SKITS november

121101
hey, I don't mind a little jazz, but-- OMGWTFKBBQ some covers can turn a regular 4-minute song into a 15-minute song! Zzzzzz

yes, my own korean restaurant would be called OMGWTFKBBQ. hope everyone will have an easier time spelling that over... INCHEONWON!
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DON: what about INCHEONWanh?!

121102
DREAM: meeting buzzing monkey feet PARK JUNGAH doppel.

I should just settle; get pregnant; and marry rich! yes, in that order.

"i want a lawyer, and a sandwich. oh, and I wanna update my facebook status."
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BLITZ

121103
cousin: how old is your nephew?
ANH: I don't know, he's asian.

cousin: who is anh with now? is she korean?
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BAHAHAA

some peeps like their privacy. I don't care much for mine. let's get NAKED! haa

ANH: my status has been hacked.
ANH: I cannot tell.

haa i'm sorry, but you cannot seriously keep someone around by threatening suicide! if you wanna check yourself out, that's your problem.

121104
what's with the automatic "friend" location updates? I don't need to know where you are unless I have to make a hit.

ANH: omo, did we just miss the lakers?
DON: really? who cares?! don't people know basketball isn't real... like professional wrestling?

121105
must. shoot. more. of that... UGLY! my DSLR is itching!

GURETEL now has... STYLE. haa I blame RANIA and YG entertainment!

we don't need a president.

ACADEMY ROYALE antagonist #2 (copyrighted)
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I burned major digital lead out of my tablet, it finally exploded! now, I'm in desperate need of a reliable replacement. ugh...

"the way you joke, not even your girlfriend would understand you."
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well, if they don't get you, aren't you with the wrong one?

ANH: aww, sorry I can't make it to dinner for you. I have to take my nephew to taekwondo!
POONEH: Awe! It's ok I understand. Family is important!!
ANH: no, not really... KPOP is!

121107
SISTER: so glad our president is re-elected, but there are no americans in my office to high-five!
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BAHAHAA she sometimes says the darndest things! not just RYAN!

look again in the mirror before insulting someone's looks... only uglies can do that.

DANIEL: INCHEONWanh!
ANH: ANHARCHY!
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I am Anhjun Lozfen, and I support this ad.

dude: how do you keep your car so clean?!
ANH: I... wash it?

(thumping music in the car)
NEPHEW: is that G-DRAGON?
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haa monkey boy knows what's up!

nephew: ooh... look at my boobies! i'm sooo SEXY! wanna squeeze 'em?
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BAHAHAA that's him impersonating my ex! I did not teach him that! doesn't he know it's all about LEGGGS?!

again, my IQ is dropping just by listening to THE KARDASHIANS being played. do they make any worthy contribution to society?

121108
salvaging as many event photos from my corrupted drive as possible... ugh, I can never trust machines.

know what I hate...? songs with police sirens while I'm driving!

121109
I enjoy the sound of silence. the less beats, the better. music is just noise.

MOM: omo, it's so pungent! who just farted?! was it the dog?
ANH: soweee...

the world ends december 21st
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let's have fun meaningless sex with random acquaintances! oh, wait...

kpop uglies should have nipples built onto their calves. SAMSUNG is working on those anhdroids.
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T-ARA: ooh, SEXY LOVE!

"under thai laws, drug traffickers caught with more than 20g of substance can face the death penalty."
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LOCKED UP ABROAD

MOM: we may have to move again.
ANH: I don't care where we move to. just make sure we're closer to... INCHEONWON!

121110
I think the ICE HOTEL in sweden offers shaved ice.

funny how they sell fried insects in 3rd world countries when I can fry my own at home.

haa RITA is so WEIRD! YAY for eccentric eurasians!

121111
if a film doesn't get my attention within 30 minutes, I skip to the next. don't have time to waste on borefests.

hmm, i'mma squeeze some lime into my dog's eyes and see what happens.

not surprised that BEEF PHO is Anthony Bourdain's favorite dish.
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MOM: i'mma make chicken pho next time!
ANH: no, thanks. I'd rather have fried chicken.

nephew: how do you spell CERTIFICATE?
ANH: C-E-R-T--
nephew: G?
ANH: no... T...
nephew: G?!
ANH: nooo! T as in TIT!

121113
keira knightly... not bad looking... but someone PLEASE give that girl a sandwich!

jebus, don't know which is harder to understand... british or scottish accents?

can you BRITISH frakkin' speak AMERICAN?!

again, stop adding me by accident via your "smart" phones, people! I don't need anymore socially-inept "friends"!

sonuva... get off the road! will your car explode if you go over 30 mph?!

JASMINE of "Tattoo Nightmares" is one ROCKSTAR artist! her artworks are INSANE!

121114
a total of 37988 kpop songs are released per year
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MNET countdown

"you're pretty when you don't talk."
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Flower Boy Ramyun Shop kseries

121115
"updated relationship pages"... seriously? isn't seeing couple's photos annoying enough? haa

"i'm turning 30, and i'm freaking out!" kim kardashian
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quality american television.

leave it to facebook to breakup new relationships with photos of you making out with your exes.

AMY: I was vegetarian for 5 years, but it was so difficult to find any place to eat on my travels.
ANH: I eat vegetarians.

121116
MOM: where do you plan to move to? TEXAS?
ANH: uh, no.
MOM: North Korea?!

most peeps are interesting... till the alcohol wears off.

if everyone couldn't care less about what others think, we'd all have more fun! but nooo, most just have to put up a proper facade for society! bleh...

yes, you know 'em! friends who sound like assholes when they talk, but are really pleasant people.

I don't know any cambodian girl over 5'2". what gives? WHY?!

121118
CASSIDY: I fell on my face at disneyland!
ANH: good thing you're asian or that would've cost you a nose job.

CASSIDY: we had lobsters yesterday.
ANH: but it's off season. was it a roach?

PHU: it's better to dump girls than have them dump you.
ANH: don't you have to be dating them first?

DEAN: yeah, I know you. aren't you that KPOP guy?!

121119
those people you've deleted, and wonder why you've added them back. i'll never make that mistake again!

i'm in the mood for a feel-good BOLLYWOOD film! why won't they frakkin' show any in theaters?

"i only need a handful of close friends."
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true, but I get bored seeing the same 5 faces. haa it's like a low budget film where they can't afford more actors! I need my quality friends in quantities!

we don't really enjoy turkey. most likely beef shrimp squid springrolls with plenty of butter on a GRILL, peaches!

I don't follow you. your post just appeared in the stalker column.

KY: don is not that much taller than me!
ANH: only cuz he was sitting... and slouching.

KY: is don coming on friday?
ANH: when he heard you are coming, he hung up on me.

121120
event photos usually always look more fun than it actually was. most of the time, we just sit there facebooking on our phones.

(watching anime)
nephew: why is she white?
ANH: why are you yellow?

chime is let out of her cage when they have guests. her boyfriend covers her bruises with peanut butter... cuz she's brown. wait, that's not brown... with hoisin sauce!

chime changed her name to MIA

JEFF: ROR!
ANH: you mean ROARRR! ROR is korean for LOL.
ROJI: ROR we are the supleme lace!

I had to leave the theater 15 minutes into 21 JUMP STREET, not cuz it was bad, only cuz my galpal wanted some sexy time. BAHAHA

121121
when you're done with HITMAN, try SPLINTER CELL... a superior stealth game.

nephew: my mom's SUV is the best!
ANH: it's like saying APPLE is the best brand. yo mama's BMW drives like a bus!

while still considered toys, tablets are well on their way to becoming fully functional PCs. I've used one since '04, and cannot go back to regular laptops.

121122
I am thankful for not having turkey... another chicken.

I am not one to cancel an event just cuz only one person is coming. haa

if you only know songs in english, don't call yourself a music lover.

there are good sounds in every genre... not so much with death metal. haa WTF?

you thought SNSD fans were KRAZY, death metal fans are DEMENTED!

white americans actually shouted "SAYONARA!" to GIRLS' GENERATION at their NY concert?
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KPOP FAN: they're not japanese! They're KOREAN!
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BAHAHAA

GUEST: why do you pull the fat off the briskets?
ANH: how do you think i'm able to eat at incheonwon EVERYDAY?

DON: I bought a large pizza. wanna have some?
ANH: haa nooo! pizza is for those who can't have REAL food!

DON: is that... SANTA CLAUS?
ANH: wait, I thought it was a cutting board.

I can't snort coke cuz I'd probably sneeze it off the table. damn allergies!

121123
spankin' new ASSASSIN'S CREED III for $30? YES, PLEASE!

SAMSUNG NOTE 10.1... i'm aiming at you.

121124
nephew: how old is uncle don?
ANH: older than claire (his daughter).
nephew: so why is he playing kids' video games? shouldn't he be good with adult games?

nephew: I like SOUTH KOREA. if the NORTH had GIRLS' GENERATION, I would support them!

the day after incheonwon, I usually prefer to be vegetarian.

when i ask them about BIGBANG and they reply with "big bang theory?", i just wanna smack them over the head. it was funny the first 100 times.
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and no, they can't make fun of kpop cuz their taste is much funnier.

ANH: don enjoys wearing his thong... backwards.
DON: you mean, backside down.

DOOMSDAY PREPPERS... paranoia and living with fear. haa puh-leez, you can never be 100% safe from anything. like you can barricade yourself in your house forever! aren't they learning anything from WALKING DEAD?

121126
mom waved at a total stranger thinking she knew them. haa all filipinos look alike!

"we're born alone, and we die alone. all we have in between is suffering."
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THERE BE DRAGONS

SESAME'S CREED III must be the tame game version.

121127
MOM: that black woman was dancing in her car!
ANH: wow, she loves music more than me. those people can never fall asleep while driving!

blasting explicit french rap with kids in the car.

grew up with algerians, arabs, and the likes. cool bunch! now I have to deal with latinos... no difference! haa

PAPERMATE ballpoint pens
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my traditional sketching/drawing weapon of choice. I despise pencils.

United States of Bacon (food show)
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haa the host is a few bites away from a heart attack!

bun bo xao is the equivalent of spaghetti, but so much better!

INK MASTER is a great competition show!

no more portable game consoles for me! I hardly ever play games on the go! such impulse buys. ugh...

how many photos do I usually have per album? 200 sounds about right. haa

121128
PUSS IN BOOTS
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I hardly care for cats cuz they think we're supposed to serve them, but that dude is hilarious!

HYUN AH = HYUNA
JI AH = JIA
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you drop the H when combined
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ANH JUN = ANJUN?
JEFF POH = JEFFPO?

you try and have 1 billion people watch your music video over and over again. some songs are undeniably catchy!

SAMANTHA: eww why did you draw her?!
ANH: what? women are not supposed to have nipples?
nephew: he's a grown-up. he can draw naked women!
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haa you're damn right, monkey boy alien head!

ooh, PEANUTS!

121129
to those who just added me, sorry you didn't get the memo... your phone will EXPLODE!

FRIEND: your status updates kept me up all night!
ANH: yo MAMA kept me up all night!

alright, this is your WAKEUP CALL! goodnight, PEACHES!

121130
OMGWTFeggrolls?! this is not KOREAN!

Mnet Asian Music Awards (MAMA) if on RIGHT NOW! haa some artists dressed as BATMAN characters!
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BANE: I'm so excited, I can't breathe.

I have to constantly draw, or I will strangle someone... like a black guy itching to dance!

korean americans/canadians make for terribly awkward show presenters though.
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SEO INYOUNG performing "airplane" with B.o.B!

PSY performing before 80,000 fans. KPOP has globally become bigger than soccer!

"dress classy, dance cheesy." PSY
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PSY may as well be the true "dictator" for capitalism.

JEFF: sharing is caring!
ANH: sharing is also brainwashing.

hey ghetto "gangster" blogger, apart from all the "fcuk" "sh*t" and "sh*t fcuking", can you use actual ENGLISH? I don't understand broken CAVE TALK.

I swear, the way someone words things shows you their level of education.

ICE CUBE: gangsters don't rap. they can't even dance!

I guess it's done on purpose; the humans in SHREK are dumb and UGLY! haa

DONKEY: you know what'd help morale around here? flip-flop fridays.
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BAHAHAA the comedic lines and timing in SHREK are flawless!

is the NINTENDO DS turning into a TABLET? jebus, how big are they pushing the screen to become? you can practically play virtual air-hockey on it.

121131
I thought EMO was a SESAME STREET character. haa WHY so... SERIOUS?!

SURVIVOR is still on? I was done after the first season.

"the SAHARA desert was a barrier against the plague. few living things can survive at 125°."
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MANKIND the story of all of us