MARCH

130301
are you sure you wanna add me to facebook? i use it like twitter.

some uglies i like more than others. you know who you are!

A TALE OF TWO SISTERS
(starring Moon Geunyoung and Im Sujeong)
...
forget the hollywood remake. this is the real deal that gets under your skin!

JEFF: "let's all jump on the bandwagon!"
ANH: most americans are ignorant anyway. when it comes to KPOP, they only know PSY. haa
random american: that CHINESE guy!

130302
“God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me.”

"The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she’s 17 years, 11 months old."
...
BARNEY STINSON

130303
women pay THOUSANDS for your DDDs, but you want a reduction?!

eddy murphy: lesbians have great tits. straight women have guys yanking, and squeezing, and pulling on their breasts all the time, but lesbians don't.
...
TOWER HEIST

130305
great, just got some GORILLA glue on myself.
...
TERRENCE: Mistook it for the lube again, eh?
DON: what's K.Y.?
Ky Le?: LOL seriously, don?!

ANH: i'm craving for a SOURDOUGH JACK!
PAUL: LOL you like JACK in the CRACK?
...
says the guy who gets his chinese food at PICKUP STICKS.

you know they're completely bored at home when they're playing social networking games.

emily, we have too many mutual friends between us. let's delete some... starting with Fannie Hsieh?.

"gay oregon couple was beaten on street while walking pink poodle." ~KOMOnews.com
...
was it PETA?

130306
just cuz you're female, i won't easily confirm you. prove to me that you're a real person and not a program.

why would i make it a hassle to move to Google+ when i have all of my friends and photos here? haa it's like asking me to move to another korean BBQ restaurant... INCHEONWON!

130307
(COSTCO)
MOM: WAHL haircutting kit for $30?! why is a battery required?
ANH: for the scissors that are included.

MOM: why are these mushrooms so brown?
ANH: cuz they're not white. SHEKSHI!

(looking through frozen chicken cuts)
MOM: you still like eating breasts?
ANH: i prefer thighs...

Priscilla Palacio?, do they even know what mexicans are in CHINA? cuz they certainly have no clue in VIETNAM!

ANTHONY JESELNIK is an edgy, offensive comedian. BAHAHAA

GENESIS RODRIGUEZ (casa de mi padre)
...
you mean, an ugly who's actually interesting and naturally funny?!i'm craving latinas for the third time.

it doesn't matter how often i repost anything! if Nanashi Sama? likes it the first time, he'll keep liking it! DAEBAK!

RANIA's single "just go" just released! DI is sporting a shorter, more lesbionic look, but wow.

LOIS: Peter, what’s the matter? This is a happy occasion.
PETER: No, it’s not, Lois. It’s horrible. You don’t know what happens to a man when he gets married. It’s like a disease that rots you from the inside out.

130308
LEKHENA: Funny you. You always put a smile on my face.

LEKHENA: girls always think I want their man, but I don't. They're ugly, I just like being friends with them.
...
i doubt she's using my definition of UGLY. haa

extremely nice to have acquaintances easily open up to me. can't say the same for some good friends!

130309
TRAM: Are you Barney Stinson?!

(EXID member making chinky eyes gesture)
MIKE: *points to bottom right corner* is it racist if an asian does it? does an asian even need to do it at all? was that a racist comment just now? XD

to those who couldn't care less about what others think, you guys are the SHIITAKE!

130310
i enjoy offending racists with racist jokes... tremendously!

"this is a true story. only the facts have been changed."
...
BIG YEAR

G.I. JOE 2
...
BRUCE WILLIS on one end, and LEE BYUNG HUN on the other?
that's all that matters!

ky, i'm considering deleting Don Vu? only cuz you know that clown.

Don Vu?, stop confusing ugly sweet KY with my bitter psychotic ex, KITTY... like briskets and gum-under-my-shoe.

how can anyone mistaken a graphic designer for a programmer... or someone who can actually draw? seriously?!

coagulated blood?! no thanks, i rather eat the gum-under-my-shoe.

130311
love people's reactions when they find out how multidimensional i am. yes, i'm open to many things; that's probably one reason why i can easily relate to others.

130312
even SNOOP DOG is a GIRLS' GENERATION fanatic!
resistance is futile. succumb to the dark side, peaches.

ANH: to stephen, any girl who's not YURI looks like a MAN!
Stephen?: that's not true! i only like girls that look like YURI!

"can you type 50 wpm?"
...
certainly... with typos.

no, mom... CILLIAN MURPHY is not TOM WELLING from SMALLVILLE!
...
you don't have to be white to be able to tell the difference!
my mom thinks she's always right. it's NOYIN'!

130313
SAMANTHA: who's uncle Don??
NEPHEW: he's my uncle's friend. he looks homeless.

130314
"The truth is that most users are clueless about technology, yet Apple needs those same users to buy more Apple products."
...
Andres Rosello
...
ain't that the truth! BAHAHAA

"i'm not a completely nice guy. i'm not a total prick either. TOM HANKS is a nice guy."
...
STEVE CARELL

"Creating art makes you feel better. Creating art is therapeutic. The activity of making things fulfills a deep need for self-expression."
...
Pnina Granirer

ROBOT COMBAT LEAGUE is disappointingly one of the fakest, most monotonous shows on TV! i rather watch the KARDASHIANS complain about complaining.

so lame... i might have to give up on american shows entirely like i did to american music.

when they're consistently playing online games, you know they're completely bored out of their mind!

130315
NANA [orangecaramel]
...
south koreans... the only koreans that matter. why sooo UGLY?! jizzed.
...
KHA: why so ugly?
ANH: uglier than my unkept mexican woman, Don Vu. that's for sure!
KHA: what's a mexican?
ANH: ...

why do people get worked up over nasty comments on YOUTUBE? "hey, i'm a 12-year old and i'm unsupervised!" just ignore them!

"i can no longer login to facebook. my wife prohibits me from looking at your photos."

BARNEY: tonight, we're gonna get drunk. i mean, needing-subtitles-when-you're-speaking drunk!

130316
"Bong Bong likes Malaine Som's link."
...
thank you, stalker column. i do not know Bong Bong nor Malaine Som. there's definitely a glitch in the matrix.

Angelica: Admit it, Jack. You still love me.
Jack Sparrow: If you had a sister and a dog... I'd choose the dog.

?"sometimes, you gotta eat people, america. that's how business works."
...
OLD SPICE

130317
ANH: KITTY asked if i had a condom. i should've hit the lights and said "YES!"
JOY: what's a condom?

130318
ANH: alright, everytime you mention KITTY's name, i'mma charge you $100.
Don Vu?: oh, sh*t.
ANH: $100!

i seldom sever ties by association, but some peeps just cannot be spared.

130319
Renowned physicist Stephen Hawking recently explained his belief that there is no God .
...
JJ JENKINS: Those little minds that dismiss God are only kidding themselves.
BAN: Well said, if you've noticed, most really smart people don't believe in god.

130320
"If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love others. You will not be able to love others. If you have no compassion for yourself then you are not able of developing compassion for others."
...
Dalai Lama

sonuvaBEEEEP! just got a HUGE tax break!

PORN... something anh checks out when jeff is not available to distract him with KPOP!

i hardly even have time to play video games. why would i even try reading volumes of books?

reading is for LOSERS and people still stuck in school! BAHAHAA

ANH: Daniel?, since we've been doing it to each other, let's make it a tradition at INCHEONWON! let's greet by grabbing guys by the ass, and girls by the boobs!
JUSTINE: ooh ooh! me first!

another galpal wants me to shoot her in lingerie. what should i do?!

MIKE: it was crazy how many people i met through that cambo group.
ANH: yeah, but you can only count on a few. the rest are fillers... like fried rice at a Korean BBQ that's not All-You-Can-Eat!

130321
"Which movie was Ryan Gosling sexiest in?"
...
ANH: DRIVE.

do i have to move to thailand to put a smile on your face?

JUSTINE PHAM... nerdy gamer, career student, with legs and thighs, who's good with her hands!

"elle est le monde qu'on superpose a ton regard pour t'empecher de voir la verite."
...
SNIPER - jugement dernier

"la lune est belle quand elle sourit dans la nuit bleue...
quand je te vois, quand je te sens, quand j'parle de toi, seul.
quand j't'imagine, quand j'rembobine, quand je t'aime, seul."
...
BRICE CONRAD

jebus, how is AMAZON so BLAZIN' FAST at delivering everything?!

130323
again, inviting you to dinner doesn't mean i'm interested; so stop agreeing to go out! i just want you to try those BRISKETS! INCHEONWON!

that awkward moment when you see a new facebook group shot and think, "hey! i thought he died!".

just mistaken RED ROBIN for RED LOBSTER. i just don't eat enough american food. BAHAHAA

130325
wait, is this the mexican border?! that's what happens when i take the carpool lane. i easily miss exits!

"Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 comes with 50GB Dropbox storage FREE for 2 years"
...
yeah, you heard right, Jeff Poh?! WOOHOO!

i cannot trust roommates with my belongings unless they're close friends... or friends-with-benefits.

to those who keep scratching their phone screens... STOP carrying your keys in the same pocket!

RAGE... something bipolar women blame on their monthly period.

DRAMA... something you should take to your MAMA!

K.Y... something you clean your contacts with.
...
DON: i knew that was the right use for it! yayYEAH!

NEPHEW: uncle! uncle! can you play FADELA?!
...
BAHAHAA ethan knows what's up! this is how you should wake up from a REAL party!

that awkward dude was raised to be ashamed of anything pornographic. i bet he feels shameful about showering NUDE too! WEIRRRD!

how do you gently UNFRIEND a lame person without hurting their feelings? what if he's a sensitive dude... who's not gay?

"Anhjun Lozfen was at Incheonwon BBQ House"
...
alright, facebook makes it sound like i hit INCHEONWON every day! nooo, it's every OTHER day!

can i just LIKE Tenzin Tibetan RoZa?? you're just too DAEBAK, girly!

130327
ANH: uncle don has boobies!
NEPHEW: uncle rich.

NEPHEW: auntie kitty eats guys she wants to marry!
ANH: she's half human, half cat, ALL DEMON!

sonuvaBEEEEP! ugly adorkable TAEYEON has an INSTAGRAM account?!

extra 50GB of DROPBOX space FREE from SAMSUNG, now another 23GB from HTC?! WANG DAEBAK!

only a select few tech-savvy girls like Jom Naknakorn? would know how to utilize DROPBOX to its full potential.

BAHAHAA dating sites don't work! get out there and grab REAL people!

130328
some dumb-dumbs are drifting nearby. it's 12:45 am, grow up mofos.

an FWB didn't want me to record her with my webcam. she didn't know i set up a spycam.

130329
DAVID COOK: My main gripe I have about Instagram is that people tend to gravitate towards the same retro look and claustrophobic feel. A lot of Instagram photos are like photojournalism which I love, but many times the effect tends to overpower, reducing dynamics and making things the same/bland. Instagram is like the Chef Boyardee of photos in that it was good a long time ago, but then you realize there is not much difference between Spaghetti and Beefaroni and why is everything red.

ANH: yep, new service provider; $35 a month, 300 minutes, unlimited data and text. yayYEAH!
DON: and no contracts?
ANH: yeah, i'm done with commitments! i'm done with JOY!

"i miss you, but you're not mine."
...
LIKE LIKE thanks a million, girly!

i like it when peeps delete comments when they "can't handle the truth!"

HUNGWEEE! briskets... INCHEONWON!

130331
DON: so, are you gonna eat lunch? i have something for you.
ANH: fine, if i must! what is it?
DON: FOOD, dumbass!

ANH: did you get to eat french food on your flight back?
DON: no, it was just plain food, not plane food.

DON: KITTY is my BFF.
ANH: "Big Fat Friend"!

HELP! does anyone have any part-time opening in sales/customer service or restaurant? an ugly galpal of mine needs part-time work!

130302
ANH: I don't really like this one. perhaps her hair makes her look boring.
NEPHEW: it's her face.

EX: I actually don't like pho.
...
sonuva... who ever says that?! had to kick her to the curb in a jiffy.

this one fool made it a habit to insult his friends to be "funny", but when I shot him with my own dose, that shut him up. karma's a bitch, peaches!

130303
CHARLIE: I know you always wanted to fire me.
JOSH: that's because you stink at this job.
CHARLIE: so I stink? I stink? the guy who always made mrs. jin smile on chinese new year?
JOSH: mrs. JIN is korean.
CHARLIE: she's what?
...
TOWER HEIST

dad should stop being so paranoid. classic doomsday prepper status right there. 'NOYING!

MIKE: but why can't butchy lesbians leave the hot ones alone?
ANH: they wish some girls were gay too.
MIKE: like gay guys trying to convert straight guys. they need to stop.
ANH: haa DELUSIONAL!

nice, just squirted lemon all over myself. at least it smells GREAT!

130304
he was considering becoming a bartender although he won't drink? seriously?! it's like having a surgeon fainting at the sight of blood!

like sleeping, gambling is for LOSERS!

130306
STEPHEN: If I were a fly, I would land on you... because you are the sh*t!

"OWW! why d'you hit me?! because i'm pretty, even my father doesn't hit me!"
...
Tell Me You Love Me | kseries

130308
"my ex owned a parakeet. that fcuking thing would never shut up... but the bird was nice!"
...
Anthony Jeselnik

NEWS: man stabbed during a threesome after he refused to switch positions.
...
"that's what happens whenever you bring a knife to a sword fight."
...
anthony jeselnik

130309
over did it with the hairspray. I can't move my eyebrows.

130310
how can anyone possibly get foot fungus? do you shower and sleep in your shoes?!

THE BIBLE... great work of fiction retold on the HISTORY channel.

you can believe whatever you wanna believe. just make sure i'm on top.

"you like free stuff? you like free stuff because you're poor, right?"
...
Love Story in Harvard | kseries

130311
"she can't think rationally. she's been robbed of her blanket. she just wants any blanket, thick or thin."
...
Tell Me You Love Me | kseries
...
truth about anyone jumping into their next relationship too soon.

130313
when they're sad, they always return to the person who first loved them.

130314
"a wise man should not look at the world and have sadness in his eyes. he should go CRAZY!"
...
MOHAMMAD RAOOFI
...
a complete stranger just quoted me this from a persian scripture. DAEBAK!

130315
if your first language is english, but you still find spanish difficult to learn. languages are definitely not your forte!

130316
I just cannot hangout with one race of people. it gets extremely boring.

130317
wonder how much skills HYORIN has. she looks like she'd be open for anything... HYORIDE!

JOY... all legs, so much skills. JOYRIDE!
KITTY... all boobs, no skills. KIDDY-RIDE!

if you cannot hold onto any relationship for more than 6 months, don't bother changing your status! BAHAHA it gets old! some people never learn.

Anhjun Lozfen has changed his relationship status to "It's complicated with her sister".

I'm terrible with dog breeds; I just know they're delicious.

130318
JEFF: saw the EIFFEL tower at night. went to Japanese restaurant run by Chinese who was playing KPOP as background music!
...
BAHAHA such diversity in PARIS!

DON: I used those foam earplugs you gave me, but they always fall off.
ANH: use some sanitizing lotion, they'll stick... or have enough ear wax.
DON: oh, I have plenty of ear wax!

if I accidentally posted on your wall mistaking it for mine, I apologize, it will happen again!

130319
"to make a mistake is human, but to really fcuk things up, you need a computer."
...
CYBER CITY

130320
19 Kids and Counting
...
seriously, what's the point of having that many? are they building an army?

130322
j'essaye de sentir bien quand tout va mal. je dit OH LA!

always the butterfaces with the banging bodies. UNFAIR!

130323
YOONJI: you know why korean cows are so famous?
ELI: cuz they're like us? haa
...
KPOP TASTY ROAD

130324
"l'homme intelligent est celui qui se demande des comptes a lui meme."
...
PM pbsl

130328
"why don't you go out with a fun wench like me instead of searching for a beauty?"
...
Slave Hunters | kseries

"I could break your wings to force you to stay with me, but that would be greedy."
...
Love Story in Harvard | kseries

130329
Omo, I thought today was Saturday. I'm from THE FUTURE!

"we prefer CHUMCHURUM soju cuz it tastes the least like poison."

130330
"si tu veux etres actrice, tu dois avoir quelque chose que les autres n'ont pas."
...
THE ARTIST

ANH: I don't eat the meat with tendons or veins.
DON: stupid excuse! It's like saying you don't eat eggs with egg shells! Just eat the fcukin' egg shells!

HENCHMAN: good luck on your date!
MEGAMIND: I will!
HENCHMAN: that didn't even make any sense!