SKITS - JANUARY

120102
those cambodians party so hard, they've practically graduated to BACARDI 152.

how about those peeps who just have to change their facebook name every 5 minutes? i'm already not sure who they are; and they keep making it worst. identity crisis?

20120103
don: i moved from garden grove to huntington beach!
anh: next is beverly hills for you! but you're not the guy who owns a benz; you're the guy who owns a bench.

don: is it on friday?
anh: yeah, but you can be casually early; arrive wednesday, and wait for us.

don: you're definitely harder to understand than pre-math.

Fannie Hsieh... another nerd who enjoys ruining the curve for everybody! her hobbies include collecting cinder block sized physics books. whaaat?

jon: (still in the phillipines) how's everyone doing there?
anh: it's too quiet without jon shouting, "PENIS!".

rashell: gosh ur like mr congeniality, ur too popular!
...
well, that's what happens when you welcome everybody with open arms! love you all! xoxo

stephen: Anhjun Lozfen you have like 20,000 updates today.
anh: wait, that's below my average!

120104
almost took out two dumb kids on scooters crossing the off-ramp. that would've been 10 points right there! they really think motorists can see them at night.

anh: Nicole Tanner... the girl with the year-round tan! and yes, she is tanner.
stephen: my bacardi 151 bottle just exploded.
david som: NOOOO!

ryan: bacardi 151 is 151% proof!
stephen: oh... brother.
...
BAHAHAA ryan sure knows his alcohol!

like CONAN's show, on my wall, nothing is sacred.

120105
Heather Uyan > beef briskets
...
anh: oh fcuk no, he didn't!
...
heather: I'm one step up from a cow. A dead one. Go me.

alright, no more invitations! we're booked!
...
stephen: i wasn't even invited to my own birthday party. -_-
ryan: LOOL zat missed up!

Ratha Marie Ngan < beef briskets

yes, my vocabulary tends to confuse a hellovalotta peeps.

fell into a power nap, woke up at 3am. OOH RAH!

120106
i'm so used to tossing my phone around (since it has such a tough silicon case) that i threw kyle's phone back at him once it was charged. i hope he didn't take it personally; i was just aiming for his face.

heather is a camwhore like marie too?! so cool...

anh: i prefer to save that moola for an XBOX!
jenn: Yay! Game night
anh: jenn, come over! i'll show you a good time.
jenn: I have a Wii ;)
ryan: did you say WiiWii?! LOOL
stephen: and she's good with the wiimote too! lol
jon: PENIS!
rosa: what's a penis?
marie: i'm embarrassed for you, rosa

i like those announcements that make absolutely no sense:
...
Stephen Roberts and his sister Stephanie Roberts are now friends.
...
Olivia Oblitas and Oliver Oblitas are now friends.

omigod, girlie! you take so long to reply! try typing with more than 2 fingers!

anh: Ratha Marie Ngan brings all the boys in the yard.
ryan: sausage fest!
joyce: yes, please!

Rosa Ly Oul can fit a slice of pizza in each cheek; now, that's a record! that's our hamster rosasita!

fannie: im trying to cancel my magazine subscription but their website sucks.
anh: there she goes with her porn mags. you can just download those pics you know?
fannie: omgsh as if! HAHAHA
anh: mags are a hassle to hide!
fannie: :((( eww i dont do that!
anh: s'okay, i won't tell.

anh: sooo tired! i'mma take a hiatus from my status, peaches... i hate you all!
jenn: ...thought u'd be able to last all night..guess not. Lol
anh: haa oh no, she didn't! i hate you too, jenn!

jess: what is wrong with your feet? come and see me!
anh: i won't even drive to LA. what makes you think i would walk there?

Jess Nguyen and Jenn Lee should be friends just because they have the same first names.

BATTLEFIELD 3 > MODERN WARFARE 3
...
justine: You're doing it wrong.
anh: that's what she said!

120109
asian sausages are more fattening than bacon.
...
sandie: Is that for real?
anh: well, they sure taste like they are! look 'em up
brent: i hear asian sausages don't fill you up though
anh: haa dunno. ask a full asian!
stephen: ^ liar
anh: ^ full asian
brent: ^ full asian sausage lover
anh: ^ ambiguously korean italian ass
brent: mmm i love korean sweet buns
anh: mmm nicole tanner...

i'm embarrassed to be seen with my ugly galpals.

marie: crawfish is better than sex.
anh: don't knock it till you try it!
jon: PENIS!
...
marie: Hey! I never said that!
brent: I remember her saying that and then giving jon a high five when he said penis.

whoa, it's a little tough to narrow down the guest list... i know everyone on facebook?

(reading captcha code)
omigod... more hieroglyphs? really?! i don't wanna... type that...

someone on face got their alias "Anh!"... beat me to it!

ryan: has your sister visited the US before?
anh: yeah, she's both a french and american citizen.
ryan: give her the total american experience... NASCAR!
anh: BAHAHAA that's for white fobs!

120110
doesn't take much to start a rumor on facebook. they spread like fleas on Don Vu!

120112
mylene: what do you do with the pictures of people you don't wanna remember?
anh: i just delete them.
...
haa duh!

no kidding... oftentimes than not, when we have an event, it's a MAD HOUSE!

120114
anh: i'm on a motherfcukin' boat!
jenn: i fcuked a mermaid.
jamie: Jenn, how do u fuck a mermaid? lol

Nicole Tanner looks even hotter in person! whaaat? i just jizzed.

120116
Ratha Marie Ngan Nguyen... so ugly, so viet, and so white!

"no please, don't bring anyone else!"
(another way of saying...)
"i just want you all to myself! hehe"

Ratha Marie Ngan is MIA! white-shadow is probably stressing out over which donut powder to toss at a demanding customer.

Stephen Christopher Roberts, you should make your condo soundproof so nicole and anh can laugh really, really hard! BAHAHAA

i'm very unbiased; so even if two friends don't care for each other, i force them to at gun-point.

anh: i hate you, steph bobs!
stephen: i hate you more! [unfriend]
anh: noooo! you're my ONLY friend!

i seldom use sarcasm, but when i do, it's so frakkin' obvious!

ex: it's not always about you, anh.
anh: what? should i not hang out with others? am i supposed to stay locked up in my room like you, watching youtube tutorial videos on how to apply makeup properly?

120117
anh: i'll hold off on BATMAN: arkham city for you!
don: do you have a choice? you don't even have an xbox.
anh: no, once i get one! i'll only play the game with you!
don: YEAH! we can beat the game together!
anh: actually, i can beat the game twice as fast without your help.

Don Vu is my ho... bo.

anh: i didn't ask david [cook] about KIMERA cuz i rather invite people who actually drink.
don: and *I* drink?!
anh: haa no.

120122
alright, i LIKE all of your posts about chinese new year! jeez, that was much easier.

120123
to all who consistently change their facebook name, you're really making it difficult for your friends to message you! just block the people you're hiding from... or go back to myspace. JEBUS!

120124
no coworker dared to steal my soda. I marked "666" on it.
...
david som: Sadly, they probably read it as "GGG". "God's Good Graces!" drink up!
anh: "Girls' Generation Galore"! YEAH!
david som: That sounds even better! Orgasm in a Can!! ?"Girls Generation Galore Cola. Once you pop the top...well, that's it!"

anh: don still owns a dumbphone.
don: you're stupid! what's a dumbphone?
anh: a phone for dumb people!

don: i heard UNDERWORLD is really good!
tram: really? what is it? that sounds familiar...
don: the female character fights--
anh: dolphins under the sea!
tram: oh, really?!
don: noooo! she fights vampires! who would you believe more?!
tram: my brother! his version sounds more interesting!

don: i forgot for a while, but i can totally see the resemblance between you and your stupid brother.
tram: SOJUUU!

(playing BATMAN: arkham city)
tram: what happened to catwoman? she left?
don: yeah, she got tired of your nonsense.

?(playing BATMAN: arkham city)
tram: i'm bored on this tower.
anh: it's a free-roaming game. you can go anywhere you want!
tram: can we go to a party or something? where's INCHEONWON?!
don: tram, you lost points in my book.

(anh showing his photo albums)
tram: whoa! how many albums do you actually have?! don't they limit you to a certain number?!
don: no, anh gave himself UNLIMITED albums to upload... he IS facebook!

anh: why does it smell like wet dog here?
don: oh, it's me.

don: anh posts in one day what most can't even post in a YEAR!

don: hey, do you like buttered popcorn or caramel--
anh: no, kpop.

don: can you transfer all those photos i'm missing from you to my hard drive?
anh: hey, why don't you just get the ones i post online?
don: what?! i'm not gonna download ALL of your 1 billion photos!
anh: no, don't you mean... "1 BILLION... thousand"?

nicole: why is Don's tequila shot full?
anh: he only drinks queer liquid-- i meant, CLEAR liquid... water!

anh has more photo albums than people have friends.

don: why can't you hang out with a few quality people sometimes? does it always have to be with large groups? quantity over quality?
anh: no, i prefer hanging out with quality people in LARGE quantities. haa

120125
stephen: Mattress shopping... -_- When this is all over with, guess what I'm doing?
anh: don't be a princess. sleep on the floor like a real korean!

120126
don: What is your issue, tissue?
anh: the fact that my dog just had his monthly shower; that's more often than you. shhh! no worries, i won't tell Fannie Hsieh!

120128
Angie Sta Cruz is "visiting" from japan, yet her english is even better than Don Vu's! really?!

120129
abby: i like it here better than CHAMSUTGOL!
anh: oh yeah? how long have you been to chamsutgol?
abby: 3 years.
anh: that's 3 years too long!
...
CHAM is a sham! INCHEONWON, PEACHES!
after all those briskets at INCHEONW-ANH, i'm now hungry due to all that soju, Michael Meder! you are one awesome mofo!

120130
David AweSom: What's "Valentine's Day" again? I've been single for years ;(
jenn: its known as "S.A.D", not VDay..."Singles Awareness Day".
anh: S.A.D... "Stephen is single, we're Aware Day".
jenn: LOL
anh: ?"David AweSom" spelled backwards is "S.A.D". aww...
jenn: :O
anh: haa don't open your mouth like that, girlie. i'm tempted.

everytime i see Fannie Hsieh's name pop up in the chat column, my immediate reaction is "eww...". BAHAHAA have a good night, ugly monkey!

since a double-negative becomes a positive, would two UNLIKEs become a LIKE?

120131
commenting LOL with your LIKE is LIKE liking it twice. haa

i need to draw Lekhena Anastasia Meas, the girl-with-no-pants-who-takes-showers-with-her-pants-on! oh YEAH!

Neil Reola, NEVER hand over your DSLR camera to a snapshooter (or worst, those who only shoot with phone cams!). they look into the lens to see instead of the viewfinder! assuming they even know what a viewfinder is! ugh...

anh: i had a wet dream about lekhena.
mary: Hahaha are you sure you just had a dream about her?
anh: i should've recorded it! aww

anh: lekhena! shhh! you might wanna watch your language! INCHEONWON is a family place! we have kids here!
lekhena: whaaat? NOOOO! FCUK THAT! we're drinkin' TONIGHT! give me another SOJUUU!

for some reason, the holy water burned when i tried to wash my hands with it.

?Fannie Hsieh is online again... eww

i have posted 210 albums averaging 200 photos each. beat that, peaches!

if you fear the camera, don't hang out with me... i'll get bored.

(don wearing a SUPERMAN shirt)
anh: kneel to ZOD, STUPIDMAN! isn't that what the "S" on your chest stands for?
Sarvy Danesh: no, that stands for "SARVY"... STUPID!

120102
those cambodians party so hard, they've practically graduated to BACARDI 152.

120103
i'm playing christmas songs in the office. "joy to the world..." BAHAHAA mornin', peaches!

"santa claus is coming..."

anh: just imagining nicole tanner in a brazilian bikini made my pants explode.
jenn: eww... need a tissue?
anh: no, s'okay. i'll just have them dry cleaned.

I googled "sexually clueless" and ROSA LY OUL popped up.

I imagined my hobo friend, don, in a brazilian bikini and my glasses exploded.

wow, must be a new year's resolution. some peeps are looking better than they usually do. *cough* marie *cough*

galpal: we should have dinner there. is friday the 13th good for you?
anh: have you listened to yourself?

anh: we're trying out this other restaurant in cerritos.
nicole: I'm down!
anh: all night?
nicole: you wouldn't be able to keep up. lol
...
haa yes, like joyce, nicole thinks like a dude!

anh: I had to take that class for the third time; but at least, I'm making friends, huh?

120104
DAVID SOM, your name should be changed to DAVID aweSOM!

for those who don't get me, I'm sorry! it's been nice knowing you! BAHAHAA

forget zumba! david aweSOM hits the rave scene for his cardio, peaches!

I swear, I swyped BOOB and NIKON popped up!

marie nguyen... an ugly viet who gets sooo much attention! I don't get it.

marie ngan... marie nguyen... what's the difference?

anh: just for that compliment, i'm getting you lee's coffee... this friday!
mylene: but i'm not working this friday!
anh: well... too bad!

kyle: hey! we're both having beef stew, but mine has no soup!
anh: wow, isn't that dry?
kyle: yeah, that's why I don't wanna eat mine.
anh: yours is ready to be eaten... in space!

anh: kbbq next friday? nicole is joining!
ryan: haa oh god, briskets.
anh: yes, briskets AND nicole!
ryan: okay, I must not miss this!

my friend's wife looks better in photos than she does in person.

my dog should really consider wearing pants; that thing is just dangling... no shame!
...
pris: maybe his pants exploded!

mass text a dozen friends; the first one to respond to you is practically your one phone call to bail you out from jail. thanks, jenn!

next time someone texts you back, "who's this?", respond with, "GOD."

whoa, I must be using facebook quite a bit; I just looked for the LIKE button at a pornsite.

120105
aweSOM HOLIDAY | he's a bomb defuser needing a getaway... she's a workaholic who just wants to... well, work.
...
the ROFLMAO surprise hit of the year!

david awesom: korean is YOUR supreme race since you're obsessed with their toddlers-- I meant, kpop girls!

comically creative peeps like ryan and david awesom are a riot to talk to! never a dull moment.

anh: they restarted his heart with a defibrillatr
anh: *debriefinglator
...
haa I love it when correcting made it worst!

I get away with a lot of comments... cuz I can. haa

I wonder who eats at the lunch table before me; they always leave food stains behind. a sign should be posted, "don't sh*t where you eat!"

may catch spy action film HAYWIRE just to watch my car perform on the big screen!

GIRLS' GENERATION... better than... what competition?! BAHAHAA

95% of my friends, including rosa, are filipinos! that's not right; I need more koreans damnit!

can't stop cracking up over what naomi first asked me:
...
"why do you look like that?"
...
haa sounded so insulting cuz it came out wrong!

heather > marie
...
stephen: oooh... oh no, he didn't!

anh: you need to meet them cambos!
david cook: haa okay, i'll try to make it!
anh: no pressure, but don is joining!
david cook: nevermind then.

rosa: how many people on your end confirmed for dinner?
anh: hundreds... we might need a bigger restaurant.

30 ROCK is sooo stupid; I love it!

woman: I don't date coworkers. nothing personal... it's just policy.
man: I could quit.
...
THE OFFICE

hey, are we allowed to post nude art on facebook?

"the day after you say 'i do', she's gonna cut her hair short! they all do!"

heather > lakers < marie

I have so many galpals, I may have to consider having groomsmaids instead.

120106
95% of viets are racists; like marie, the rest of you are a-okay!

I gotta finish editing those S&M christmas party photos for them cambos!

120107
anh: our guest list for that restaurant is getting outta hand. i'm only attending for jon's return.
rosa: yeah, we already have 40 confirmed.
anh: well, hopefully jon and rosa will bail out.

120108
chris: edgar made me curious about KING TACO; now, I wanna try it!
anh: next to my ex, the best mexican I've had.

if I ever get caught kidnapping a kpop girl, please transfer me to a filipino prison.

anh: I love hyuna!
nephew: (mimics wolf's cry) OWWW!
...
BAHAHAA

120109
"suck my cockiness, eat my persuasion." RIHANNA

oh great... I have 2 JENNIFER LEs in my list. I hate being confused; i'mma have to delete one!

"just because I can't kiss back doesn't mean you can't kiss that." RIHANNA
...
haa she speaks my language!

who's more awesome?
...
DAVID COOK or DAVID aweSOM

who's more awesome?
...
DON VU or HOBO street performer

google has made everyone a little smarter. if google can't find it, it'll tell you to try yahoo!

basically, the sides for american food are cheese and potatoes... and more cheese!

marie moves so swiftly like a ninja; they call her the white shadow!

my ugly sister will be visiting. can someone show her a good time?

"i can save you from unoriginal dumb-dumbs." MRAZ

I don't like inviting peeps I don't know; INCHEONWON IS SACRED!

rosa: Huh? Incheonwon is your temple?
anh: yes, incheonwon is sacred to many of my followers.

working out a list of who's worthy enough to meet my ugly sister...

120110
having this many friends is overwhelming to keep track of. i'mma have to randomly delete... oh well, it was fun, marie!

anh: jay-z is a terrible rapper!
kyle: but beyonce loves him!
anh: just because she does, that makes him a good one?

anh: TWIX!
naomi: rain
marie: clams!
ryan: LOOL

pris: I broke into my house just to find out my front door wasn't even locked!
anh: BAHAHAA ROFLCOPTER I hate you, prius!

pris: I ran out of gas while illegally parked.
...
BAHAHAA how do you do it, woman?!

jess: could you please give me your mailing address?
anh: finally gonna mail yourself? mmm

carne asada burrito, peaches!
...
kyle: what's that drink? (sangria senorial)
anh: blood.

can't wait to try snake meat with rosa... NOT!

kyle: mike legaspi is an old man stuck in a young man's body.
anh: haa what does that make rich le? he's a child stuck in an old man's body?
kyle: no, an infant! haa

RICH LE... the most interesting man-child in the world.

DOG HAUS best of the wurst
...
one really clever restaurant name!

BROMANCE
...
from the producers of "i love you, man!"
starring: stephen roberts and anhjun lozfen
cameo by: aaron guan

don: fujie kinda likes me, but I don't understand why; I mean... look at me!

this moron just made a right turn from the left lane! no fcuking excuse... they're not even asian!

don: wait, you're talking to me while texting?
anh: ...and driving!

rosa: is it okay to come in?
anh: yeah, don't worry. my dog doesn't bite. I'm more afraid of you eating him.

(driving opposite direction in parking lot)
anh: damn asian driver! you're going the wrong way!
abby: oh wait, I am?
anh: watch out for those spikes!
abby: really?! where?!
(tires get punctured) *poof*

no more drinking for me, peaches! peeps always think i'm drunk regardless.

heather: WORK is a different 4-letter word.

120111
GIRLS' GENERATION > wonder girls > tequila
...
BAHAHAA

bryan (IT): what was the error message on your screen before it went blank?
coworker: GAME OVER? I dunno! i don't speak robot!

kyle: my sister was the groom's best man! haa can you believe it?
anh: haa wow! bride: who's she? and why is she looking hotter than me?
kyle: haa they thought she was a ladyboy!
anh: that's one gifted surgeon!

my throat is sore from singing the cranberry's "zombie". thanks, abby!

rosa: i'm glad I met you, anh!
anh: I cannot say the same.
...
haa kidding! love you too, rosarita!

[classic]
don: what's KY jelly?
anh: it's to clean your contacts with... yeah.

alright, enough drinking; more dancing, peaches! angie, you're coming with me!

bryan (IT): what was the error message on your screen before your mac crashed?
anh: "DANGER DANGER, ROBINSONS!"? I dunno! frakkin' alien technology!

why are filipinas like rosa and abby so much fun?

anhjun... aka sojuboy143

120112
anh: so i'll drive you from my place, right?
don: yeah, okay.
anh: david [kook] will just meet us there in cerritos since he's coming from the north; he's north korean.

the hobo with two hoes in different area codes is making an appearance tomorrow!

ryan: I yelped that restaurant, but couldn't find anything! is it GAIDEN BUFFY BBQ?

NINJAS vs VAMPIRES
...
'nuff said

my coworker is blasting THE CRANBERRY's "zombie"! BAHAHAA good times at SHOUT karaoke, abby!

I stopped keeping track. whoever was invited and remembers to show up at a reasonable time, you'll get the good seats; the last ones will have to sit on someones lap.

120113
whoawhoawhoa! woke up with 79 notifications? haa JEBUS!

DAVID aweSOM is like a loud version of a mime.

FRIDAY the 13th... a good day to venture out in the woods with a few friends... at CRYSTAL LAKE.

that restaurant owner will wish they didn't book team KRAZIES 5 tables! WOOHOO!

once you're cool in my book, i'll call you BOOB, but never BOOBS; that's what don has. don't be greedy now.

forget UNDERWORLD awakening... HAYWIRE is the one with the real kickass female protagonist!

DAVID aweSOM has done every kama sutra positions imaginable. he's like a CIRQUE DU SOLEIL performer.

don vu... a face not even a mother can love.

anh: would you drive to el monte for bowling next friday?
david cook: aww I'm not available that day!
anh: no prob, not my event.
david cook: make it your event.
anh: BAHAHAA the KRAZIES can easily hijack ANY event!

(david cook + david awesom) > (don vu + his no-shower policy)

i'm organizing a nude twister event. hope you, conservative american guests, are not shy.

HAYWIRE's gina carano, real life muay thai fighter, can kick UNDERWORLD's kate beckinsale's ass sideways... with an over the head elbow jab.

ryan: I hope gina carano doesn't become a butter face after the fight.
anh: well, she can always get a facelift. marie "nose" a great surgeon.

i'm having trouble sucking the jelly out.

low light wide angle camera... check. 5 tables reserved... check. marie nguyen... aww WHY?! how am I gonna eat facing her now?

we have white people showing up tonight! yayYEAH!

"we just don't give a fcuk" EPIK HIGH
...
work is just another 4-letter word. FRIDAY, PEACHES!

blasian hottie, nicole, is gonna make stephen forget that he came to the restaurant to eat tonight.

whoa, ever since I met them cambos, my skits have quadrupled in size. JEBUS!

"last friday night... yes, we took too many shots... pictures we took last night ended up online. i'm screwed!" KATY PERRY
...
BAHAHAA too much fun tonight

120115
anh: do we have to come in tomorrow? cuz it's martin luther king jr's.
coworker: yeah, you do cuz you're not black!

120116
this $5 bottle will give you 3-4 servings of LEE's coffee! raffy would finish the whole bottle in one sitting though; and I will have a full serving of TAEYEON, please!

I could've sworn I had more filipino than black coworkers; no one has come in today! really funny, guys! would it hurt to leave a white guy a memo?!

galpal: I heard that iphone users have more sex.
anh: I have a DROID! haa waittaminit...

my coworker lost his flash drive. can someone please tell kyle it's not the end of the world? i'm making really good use of it!

I need to hangout with filipinos who look korean; kinda tough since they look more cambodian... yet again, what's the difference?

yes, I have to be anal about who sits with whom at my events; certain peeps requested to be sitted with specific "celebs" whom I made infamous on facebook (such as nicole tanner). just trying to keep people happy, peaches!

I really had to make an effort to move nicole to the right table. everyone wanted a piece of that blasian!

galpal: my friend is sweet!
anh: only when she's not bitchy.

if I find you interesting, i'll make you infamous.

I found a woman taller than pooneh.

next time, remind me to book the whole restaurant! it was a MAD HOUSE!

my car can fit 8 people; 5 to sit, 1 strapped on the roof, and 2 max. in the trunk (1 white girl or 2 asian girls)

feels great to hangout with loud and sociable people! no such thing as a quiet house party with anh... ROSA!
...
rosa: shhh! can you guys keep it down! I don't want us to get kicked out!
anh: whatta pho... BAHAHAA

are you necessarily obligated to invite the person the party is for?

about time I start ordering my xbox replacement! I feel so disconnected with the virtual world!

asians with dreads?! nooo! why?! oh god, eww!

I'm sorry, but bald-headed asian dudes look like buddhist monks; only certain guys (like jon/bert) can sport it!

XBOX GAMERTAGS
...
marie nguyen | whiteshadow
don vu | hobomofo
david som | aweSOM!
stephen roberts | YURIstalker
ryan grotsky | whiteOPPSLOOL
emily cheng | SOJUfcukyeah!
fannie hsieh | fizzixnerdZzzzzz
bert cruz | mynameisreallyJONpleasedonttagme

my facebook alias is ANHJUN, but you can call me INCHEONWON.

INCHEONWON is my OTHER home!
...
emily: FCUK YEAH!
don: you've turned me into a vegetarian.

mary: who's going then?
anh: EVERYONE on facebook!

ARMAGEDDON... one of the dumbest films ever made.

120117
mass message a dozen peeps; the first one to leave the conversation is antisocial. BAHAHAA

I just beat rosa in terms of number of events in one weekend. whaaat?

when I spot an adorable kid, I always think to myself, "i hope he doesn't grow up to be an asshole... or a bitch."

rosa: anh is only an asshole online!
...
BAHAHAA

WORK spelled backwards is FCUK.

I'm feeling inspired to write a spy action thriller. blame it on GIRLS' GENERATION's "hoot" and MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 4!

no matter how many times I cheat on INCHEONWON, I always come back to it... like a girlfriend who gives you incredible sex.

ANH LOVES PEOPLE! but if you've actually managed to piss him off, good going, you're an asshole!

I like those peeps who not only click LIKE, but also bother to comment LOL! haa now, that's participation!

I should've known this CK skin moisturizer would be scented. now, I smell like i bathed in a tub of cologne... expensive!

i'm about. to pass out. from. my own. excessive. use of... COLOGNE! JEBUS!

anh: heyheyhey, you better not be rekindling any friendship with my ex. it's "bros before hos"!
don: but you always consider me your ho!
anh: that's why you're always second!

penny: here, have some coffee!
sheldon: no, coffee is out of the question! before I moved to california, I promised my mother that I wouldn't be doing drugs.
...
THE BIG BANG THEORY

120118
people suspect me to be an undercover INCHEONWON and GIRLS' GENERATION promoter. haa am I really? am I?!

chinese restaurant owner: you no stay 4 hour! this not all day buffet! you eat and go home!
anh: SOJUUU!

anh: bottoms up! bottoms up!
(coworker looks at what anh's drinking)
kyle: ...hey what's in your cup?
anh: another cup.

my ex is equipped with built in DDD airbags.

"enough with all these new girl bands already! they should release more boy bands!"
...
uh... no. BAHAHAA

120119
I dunno about seeing more viets for new year; I rather hangout with filipinos. yeah, that bad!

FRIENDSTER | the social network for the antisocial

mylene: I can hear a korean accent from you.
anh: win.

coworker: aren't you gonna clock in?
anh: go first! I gotta posts!

"i owe you $100, so i'll just treat you to a LEE'S sandwich."
...
uh... no! haa how about those peeps who only pay you back in treats?

i'll have my sister meet other uglies, but there is only ONE emily cheng! aww

SNSD is not just awesome... it's david aweSOM!

I think I enjoy kpop more than porn. wait, whaaat?
...
stephen: yuri [SNSD] SHOULD do porn!

brittany and cassie... the most viet white girls you'll ever meet.

kyle, would you like peanuts for that cough?

I think I enjoy kpop more than porn. wait, whaaat?
...
stephen: yuri [SNSD] SHOULD do porn!

INCHEONWON offers prime-cut grade-A beef briskets... PERIOD

I was told this, but yes... I am practically barney from "how I met your mother"! neil patrick harris is my hero! haa

treating my coworker to lunch cuz it's his last day... this week! haa

TRUTH: gays are more fun than homophobes.

TRUTH: joyce mojica is one friend to the 4th degree that i'm glad I took a chance on; she's so loveable!

they should sign those UPS drivers up for professional racing.

cracks me up when peeps still ask what INCHEONWON is! isn't my wall basically their homepage?

120120
anh: oh, I cannot make a left here.
mylene: no, you don't wanna risk it.
anh: did you say BRISKETS?!

anh: really, what kinda losers work on fridays?!
mylene: us.

ex: i'm analyzing you, anh.
anh: well, so am I.

chime: I miss hanging out with you guys!
anh: you can hangout when you're single.

DOOMSDAY PREPPERS
...
a new show about people living in paranoia. Y2K... 2012... oh nooo! really?!

DAVID aweSOM... our very own LOUD mime with the LED light gloves!

anh: she seemed upset at me.
jenn: just tell her it was a misunderstanding!
anh: do persian girls have periods too?

joking without smileys... the sure fire way to confuse everyone online!

jon: PENIS!
joyce: sausage! mmm
anh: briskets!
jenn: when?!
naomi: rain
heather: delivering... ugh

120121
omigod, my sister is so sick of working 12-hour shifts in hong kong that she's actually up for co-op gaming on the xbox!

anh: I like mari... mari juana!
sister: oh, who is she? haa you gotta introduce me to your friends! haa you have too many!
...
she is a harvard alumni...

anh: don cannot do wednesday; he has AARON (son) to take care of.
sister: well, tell him he can do his ERRANDS another day!
...
again, she IS a harvard alumni.

120122
sister: yeah, we can eat anywhere, but please... no chinese food!
anh: INCHEONWON!

sister: omigod, you guys eat more than the cantonese!

120123
kyle: I've been taking medication for my dry throat. my cough has lessen cuz it's more wet.
anh: wet is ALWAYS good!

jong: did you lose weight, anh?
anh: yeah, not good. gotta gain it back!

can someone tell sarvy she's been disinvited from that event cuz she's persian? but her cousin is invited!

my sister works hard and plays even harder! alright, perhaps not as hard as I do. haa

anonymous: came close to a 13-year old, but I didn't wanna take a chance.
anh: BAHAHAA not even anh would go there!

if she accuses you, there is no proof... unless she swallows.

galpal: your friends are really old-fashioned.
anh: yeah, very amish! especially don... he only listens to the 80's. and rich's only dance move is the robot chicken.

anh: I've invited so many that i'm actually hoping some of you will cancel!
david awesom: not gonna happen, bro! we're team KRAZIES!
emily: FCUK YEAH!
stephen: I didn't get invited... -_-
naomi: rain

I'm mixing Dr PEPPER and FANTA strawberry. MUAHAHAA

sister: you guys always lock everything?!
anh: yeah... unlike hong kong, we have crimes here in huntington beach.

(IN n OUT)
sister: hey, you want some fries?
anh: no, I don't eat when I drive... I drink.

le BIG MAC is not really BIG; they cheat you with thin patties and a frakkin' extra bun in the middle!

120124
chime has a younger sister? how can anyone be younger than chime?! let alone... emily?!

KPOP | converting one communist at a time.

they should have "friends" who interact the most in a top 50 list; and the ugliest girls in a top 10.

DAVID aweSOM is in the TOP-ONE "awesome" list.

DON VU did not make the TOP-10 "ugly" list; unfortunately, he's gorgeous.

no coworker dared to steal my soda. I marked "666" on it.

kyle's favorite bathroom read: PLUMBING magazine.
anh's favorite bathroom read: ...
...
NOTHING! get it done and get out! what are you waiting to do...? #3?!

my dog greets my galpals by humping their leg! haa that's don's job!

sister: so what did you do at work?
anh: I... worked... what did YOU do all day at home? hanging in the hallway, scratching your back against the textured cement wall?
sister: yes.

(anh's sister visiting from hong kong)
don: hey, tram! you want me to take you to a really good chinese restaurant?
tram: i'mma kick your ass!

sister: yeah! don did lose weight! so i'm taller than him now!

sister: so don, how's your wife?
anh: pregnant.
sister: again?!
don: fcuk.

(homemade springrolls for dinner)
anh: lemme roll one for you, don... here, I roll them close to my size.
sister: EWW! I just lost my appetite!
don: oooh! I just gained mine!
jon: PENIS!

(kitchen)
don: is that poop on the floor?
anh: NO! my dog doesn't poop indoors... YOU do!

120125
like beer and don, I only do tequila to make others happy.

they should limit street crossing to 5 seconds.

ugh... always backup! I even have backups of backups!

in france, they get wednesdays off. I should frakkin' move back!

holy... FUDGE PACKERS! they're done fixing my DSLR camera! oh, i'll be shooting uglies alright! yayYEAH!

anthony: you guys are fucking rockstars!
anh: wait, can I fcuk a korean popstar instead?

one of my worst fears:
to yell out one of my exes' name while fornicating.

I'm fine with tattoos on girls as long as it's only on their tongue.

anh: i'mma give my sister a console to take back to hong kong.
don: really? GAMEBOX or XCUBE?

don: how do you keep your car so clean?
anh: two words you're not familiar with... WASH.

120126
TIP: next time your drunk friend offers to pay for more drinks, ask for their cash up front before you end up with the entire bill while they're hurling in your glove compartment.

DON VU... one of those cases where the brother looks like sh*t, but the sister is frakkin' hot! it boggles the mind!

sorry I haven't been able to post for the last 5 minutes, peeps! had to reboot my phone!

can I unsubscribe from my own posts? there're so much to read!

120127
chocolate chip cookies are good, but oatmeal raisin cookies hit my G-spot.

I try to stay away from squares, but I have to make exceptions for peeps like don, fannie, and rich. BAHAHAA

belgian hazelnut chocolate... one of the reasons why i'm european! haa

in response to don's question:
no, I rarely do small group events cuz I actually meet up with half the friends on my list! yes, I tend to put everyone first equally... sue me.

kyle, you want my orange? it's more moist than bryan's.

I'm weary of those who are small-talk, phony nice; but when I meet someone who really is (like joyce, nicole and heather), it's a breath of fresh air!

don: do you remember where KIMERA is?
anh: it's across from the google building! GOOGLE it!

"all the right friends and all the right places" ONErepublic
...
love you all, peaches!

"like an empty hospital, I'm outta patients!" EPIK HIGH
...
let's get this frakkin' party started!

cyrus: greek food is supposed to be the healthiest in the world.
anh: no wonder I hate it.

don: uh... can you roll down the windows? I just... farted.
anh: thank you for your consideration... asshole!

don: I wonder, what if you get sick of facebook? owning a smartphone for you would be pretty pointless, huh?

120128
keira: anh, is the women's restroom clean?
anh: yes, I use it often.

120129
galpal: I seriously miss everything about incheonwon lol my friends have been taking me to the $10-$12 ones and everything was shit.
anh: BAHAHAA incheonwon has grade A brisket cuts!

marie: who's going to CLOUD?
anh: everyone on facebook.

120130
"your friend looks like one of your kpop girls"
...
yayYEAH!

abby: you look good with kids!
anh: oh, really? well, they are legal. BAHAHAA

believe it or not, the real anh is on facebook, peaches!

friends want to hook me up with their relatives. aww I must be doing something right!

yes, rich, it's perfectly alright to finally date your best friend! how long were you gonna keep this private from us, you... ASS!

david: Yeah, she seemed to have a good heart. I hope to see her again at an outing!
keira: LOL he only met me once. I could be evil!

galpal: you and your ex start being civil with each other or else!
anh: no, I cannot with the devil.

anh: wait, so you're half french?!
dude: yeah!
anh: nice! I've been hoping to have someone to use french with! do you speak it?
dude: uh... no.
...
good one. thanks for NOTHING!

120131
if you made the effort to reconnect, I will welcome you back into my world. let's makeup and makeout!

uh oh, you don't know what you got yourself into by requesting me, phu. I'm EXTREMELY active on facebook! your phone will EXPLODE!

I should consider adding my sister, tram, to my UGLIES list.

unknown caller: jerry?
anh: you got the wrong number.
unknown caller: oh, i'm sorry.
anh: don't let it happen again. you just interrupted my status post.

mike: don't comment on anh's statuses if you don't want your phone to EXPLODE! haa

coworker: you guys have small bladders; I don't have to go to the restroom as often as you do!
anh: and this is "coming" from a premature ejaculator!

jalani: why is anh so hilarious?! you made my day, bud!
anh: I try to anger people, but it just backfires.