yayYEAH!
anthony: you guys are fucking rockstars!
anh: wait, can I fcuk a korean popstar instead?
one of my worst fears:
to yell out one of my exes' name while fornicating.
I'm fine with tattoos on girls as long as it's only on their tongue.
anh: i'mma give my sister a console to take back to hong kong.
don: really? GAMEBOX or XCUBE?
don: how do you keep your car so clean?
anh: two words you're not familiar with... WASH.
120126
TIP: next time your drunk friend offers to pay for more drinks, ask for their cash up front before you end up with the entire bill while they're hurling in your glove compartment.
DON VU... one of those cases where the brother looks like sh*t, but the sister is frakkin' hot! it boggles the mind!
sorry I haven't been able to post for the last 5 minutes, peeps! had to reboot my phone!
can I unsubscribe from my own posts? there're so much to read!
120127
chocolate chip cookies are good, but oatmeal raisin cookies hit my G-spot.
I try to stay away from squares, but I have to make exceptions for peeps like don, fannie, and rich. BAHAHAA
belgian hazelnut chocolate... one of the reasons why i'm european! haa
in response to don's question:
no, I rarely do small group events cuz I actually meet up with half the friends on my list! yes, I tend to put everyone first equally... sue me.
kyle, you want my orange? it's more moist than bryan's.
I'm weary of those who are small-talk, phony nice; but when I meet someone who really is (like joyce, nicole and heather), it's a breath of fresh air!
don: do you remember where KIMERA is?
anh: it's across from the google building! GOOGLE it!
"all the right friends and all the right places" ONErepublic
...
love you all, peaches!
"like an empty hospital, I'm outta patients!" EPIK HIGH
...
let's get this frakkin' party started!
cyrus: greek food is supposed to be the healthiest in the world.
anh: no wonder I hate it.
don: uh... can you roll down the windows? I just... farted.
anh: thank you for your consideration... asshole!
don: I wonder, what if you get sick of facebook? owning a smartphone for you would be pretty pointless, huh?
120128
keira: anh, is the women's restroom clean?
anh: yes, I use it often.
120129
galpal: I seriously miss everything about incheonwon lol my friends have been taking me to the $10-$12 ones and everything was shit.
anh: BAHAHAA incheonwon has grade A brisket cuts!
marie: who's going to CLOUD?
anh: everyone on facebook.
120130
"your friend looks like one of your kpop girls"
...
yayYEAH!
abby: you look good with kids!
anh: oh, really? well, they are legal. BAHAHAA
believe it or not, the real anh is on facebook, peaches!
friends want to hook me up with their relatives. aww I must be doing something right!
yes, rich, it's perfectly alright to finally date your best friend! how long were you gonna keep this private from us, you... ASS!
david: Yeah, she seemed to have a good heart. I hope to see her again at an outing!
keira: LOL he only met me once. I could be evil!
galpal: you and your ex start being civil with each other or else!
anh: no, I cannot with the devil.
anh: wait, so you're half french?!
dude: yeah!
anh: nice! I've been hoping to have someone to use french with! do you speak it?
dude: uh... no.
...
good one. thanks for NOTHING!
120131
if you made the effort to reconnect, I will welcome you back into my world. let's makeup and makeout!
uh oh, you don't know what you got yourself into by requesting me, phu. I'm EXTREMELY active on facebook! your phone will EXPLODE!
I should consider adding my sister, tram, to my UGLIES list.
unknown caller: jerry?
anh: you got the wrong number.
unknown caller: oh, i'm sorry.
anh: don't let it happen again. you just interrupted my status post.
mike: don't comment on anh's statuses if you don't want your phone to EXPLODE! haa
coworker: you guys have small bladders; I don't have to go to the restroom as often as you do!
anh: and this is "coming" from a premature ejaculator!
jalani: why is anh so hilarious?! you made my day, bud!
anh: I try to anger people, but it just backfires.
those cambodians party so hard, they've practically graduated to BACARDI 152.
how about those peeps who just have to change their facebook name every 5 minutes? i'm already not sure who they are; and they keep making it worst. identity crisis?
20120103
don: i moved from garden grove to huntington beach!
anh: next is beverly hills for you! but you're not the guy who owns a benz; you're the guy who owns a bench.
don: is it on friday?
anh: yeah, but you can be casually early; arrive wednesday, and wait for us.
don: you're definitely harder to understand than pre-math.
Fannie Hsieh... another nerd who enjoys ruining the curve for everybody! her hobbies include collecting cinder block sized physics books. whaaat?
jon: (still in the phillipines) how's everyone doing there?
anh: it's too quiet without jon shouting, "PENIS!".
rashell: gosh ur like mr congeniality, ur too popular!
...
well, that's what happens when you welcome everybody with open arms! love you all! xoxo
stephen: Anhjun Lozfen you have like 20,000 updates today.
anh: wait, that's below my average!
120104
almost took out two dumb kids on scooters crossing the off-ramp. that would've been 10 points right there! they really think motorists can see them at night.
anh: Nicole Tanner... the girl with the year-round tan! and yes, she is tanner.
stephen: my bacardi 151 bottle just exploded.
david som: NOOOO!
ryan: bacardi 151 is 151% proof!
stephen: oh... brother.
...
BAHAHAA ryan sure knows his alcohol!
like CONAN's show, on my wall, nothing is sacred.
120105
Heather Uyan > beef briskets
...
anh: oh fcuk no, he didn't!
...
heather: I'm one step up from a cow. A dead one. Go me.
alright, no more invitations! we're booked!
...
stephen: i wasn't even invited to my own birthday party. -_-
ryan: LOOL zat missed up!
Ratha Marie Ngan < beef briskets
yes, my vocabulary tends to confuse a hellovalotta peeps.
fell into a power nap, woke up at 3am. OOH RAH!
120106
i'm so used to tossing my phone around (since it has such a tough silicon case) that i threw kyle's phone back at him once it was charged. i hope he didn't take it personally; i was just aiming for his face.
heather is a camwhore like marie too?! so cool...
anh: i prefer to save that moola for an XBOX!
jenn: Yay! Game night
anh: jenn, come over! i'll show you a good time.
jenn: I have a Wii ;)
ryan: did you say WiiWii?! LOOL
stephen: and she's good with the wiimote too! lol
jon: PENIS!
rosa: what's a penis?
marie: i'm embarrassed for you, rosa
i like those announcements that make absolutely no sense:
...
Stephen Roberts and his sister Stephanie Roberts are now friends.
...
Olivia Oblitas and Oliver Oblitas are now friends.
omigod, girlie! you take so long to reply! try typing with more than 2 fingers!
anh: Ratha Marie Ngan brings all the boys in the yard.
ryan: sausage fest!
joyce: yes, please!
Rosa Ly Oul can fit a slice of pizza in each cheek; now, that's a record! that's our hamster rosasita!
fannie: im trying to cancel my magazine subscription but their website sucks.
anh: there she goes with her porn mags. you can just download those pics you know?
fannie: omgsh as if! HAHAHA
anh: mags are a hassle to hide!
fannie: :((( eww i dont do that!
anh: s'okay, i won't tell.
anh: sooo tired! i'mma take a hiatus from my status, peaches... i hate you all!
jenn: ...thought u'd be able to last all night..guess not. Lol
anh: haa oh no, she didn't! i hate you too, jenn!
jess: what is wrong with your feet? come and see me!
anh: i won't even drive to LA. what makes you think i would walk there?
Jess Nguyen and Jenn Lee should be friends just because they have the same first names.
BATTLEFIELD 3 > MODERN WARFARE 3
...
justine: You're doing it wrong.
anh: that's what she said!
120109
asian sausages are more fattening than bacon.
...
sandie: Is that for real?
anh: well, they sure taste like they are! look 'em up
brent: i hear asian sausages don't fill you up though
anh: haa dunno. ask a full asian!
stephen: ^ liar
anh: ^ full asian
brent: ^ full asian sausage lover
anh: ^ ambiguously korean italian ass
brent: mmm i love korean sweet buns
anh: mmm nicole tanner...
i'm embarrassed to be seen with my ugly galpals.
marie: crawfish is better than sex.
anh: don't knock it till you try it!
jon: PENIS!
...
marie: Hey! I never said that!
brent: I remember her saying that and then giving jon a high five when he said penis.
whoa, it's a little tough to narrow down the guest list... i know everyone on facebook?
(reading captcha code)
omigod... more hieroglyphs? really?! i don't wanna... type that...
someone on face got their alias "Anh!"... beat me to it!
ryan: has your sister visited the US before?
anh: yeah, she's both a french and american citizen.
ryan: give her the total american experience... NASCAR!
anh: BAHAHAA that's for white fobs!
120110
doesn't take much to start a rumor on facebook. they spread like fleas on Don Vu!
120112
mylene: what do you do with the pictures of people you don't wanna remember?
anh: i just delete them.
...
haa duh!
no kidding... oftentimes than not, when we have an event, it's a MAD HOUSE!
120114
anh: i'm on a motherfcukin' boat!
jenn: i fcuked a mermaid.
jamie: Jenn, how do u fuck a mermaid? lol
Nicole Tanner looks even hotter in person! whaaat? i just jizzed.
120116
Ratha Marie Ngan Nguyen... so ugly, so viet, and so white!
"no please, don't bring anyone else!"
(another way of saying...)
"i just want you all to myself! hehe"
Ratha Marie Ngan is MIA! white-shadow is probably stressing out over which donut powder to toss at a demanding customer.
Stephen Christopher Roberts, you should make your condo soundproof so nicole and anh can laugh really, really hard! BAHAHAA
i'm very unbiased; so even if two friends don't care for each other, i force them to at gun-point.
anh: i hate you, steph bobs!
stephen: i hate you more! [unfriend]
anh: noooo! you're my ONLY friend!
i seldom use sarcasm, but when i do, it's so frakkin' obvious!
ex: it's not always about you, anh.
anh: what? should i not hang out with others? am i supposed to stay locked up in my room like you, watching youtube tutorial videos on how to apply makeup properly?
120117
anh: i'll hold off on BATMAN: arkham city for you!
don: do you have a choice? you don't even have an xbox.
anh: no, once i get one! i'll only play the game with you!
don: YEAH! we can beat the game together!
anh: actually, i can beat the game twice as fast without your help.
Don Vu is my ho... bo.
anh: i didn't ask david [cook] about KIMERA cuz i rather invite people who actually drink.
don: and *I* drink?!
anh: haa no.
120122
alright, i LIKE all of your posts about chinese new year! jeez, that was much easier.
120123
to all who consistently change their facebook name, you're really making it difficult for your friends to message you! just block the people you're hiding from... or go back to myspace. JEBUS!
120124
no coworker dared to steal my soda. I marked "666" on it.
...
david som: Sadly, they probably read it as "GGG". "God's Good Graces!" drink up!
anh: "Girls' Generation Galore"! YEAH!
david som: That sounds even better! Orgasm in a Can!! ?"Girls Generation Galore Cola. Once you pop the top...well, that's it!"
anh: don still owns a dumbphone.
don: you're stupid! what's a dumbphone?
anh: a phone for dumb people!
don: i heard UNDERWORLD is really good!
tram: really? what is it? that sounds familiar...
don: the female character fights--
anh: dolphins under the sea!
tram: oh, really?!
don: noooo! she fights vampires! who would you believe more?!
tram: my brother! his version sounds more interesting!
don: i forgot for a while, but i can totally see the resemblance between you and your stupid brother.
tram: SOJUUU!
(playing BATMAN: arkham city)
tram: what happened to catwoman? she left?
don: yeah, she got tired of your nonsense.
?(playing BATMAN: arkham city)
tram: i'm bored on this tower.
anh: it's a free-roaming game. you can go anywhere you want!
tram: can we go to a party or something? where's INCHEONWON?!
don: tram, you lost points in my book.
(anh showing his photo albums)
tram: whoa! how many albums do you actually have?! don't they limit you to a certain number?!
don: no, anh gave himself UNLIMITED albums to upload... he IS facebook!
anh: why does it smell like wet dog here?
don: oh, it's me.
don: anh posts in one day what most can't even post in a YEAR!
don: hey, do you like buttered popcorn or caramel--
anh: no, kpop.
don: can you transfer all those photos i'm missing from you to my hard drive?
anh: hey, why don't you just get the ones i post online?
don: what?! i'm not gonna download ALL of your 1 billion photos!
anh: no, don't you mean... "1 BILLION... thousand"?
nicole: why is Don's tequila shot full?
anh: he only drinks queer liquid-- i meant, CLEAR liquid... water!
anh has more photo albums than people have friends.
don: why can't you hang out with a few quality people sometimes? does it always have to be with large groups? quantity over quality?
anh: no, i prefer hanging out with quality people in LARGE quantities. haa
120125
stephen: Mattress shopping... -_- When this is all over with, guess what I'm doing?
anh: don't be a princess. sleep on the floor like a real korean!
120126
don: What is your issue, tissue?
anh: the fact that my dog just had his monthly shower; that's more often than you. shhh! no worries, i won't tell Fannie Hsieh!
120128
Angie Sta Cruz is "visiting" from japan, yet her english is even better than Don Vu's! really?!
120129
abby: i like it here better than CHAMSUTGOL!
anh: oh yeah? how long have you been to chamsutgol?
abby: 3 years.
anh: that's 3 years too long!
...
CHAM is a sham! INCHEONWON, PEACHES!
after all those briskets at INCHEONW-ANH, i'm now hungry due to all that soju, Michael Meder! you are one awesome mofo!
120130
David AweSom: What's "Valentine's Day" again? I've been single for years ;(
jenn: its known as "S.A.D", not VDay..."Singles Awareness Day".
anh: S.A.D... "Stephen is single, we're Aware Day".
jenn: LOL
anh: ?"David AweSom" spelled backwards is "S.A.D". aww...
jenn: :O
anh: haa don't open your mouth like that, girlie. i'm tempted.
everytime i see Fannie Hsieh's name pop up in the chat column, my immediate reaction is "eww...". BAHAHAA have a good night, ugly monkey!
since a double-negative becomes a positive, would two UNLIKEs become a LIKE?
120131
commenting LOL with your LIKE is LIKE liking it twice. haa
i need to draw Lekhena Anastasia Meas, the girl-with-no-pants-who-takes-showers-with-her-pants-on! oh YEAH!
Neil Reola, NEVER hand over your DSLR camera to a snapshooter (or worst, those who only shoot with phone cams!). they look into the lens to see instead of the viewfinder! assuming they even know what a viewfinder is! ugh...
anh: i had a wet dream about lekhena.
mary: Hahaha are you sure you just had a dream about her?
anh: i should've recorded it! aww
anh: lekhena! shhh! you might wanna watch your language! INCHEONWON is a family place! we have kids here!
lekhena: whaaat? NOOOO! FCUK THAT! we're drinkin' TONIGHT! give me another SOJUUU!
for some reason, the holy water burned when i tried to wash my hands with it.
?Fannie Hsieh is online again... eww
i have posted 210 albums averaging 200 photos each. beat that, peaches!
if you fear the camera, don't hang out with me... i'll get bored.
(don wearing a SUPERMAN shirt)
anh: kneel to ZOD, STUPIDMAN! isn't that what the "S" on your chest stands for?
Sarvy Danesh: no, that stands for "SARVY"... STUPID!
120102
those cambodians party so hard, they've practically graduated to BACARDI 152.
120103
i'm playing christmas songs in the office. "joy to the world..." BAHAHAA mornin', peaches!
"santa claus is coming..."
anh: just imagining nicole tanner in a brazilian bikini made my pants explode.
jenn: eww... need a tissue?
anh: no, s'okay. i'll just have them dry cleaned.
I googled "sexually clueless" and ROSA LY OUL popped up.
I imagined my hobo friend, don, in a brazilian bikini and my glasses exploded.
wow, must be a new year's resolution. some peeps are looking better than they usually do. *cough* marie *cough*
galpal: we should have dinner there. is friday the 13th good for you?
anh: have you listened to yourself?
anh: we're trying out this other restaurant in cerritos.
nicole: I'm down!
anh: all night?
nicole: you wouldn't be able to keep up. lol
...
haa yes, like joyce, nicole thinks like a dude!
anh: I had to take that class for the third time; but at least, I'm making friends, huh?
120104
DAVID SOM, your name should be changed to DAVID aweSOM!
for those who don't get me, I'm sorry! it's been nice knowing you! BAHAHAA
forget zumba! david aweSOM hits the rave scene for his cardio, peaches!
I swear, I swyped BOOB and NIKON popped up!
marie nguyen... an ugly viet who gets sooo much attention! I don't get it.
marie ngan... marie nguyen... what's the difference?
anh: just for that compliment, i'm getting you lee's coffee... this friday!
mylene: but i'm not working this friday!
anh: well... too bad!
kyle: hey! we're both having beef stew, but mine has no soup!
anh: wow, isn't that dry?
kyle: yeah, that's why I don't wanna eat mine.
anh: yours is ready to be eaten... in space!
anh: kbbq next friday? nicole is joining!
ryan: haa oh god, briskets.
anh: yes, briskets AND nicole!
ryan: okay, I must not miss this!
my friend's wife looks better in photos than she does in person.
my dog should really consider wearing pants; that thing is just dangling... no shame!
...
pris: maybe his pants exploded!
mass text a dozen friends; the first one to respond to you is practically your one phone call to bail you out from jail. thanks, jenn!
next time someone texts you back, "who's this?", respond with, "GOD."
whoa, I must be using facebook quite a bit; I just looked for the LIKE button at a pornsite.
120105
aweSOM HOLIDAY | he's a bomb defuser needing a getaway... she's a workaholic who just wants to... well, work.
...
the ROFLMAO surprise hit of the year!
david awesom: korean is YOUR supreme race since you're obsessed with their toddlers-- I meant, kpop girls!
comically creative peeps like ryan and david awesom are a riot to talk to! never a dull moment.
anh: they restarted his heart with a defibrillatr
anh: *debriefinglator
...
haa I love it when correcting made it worst!
I get away with a lot of comments... cuz I can. haa
I wonder who eats at the lunch table before me; they always leave food stains behind. a sign should be posted, "don't sh*t where you eat!"
may catch spy action film HAYWIRE just to watch my car perform on the big screen!
GIRLS' GENERATION... better than... what competition?! BAHAHAA
95% of my friends, including rosa, are filipinos! that's not right; I need more koreans damnit!
can't stop cracking up over what naomi first asked me:
...
"why do you look like that?"
...
haa sounded so insulting cuz it came out wrong!
heather > marie
...
stephen: oooh... oh no, he didn't!
anh: you need to meet them cambos!
david cook: haa okay, i'll try to make it!
anh: no pressure, but don is joining!
david cook: nevermind then.
rosa: how many people on your end confirmed for dinner?
anh: hundreds... we might need a bigger restaurant.
30 ROCK is sooo stupid; I love it!
woman: I don't date coworkers. nothing personal... it's just policy.
man: I could quit.
...
THE OFFICE
hey, are we allowed to post nude art on facebook?
"the day after you say 'i do', she's gonna cut her hair short! they all do!"
heather > lakers < marie
I have so many galpals, I may have to consider having groomsmaids instead.
120106
95% of viets are racists; like marie, the rest of you are a-okay!
I gotta finish editing those S&M christmas party photos for them cambos!
120107
anh: our guest list for that restaurant is getting outta hand. i'm only attending for jon's return.
rosa: yeah, we already have 40 confirmed.
anh: well, hopefully jon and rosa will bail out.
120108
chris: edgar made me curious about KING TACO; now, I wanna try it!
anh: next to my ex, the best mexican I've had.
if I ever get caught kidnapping a kpop girl, please transfer me to a filipino prison.
anh: I love hyuna!
nephew: (mimics wolf's cry) OWWW!
...
BAHAHAA
120109
"suck my cockiness, eat my persuasion." RIHANNA
oh great... I have 2 JENNIFER LEs in my list. I hate being confused; i'mma have to delete one!
"just because I can't kiss back doesn't mean you can't kiss that." RIHANNA
...
haa she speaks my language!
who's more awesome?
...
DAVID COOK or DAVID aweSOM
who's more awesome?
...
DON VU or HOBO street performer
google has made everyone a little smarter. if google can't find it, it'll tell you to try yahoo!
basically, the sides for american food are cheese and potatoes... and more cheese!
marie moves so swiftly like a ninja; they call her the white shadow!
my ugly sister will be visiting. can someone show her a good time?
"i can save you from unoriginal dumb-dumbs." MRAZ
I don't like inviting peeps I don't know; INCHEONWON IS SACRED!
rosa: Huh? Incheonwon is your temple?
anh: yes, incheonwon is sacred to many of my followers.
working out a list of who's worthy enough to meet my ugly sister...
120110
having this many friends is overwhelming to keep track of. i'mma have to randomly delete... oh well, it was fun, marie!
anh: jay-z is a terrible rapper!
kyle: but beyonce loves him!
anh: just because she does, that makes him a good one?
anh: TWIX!
naomi: rain
marie: clams!
ryan: LOOL
pris: I broke into my house just to find out my front door wasn't even locked!
anh: BAHAHAA ROFLCOPTER I hate you, prius!
pris: I ran out of gas while illegally parked.
...
BAHAHAA how do you do it, woman?!
jess: could you please give me your mailing address?
anh: finally gonna mail yourself? mmm
carne asada burrito, peaches!
...
kyle: what's that drink? (sangria senorial)
anh: blood.
can't wait to try snake meat with rosa... NOT!
kyle: mike legaspi is an old man stuck in a young man's body.
anh: haa what does that make rich le? he's a child stuck in an old man's body?
kyle: no, an infant! haa
RICH LE... the most interesting man-child in the world.
DOG HAUS best of the wurst
...
one really clever restaurant name!
BROMANCE
...
from the producers of "i love you, man!"
starring: stephen roberts and anhjun lozfen
cameo by: aaron guan
don: fujie kinda likes me, but I don't understand why; I mean... look at me!
this moron just made a right turn from the left lane! no fcuking excuse... they're not even asian!
don: wait, you're talking to me while texting?
anh: ...and driving!
rosa: is it okay to come in?
anh: yeah, don't worry. my dog doesn't bite. I'm more afraid of you eating him.
(driving opposite direction in parking lot)
anh: damn asian driver! you're going the wrong way!
abby: oh wait, I am?
anh: watch out for those spikes!
abby: really?! where?!
(tires get punctured) *poof*
no more drinking for me, peaches! peeps always think i'm drunk regardless.
heather: WORK is a different 4-letter word.
120111
GIRLS' GENERATION > wonder girls > tequila
...
BAHAHAA
bryan (IT): what was the error message on your screen before it went blank?
coworker: GAME OVER? I dunno! i don't speak robot!
kyle: my sister was the groom's best man! haa can you believe it?
anh: haa wow! bride: who's she? and why is she looking hotter than me?
kyle: haa they thought she was a ladyboy!
anh: that's one gifted surgeon!
my throat is sore from singing the cranberry's "zombie". thanks, abby!
rosa: i'm glad I met you, anh!
anh: I cannot say the same.
...
haa kidding! love you too, rosarita!
[classic]
don: what's KY jelly?
anh: it's to clean your contacts with... yeah.
alright, enough drinking; more dancing, peaches! angie, you're coming with me!
bryan (IT): what was the error message on your screen before your mac crashed?
anh: "DANGER DANGER, ROBINSONS!"? I dunno! frakkin' alien technology!
why are filipinas like rosa and abby so much fun?
anhjun... aka sojuboy143
120112
anh: so i'll drive you from my place, right?
don: yeah, okay.
anh: david [kook] will just meet us there in cerritos since he's coming from the north; he's north korean.
the hobo with two hoes in different area codes is making an appearance tomorrow!
ryan: I yelped that restaurant, but couldn't find anything! is it GAIDEN BUFFY BBQ?
NINJAS vs VAMPIRES
...
'nuff said
my coworker is blasting THE CRANBERRY's "zombie"! BAHAHAA good times at SHOUT karaoke, abby!
I stopped keeping track. whoever was invited and remembers to show up at a reasonable time, you'll get the good seats; the last ones will have to sit on someones lap.
120113
whoawhoawhoa! woke up with 79 notifications? haa JEBUS!
DAVID aweSOM is like a loud version of a mime.
FRIDAY the 13th... a good day to venture out in the woods with a few friends... at CRYSTAL LAKE.
that restaurant owner will wish they didn't book team KRAZIES 5 tables! WOOHOO!
once you're cool in my book, i'll call you BOOB, but never BOOBS; that's what don has. don't be greedy now.
forget UNDERWORLD awakening... HAYWIRE is the one with the real kickass female protagonist!
DAVID aweSOM has done every kama sutra positions imaginable. he's like a CIRQUE DU SOLEIL performer.
don vu... a face not even a mother can love.
anh: would you drive to el monte for bowling next friday?
david cook: aww I'm not available that day!
anh: no prob, not my event.
david cook: make it your event.
anh: BAHAHAA the KRAZIES can easily hijack ANY event!
(david cook + david awesom) > (don vu + his no-shower policy)
i'm organizing a nude twister event. hope you, conservative american guests, are not shy.
HAYWIRE's gina carano, real life muay thai fighter, can kick UNDERWORLD's kate beckinsale's ass sideways... with an over the head elbow jab.
ryan: I hope gina carano doesn't become a butter face after the fight.
anh: well, she can always get a facelift. marie "nose" a great surgeon.
i'm having trouble sucking the jelly out.
low light wide angle camera... check. 5 tables reserved... check. marie nguyen... aww WHY?! how am I gonna eat facing her now?
we have white people showing up tonight! yayYEAH!
"we just don't give a fcuk" EPIK HIGH
...
work is just another 4-letter word. FRIDAY, PEACHES!
blasian hottie, nicole, is gonna make stephen forget that he came to the restaurant to eat tonight.
whoa, ever since I met them cambos, my skits have quadrupled in size. JEBUS!
"last friday night... yes, we took too many shots... pictures we took last night ended up online. i'm screwed!" KATY PERRY
...
BAHAHAA too much fun tonight
120115
anh: do we have to come in tomorrow? cuz it's martin luther king jr's.
coworker: yeah, you do cuz you're not black!
120116
this $5 bottle will give you 3-4 servings of LEE's coffee! raffy would finish the whole bottle in one sitting though; and I will have a full serving of TAEYEON, please!
I could've sworn I had more filipino than black coworkers; no one has come in today! really funny, guys! would it hurt to leave a white guy a memo?!
galpal: I heard that iphone users have more sex.
anh: I have a DROID! haa waittaminit...
my coworker lost his flash drive. can someone please tell kyle it's not the end of the world? i'm making really good use of it!
I need to hangout with filipinos who look korean; kinda tough since they look more cambodian... yet again, what's the difference?
yes, I have to be anal about who sits with whom at my events; certain peeps requested to be sitted with specific "celebs" whom I made infamous on facebook (such as nicole tanner). just trying to keep people happy, peaches!
I really had to make an effort to move nicole to the right table. everyone wanted a piece of that blasian!
galpal: my friend is sweet!
anh: only when she's not bitchy.
if I find you interesting, i'll make you infamous.
I found a woman taller than pooneh.
next time, remind me to book the whole restaurant! it was a MAD HOUSE!
my car can fit 8 people; 5 to sit, 1 strapped on the roof, and 2 max. in the trunk (1 white girl or 2 asian girls)
feels great to hangout with loud and sociable people! no such thing as a quiet house party with anh... ROSA!
...
rosa: shhh! can you guys keep it down! I don't want us to get kicked out!
anh: whatta pho... BAHAHAA
are you necessarily obligated to invite the person the party is for?
about time I start ordering my xbox replacement! I feel so disconnected with the virtual world!
asians with dreads?! nooo! why?! oh god, eww!
I'm sorry, but bald-headed asian dudes look like buddhist monks; only certain guys (like jon/bert) can sport it!
XBOX GAMERTAGS
...
marie nguyen | whiteshadow
don vu | hobomofo
david som | aweSOM!
stephen roberts | YURIstalker
ryan grotsky | whiteOPPSLOOL
emily cheng | SOJUfcukyeah!
fannie hsieh | fizzixnerdZzzzzz
bert cruz | mynameisreallyJONpleasedonttagme
my facebook alias is ANHJUN, but you can call me INCHEONWON.
INCHEONWON is my OTHER home!
...
emily: FCUK YEAH!
don: you've turned me into a vegetarian.
mary: who's going then?
anh: EVERYONE on facebook!
ARMAGEDDON... one of the dumbest films ever made.
120117
mass message a dozen peeps; the first one to leave the conversation is antisocial. BAHAHAA
I just beat rosa in terms of number of events in one weekend. whaaat?
when I spot an adorable kid, I always think to myself, "i hope he doesn't grow up to be an asshole... or a bitch."
rosa: anh is only an asshole online!
...
BAHAHAA
WORK spelled backwards is FCUK.
I'm feeling inspired to write a spy action thriller. blame it on GIRLS' GENERATION's "hoot" and MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 4!
no matter how many times I cheat on INCHEONWON, I always come back to it... like a girlfriend who gives you incredible sex.
ANH LOVES PEOPLE! but if you've actually managed to piss him off, good going, you're an asshole!
I like those peeps who not only click LIKE, but also bother to comment LOL! haa now, that's participation!
I should've known this CK skin moisturizer would be scented. now, I smell like i bathed in a tub of cologne... expensive!
i'm about. to pass out. from. my own. excessive. use of... COLOGNE! JEBUS!
anh: heyheyhey, you better not be rekindling any friendship with my ex. it's "bros before hos"!
don: but you always consider me your ho!
anh: that's why you're always second!
penny: here, have some coffee!
sheldon: no, coffee is out of the question! before I moved to california, I promised my mother that I wouldn't be doing drugs.
...
THE BIG BANG THEORY
120118
people suspect me to be an undercover INCHEONWON and GIRLS' GENERATION promoter. haa am I really? am I?!
chinese restaurant owner: you no stay 4 hour! this not all day buffet! you eat and go home!
anh: SOJUUU!
anh: bottoms up! bottoms up!
(coworker looks at what anh's drinking)
kyle: ...hey what's in your cup?
anh: another cup.
my ex is equipped with built in DDD airbags.
"enough with all these new girl bands already! they should release more boy bands!"
...
uh... no. BAHAHAA
120119
I dunno about seeing more viets for new year; I rather hangout with filipinos. yeah, that bad!
FRIENDSTER | the social network for the antisocial
mylene: I can hear a korean accent from you.
anh: win.
coworker: aren't you gonna clock in?
anh: go first! I gotta posts!
"i owe you $100, so i'll just treat you to a LEE'S sandwich."
...
uh... no! haa how about those peeps who only pay you back in treats?
i'll have my sister meet other uglies, but there is only ONE emily cheng! aww
SNSD is not just awesome... it's david aweSOM!
I think I enjoy kpop more than porn. wait, whaaat?
...
stephen: yuri [SNSD] SHOULD do porn!
brittany and cassie... the most viet white girls you'll ever meet.
kyle, would you like peanuts for that cough?
I think I enjoy kpop more than porn. wait, whaaat?
...
stephen: yuri [SNSD] SHOULD do porn!
INCHEONWON offers prime-cut grade-A beef briskets... PERIOD
I was told this, but yes... I am practically barney from "how I met your mother"! neil patrick harris is my hero! haa
treating my coworker to lunch cuz it's his last day... this week! haa
TRUTH: gays are more fun than homophobes.
TRUTH: joyce mojica is one friend to the 4th degree that i'm glad I took a chance on; she's so loveable!
they should sign those UPS drivers up for professional racing.
cracks me up when peeps still ask what INCHEONWON is! isn't my wall basically their homepage?
120120
anh: oh, I cannot make a left here.
mylene: no, you don't wanna risk it.
anh: did you say BRISKETS?!
anh: really, what kinda losers work on fridays?!
mylene: us.
ex: i'm analyzing you, anh.
anh: well, so am I.
chime: I miss hanging out with you guys!
anh: you can hangout when you're single.
DOOMSDAY PREPPERS
...
a new show about people living in paranoia. Y2K... 2012... oh nooo! really?!
DAVID aweSOM... our very own LOUD mime with the LED light gloves!
anh: she seemed upset at me.
jenn: just tell her it was a misunderstanding!
anh: do persian girls have periods too?
joking without smileys... the sure fire way to confuse everyone online!
jon: PENIS!
joyce: sausage! mmm
anh: briskets!
jenn: when?!
naomi: rain
heather: delivering... ugh
120121
omigod, my sister is so sick of working 12-hour shifts in hong kong that she's actually up for co-op gaming on the xbox!
anh: I like mari... mari juana!
sister: oh, who is she? haa you gotta introduce me to your friends! haa you have too many!
...
she is a harvard alumni...
anh: don cannot do wednesday; he has AARON (son) to take care of.
sister: well, tell him he can do his ERRANDS another day!
...
again, she IS a harvard alumni.
120122
sister: yeah, we can eat anywhere, but please... no chinese food!
anh: INCHEONWON!
sister: omigod, you guys eat more than the cantonese!
120123
kyle: I've been taking medication for my dry throat. my cough has lessen cuz it's more wet.
anh: wet is ALWAYS good!
jong: did you lose weight, anh?
anh: yeah, not good. gotta gain it back!
can someone tell sarvy she's been disinvited from that event cuz she's persian? but her cousin is invited!
my sister works hard and plays even harder! alright, perhaps not as hard as I do. haa
anonymous: came close to a 13-year old, but I didn't wanna take a chance.
anh: BAHAHAA not even anh would go there!
if she accuses you, there is no proof... unless she swallows.
galpal: your friends are really old-fashioned.
anh: yeah, very amish! especially don... he only listens to the 80's. and rich's only dance move is the robot chicken.
anh: I've invited so many that i'm actually hoping some of you will cancel!
david awesom: not gonna happen, bro! we're team KRAZIES!
emily: FCUK YEAH!
stephen: I didn't get invited... -_-
naomi: rain
I'm mixing Dr PEPPER and FANTA strawberry. MUAHAHAA
sister: you guys always lock everything?!
anh: yeah... unlike hong kong, we have crimes here in huntington beach.
(IN n OUT)
sister: hey, you want some fries?
anh: no, I don't eat when I drive... I drink.
le BIG MAC is not really BIG; they cheat you with thin patties and a frakkin' extra bun in the middle!
120124
chime has a younger sister? how can anyone be younger than chime?! let alone... emily?!
KPOP | converting one communist at a time.
they should have "friends" who interact the most in a top 50 list; and the ugliest girls in a top 10.
DAVID aweSOM is in the TOP-ONE "awesome" list.
DON VU did not make the TOP-10 "ugly" list; unfortunately, he's gorgeous.
no coworker dared to steal my soda. I marked "666" on it.
kyle's favorite bathroom read: PLUMBING magazine.
anh's favorite bathroom read: ...
...
NOTHING! get it done and get out! what are you waiting to do...? #3?!
my dog greets my galpals by humping their leg! haa that's don's job!
sister: so what did you do at work?
anh: I... worked... what did YOU do all day at home? hanging in the hallway, scratching your back against the textured cement wall?
sister: yes.
(anh's sister visiting from hong kong)
don: hey, tram! you want me to take you to a really good chinese restaurant?
tram: i'mma kick your ass!
sister: yeah! don did lose weight! so i'm taller than him now!
sister: so don, how's your wife?
anh: pregnant.
sister: again?!
don: fcuk.
(homemade springrolls for dinner)
anh: lemme roll one for you, don... here, I roll them close to my size.
sister: EWW! I just lost my appetite!
don: oooh! I just gained mine!
jon: PENIS!
(kitchen)
don: is that poop on the floor?
anh: NO! my dog doesn't poop indoors... YOU do!
120125
like beer and don, I only do tequila to make others happy.
they should limit street crossing to 5 seconds.
ugh... always backup! I even have backups of backups!
in france, they get wednesdays off. I should frakkin' move back!
holy... FUDGE PACKERS! they're done fixing my DSLR camera! oh, i'll be shooting uglies alright! yayYEAH!
anthony: you guys are fucking rockstars!
anh: wait, can I fcuk a korean popstar instead?
one of my worst fears:
to yell out one of my exes' name while fornicating.
I'm fine with tattoos on girls as long as it's only on their tongue.
anh: i'mma give my sister a console to take back to hong kong.
don: really? GAMEBOX or XCUBE?
don: how do you keep your car so clean?
anh: two words you're not familiar with... WASH.
120126
TIP: next time your drunk friend offers to pay for more drinks, ask for their cash up front before you end up with the entire bill while they're hurling in your glove compartment.
DON VU... one of those cases where the brother looks like sh*t, but the sister is frakkin' hot! it boggles the mind!
sorry I haven't been able to post for the last 5 minutes, peeps! had to reboot my phone!
can I unsubscribe from my own posts? there're so much to read!
120127
chocolate chip cookies are good, but oatmeal raisin cookies hit my G-spot.
I try to stay away from squares, but I have to make exceptions for peeps like don, fannie, and rich. BAHAHAA
belgian hazelnut chocolate... one of the reasons why i'm european! haa
in response to don's question:
no, I rarely do small group events cuz I actually meet up with half the friends on my list! yes, I tend to put everyone first equally... sue me.
kyle, you want my orange? it's more moist than bryan's.
I'm weary of those who are small-talk, phony nice; but when I meet someone who really is (like joyce, nicole and heather), it's a breath of fresh air!
don: do you remember where KIMERA is?
anh: it's across from the google building! GOOGLE it!
"all the right friends and all the right places" ONErepublic
...
love you all, peaches!
"like an empty hospital, I'm outta patients!" EPIK HIGH
...
let's get this frakkin' party started!
cyrus: greek food is supposed to be the healthiest in the world.
anh: no wonder I hate it.
don: uh... can you roll down the windows? I just... farted.
anh: thank you for your consideration... asshole!
don: I wonder, what if you get sick of facebook? owning a smartphone for you would be pretty pointless, huh?
120128
keira: anh, is the women's restroom clean?
anh: yes, I use it often.
120129
galpal: I seriously miss everything about incheonwon lol my friends have been taking me to the $10-$12 ones and everything was shit.
anh: BAHAHAA incheonwon has grade A brisket cuts!
marie: who's going to CLOUD?
anh: everyone on facebook.
120130
"your friend looks like one of your kpop girls"
...
yayYEAH!
abby: you look good with kids!
anh: oh, really? well, they are legal. BAHAHAA
believe it or not, the real anh is on facebook, peaches!
friends want to hook me up with their relatives. aww I must be doing something right!
yes, rich, it's perfectly alright to finally date your best friend! how long were you gonna keep this private from us, you... ASS!
david: Yeah, she seemed to have a good heart. I hope to see her again at an outing!
keira: LOL he only met me once. I could be evil!
galpal: you and your ex start being civil with each other or else!
anh: no, I cannot with the devil.
anh: wait, so you're half french?!
dude: yeah!
anh: nice! I've been hoping to have someone to use french with! do you speak it?
dude: uh... no.
...
good one. thanks for NOTHING!
120131
if you made the effort to reconnect, I will welcome you back into my world. let's makeup and makeout!
uh oh, you don't know what you got yourself into by requesting me, phu. I'm EXTREMELY active on facebook! your phone will EXPLODE!
I should consider adding my sister, tram, to my UGLIES list.
unknown caller: jerry?
anh: you got the wrong number.
unknown caller: oh, i'm sorry.
anh: don't let it happen again. you just interrupted my status post.
mike: don't comment on anh's statuses if you don't want your phone to EXPLODE! haa
coworker: you guys have small bladders; I don't have to go to the restroom as often as you do!
anh: and this is "coming" from a premature ejaculator!
jalani: why is anh so hilarious?! you made my day, bud!
anh: I try to anger people, but it just backfires.
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