110601
if fannie was a guy, emily would be all over her!
facebook needs to add an "i would comment, but i really don't wanna get caught in a thread and receive endless notifications that are irrelevant to me" button!
110601
rich: do you wanna try my eggroll? it's kinda squishy
anh: that's what she said!
anh: do you know what LOL stands for?
don: Laugh Out Loud?
anh: alright, what about AOL?
don: America Out Loud?
anh: haa rich is not that innocent! he knows more than don!
rich: hey! you don't know what I do on my spare time!
kyle: yeah, prostitutes! haa
anh: no, he prefers the term "working girls"
kyle: omigod! rich has no nipples! I couldn't feel 'em!
anh: haa why did you even reach for them? rich is like japanese porn--he's CENSORED!
110602
UNHEARD OF! Fannie Hsieh... first person to fall asleep skydiving!
rich: who removed those mock pages without my knowing?!
anh: carmen before she quit. FINAL SABOTAGE!
carmen: I wanted to throw you bitches a curve ball! MUAHAHAA
kyle: my computer is slow
anh: no, it's the user
mom: I think your dad wanted to buy a toyota camera
anh: camera? you mean CAMRY!
...
my mom is a fob
drinking with minors should be legalized! they could be doing worse things... like drugs or watching "power rangers"
emily would pick soju over ice cream. don, you lose!
110603
most guys are cool... until the alcohol wears off. then they're surprisingly BORING!
I want her to get buzzed, not wasted. you ain't vomiting in my car, girlie!
olivia: so what have you been up to?
anh: check facebook
...
it surprises me how some still ask me that
"i don't have a cell phone, but I'll reach you via payphone!"
...
whatta fcuk is a payphone?!
110604
chocolate chip cookies are what people eat when they run out of oatmeal cookies
110605
we're both eurasians. I'm 1/4 french. she's 1/4 undecided
110606
people are like paper money. there are some fake bills
110601
rich: do you wanna try my eggroll? it's kinda squishy
anh: that's what she said!
anh: do you know what LOL stands for?
don: Laugh Out Loud?
anh: alright, what about AOL?
don: America Out Loud?
anh: haa rich is not that innocent! he knows more than don!
rich: hey! you don't know what I do on my spare time!
kyle: yeah, prostitutes! haa
anh: no, he prefers the term "working girls"
kyle: omigod! rich has no nipples! I couldn't feel 'em!
anh: haa why did you even reach for them? rich is like japanese porn--he's CENSORED!
110602
UNHEARD OF! Fannie Hsieh... first person to fall asleep skydiving!
rich: who removed those mock pages without my knowing?!
anh: carmen before she quit. FINAL SABOTAGE!
carmen: I wanted to throw you bitches a curve ball! MUAHAHAA
kyle: my computer is slow
anh: no, it's the user
mom: I think your dad wanted to buy a toyota camera
anh: camera? you mean CAMRY!
...
my mom is a fob
drinking with minors should be legalized! they could be doing worse things... like drugs or watching "power rangers"
emily would pick soju over ice cream. don, you lose!
110603
most guys are cool... until the alcohol wears off. then they're surprisingly BORING!
I want her to get buzzed, not wasted. you ain't vomiting in my car, girlie!
olivia: so what have you been up to?
anh: check facebook
...
it surprises me how some still ask me that
"i don't have a cell phone, but I'll reach you via payphone!"
...
whatta fcuk is a payphone?!
110604
chocolate chip cookies are what people eat when they run out of oatmeal cookies
110605
we're both eurasians. I'm 1/4 french. she's 1/4 undecided
110606
people are like paper money. there are some fake bills
amanda: did you get to talk to my friend, chi, at the club?
anh: not really. it was too loud!
amanda: oh, maybe we should hang out somewhere more quiet
anh: the library?
break me off a piece of that KITTY KAT bar!
everybody deserves respect, but if they don't give it to you, stick a banana into their exhaust pipe!
kitty: no, I'm not photogenic! the horror!
anh: what's horrible is your image of yourself
stop hiding from the camera. you have a great face, ugly
110607
anh: I want robin williams to be my boss
carmen: so you can have another clown?
rich: ding it! this candy wrapper is so hard to open!
anh: like opening a bra with one hand?
she got me at "i wanna see XMEN"
anh: don's still looking for his dignity
rich: why is he searching for something he never had?
anh: don's kids are 1/2 jap 1/2 viet
kitty: still asian though
anh: unfortunately
don, stop it! I'm not an ice cream cone!
anh: CHAMSUTGOL is the new INCHEONWON!
daniel (incheonwon co-owner): SAY WHAAAT?! I thought we were tight, homes!
my lingo is contagious. i've noticed peeps using my words... "girlie", "boob", and UGLY
I have a knack for spitting out smartass comments on the fly. I even surprise myself
110608
I've made don laugh to the point where he's broken a rib
david: I'm sure people will miss incheonwon, but as you say, let's get people out of their comfort zone. new faces, new places!
anh: out of their comfort zone? YES! next, I'll have them try DOG MEAT!
you peeps aren't frakkin' sitting with your own group this time. I'm mixing vanillas with chocolates!
don: we should have dinner
daniel: hey, there's a good vietnamese restaurant over there! [points to a petshop]
rich: hey! I'm the alpha male here!
kyle: alphabet?
anh: I like alphabits!
rich: I give you two choices. you either take your shoes off or scrub the floor
don: que pasta, senior?
anh: wow. 2 years of spanish
anh: rich, I got burned. can you suck my thumb?
rich: that's so inappropriate
jong: I'll suck your thumb!
jon: that's what she said!
anh: my long hair is getting out of hand
nikko: shave it, son!
anh: no, dad!
anh: I like kitty. the name, not the person. I can't be seen in public with you. please, wear a zorro mask
kitty: Don't have one. Can I just wear a paper bag?
omigod, don IS donkey from SHREK!
110609
don't you just love those bikers who are geared just like biker cops? it's like they purposely wanna freak you out!
...
what about those cops who look just like prostitutes?
the UPS guy is like santa claus!
Monday Tuesday W T F
no, I'm not that asian. I can't eat crawfish nor dog meat. I like my beef, thank you
kyle: my butt is shaped like an apple
jong: mmm... SEXY!
don: do I have an apple butt?
anh: you're shaped like a potato
discard of "friends" who drain your energy. I can help make it look like an accident. I'm a professional
yes, anh talks in the 3rd person half the time
jong: I'm done. now, I want desert!
anh: is your boyfriend in the parking lot?
don: you want fish tacos or a carne asada burrito?
anh: YES!
anh: I can't reach don! maybe he's in the shower
kitty: what? that's impossible!
110610
kitty: what does the L on your pendant stand for?
anh: well, actually--
kitty: "Loser"?
anh: ...
emily: romantic > sport-fanatic
...
got that right, girlie
mom: the GPS man might show up today to deliver your package
...
I didn't even bother correcting that one
I know guys who've cried for days without eating over their breakup. I'm sorry, but food comes first!
if I survived a plane crash in the andes mountains, I'd eat the first person with the sweetest ass... man OR woman
anh: you're about to faint. eat something!
kitty: too late. this is my ghost talking to you
...
BAHAHAA how does she come up with these?!
I've met someone who can make me laugh harder than I can make myself laugh. sweeeeeet!
I'mma text with her till my phone explodes!
the death penalty for smuggling drugs into bangladesh? isn't that a little... OVERKILL?
110611
"if it's good, it's gonna end up in my mouth" (COOKING channel | unique eats)
...
jon, this is too easy
I think I found a bag for you, ugly. now, I can take you out in public! YAY
useless mirrors! where's my reflection?! odd...
110612
mom: where did you find her?
anh: on the street... or was it the circus?
FCUK hit my foot against the chair! why do they make 'em with legs?!
alright, I should stop adding guys cuz some think it's gay!
anh: too bad I have the image of a playboy. bleh...
aefy: haa yeah! only playboys know how to treat girls!
anh: haa touchaaay!
110613
ugly dolls or ugly girls?
...
UGLY GIRLS, please!
yes, I boost their ego by calling them UGLY! boggles the mind...
I forgot brent has blocked me from deleting him! how the pho?!
how about those people who reply to their own texts?
...
kitty: LOL
kitty: HAHA
anh: I didn't say anything, kitty!
erick: hahaa! are you high, anh?!
anh: haa what are you talking about? this is natural high!
...
some think I'm high cuz I laugh uncontrollably when I talk sometimes! I'm like that outgoing drug dealer from PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
anh: how can I get bored with someone as funny and funny looking as you?
kitty: haa you won't!
I know you're not dumb, stupid!
110614
8:00am is too early to call anyone. I call them at 8:02am
don't joke about being a lesbian. I can't be dating those... again
just when you thought you were done with asians, they keep pulling you back in!
don: so Fannie Hsieh's not gonna make it to korean bbq?
anh: no, she's gonna be up north with her people... the sleepers
...
stephen king's THE SLEEPERS (coming soon)
just burped and it sounded like a lion's ROAR
MY FAVORITE 5: kitty, emily, fannie, rich, INCHEONWON
...
don is not even in my top 100
anh: CHAM doesn't take dinner reservations for FRI/SAT/SUN
kitty: what da heo?!
110615
duh boss: it's kinda COOL to be old fashioned every now and then
...
no, it's not! who the frak is this clown kidding?
rich: WONDER TWINS ACTIVATE!
anh: whatta hell are you saying?! who the frak are the wonder twins?
rich: they're part of SUPER FRIENDS!
anh: I don't know who those are!
rich: cuz you don't have any super friend!
she's almost like the female version of anh, but uglier
don: [gets shot in the leg] FCUK! OWW! omigod... $@#% MOTHERFOCKER!
anh: why are you being so overly dramatic? it's just a flesh wound. walk it off, SISSY!
don: alright, RAMBO!
I'm taking a break from taking a break!
110616
rich is a good guy trying to be bad.
anh is a bad guy trying to be good.
i swyped "always" and "smartass" appeared? my phone is trying to tell me something
rich: she's 18
anh: too old
it boggles my mind that some people really don't like being touched! do they reproduce asexually?
BAND-AIDS are for the weak. I prefer SUPER GLUE
joanna: have a nice weekend! don't party too much!
anh: I will
110617
anonymous: just delete the photos that look bad
anh: you mean any one with me in it?
anonymous: EXACTLY
don: I'm not gonna shower! NEVER EVER! you can't make me!
110618
Crystal Mira: emily's car drove off the mountain and she almost died! haa I thought that was so funny!
Emily Cheng: jeeh, I'm glad you find that entertaining...
Don Vu made Emily Cheng laugh so hard, her drink came out of her nose
once we took that bacardi shot, it instantly dissolved everything we just ate! whoa
110620
kitty: people are getting implants left and right
anh: don is getting a reduction
don is real clueless in the bedroom. he wouldn't know how to satisfy a woman... or a man
I've mistaken kitty for a skunk
kitty: don's hair looks angry
that white thing that fell out of don's nose wasn't white nose hair
110621
threw a corn nut towards my mouth. have no frakkin' idea where it went
I went from HAHAA to HAA to haa. now, i'mma stop laughing entirely and have you guys guess if I even found your comment... hilarious
anh: is it that when you say NO, you really mean YES?
kitty: no
110622
rich looks boring, but he's quite fun. he talks a lot of BS. never a dull moment! the most interesting man in the world. WE LOVE YOU, RICH!
Rich Le's face makes you tired
Alex Le' face makes you angry
Fannie Hsieh's face makes you hungry
Don Vu's face makes you lose your lunch AND yesterday's dinner!
anh: do you even know what LOL stands for?
don: Laughing Or Laughing?
sorry about my food upload again! I forget some peeps are forced to eat instant ramen, rice and soy sauce, or leather shoes... EVERYDAY!
I love it. I laugh so hard at my own posts
pool? what pool?! my pool is the OCEAN!
it's always the tiny girls who can eat more than anybody! Don Vu, you lost to Emily Cheng. you... PANZY!
I only deleted him cuz he thinks that JAY LENO is funnier than CONAN
I wonder if my nephew can move things with his mind. his head is HUGE!
110623
lilett: my daughter is getting her license
anh: wow. another asian woman on the road
lilett: filipinas are not that bad!
anh: ALL ASIANS ARE BAD!
anh: have to hit a friend's place for dinner
kitty: lucky you
anh: it's fried rice
kitty: ...
anh: haa kidding! it's rice with soy sauce
kitty: my fave
they asked me to stop shooting photos. it's like asking me to get off facebook
guys think about sex when they're not thinking about sex
people taste like chicken
110624
my dog is a handsome cat
don's wife: anh, do that again! that felt good!
don: yeah, he's really good at giving massages!
anh: fujie, I also give great open-bra FRONTAL massages!
110625
the house is gonna be sprayed for fleas. thanks don for bringing 'em over!
don is the village idiot... and it's a HUGE village
[harassing don pushing his stroller]
mam, you're unshaven
mam, there is a dress code for this clothing store
mam, emitting foul odors is prohibited
mam, close your legs!
mam, breast feeding is not allowed in the store!
[walking behind don pushing his stroller]
we came here to sight see and this is our view? it's like walking behind an elephant
anh: 45 min wait for a table at BJ'S?
don: I ain't waiting 45 min for a BJ!
anh: they have free refills on tap water! drink up!
don: yayYEAH!
kitty: you can grow a beard! does it hurt?
110626
don's wife is still looking for something... love
when i exhaust all 3 camera batteries, it means the party's over for me. I'M LEAVING!
110628
rich: I'm smarter than you, but you make more money? whatta heo?!
rich: it's been a while since I've had a banana
jon: that's what she said!
duh boss just left for the day, i'mma break out my flask and get reacquainted with mary j
110603
so hungry. must. stay. away. from. THE FRIDGE!
LET'S PIG OUT ON BEEF, PEACHES!
BEEF... the only meat that matters!
the cure to all your troubles... SOJU and HITE!
[on the phone about the 7pm dinner]
jon: who's there already?
anh: there're some people who are like 45 minutes late
jon: i'm filipino so that's still early
[at the restaurant]
kitty: where did your friends go?
anh: emily and marcus are in the shaky car with the steaming windows
David: kitty, looking at Don, can you tell that he's had braces before?
110604
esther: well it takes a lot for me to even agree to date people
anh: all it takes for me is some skin
omigod, my nephew brought a girl into his room O_o
is it legal to be awake this early on a frakkin' saturday morning?!
did you guys see the curves on QUEEN Pooneh Salehi last night?! she could turn a gay man straight!
so many ugly girls i wanna shoot! i should publish an UGLY magazine
anh: [to persian girl pooneh] hey! you and don could pass for siblings! you two have the same haircut! it's just that yours actually looks like you shampoo it
anh: wow. you dressed to impress last night!
esther: on occasion, i dress up. girls do that
...
so next time, esther shows up in a potato sac
i gotta nap at some point. perhaps when i'm driving... or diffusing a bomb
don: around anh, nothing is sacred... and no one is safe!
110605
I'm Attending | Maybe | No
...
i can't select [I'm Attending] cuz that would be making a promise!
i can't select [Maybe] cuz that really means "most likely not!"
i can't select [No] cuz that's sounds so frakkin' bad!
...
so i usually never answer to invitations
hungry... wait. INCHEONWON is still open till midnight! FCUK just missed it!
amanda: should we bring our camera to the club, tonight?
khoa: why? we have anh!
...
haa yes, i have an addiction that complements facebook!
i have almost 200 friends and i practically hangout with all of them O_o
...
restaurant host: ANH, party of 27! your tables are ready!
not too long ago
...
don: why don't you make new friends?
anh: naah... it's too much of a hassle trying to keep in touch with everybody! i only need a few close friends i can count with my fingers
...
i thank-you facebook. you made my taking don's advice to a whole. other. level!
david: JEEZ! why were you still awake at 4 in the morning?!
anh: so i can beat Kitty at something... not sleeping
again, i got a total stranger adding me. should i be worried? no, i don't have enough galpals
anh: how can you still be so active at this hour?!
anh: cuz sleeping is for LOSERS!
...
anh: hey, look! i'm talking to myself!
anh: you don't say!
FOB: hey, rich! who's that jerk who's spamming your wall with his status updates?
anh: Rich Le, tell your friend that i'm the same jerk who takes those exact photos of you that you post on facebook!
...
there's a french word for people like that: "IDIOT"
oh, and i have nothing against fobs. some are frakkin' hot!
ngoc: i thought you didn't know vietnamese!
anh: i know ugly monkeys
don't call me "mr. nice guy". i hate it. call me "mr. badass mofo"!
* Who Will Stay Awake Just to Watch You Sleep?
...
i'm still awake cuz i can't sleep with her snoring. should i use a pillow?
5 am... all in a night's work! goodnight, CHINA!
110606
to all asian women... yes, it's alright to keep some weight on! get over it! real men like MEAT!
if i delete her boyfriend, shouldn't i delete her too?
if i grabbed onto your boob, it was unintentional!
the nerve... don't think for a second that i'm stalking you. such arrogance! you're not ugly enough! people usually stalk me! BAHAHAA
anh: brent, i thought i already deleted you! must be broken
brent: i blocked you from deleting me
...
now THAT needs to be an added feature!
i'm a group you peeps into different categories:
...
friends | family | uglies | undecided | who the fcuk are you?
110607
anh: don wants you to try CHAMSUTGOL KBBQ this time!
emily: but i really like INCHEONWON!
anh: just try it once! it's not bad--
emily: but it's not good either!
i watched "THE RING" like a foot away from the TV in pitch black darkness. yes, i'm a horror buff!
La Quinta HS
...
don: what does "HS" mean?
110608
Don Vu's wife, fujie, is FUGLY! it's BEYOND ugly. it's fujie-ugly!
"don't date the most beautiful girl in the world. date the girl who makes your world the most beautiful" (stole this from nikko who stole it from unknown)
if facebook was a woman, she'd put a restraining order on me!
hungry. craving. massive. amount. of... BRISKETS!
110610
bungee-jumping with a long cord is extremely thrilling, but you only get to do it once
110612
i've successfully contacted an alien life-form. i codename it "KITTY143"
got invited to another party of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend. yeah, that sounds about right
alright, deleting some dudes from my list! starting with... whatta hell--my best friend! Don Vu! continued with... jack of all trades! David Cook!
110613
they should fuse some shows...
Andrew Zimmern VS FOOD: dog eating edition
110614
don: mmm this croissant is really good! are you sure you don't want one last piece? ARE YOU SURE?!
anh: dude, I'm sure! I'm french. we grow chocolate croissants from trees!
110617
anh: i gotta apply makeup
kitty: yeah, you do
anh: i hate you!
kitty: get some makeup tips from don
anh: BAHAHAA he's GORGEOUS!
Anh: alright! you both are taking shots with me! who's driving?
Joyce: oh, chris is!
Kris: i'm the DD
Emily Cheng: he's her Designated Drunk Driver!
110618
David is an A-list mofo. there is only one
Don loves to laugh on all fours
anh: you may have had food poisoning
kitty: dunno. i threw everything up. YAY!
anh: get off your bed and have something light... like a mouse
kitty: how did crystal learn to count in vietnamese?
anh: from the korean dude, david!
110620
Don Vu is a LOCO FOBO BOZO HOBO MOFO!
----
Anhjun Lozfen: BLOCK dung pham! it attempted to add my cousin!
Don Vu: What happened? Why you say that now?
Anhjun Lozfen: ATTEMPTED TO ADD MY COUSIN! that's not clear enough for you? do i have to say it in french, focker?
Don Vu: HAHAHAHAAA!
Anhjun Lozfen: IT tried the same thing with kitty!
Don Vu: Yo understand what tu hables en ingles para pi para pa para cu!
Don Vu: IT es a creature?
Anhjun Lozfen: i'mma give your address to all of my spanish speaking buddies
Anhjun Lozfen: you're the hideous creature with the angry hair you... ignorant FOOL!
Don Vu: Tu no tiene espanoles speaking friends! Donde esta aqui?!
Anhjun Lozfen: THAT'S IT! i'm on my way with mom and a titanium steel-reinforced bamboo stick, focker!
----
when anh calls you UGLY that's a good thing. but if he calls you GORGEOUS, he must hate you with a passion
Tenzin Seldon is UGLY | Don Vu is GORGEOUS
Crystal Mira: the longer it is, the more curious I get
"it's his birthday. say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
...
uh, NO!
110621
don: how old is chime? is she the same age as emily?
anh: no, she's younger
don: how can anyone POSSIBLY be younger than EMILY?!
anh: i know, right? whatta pho?!
110622
david: photos of kitty, i like... but of don, NO!
anh: i'm so sorry about sending you photos of don, david! it will happen again
110624
amazes me how many still manage to misspell simple words even with spell check!
110629
raffy: Happy birthday Boob!
...
Two tips on your birthday:
1) Forget the past... You can't change it.
2) Forget the present, I didn't get you one ;)
...
By the way... its ok to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I've already alerted the fire department.
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