131101
KY: my boyfriend was so confused when we left. haa is Don? VIET or JAP? is he married or not? is his wife REAL?!
ANH: i. dunno... he's under witness protection program.
INCHEONWON!
...
ANH: hey sarvy! you want (picks up a small grilling piece of small intestines) Don?'s thing?
DON: INAPPROPRIATE!
...
Ky?: hey, how do you know when the spicy pork is done?
ANH: when it's the way filipinos like their meat... BURNT!
Jonas?: INAPPROPRIATE!
131102
Don?: most of what ANH posts online isn't true, he's just paraphrasing.
Ky?: haa but that's still the TRUTH!
...
BAHAHAA i can't argue with that!
SERA [nine muses]
...
didn't know koreams could be this ugly.
legendary Ky Le? and Don Vu? in one episode?!
...
JEFF: mind... BLOWN!
SANTA: they DO exist!
"LOL nO, mY r3pLi3s R dis ANnoYin6 cUz am t3xtin6 U fR0m a 9 di6it f0ne!"
...
haa upgrade anyone?
don't stop typing when you see me typing cuz...
"i don't wanna miss a thing!"
131104
JEFF: TROUBLEMAKER's new album is GOOD!
ANH: yes, that mini album is BOMB!
ALFONSO: like INCHEONWON.
APPLE: and SAMSUNG!
"APPLE uses SAMSUNG screens, then sues them for copyright."
...
whaaat? evil empire, indeed. another reason to steer away from them.
hungry for kyungri!
...
NINE MUSES
131105
just confirmed it, Don? does NOT hate INCHEONWON. he just cannot handle that much beef... like a MAN!
131106
KANG SORA promoting ICING
...
this is the rice wine soda INCHEONWON VP treated me to. tastes so harmless, a worker there didn't even know it had liquor! BAHAHAA
KANG SORA | "ugly alert" kseries
...
be nice to the duckglies in high school; they tend to get the last laugh in the real world.
FEM: Don's wife doesn't look Japanese to me though. haa but then again, some japanese look totally different from what i thought.
ANH: well, some faces are never meant for TV. it burns my eyes just thinking about her.
ANH: Don? is a japanese surfer with zero skills. he even attempted snowboarding. good god, with his brittle body? can you say "no health insurance"? that clown never graduated from the bunny slope.
FEM: haa that sounds painful. I never graduated from the bunny slope skiing!
ANH: haa you get a free pass! he's supposedly... a man.
FEM: Don? tried surfing?
ANH: no, with his agility, sharks would catch him before he catches a wave.
FEM: sweat dreams!
FEM: *sweet haa
ANH: haa don't mind if i do!
131107
do both with SOYU; boobing and legging. no more need for coitus. hot steamy vaginas are overrated!
131108
i apologize for deleting those who haven't been active online. i assumed you... died.
131111
alright, just got home from work... let's get to work!
colleague: haa you look happy working, smiling at your desk.
ANH: oh really? it's the MUSIC!
...
MISS A, peaches!
131113
"According to a survey done last year by SelectSpecs.com, glasses make men up to 75 percent more sexually attractive to women. In fact, men were considered sexier, more employable, trustworthy and intelligent when wearing glasses."
...
meninsider.com
131114
absolutely no work-after-work for me tonight! i'mma give myself a frakkin' break for once!
jeff just mentioned tacos, yet i'm craving ALERTO's scrumptious carne asada BURRITO!
female wingmen are the SHIITAKE!
regular mushrooms taste much better than poisonous ones.
YOUTUBE Downloader only NOW can download videos in 1080p?! (131115)
been raping the REPLAY button on GD's "ROD" and Taeyang's "RINGA" back to back. jebus, i need to sleep like all of the other losers.
131116
i unsubscribe from youtube channels that won't let me download. SHARE, dammit!
131118
don't know how long i can bite my tongue until i blow up.
slow breaths... you don't wanna see me angry. peeps usually think they're about to get murdered when i am.
i hardly ever slam doors as well; that's frakkin' immature and never helps.
i'm about to commit a coup d'etat.
it's not the ones who easily snap at everything, but the ones who suppress their anger that you should beware of. listening to unrivaled KPOP to calm myself down...
those mofos who only talk to you the first day you add them, then never to be heard from again... thanks, auntie!
i really don't know how to react when anyone announces someone's passing; i don't lack compassion, just empathy.
...
DON: you really don't know how to LOVE!
my own korean girl band would be called NDORFNZ.
lemme know when you're single again. i'm waiting, girly.
i'm sorry for the peeps who never have anybody visiting their page.
the dood can't even lift a mere 20-pound box. useless T-REX arms!
JEFF: KPOP is great for the gym! running on treadmill and pumping iron to ballads.
the dood is too sensitive; he may just faint at the sight of blood. he cannot be my accomplice; his useless T-REX arms cannot carry a BODY!
BOARDWALK EMPIRE... episode 1
...
produced by Mark Wahlberg & Martin Scorcese
...
This mobster series is extremely well-made
131119
GALPAL: omo, why are korean celebs sooo charismatic?!
ANH: fashion-sense and GREAT dentists!
131120
anyone still using VERIZON, you are being fcuked sideways.
HTC one V
...
always drop my phone and always wonder why the screen never breaks...
it's GORILLA GLASS! haa failed again iPHONE!
women turning guys down left and right. then they get desperate and marry anyone they can find... HILARIOUS!
asian girls on dating sites are not the ones asian guys even consider attractive... but to white guys, they're HOT! BAHAHAA meh!
you mean to tell me facebook now allows you to tag more than 6 peeps per comment?! WOOHOO!
LIM KIM
...
Melon Music Awards' Best New Artist!
my name is really just 3 letters. how can one fcuk it up and spell it "AHN"?
131122
my KPOP dealer, kandyman Jeff Poh?, fell off his treadmill when i linked him to this shot of HELLOVENUS at the BIFF red carpet. seriously, LIME?! jizzed
i shall now officially change my name to: INCHEONWanh!
131123
ANH: ooh, can i have some of those chicken tenders?
CHEF: sure, but those are for kids.
131125
DON: jess is like a russian hitwoman; before you can even say anything, she'd silence you with one shot from under the table.
ANH: she'd shoot your mexican neighbor's rooster before it even gets the chance to wake you up *POOF* feathers flying everywhere!
JESS: (holds the rooster by the ankles) we have LUNCH!
it's absolutely frakkin' crazy what kinds of quality people you can get to know on facebook just by opening up.
131126
DON: aww come on, ANH! you know this song!
DAVID: eww
ANH: dunno Don?, i left the 80s... in the 80s.
don't ever doubt me, when i say someone is a quality friend, they ARE a quality friend!
JEFF: between those two friends of yours, it's like a real life Kdrama!
ANH: omo, more like a japanese HORROR!
week-long conversations with those who take forever to reply are LAME! you forget what the original topic was about. BAHAHAA ugh
worldly kpop-loving foodies UNITE, peaches!
131127
WOMAN: is it a part-time job?
MAN: no, working for me will take up your entire life. in exchange, you'll be allowed to look at my face EVERYDAY.
WOMAN: omo, my whole life is not even worth your handsome face!
...
BEL AMI dramedy kseries
...
BAHAHAA IU takes her comedic role sooo seriously! i still can't believe what she did with his toothbrush!
i just received a friend request from Trial Offer. is that a real person? should i be concerned?
"parent pressures gay son to change" (newspaper header)
...
wow, "if stupidity was fatal"... humanity cannot be this ignorant; brainwashing cannot be this simple!
you know what's obnoxious...? the word OBNOXIOUS! 'NOYIN'!
thank you google chrome for losing all of my tabs, once again.
i've come to terms that most of the peeps i meet at parties are total BORES without their alcohol. why does socializing have to feel like such a chore?!
131128
just watched THE AVENGERS again... it's technically THE HULK's SHOW! BAHAHAA LIKE LIKE
with the exception of a very few, korean-americans are really just not korean enough for me. bleh...
store owner: wow, are you a singer?!
ANH: uh no, but i don't hold back with KARAOKE! haa
JEFF: omo, NORAEBANG!
no turkey, thank-you. we're just not that american. haa
"Why bring a child into this world?" video
...
i keep asking myself this question
...
"this world needs more good guys."
131129
i just ran out of peaches to tag.
king TUPAC's hologram performs at COACHELLA 2012
...
"ain't nothing but a gangsta party"
131107
Almond Joy & Kit Kat
...
my two favorite peaches
131108
SON: you should go to church and confess for your sins.
MOTHER: I'm Buddhist!
...
HEIRS Kseries
MASAKI: will I be a burden to you?
KEIGO: yes, a very precious burden.
...
God, Give Me More Time JSERIES
131111
seems a lot like most peeps have no idea how to grill beef intestines right! EPIC FAIL!
131114
colleague: your ex should have her DDDs reduced! too big, she can't exercise!
ANH: military-grade sport bras.
131115
Yahoo Messenger
...
fem olleague: so who asked you to come in? lady boss or guy boss?
ANH: guy boss, the socially awkward one.
fem colleague: BAHAHAA OK this window. this conversation never happened.
ANH: I'mma screenshoot this and make it a wallpaper.
ANH: can you find me a shot of a brunette instead?
brunette Cassie: why are you discriminating against blondes, huh?
ANH: cuz brunettes are sexier.
brunette Cassie: true.
HURRAY for eyecandies in the workplace! love those uglies who are fashionable!
131116
I absolutely must filter and edit my photos before sharing them online; that includes people chewing their food... and upskirts.
131118
I have to say, there are very few jazz sounds I can stand. I fall asleep easily.
131119
in one ear, out the other. why so SERIOUS? can't hear you, music is more important!
I'm always happy to help others, I seldom feel like it's a burden or a duty.
BRIAN: you like wireless or corded phones?
ANH: nothing better than corded cell phones!
131121
my fem colleague thinks she's a little fat. if you call having some mad curves to grab onto, I strongly disagree!
"c'est fou comme on se ressemble. quand tu tombes, moi je pleure; quand j'ai frois, toi tu tembles..."
...
SNIPER
so many people make promises, but don't deliver. I always under-promise, then BAM! I over-deliver! be more professional, slackers.
131122
episode 6... the governor is BACK!
131123
HOST: you're very lucky, my cousin didn't come with just one, but THREE girls!
ANH: haa I'm not here for the girls! I'm here for the FOOD!
131127
I need a more powerful phone. I could update statuses 4 times as fast and as many.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Saturday, November 2, 2013
SKITS OCTOBER
131001
little do people know, i'm a workaholic; i just make it look easy. getting things done, peaches!
sorry, i don't read books; extremely short attention span. the only things i care to read are mangas and subtitles.
jebus, home from my long 6-min drive from work! now, to continue my OTHER work... BAHAHAA
mind over matter, you're only tired if you allow yourself to be. snap out of it, sleeping is for LOSERS!
colleague: isn't yours a racing car?
ANH: yes, but i use it to pick up my ugly little nephew! yayYEAH!
is it that difficult to find a roommate to rent with... when black?
GALPAL: my friend is with Iglesia di Cristo. if she wasn't that churchie, i would've brought her to you. LOL
ANH: haa stay away from those brainwashers! i'm already with Iglesias di Enrique.
GALPAL: i don't have a dentist since i quit work; i have to resort to brushing regularly now -_-
Nanashi Sama?: oh noooes! i'm japanese, my teeth are hopeless.
...
JAPS... ASIA'S BRITISH!
the most uninteresting people are the ones still reposting the same lame profile pics from BEFORE they invented cameras!
"those who think they know everything learn... nothing."
...
Anhjun Lozfen 3:33
i don't pick my friends in terms of how much money they have (fcuk that superficial sh*t); you can be a hopeless hobo like Don Vu?, and i'd still treat you like a human being... if you deserve it.
131002
ANH: most of these facebook people aren't real.
DON: for REALZ, yo!
JON "cornellius" Bert Dela Cruz?... the one selfless cambodian you can truly depend on... 99% of the time.
i enjoy making corrections that are worse than the typo.
JEFF: CCM company has GREAT composers for 5DOLLS, DAVICHI, T-ARA... never a dud like the others.
ANH: you mean like those american bands?
JEFF: Bruno Mars is the only talented one.
ANH: that's a good band.
ANH: go home, brian!
BRIAN: i am :)
ANH: don't text and drive
BRIAN: LOL
ANH: don't laugh and drive
BRIAN: i'm home! wassup?
ANH: eating, can't talk.
ANH: so you will show up to INCHEONWON? you must crave it.
KELLEY: i do, i talk about korean BBQ at work all the time!
ANH: kelley nagano, you ARE korean!
GALPAL: i was asked, "what are you doing this friday evening?" haa i got excited thinking they wanted to hang out with me. then they asked, "why don't you come to bible study with us?"
ANH: jebus, tell them you live in the gym. haa i'm sure you would fist fight over pulling hair.
GALPAL: haa boxing is just cardio!
ANH: HARDCORE ^
"i'm always on the go. i ain't got no time for no relationsh*t."
...
EMINEM
i keep telling myself to derezz about half of the peeps on my list, but i never do; i sometimes get to know the "lame" ones and find out how much cooler they really are! haa some peaches just ROCK!
ANH: no pressure if you're DIETING! "just a salad." haa
GALPAL: nooo, i'm never on a diet; i love meat.
...
BAHAHAA too easy!
ANH: a regular bottle of soju is $2-3 at H-MART.
JEFF: what?! a bottle of soju is $10 at the market here in CANADA! food, gas, electronics, cars, housing, women... pretty much everything cost more compared to the states!
ANH: jebus, MOVE! we have cheaper women here.
131004
SAMANTHA: are you gonna marry amanda when you get older?
NEPHEW: no, why?
SAMANTHA: so why are you playing with her so much?
NEPHEW: cuz she's fun.
...
8-year olds conversing... haa no really, guys can have galpals too!
"i cannot see your photo, it's too big. can you send me a smaller one?"
...
how about "fit to page" or "zoom out"?
haa computer illiteracy is HILARIOUS!
NAEUN should seriously transition to acting. her ugliness would easily crank up viewership for any kseries!
(FRIDAY)
Brittany?: when is INCHEONWON tonight?
ANH: oh, it's not tonight, it's tomorrow!
Brittany: goddammit!
...
BAHAHAA someone craves it badly! one sincere reaction.
BERNADETTE: okay, i need a DD cuz i wanna have fun, eat, and DRINK!
ANH: yes, bring a driver! you can have them wait in the car.
BERNADETTE: i'm not interested, he's like a brother to me. BAHAHAA
...
brother zone < friend zone
BERNADETTE: most of my best friends are male. i love boys... simple, non-dramatic.
ANH: i love girls... complex, overly-dramatic.
COMPUTER ILLITERACY: a user's ability to become unable to read, write, think, and otherwise perform rational action once they have touched a computer.
...
in this day and age, there is no excuses! you HAVE to know at least as much as a 5-year old! BAHAHAA
131005
i invited stephen; he clicked MAYBE; i blocked; so i basically made the decision for him. BAHAHAA
there is no event uneventful with LEGENDARY David Cook? and/or Don Vu?.
neighbor: how are you doing tonight, sir?
ANH: oh, you don't have to call me SIR, it's so impersonal. call me Mr. SIR.
TERRENCE: how often do you go to INCHEONWON?
ANH: every other day? haa kidding, it only seems that often on facebook; it's like my having a girlfriend every other month.
ANH: yes, my ex has DDDs.
KY: wait, is KITTY her real name? is she real?!
JON: yes, she is! i've met them!
BARNEY: she is legen--wait for it... DAIRY!
...
BERNADETTE: BAHAHAA Too funny! You must love em dairy!
ANH: everyone knows i'm a LEGSMAN! that's why i couldn't hold on to them--her.
pretentious alpha males racing, revving their engines can be heard from miles away! kids and juvenile grown-ups are hilarious.
131006
last night was UBER eventful! thanks a million for David Cook?, Meeksy Meeks?, and Jonas Guarin for showing up! DAEBAK!
i forget that the ones who never reply to my invites may just fear new faces. in that case... ADIOS, MUTHAFCUKAS!
if Jeff Poh? was residing in the OC, he'd be promoting legendary INCHEONWON KBBQ too!
KY: how did you meet Jeff Poh??! he knows all the good food places!
ANH: by tagging my russian brother, Ryan Grotsky?, on a KPOP ugly.
...
haa yes, tagging is extremely beneficial!
ANH: if David Cook? is the quality david, what does that make David AweSom??
ANH: the OTHER AWESOME david! DAEBAK!
MEATING: noun. the act of coming together for a meat-eating meeting at... INCHEONWON!
usually after 2 invites with no replies, they get blacklisted. Ky Le? would reply BEFORE i even create the event! haa pumpkin juice FTW, peaches!
i eat vegans wrapped in vegetarians for breakfast.
ANH: looks like Jonas has enjoyed the infamous raspberry wine/soju at INCHEONWON! DAEBAK, KY!
KY: Thanks for inviting us! You were so much fun! Jonas Guarin is now a pumpkin juice as well. Hehe
"don't you ever get sad?"
...
being sad is for LOSERS!
peeps who hate facebook are just private and/or overwhelmed by the amount of information their little minds cannot process.
AT&T U-verse does not carry MNet America?! DEAL BREAKER!
BERNADETTE: you have so much energy!
ANH: i'm like KPOP; sensory overload.
131007
ANH: omo omo, Ky?! it's sooo nice to have you here! (bear hugs, turns to boyfriend) hey, and you must be JONAS! hi, i'm--
JONAS: oh, i know who you are, i've seen you on facebook.
one truck i don't mind driving behind from is UPS. those guys are BLAZIN' FAST!
Anhjun Lozfen added new photos to the album INCHEONWON BLACKLIST.
SUZY [MISS A] bonafide goddess!
...
uglies like her make me smile whenever i see them; joyful demeanor.
SUZY at the airport 130913 (video)
...
lucky sons of peaches... i would be screaming like a pre-pubic schoolgirl!
if you only know GANGNAM STYLE, you need to turn the other way; i don't want anything to do with you. BAHAHAA
JEFF: i'm the candyman!
ANH: i'm the brisketman!
KITTY: i'm legenDAIRY!
Don?: i'm mexican.
to the host of DINERS, DRIVE-INS, and DIVES... how about some REAL food?
...
BRITTANY: haa white people food!
all other asian countries are trying to attain SOUTH KOREA's level of excellence.
i avoid american music award shows like the PLAGUE!
ANH: hey, she enjoys S&M.
DON: and I enjoy M&M.
ANH: haa frakkin' G-rated white american.
DON: and we enjoy Creme Brulee.
ANH: your italian is off.
DON: i am a REAL american.
ANH: from mexico.
ANH: haa fcuk that! i'mma hang at don's crib!
Don?: my bachelor pad, peaches!
Don's wifey: *ahem*
RICH: i'm happy, but i always look sad.
LANG: *yawn*
ANH: i'm like KPOP; sensory OVERLOAD!
JOY: LEGGGS!
DON: i'm still texting from a phone booth.
Fujie Miyatsuka: haa JAP FAIL!
RICH: bluetooth receiver FAIL... into my mouth.
JON: DEEPTHROAT!
DON: she voted for my daughter more times than you! oh yeah!
ANH: haa i don't even vote for my own country!
ANH: me getting sick of briskets? it's like saying you're sick of sushi.
DON: wish I could eat sushi as much as you eat INCHEONWON.
ANH: hey, i don't eat the restaurant itself, geek.
DON: haa you might as well!
*News Report: Half of INCHEONWON is now gone. ANH was last seen... hungry. BAHAHAA
NOTE: if all of my posts are too overwhelming for some, you can avoid them by blocking me!
Kelley?: i am a woman, don -_-
DON: with a baby face! she belongs with the PEANUTS gang.
ANH: dunno what you're talking about. i wasn't raised here; everything is better in FRANCE... even the PEANUTS gang!
DON: in french, they say "PENWAH".
ANH: BAHAHAA screw you sideways, whoresaint!
131008
jebus, another 4 tables booked tonight! satisfying brisket lovers 100 peeps at a time!
...
Ky Le?: that means more pumpkin JUICE! ROR
i should always make sure to mention "invited +1 ONLY" for INCHEONWON.
like don's wallet, seating is TIGHT!
DANIEL MOON: Anhjun Lozfen... best promoter EVERRR! ^^
GALPAL: how are cambodians like? i never met one.
ANH: meh, the girls are like filipinas... just more fake.
DON: my breasts are REAL!
ANH: FCUK DA PO-- i meant, "fcuk don politely."
DON: haa you're anything, BUT polite!
ANH: gomenasai desuka...
DON: "am i sorry?"?
hope there's parking. thank jebus it's TUESDAY!
Crystal?: i was gonna make chocolate chip cookies for Don?.
ANH: i think that's the only reason he's still your friend.
PHILIP: so what do you do for fun, anh?
ANH: well... incheonwon, kpop, video games, drawing, and photographing my galpals nude.
Tara?: it really doesn't feel like tuesday here at INCHEONWON.
ANH: no, it's FRIDAY before HUMPDAY!
waitress: when i worked at CHAMSUTGOL and it closed at 10pm, we would come to INCHEONWON to eat.
...
haa one strong testimony! give in to the dark side.
BERNADETTE: my friend thinks i sleep around with guys! wassup with that?!
ANH: haa psh, she thinks you got game. need a place to crash tonight?
GALPAL: i cannot believe how much energy you have with so little sleep!
ANH: i feed off people's company; natural high.
131009
Philip Yim is now my brisket buddy; this chap can eat a cow... like a COW!
i have to figure out how to stop saying "boob" cuz that won't sit well if it slips at work with them uglies!
waiters happy to serve you, non-existent at $10 KBBQs. BAHAHAA
...
Bernadette?: I used to go to one pretty often. It's $8.99 per person if it's just the two of you. LOL the meat is okay, but its really smokey and dirty in there.
ANH: and you only get your grill changed once for free IF you can catch the waiter! haa
BERNADETTE: I just spoke to Philip? on the phone. he wants to go back next week. omigod, what a fatty.
ANH: eh, don't feel pressured to keep up with us; you can just have the vegetable sides. BAHAHAA
BERNADETTE: i have guy friends who are still virgins and don't masturbate. how innocent.
ANH: wow, that's sad and pathetic. i wanna get my friend laid, but he's not a real man; too eccentric.
BERNADETTE: aww, there are weird girls too!
ANH: not even weird girls want him.
to those you cannot get outta the house, stop trying; if they wanna "live" in solitary confinement, so be it.
ANH: i would hang out with him sometimes, but it's a hassle picking him up. he would take you out... by bus.
BERNADETTE: nooo, i hate buses!
ANH: yes, they smell like Don?'s natural cologne "Eau de Musk".
those who take themselves so seriously need to get slapped in the face... with a BIG FISH!
131010
GALPAL: i want your KPOP girls, yet i am STRAIGHT!
ANH: hey, we could try GEN KBBQ when Philip? is ready!
GALPAL: LOL just let me know like a week ahead of time.
ANH: if you miss it, i'll invite you to... INCHEONWON!
ANH: SHINHYE should PARK herself in my pants!
GALPAL: LOL she'd have to marry you first.
ANH: damn dem kristians!
131011
David Cook?: Anhjun, you have more talent in the finger hangnail that you clip off then most people have in their entire existence.
...
wow, words of praise coming from a high quality human being who more than earned his title of "david-of-all-trades"! LIKE LIKE
one thing is certain about me, i'm not an employee to put up a front; you'd know quite clearly if i like you or not. NEVER kiss corporate ass, peaches!
i'm popping vitamins with white wine, is that alright?
TWO WEEKS (crime thriller) kseries
...
an absolutely great take on THE FUGITIVE! the lead character has a short time to make his way back for his long lost daughter's surgery. this story has a way to pull on your heartstrings. promises cannot be broken. LEE JOONKI has built himself into an undoubtedly serious actor.
korean english subs > chinese broken english subs
ANH: you really should chat with him, he's easily likeable.
BERNADETTE: LOL i'm really shy, i believe in timing.
ANH: i believe in forceful friending. BAHAHAA
ANH: i know a viet douche who kept bragging that he was born here, but he still was mistaken for a fob.
BERNADETTE: BAHAHAA life FAIL! i actually have friends who went to high school here and still speak fobbish english and dress fobbish. it's the friends they hang out with.
ANH: yes, their own kind... more FOBS! BAHAHAA
ANH: i had to block this chinese "friend" after he tried to get me into a pyramid scam.
GALPAL: you could've just told him you're not interested.
ANH: well, i did not want him to add my friends. i have dumb friends too, you know?
GALPAL: BAHAHAA
GALPAL: i don't expect everyone to be as smart as David Cook; i don't discriminate. haa
ANH: DON gets lost with tech, he doesn't even use ATMs. JAP FAIL!
GALPAL: seriously T.T
ANH: yup, don't get him confused with a GPS either!
GALPAL: he is a caveman.
ANH: looks like one too. haa if i married him, he'd be my useless wife.
ANH: bad english is my pet peeve.
GAL: my english is one of the worst in school. I get Cs and Ds.
ANH: i get Cs and Ds in cup sizes.
131012
GAL: i'm a boob girl. i prefer boobies, man chests. haa
ANH: Don? has Nat-Geo boobs. sorry, I was eating a croissant.
GAL: Have u been to Seaside Bakery? They have crazy croissants!
ANH: ooh, you should let them know. both foodies!
GAL: which one?
ANH: both of don's boobs.
beware of the mofos you meet at drinking parties cuz most of them are awfully boring once the alcohol wears off.
grown-ass juveniles drifting again... performance tires are expensive, morons!
GAL: i take my guyfriend to the more expensive, private strip clubs!
ANH: hook him up with a REAL girl! that's even more private... and expensive.
korean date: my car can smoke your car.
ANH: i'm not an asian woman. wanna try again?
131013
it's all too true that events are only as good as the entire company you're with.
GAL: i've been clubbing with USC chinese. Ferraris, BMWs, Benz... all the girls are boring. you see the wannabe kids dancing and the too-expensive-to-dance girls, all standing. haa
ANH: it's all about image, those types are borefests! haa all those dudes afraid to dance, just gawking at girls; meat market.
GAL: how old is your friend's daughter?
ANH: slightly older than you.
some peeps are just not tech-savvy whatsoever. they even manage to fcuk up a MAC; no brand is safe with them! try owning any car without ever maintaining it, and see what happens. JEBUS!
COUSIN: your car is a TOYOTA hybrid, right?
ANH: sure, one with paddle shifters, sport suspensions, and 18" wheels!
...
i bet he'd also have trouble differentiating a SAMSUNG note from an iPAD... or a filipino from a cambo. BAHAHAA
Bernadette? is extremely good at replying ASAP; truly reliable.
Kelley? replies once a month... or when she smells BRISKETS!
ANH: other than messages, Don? fails at replying to texts as well.
GAL: haa is he still using the same phone?
ANH: yes, whichever payphone he can find; they're scarce.
Fannie? is online again? eww...
ANH: i do like those red UK phone booths. i want one in my room.
GAL: haa how would you fit the booth in your room?
ANH: i will sleep standing up.
FRIEND: i don't care for breasts bigger than B-cups.
...
unfortunately, he's dating a girl with D's.
be careful what you don't wish for!
...
ANH: i don't want anyone like SUZY.
you choose to follow those who interest you; facebook is quite effective in building stronger bonds.
i'm not quite a foodie since i don't hunt much, but i do appreciate great food!
Jess is a hermit who loves PEOPLE!
ANH is a vegetarian who loves BRISKETS!
...
contradictions
the more popular chinese/viet restaurants are, the less sanitary. it's like they stopped caring about their patrons. had food poisoning at least 4 times, so please refrain from inviting me to most of them.
131014
i know some fobs too, but not much in common. haa
in between is where it's comfortable; not too white, not too asian.
when they're using the same rag to clean the floor for your table, you know you should reconsider ordering from the menu.
HEIRS (dramedy) kseries
...
starring legendary actors, LEE MINHO & PARK SHINHYE
...
this must be the most DAEBAK lead role pairing EVERRR!
ANH: gawking at those bodacious blondes at huntington beach in episode one, yet all i wanted was SHINHYE!
FEM: haa that's cuz you're drawn to asian girls!
ANH: hey, that's not true. i'm attracted to brunettes too... who look asian-ish... like KATY PERRY!
SHINHYE: how are these american girls so well developed? is it their diet?
...
their dietitian is Dr BEVERLY HILLS!
my closest friends are ACES. i don't kick it with wannabes, jackasses, and the likes. they are selfless thoughtful model human beings.
KUDOS, David Cook?, Don Vu?, Jess Nguyen?, and candyman Jeff Poh?!
(just to name a few)
i keep changing my name to hide from-- haa no, i don't care who checks up on me! unless they're colleagues, that's a nono.
in my dialogues, i'm rewording to FEM cuz GALPAL is too long!
perhaps, just F'.
BOARDWALK EMPIRE
...
one of the few good american series that keep me interested.
the assassination/murder sequences are brutal.
i always immediately fall asleep trying to watch anything in bed!
and peeps think i'm insomniac. haa
Nikki Wang Daebak? is a selfless thoughtful model human being AND a MODEL! whaaat?
ANH: a galpal is wondering why i haven't been sending her invites.
FEM: haa she misses you!
ANH: psh, she wants to hook up with you.
FEM: oh LAWWWD!
FEM: you would hate singapore; it's hot and humid. i would daydream, "would it ever snow here?"
ANH: no, the closest thing to snow in your country is in your FRIDGE!
my friends just said i'm a great event planner. wow, i honestly never thought of myself as one. thanks a million, peaches!
...
KY: and PROMOTER!
KY: BAHAHAA Jonas said he wasn't into korean girls until he added you on FB. He likes All your kpop girls pictures and now he likes korean girls!
...
succomb to the dark side, peaches!
"The only thing with 4 legs Koreans do not eat, is the table."
ANH: Bernadette?, you can teach him a few dishes in the kitchen and turn him into DAVID COOKS.
David Cook?: you mean, i could eat my own dishes?!
DAVID: a trick is to put a nice smelling bar of soap in your underwear drawer. It makes all your underwear smell clean.
DAVID: the only thing is... Don? doesn't do karaoke.
ANH: ugh, he doesn't dance either. very white... for a black guy.
FEM: have you had UMESHU or YUZU wine?
ANH: damn you! more goodies?!
FEM: it's... orgazm in a bottle. oh, sorry, plural--
ANH: ORGIES in a bottle!
ANH: dunno if i'm still allergic to calamari or octopus.
DAVID: anh, allergies are serious. so only eat until before you die... then, STOP!
131015
"why is she so dark?"
"she dresses like that, she must sleep around"
"why can't you date your own kind?"
...
you mean, HUMAN? haa whatta... asian parents!
they're frakkin' adding girls from my list whom they've never met in person. i mean, seriously? sooo desperate! this is another reason i don't date men.
131016
Don? is still figuring out how to answer comments... from a PUBLIC PHONE!
ANH: you and your charming wide smile with all of your 42 teeth, ugly!
Fannie?: haa i got all of my wisdom teeth pulled out!
ANH: all 8 of 'em.
GONG SEOYOUNG... the epitome of tall statuesque korean models!
...
thanks a million, candyman Jeff Poh?!
why are all the good looking ones such klutz, and all the smart ones such... gay?
...
lesbionic ex: heyyy!
colleague: you HAVE to dress up for halloween!
ANH: psh, i dress up everyday.
jebus, all of these galpals always sooo lonely and frakkin' sad! snap ouf of it, peaches! look at me, "i don't need a man!"
FEM: I'm so pooped out. Plus my stupid tire today.
ANH: another nail? construction workers secretly work for tire companies!
mexican gardeners with their noisy blowers blowing... nothing.
perhaps just more dirt over... to your CAR!
BERNADETTE: i'm really shy, and i cannot cook to save my life. teehee
don't ever provoke foodies to food-fight; we rather not waste any food.
YVONNE: I am a weird person I always do something very weirded. Lol!!!!!
ANH: i prefer weird peeps anyway; normal peeps are too predictable.
FEM: my former roommate, pot everyday, she's an artist.
ANH: hmm, smoking that, i see...
there's always information and ideas racing through my mind, and i have to write or draw it all down; probably why there's a constant news feed from Anhjun Lozfen!
DISCLAIMER:
all characters appearing in Anhjun Lozfen's dialogues are REAL.
any resemblance to real persons, friended or blocked, is purely intentional.
sure you wanna add me? you'll be trespassing into my mind! even my family members regret it.
BERNADETTE: as long as I don't drive people who smell bad or have bad hygiene, I'm cool!
ANH: oh, in that case, Don might not make it.
BERNADETTE: why doesn't he shower?!
ANH: BAHAHAA you sound so honestly concerned and convinced that he doesn't!
David Cook?: i have never smelled deodorant on don.
BERNADETTE: okay, cool. my car is FULL! SAUSAGE FEST!
DAVID: sausage fest? what is that? is that your restaurant recommendation?
David Cook?: ok, the strategy is, we sing until we can't speak anymore, then we eat beef noodle soup and pancakes and that house chicken stuff at Earthen and then we walk it off a little, then we go drink some boba.
...
THIS is how them koreans kick it!
FEM: I have amazing Ferrari Rocker gelato.
ANH: FERRERO ROCHER! don't you know your spanish?
FEM: omo, kill auto-correct, please!
i like fobs too, i guess... just the ones who are americanized.
Bernadette?: my mom is malaysian, but she's singaporean.
DAVID: You are half Teochew and Half Singaporean. I'm half not Teochew and half not Singaporean. We're like almost family.
So cool...
...
BAHAHAA whattafcuk? i'm sooo confused!
David Cook?: sorry. English is ok too. But I get all excited talking to you guys. Between the 2 of you, I can be exposed to 8 or 9 languages. I'm in love.
...
hardcore linguist right there!
i think i just posted at least a year's worth of status updates... in one night.
your turn...
DAVID: so asian, always fighting over who gets the check.
ANH: i usually pay for my own share... or less.
someone needs to get with this talented selfless thoughtful girl soon cuz gems like bernadette don't stay single for long.
131017
forgive me for bringing 20+ peeps to someone else's party. it will happen again.
just deleted Don? from my tags so i could fit someone else who actually knows how to use facebook.
...
GALPAL: dat... ODOR!
friends' links via facebook expose me to so many good stuff i wouldn't have known otherwise! you know who you are, peaches! LIKE
131018
i never ask my friends what they're doing or how much they're making. i couldn't care any less about that sh*t. what matters is how nice and likeable you are; if you're douchey/bitchy by nature, nothing's gonna change you... please, walk off a cliff.
queen POONEH, dare i say, Alfonso Vergara? is one lucky sonuvaBEEEEP!
so i get this message: "Sorry, this page isn't available."
and it's my own page! haa whaaat?
singer/model KYUNGRI [9MUSES] has legs going up her NECK!
KPOP is candyland, indeed!
hey, don't worry about what others think about you, only ANH's opinion really matters.
do you ever regret commenting on a friend's post cuz some of their friends' replies sound so frakkin' dumb? not even funny, just vulgarly dumb.
why are peeps friends with meatheads?
my ex got her dad's LEGGGS and her mother's mental illness.
ANH: some mexican lady kept talking to Don Vu? in spanish while he was in line. most likely due to his unkempt mexican woman appearance with nat-geo boobs.
FEM: oh man... so graphic.
ANH: NAT-GEOgraphic!
this one guy i know does not sing nor does he dance; that means he very much sucks in bed. he probably just lays there and takes it... while crying.
i seldom do this, but when i sever ties with someone, they no longer get to see everyone else cuz i know EVERYBODY!
JESSICA LE: u awesome just the way u r.. stay that way forever
MOM: people who make friends online are rejects nobody wants.
ANH: wait, what does that make me?
my friend lost his ability to smile after he got married.
the only love he gets is... love-handles.
...
DAVID: haa oh nooo, you dee-int! i know who this is!
131019
FRANK: i'd eat anything with four legs!
GALPAL: nooo, i'll try dog meat, but not rabbits... they're our pets!
if you seriously think your time is more valuable than anyone else's, it's not. you're a fcukin' jackass... punctuality is a sign of respect.
if i am late, it's never more than 15 min, yet peeps STILL get bent out of shape. don't worry, you'll get your BRISKETS, peaches!
ELEAH's mom: BAHAHAA you and don have such good chemistry and are so funny together! you should have your own talk show! you HAVE to watch FAMILY GUY!
"i'm sorry we have to leave. there's another party we have to go to."
...
whattafcuk?! if my friends ever said that to me, they'd immediately be BLACKLISTED!
131020
Don?: i'm your designated driver. you better DRINK tonight!
...
next thing i knew, i woke up in vegas with a tiger in the bathroom.
what happened last night?!
random aunt: and what exactly do you do?
ANH: if i told you, i'd have to kill DON.
NEWBIE: what's the occasion for incheonwon?
ANH: seriously? it's INCHEONWON!
NEWBIE: oh, so am i supposed to wrap the meat with the rice sheet?
ANH: haa fcuk the wrapping! stuff your face with briskets, THEN the rice!
131022
Nuengthida Sophon (Noona) [HELLO STRANGER] is even more endearing than Baifern pimchanok. NO CONTEST!
i believe in timing when it comes to the news feed;
there is no way one can keep up with every friend's status updates!
131023
ANH: i'm boobing kitty.
BERNADETTE: What does boobing someone mean?
ANH: squeeze her ginormous boobs together and let loose!
BERNADETTE: LOL What crazy vocabulary you have!
ANH: BAHAHAA pretty much straight forward... and back. repeat. jizzed
HELLO STRANGER (romantic comedy)
...
during their holiday trip to SOUTH KOREA to visit famous kseries shooting locations, an unlikely thai couple find each other.
Chantavit Dhanasevi plays a culturally-clueless, nevertheless fun guy and Nuengthida Sophon is such a JOY to watch!
David Cook?: now, for the love of chocolate chip cookies, can someone tell me who JON is?!
...
ANH: Bert Cruz, please clarify ^
i have "friends" i would RED FLAG for my friends, but if they don't ask me before friending, it's their problem. BAHAHAA i'm sooo soweee!
if you cannot tell me directly, laugh twice for YES, once for NO, and thrice minus once for MAYBE. don't make it complicated.
Pimchanok "Baifern" Lerwisetpibol (a crazy little thing called love)
...
ANH: how can anyone have such a drastic transformation in one film?!
JEFF: mind... BLOWN!
...
haa it pays off to be nice to uglies!
Pimchanok "Baifern" Lerwisetpibol
(a crazy little thing called love)
...
them ugly thai celebs and their never-ending names!
CHAMSUTGOL is a SHAM!
their "free" ice-cream gimmick is included in the check! BAHAHAA
131024
anyone attending, don't forget to BYOB (Bring Your Own Boob)!
no more sad clowns for me! i'mma stick with happy clowns!
GALPAL: your friends are awesome!
...
what does that make me? thanks a million!
it's official, David Cook? will now be known as DAVID ROCKS!
peeps only see what i choose for them to see.
...
Don?: INCHEONWON! jizzed.
Fannie?: BRISKETS! yesss, best cuts of meat EVERRR!
ALFONSO "jimmy fallon" VERGARA: haa that place is BOMB!
VOTE: DON VU, representative for anti-gluttony-free.
like your woman, i'll try your restaurant once, but i'll always return to mine.
...
COMMITMENT
DON: haa seriously? you won't mind me inviting your ex?
ANH: i wanna see if she'd have the guts to show up. i'll make sure she sits at your table so you pay for her.
it's more efficient to abbreviate everyone's name down to just 3 letters.
let's start with DON.
i'll abbreviate Nanashi Sama?'s name down to JAP.
ANH: PINOY, PINAY? clarify, please.
Eddy?: for the love of briskets, i'm not PINOY!
Rosa?: LIIIIES!
131025
i need to grab myself a whole bag of coke!
facebook: so-and-so's birthday is today.
ANH: and...?
unless they're for someone i care about, i really don't do birthdays. meh!
this little white girl was all over my nephew. well played little glass-hopper!
i prefer native asians over american asians; but when it comes to viets, i like them americanized. haa i cannot stand my own people!
Kim Dajeong's husband gave her a GALAXY Note 10.1. to concentrate on her artwork. the perfect gift, indeed!
"it is not a disgrace not to reach the stars, but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for."
...
Benjamin Elijah Mays, Morehouse College President
MIKE: Even the Asians over here have issues; They've spent too much time with Texans.
ANH: haa they think they're white.
MIKE: Impossible... They're like raw Texas fobs, worse than regular fobs.
just bought mom something she will find great use for, just because she certainly more than deserves it.
131026
Naomi?, i don't like this gloomy weather. make it RAIN!
...
NAOMI: haa i like this weather!
ANH: yes, for those contemplating suicide.
i refuse to follow any sport with no female eye-candy.
131027
(called for reservations)
WAITER: oh, you're the one with the camera, right?
ANH: yeah! and you're the one i took shots with!
my 90* turns tend to freak backseat drivers out.
131028
i. need. to. subcribe. to. MAXIM. KOREA!
131030
i'm forcing mom to learn how to swype... cuz typing SUCKS!
131031
ANH and Don? faked an accent at a video store once, and the employee asked in amazement, "oh, are you guys from AUSTRALIA?!"
haa HILARIOUS! dumb americans.
ANH: Don? is my hobo fobo mofo dobo (dog boy).
FEM: haa scooby DOO!
ANH: BAHAHAA yes!
DON: it's scooby DON!
DON's dad: that's my BOY! my talentless BOY!
DON's ex: more like scooby DOODOO!
...
why must exes always hate?
131002
if you can't find me at INCHEONWON, I'm on Facebook.
131004
I still feed my enemies when they starve. go figure.
I should make it clearer that my INCHEONWON events are not kids-friendly. haa drink up, peaches!
131005
ANH: do you guys sell car parts, here?
salesman: go ask for John. he's a skinny tall short guy.
woman: ooh, where did you get that? (coffee) LEE's has really good sandwiches!
ANH: uh... no. only their coffee is good.
...
white people don't know any better.
131006
so what did worrying about the government shutdown do for you? this is why I completely stopped following the news years ago; all it does is spread paranoia.
131007
fem colleague: what are you by the way? I cannot pinpoint it, but looks g--it's good.
...
haa nice save!
131009
CRYSTAL: okay I'm watching Kseries HEIRS and they're portraying Americans to be disgusting dogs with no manners, or just surfer party people! -_- Seriously going to be too much stereotyping.
ANH: Bernadette is American, but she's been koreanized; so she's only half dumb.
131011
TAMMY: we talk often about how much we like having you here. you make our lives much easier . It's a treat having you."
...
encouraging words from upper level
"listen, your last girlfriend was in 7th grade, and you only had her for 3 hours."
...
500 Days of Summer
"nice to meet you! my name is autumn."
...
500 Days of Summer
...
truly lives up to the hype. really great film!
131015
HADDAWAY - what is love
...
headbanging to this at work. haa I need to CLUB!
131017
"you are a beautiful mystery, every note carved into musical history... this is true, everything that you are, the wild earth, a child's birth, sun, moon, and the stars."
...
EPIK HIGH - map the soul
131021
BATMAN: get rid of that stupid S on your chest!
SUPERMAN: it's my people's symbol for HOPE.
BATMAN: HOPE starts with an H, stupid!
...
Pete Holmes Show
...
haa batman is such an ASS!
my keyboard just froze again, so I'm replying via phone. haa I seriously need an upgrade! this is frakkin' LAME!
131022
so my tire is flat, then it's not. I don't get it. "the twilight zone..."
131024
people actually thought I was dressed as a character at Anime Expo when it was just me in my flashy pink shirt.
131025
I want a daughter I can call my own.
131026
WALKING DEAD season 4
131028
colleague: have you ever been to New York?
ANH: haa no, I've lived in Paris. that was enough!
131029
Jebus, colleague just brought these hot chicken and cheese tamales! sooo frakkin' DAEBAK!
I do not care for event caricature artists for hire. they just keep following the same formula; every face they draw resembles everybody else's. uninspired factory work.
131030
happy mother's day, MOM!
...
haa to the one person who deserves everything...
SARANG HAE, OMMA!
131031
"je cherche l'ombre pour danser avec toi, mon amour, sur ces musiques anciennes..." ='(
homemade light and crunchy raisin cookies... DAEBAK!
little do people know, i'm a workaholic; i just make it look easy. getting things done, peaches!
sorry, i don't read books; extremely short attention span. the only things i care to read are mangas and subtitles.
jebus, home from my long 6-min drive from work! now, to continue my OTHER work... BAHAHAA
mind over matter, you're only tired if you allow yourself to be. snap out of it, sleeping is for LOSERS!
colleague: isn't yours a racing car?
ANH: yes, but i use it to pick up my ugly little nephew! yayYEAH!
is it that difficult to find a roommate to rent with... when black?
GALPAL: my friend is with Iglesia di Cristo. if she wasn't that churchie, i would've brought her to you. LOL
ANH: haa stay away from those brainwashers! i'm already with Iglesias di Enrique.
GALPAL: i don't have a dentist since i quit work; i have to resort to brushing regularly now -_-
Nanashi Sama?: oh noooes! i'm japanese, my teeth are hopeless.
...
JAPS... ASIA'S BRITISH!
the most uninteresting people are the ones still reposting the same lame profile pics from BEFORE they invented cameras!
"those who think they know everything learn... nothing."
...
Anhjun Lozfen 3:33
i don't pick my friends in terms of how much money they have (fcuk that superficial sh*t); you can be a hopeless hobo like Don Vu?, and i'd still treat you like a human being... if you deserve it.
131002
ANH: most of these facebook people aren't real.
DON: for REALZ, yo!
JON "cornellius" Bert Dela Cruz?... the one selfless cambodian you can truly depend on... 99% of the time.
i enjoy making corrections that are worse than the typo.
JEFF: CCM company has GREAT composers for 5DOLLS, DAVICHI, T-ARA... never a dud like the others.
ANH: you mean like those american bands?
JEFF: Bruno Mars is the only talented one.
ANH: that's a good band.
ANH: go home, brian!
BRIAN: i am :)
ANH: don't text and drive
BRIAN: LOL
ANH: don't laugh and drive
BRIAN: i'm home! wassup?
ANH: eating, can't talk.
ANH: so you will show up to INCHEONWON? you must crave it.
KELLEY: i do, i talk about korean BBQ at work all the time!
ANH: kelley nagano, you ARE korean!
GALPAL: i was asked, "what are you doing this friday evening?" haa i got excited thinking they wanted to hang out with me. then they asked, "why don't you come to bible study with us?"
ANH: jebus, tell them you live in the gym. haa i'm sure you would fist fight over pulling hair.
GALPAL: haa boxing is just cardio!
ANH: HARDCORE ^
"i'm always on the go. i ain't got no time for no relationsh*t."
...
EMINEM
i keep telling myself to derezz about half of the peeps on my list, but i never do; i sometimes get to know the "lame" ones and find out how much cooler they really are! haa some peaches just ROCK!
ANH: no pressure if you're DIETING! "just a salad." haa
GALPAL: nooo, i'm never on a diet; i love meat.
...
BAHAHAA too easy!
ANH: a regular bottle of soju is $2-3 at H-MART.
JEFF: what?! a bottle of soju is $10 at the market here in CANADA! food, gas, electronics, cars, housing, women... pretty much everything cost more compared to the states!
ANH: jebus, MOVE! we have cheaper women here.
131004
SAMANTHA: are you gonna marry amanda when you get older?
NEPHEW: no, why?
SAMANTHA: so why are you playing with her so much?
NEPHEW: cuz she's fun.
...
8-year olds conversing... haa no really, guys can have galpals too!
"i cannot see your photo, it's too big. can you send me a smaller one?"
...
how about "fit to page" or "zoom out"?
haa computer illiteracy is HILARIOUS!
NAEUN should seriously transition to acting. her ugliness would easily crank up viewership for any kseries!
(FRIDAY)
Brittany?: when is INCHEONWON tonight?
ANH: oh, it's not tonight, it's tomorrow!
Brittany: goddammit!
...
BAHAHAA someone craves it badly! one sincere reaction.
BERNADETTE: okay, i need a DD cuz i wanna have fun, eat, and DRINK!
ANH: yes, bring a driver! you can have them wait in the car.
BERNADETTE: i'm not interested, he's like a brother to me. BAHAHAA
...
brother zone < friend zone
BERNADETTE: most of my best friends are male. i love boys... simple, non-dramatic.
ANH: i love girls... complex, overly-dramatic.
COMPUTER ILLITERACY: a user's ability to become unable to read, write, think, and otherwise perform rational action once they have touched a computer.
...
in this day and age, there is no excuses! you HAVE to know at least as much as a 5-year old! BAHAHAA
131005
i invited stephen; he clicked MAYBE; i blocked; so i basically made the decision for him. BAHAHAA
there is no event uneventful with LEGENDARY David Cook? and/or Don Vu?.
neighbor: how are you doing tonight, sir?
ANH: oh, you don't have to call me SIR, it's so impersonal. call me Mr. SIR.
TERRENCE: how often do you go to INCHEONWON?
ANH: every other day? haa kidding, it only seems that often on facebook; it's like my having a girlfriend every other month.
ANH: yes, my ex has DDDs.
KY: wait, is KITTY her real name? is she real?!
JON: yes, she is! i've met them!
BARNEY: she is legen--wait for it... DAIRY!
...
BERNADETTE: BAHAHAA Too funny! You must love em dairy!
ANH: everyone knows i'm a LEGSMAN! that's why i couldn't hold on to them--her.
pretentious alpha males racing, revving their engines can be heard from miles away! kids and juvenile grown-ups are hilarious.
131006
last night was UBER eventful! thanks a million for David Cook?, Meeksy Meeks?, and Jonas Guarin for showing up! DAEBAK!
i forget that the ones who never reply to my invites may just fear new faces. in that case... ADIOS, MUTHAFCUKAS!
if Jeff Poh? was residing in the OC, he'd be promoting legendary INCHEONWON KBBQ too!
KY: how did you meet Jeff Poh??! he knows all the good food places!
ANH: by tagging my russian brother, Ryan Grotsky?, on a KPOP ugly.
...
haa yes, tagging is extremely beneficial!
ANH: if David Cook? is the quality david, what does that make David AweSom??
ANH: the OTHER AWESOME david! DAEBAK!
MEATING: noun. the act of coming together for a meat-eating meeting at... INCHEONWON!
usually after 2 invites with no replies, they get blacklisted. Ky Le? would reply BEFORE i even create the event! haa pumpkin juice FTW, peaches!
i eat vegans wrapped in vegetarians for breakfast.
ANH: looks like Jonas has enjoyed the infamous raspberry wine/soju at INCHEONWON! DAEBAK, KY!
KY: Thanks for inviting us! You were so much fun! Jonas Guarin is now a pumpkin juice as well. Hehe
"don't you ever get sad?"
...
being sad is for LOSERS!
peeps who hate facebook are just private and/or overwhelmed by the amount of information their little minds cannot process.
AT&T U-verse does not carry MNet America?! DEAL BREAKER!
BERNADETTE: you have so much energy!
ANH: i'm like KPOP; sensory overload.
131007
ANH: omo omo, Ky?! it's sooo nice to have you here! (bear hugs, turns to boyfriend) hey, and you must be JONAS! hi, i'm--
JONAS: oh, i know who you are, i've seen you on facebook.
one truck i don't mind driving behind from is UPS. those guys are BLAZIN' FAST!
Anhjun Lozfen added new photos to the album INCHEONWON BLACKLIST.
SUZY [MISS A] bonafide goddess!
...
uglies like her make me smile whenever i see them; joyful demeanor.
SUZY at the airport 130913 (video)
...
lucky sons of peaches... i would be screaming like a pre-pubic schoolgirl!
if you only know GANGNAM STYLE, you need to turn the other way; i don't want anything to do with you. BAHAHAA
JEFF: i'm the candyman!
ANH: i'm the brisketman!
KITTY: i'm legenDAIRY!
Don?: i'm mexican.
to the host of DINERS, DRIVE-INS, and DIVES... how about some REAL food?
...
BRITTANY: haa white people food!
all other asian countries are trying to attain SOUTH KOREA's level of excellence.
i avoid american music award shows like the PLAGUE!
ANH: hey, she enjoys S&M.
DON: and I enjoy M&M.
ANH: haa frakkin' G-rated white american.
DON: and we enjoy Creme Brulee.
ANH: your italian is off.
DON: i am a REAL american.
ANH: from mexico.
ANH: haa fcuk that! i'mma hang at don's crib!
Don?: my bachelor pad, peaches!
Don's wifey: *ahem*
RICH: i'm happy, but i always look sad.
LANG: *yawn*
ANH: i'm like KPOP; sensory OVERLOAD!
JOY: LEGGGS!
DON: i'm still texting from a phone booth.
Fujie Miyatsuka: haa JAP FAIL!
RICH: bluetooth receiver FAIL... into my mouth.
JON: DEEPTHROAT!
DON: she voted for my daughter more times than you! oh yeah!
ANH: haa i don't even vote for my own country!
ANH: me getting sick of briskets? it's like saying you're sick of sushi.
DON: wish I could eat sushi as much as you eat INCHEONWON.
ANH: hey, i don't eat the restaurant itself, geek.
DON: haa you might as well!
*News Report: Half of INCHEONWON is now gone. ANH was last seen... hungry. BAHAHAA
NOTE: if all of my posts are too overwhelming for some, you can avoid them by blocking me!
Kelley?: i am a woman, don -_-
DON: with a baby face! she belongs with the PEANUTS gang.
ANH: dunno what you're talking about. i wasn't raised here; everything is better in FRANCE... even the PEANUTS gang!
DON: in french, they say "PENWAH".
ANH: BAHAHAA screw you sideways, whoresaint!
131008
jebus, another 4 tables booked tonight! satisfying brisket lovers 100 peeps at a time!
...
Ky Le?: that means more pumpkin JUICE! ROR
i should always make sure to mention "invited +1 ONLY" for INCHEONWON.
like don's wallet, seating is TIGHT!
DANIEL MOON: Anhjun Lozfen... best promoter EVERRR! ^^
GALPAL: how are cambodians like? i never met one.
ANH: meh, the girls are like filipinas... just more fake.
DON: my breasts are REAL!
ANH: FCUK DA PO-- i meant, "fcuk don politely."
DON: haa you're anything, BUT polite!
ANH: gomenasai desuka...
DON: "am i sorry?"?
hope there's parking. thank jebus it's TUESDAY!
Crystal?: i was gonna make chocolate chip cookies for Don?.
ANH: i think that's the only reason he's still your friend.
PHILIP: so what do you do for fun, anh?
ANH: well... incheonwon, kpop, video games, drawing, and photographing my galpals nude.
Tara?: it really doesn't feel like tuesday here at INCHEONWON.
ANH: no, it's FRIDAY before HUMPDAY!
waitress: when i worked at CHAMSUTGOL and it closed at 10pm, we would come to INCHEONWON to eat.
...
haa one strong testimony! give in to the dark side.
BERNADETTE: my friend thinks i sleep around with guys! wassup with that?!
ANH: haa psh, she thinks you got game. need a place to crash tonight?
GALPAL: i cannot believe how much energy you have with so little sleep!
ANH: i feed off people's company; natural high.
131009
Philip Yim is now my brisket buddy; this chap can eat a cow... like a COW!
i have to figure out how to stop saying "boob" cuz that won't sit well if it slips at work with them uglies!
waiters happy to serve you, non-existent at $10 KBBQs. BAHAHAA
...
Bernadette?: I used to go to one pretty often. It's $8.99 per person if it's just the two of you. LOL the meat is okay, but its really smokey and dirty in there.
ANH: and you only get your grill changed once for free IF you can catch the waiter! haa
BERNADETTE: I just spoke to Philip? on the phone. he wants to go back next week. omigod, what a fatty.
ANH: eh, don't feel pressured to keep up with us; you can just have the vegetable sides. BAHAHAA
BERNADETTE: i have guy friends who are still virgins and don't masturbate. how innocent.
ANH: wow, that's sad and pathetic. i wanna get my friend laid, but he's not a real man; too eccentric.
BERNADETTE: aww, there are weird girls too!
ANH: not even weird girls want him.
to those you cannot get outta the house, stop trying; if they wanna "live" in solitary confinement, so be it.
ANH: i would hang out with him sometimes, but it's a hassle picking him up. he would take you out... by bus.
BERNADETTE: nooo, i hate buses!
ANH: yes, they smell like Don?'s natural cologne "Eau de Musk".
those who take themselves so seriously need to get slapped in the face... with a BIG FISH!
131010
GALPAL: i want your KPOP girls, yet i am STRAIGHT!
ANH: hey, we could try GEN KBBQ when Philip? is ready!
GALPAL: LOL just let me know like a week ahead of time.
ANH: if you miss it, i'll invite you to... INCHEONWON!
ANH: SHINHYE should PARK herself in my pants!
GALPAL: LOL she'd have to marry you first.
ANH: damn dem kristians!
131011
David Cook?: Anhjun, you have more talent in the finger hangnail that you clip off then most people have in their entire existence.
...
wow, words of praise coming from a high quality human being who more than earned his title of "david-of-all-trades"! LIKE LIKE
one thing is certain about me, i'm not an employee to put up a front; you'd know quite clearly if i like you or not. NEVER kiss corporate ass, peaches!
i'm popping vitamins with white wine, is that alright?
TWO WEEKS (crime thriller) kseries
...
an absolutely great take on THE FUGITIVE! the lead character has a short time to make his way back for his long lost daughter's surgery. this story has a way to pull on your heartstrings. promises cannot be broken. LEE JOONKI has built himself into an undoubtedly serious actor.
korean english subs > chinese broken english subs
ANH: you really should chat with him, he's easily likeable.
BERNADETTE: LOL i'm really shy, i believe in timing.
ANH: i believe in forceful friending. BAHAHAA
ANH: i know a viet douche who kept bragging that he was born here, but he still was mistaken for a fob.
BERNADETTE: BAHAHAA life FAIL! i actually have friends who went to high school here and still speak fobbish english and dress fobbish. it's the friends they hang out with.
ANH: yes, their own kind... more FOBS! BAHAHAA
ANH: i had to block this chinese "friend" after he tried to get me into a pyramid scam.
GALPAL: you could've just told him you're not interested.
ANH: well, i did not want him to add my friends. i have dumb friends too, you know?
GALPAL: BAHAHAA
GALPAL: i don't expect everyone to be as smart as David Cook; i don't discriminate. haa
ANH: DON gets lost with tech, he doesn't even use ATMs. JAP FAIL!
GALPAL: seriously T.T
ANH: yup, don't get him confused with a GPS either!
GALPAL: he is a caveman.
ANH: looks like one too. haa if i married him, he'd be my useless wife.
ANH: bad english is my pet peeve.
GAL: my english is one of the worst in school. I get Cs and Ds.
ANH: i get Cs and Ds in cup sizes.
131012
GAL: i'm a boob girl. i prefer boobies, man chests. haa
ANH: Don? has Nat-Geo boobs. sorry, I was eating a croissant.
GAL: Have u been to Seaside Bakery? They have crazy croissants!
ANH: ooh, you should let them know. both foodies!
GAL: which one?
ANH: both of don's boobs.
beware of the mofos you meet at drinking parties cuz most of them are awfully boring once the alcohol wears off.
grown-ass juveniles drifting again... performance tires are expensive, morons!
GAL: i take my guyfriend to the more expensive, private strip clubs!
ANH: hook him up with a REAL girl! that's even more private... and expensive.
korean date: my car can smoke your car.
ANH: i'm not an asian woman. wanna try again?
131013
it's all too true that events are only as good as the entire company you're with.
GAL: i've been clubbing with USC chinese. Ferraris, BMWs, Benz... all the girls are boring. you see the wannabe kids dancing and the too-expensive-to-dance girls, all standing. haa
ANH: it's all about image, those types are borefests! haa all those dudes afraid to dance, just gawking at girls; meat market.
GAL: how old is your friend's daughter?
ANH: slightly older than you.
some peeps are just not tech-savvy whatsoever. they even manage to fcuk up a MAC; no brand is safe with them! try owning any car without ever maintaining it, and see what happens. JEBUS!
COUSIN: your car is a TOYOTA hybrid, right?
ANH: sure, one with paddle shifters, sport suspensions, and 18" wheels!
...
i bet he'd also have trouble differentiating a SAMSUNG note from an iPAD... or a filipino from a cambo. BAHAHAA
Bernadette? is extremely good at replying ASAP; truly reliable.
Kelley? replies once a month... or when she smells BRISKETS!
ANH: other than messages, Don? fails at replying to texts as well.
GAL: haa is he still using the same phone?
ANH: yes, whichever payphone he can find; they're scarce.
Fannie? is online again? eww...
ANH: i do like those red UK phone booths. i want one in my room.
GAL: haa how would you fit the booth in your room?
ANH: i will sleep standing up.
FRIEND: i don't care for breasts bigger than B-cups.
...
unfortunately, he's dating a girl with D's.
be careful what you don't wish for!
...
ANH: i don't want anyone like SUZY.
you choose to follow those who interest you; facebook is quite effective in building stronger bonds.
i'm not quite a foodie since i don't hunt much, but i do appreciate great food!
Jess is a hermit who loves PEOPLE!
ANH is a vegetarian who loves BRISKETS!
...
contradictions
the more popular chinese/viet restaurants are, the less sanitary. it's like they stopped caring about their patrons. had food poisoning at least 4 times, so please refrain from inviting me to most of them.
131014
i know some fobs too, but not much in common. haa
in between is where it's comfortable; not too white, not too asian.
when they're using the same rag to clean the floor for your table, you know you should reconsider ordering from the menu.
HEIRS (dramedy) kseries
...
starring legendary actors, LEE MINHO & PARK SHINHYE
...
this must be the most DAEBAK lead role pairing EVERRR!
ANH: gawking at those bodacious blondes at huntington beach in episode one, yet all i wanted was SHINHYE!
FEM: haa that's cuz you're drawn to asian girls!
ANH: hey, that's not true. i'm attracted to brunettes too... who look asian-ish... like KATY PERRY!
SHINHYE: how are these american girls so well developed? is it their diet?
...
their dietitian is Dr BEVERLY HILLS!
my closest friends are ACES. i don't kick it with wannabes, jackasses, and the likes. they are selfless thoughtful model human beings.
KUDOS, David Cook?, Don Vu?, Jess Nguyen?, and candyman Jeff Poh?!
(just to name a few)
i keep changing my name to hide from-- haa no, i don't care who checks up on me! unless they're colleagues, that's a nono.
in my dialogues, i'm rewording to FEM cuz GALPAL is too long!
perhaps, just F'.
BOARDWALK EMPIRE
...
one of the few good american series that keep me interested.
the assassination/murder sequences are brutal.
i always immediately fall asleep trying to watch anything in bed!
and peeps think i'm insomniac. haa
Nikki Wang Daebak? is a selfless thoughtful model human being AND a MODEL! whaaat?
ANH: a galpal is wondering why i haven't been sending her invites.
FEM: haa she misses you!
ANH: psh, she wants to hook up with you.
FEM: oh LAWWWD!
FEM: you would hate singapore; it's hot and humid. i would daydream, "would it ever snow here?"
ANH: no, the closest thing to snow in your country is in your FRIDGE!
my friends just said i'm a great event planner. wow, i honestly never thought of myself as one. thanks a million, peaches!
...
KY: and PROMOTER!
KY: BAHAHAA Jonas said he wasn't into korean girls until he added you on FB. He likes All your kpop girls pictures and now he likes korean girls!
...
succomb to the dark side, peaches!
"The only thing with 4 legs Koreans do not eat, is the table."
ANH: Bernadette?, you can teach him a few dishes in the kitchen and turn him into DAVID COOKS.
David Cook?: you mean, i could eat my own dishes?!
DAVID: a trick is to put a nice smelling bar of soap in your underwear drawer. It makes all your underwear smell clean.
DAVID: the only thing is... Don? doesn't do karaoke.
ANH: ugh, he doesn't dance either. very white... for a black guy.
FEM: have you had UMESHU or YUZU wine?
ANH: damn you! more goodies?!
FEM: it's... orgazm in a bottle. oh, sorry, plural--
ANH: ORGIES in a bottle!
ANH: dunno if i'm still allergic to calamari or octopus.
DAVID: anh, allergies are serious. so only eat until before you die... then, STOP!
131015
"why is she so dark?"
"she dresses like that, she must sleep around"
"why can't you date your own kind?"
...
you mean, HUMAN? haa whatta... asian parents!
they're frakkin' adding girls from my list whom they've never met in person. i mean, seriously? sooo desperate! this is another reason i don't date men.
131016
Don? is still figuring out how to answer comments... from a PUBLIC PHONE!
ANH: you and your charming wide smile with all of your 42 teeth, ugly!
Fannie?: haa i got all of my wisdom teeth pulled out!
ANH: all 8 of 'em.
GONG SEOYOUNG... the epitome of tall statuesque korean models!
...
thanks a million, candyman Jeff Poh?!
why are all the good looking ones such klutz, and all the smart ones such... gay?
...
lesbionic ex: heyyy!
colleague: you HAVE to dress up for halloween!
ANH: psh, i dress up everyday.
jebus, all of these galpals always sooo lonely and frakkin' sad! snap ouf of it, peaches! look at me, "i don't need a man!"
FEM: I'm so pooped out. Plus my stupid tire today.
ANH: another nail? construction workers secretly work for tire companies!
mexican gardeners with their noisy blowers blowing... nothing.
perhaps just more dirt over... to your CAR!
BERNADETTE: i'm really shy, and i cannot cook to save my life. teehee
don't ever provoke foodies to food-fight; we rather not waste any food.
YVONNE: I am a weird person I always do something very weirded. Lol!!!!!
ANH: i prefer weird peeps anyway; normal peeps are too predictable.
FEM: my former roommate, pot everyday, she's an artist.
ANH: hmm, smoking that, i see...
there's always information and ideas racing through my mind, and i have to write or draw it all down; probably why there's a constant news feed from Anhjun Lozfen!
DISCLAIMER:
all characters appearing in Anhjun Lozfen's dialogues are REAL.
any resemblance to real persons, friended or blocked, is purely intentional.
sure you wanna add me? you'll be trespassing into my mind! even my family members regret it.
BERNADETTE: as long as I don't drive people who smell bad or have bad hygiene, I'm cool!
ANH: oh, in that case, Don might not make it.
BERNADETTE: why doesn't he shower?!
ANH: BAHAHAA you sound so honestly concerned and convinced that he doesn't!
David Cook?: i have never smelled deodorant on don.
BERNADETTE: okay, cool. my car is FULL! SAUSAGE FEST!
DAVID: sausage fest? what is that? is that your restaurant recommendation?
David Cook?: ok, the strategy is, we sing until we can't speak anymore, then we eat beef noodle soup and pancakes and that house chicken stuff at Earthen and then we walk it off a little, then we go drink some boba.
...
THIS is how them koreans kick it!
FEM: I have amazing Ferrari Rocker gelato.
ANH: FERRERO ROCHER! don't you know your spanish?
FEM: omo, kill auto-correct, please!
i like fobs too, i guess... just the ones who are americanized.
Bernadette?: my mom is malaysian, but she's singaporean.
DAVID: You are half Teochew and Half Singaporean. I'm half not Teochew and half not Singaporean. We're like almost family.
So cool...
...
BAHAHAA whattafcuk? i'm sooo confused!
David Cook?: sorry. English is ok too. But I get all excited talking to you guys. Between the 2 of you, I can be exposed to 8 or 9 languages. I'm in love.
...
hardcore linguist right there!
i think i just posted at least a year's worth of status updates... in one night.
your turn...
DAVID: so asian, always fighting over who gets the check.
ANH: i usually pay for my own share... or less.
someone needs to get with this talented selfless thoughtful girl soon cuz gems like bernadette don't stay single for long.
131017
forgive me for bringing 20+ peeps to someone else's party. it will happen again.
just deleted Don? from my tags so i could fit someone else who actually knows how to use facebook.
...
GALPAL: dat... ODOR!
friends' links via facebook expose me to so many good stuff i wouldn't have known otherwise! you know who you are, peaches! LIKE
131018
i never ask my friends what they're doing or how much they're making. i couldn't care any less about that sh*t. what matters is how nice and likeable you are; if you're douchey/bitchy by nature, nothing's gonna change you... please, walk off a cliff.
queen POONEH, dare i say, Alfonso Vergara? is one lucky sonuvaBEEEEP!
so i get this message: "Sorry, this page isn't available."
and it's my own page! haa whaaat?
singer/model KYUNGRI [9MUSES] has legs going up her NECK!
KPOP is candyland, indeed!
hey, don't worry about what others think about you, only ANH's opinion really matters.
do you ever regret commenting on a friend's post cuz some of their friends' replies sound so frakkin' dumb? not even funny, just vulgarly dumb.
why are peeps friends with meatheads?
my ex got her dad's LEGGGS and her mother's mental illness.
ANH: some mexican lady kept talking to Don Vu? in spanish while he was in line. most likely due to his unkempt mexican woman appearance with nat-geo boobs.
FEM: oh man... so graphic.
ANH: NAT-GEOgraphic!
this one guy i know does not sing nor does he dance; that means he very much sucks in bed. he probably just lays there and takes it... while crying.
i seldom do this, but when i sever ties with someone, they no longer get to see everyone else cuz i know EVERYBODY!
JESSICA LE: u awesome just the way u r.. stay that way forever
MOM: people who make friends online are rejects nobody wants.
ANH: wait, what does that make me?
my friend lost his ability to smile after he got married.
the only love he gets is... love-handles.
...
DAVID: haa oh nooo, you dee-int! i know who this is!
131019
FRANK: i'd eat anything with four legs!
GALPAL: nooo, i'll try dog meat, but not rabbits... they're our pets!
if you seriously think your time is more valuable than anyone else's, it's not. you're a fcukin' jackass... punctuality is a sign of respect.
if i am late, it's never more than 15 min, yet peeps STILL get bent out of shape. don't worry, you'll get your BRISKETS, peaches!
ELEAH's mom: BAHAHAA you and don have such good chemistry and are so funny together! you should have your own talk show! you HAVE to watch FAMILY GUY!
"i'm sorry we have to leave. there's another party we have to go to."
...
whattafcuk?! if my friends ever said that to me, they'd immediately be BLACKLISTED!
131020
Don?: i'm your designated driver. you better DRINK tonight!
...
next thing i knew, i woke up in vegas with a tiger in the bathroom.
what happened last night?!
random aunt: and what exactly do you do?
ANH: if i told you, i'd have to kill DON.
NEWBIE: what's the occasion for incheonwon?
ANH: seriously? it's INCHEONWON!
NEWBIE: oh, so am i supposed to wrap the meat with the rice sheet?
ANH: haa fcuk the wrapping! stuff your face with briskets, THEN the rice!
131022
Nuengthida Sophon (Noona) [HELLO STRANGER] is even more endearing than Baifern pimchanok. NO CONTEST!
i believe in timing when it comes to the news feed;
there is no way one can keep up with every friend's status updates!
131023
ANH: i'm boobing kitty.
BERNADETTE: What does boobing someone mean?
ANH: squeeze her ginormous boobs together and let loose!
BERNADETTE: LOL What crazy vocabulary you have!
ANH: BAHAHAA pretty much straight forward... and back. repeat. jizzed
HELLO STRANGER (romantic comedy)
...
during their holiday trip to SOUTH KOREA to visit famous kseries shooting locations, an unlikely thai couple find each other.
Chantavit Dhanasevi plays a culturally-clueless, nevertheless fun guy and Nuengthida Sophon is such a JOY to watch!
David Cook?: now, for the love of chocolate chip cookies, can someone tell me who JON is?!
...
ANH: Bert Cruz, please clarify ^
i have "friends" i would RED FLAG for my friends, but if they don't ask me before friending, it's their problem. BAHAHAA i'm sooo soweee!
if you cannot tell me directly, laugh twice for YES, once for NO, and thrice minus once for MAYBE. don't make it complicated.
Pimchanok "Baifern" Lerwisetpibol (a crazy little thing called love)
...
ANH: how can anyone have such a drastic transformation in one film?!
JEFF: mind... BLOWN!
...
haa it pays off to be nice to uglies!
Pimchanok "Baifern" Lerwisetpibol
(a crazy little thing called love)
...
them ugly thai celebs and their never-ending names!
CHAMSUTGOL is a SHAM!
their "free" ice-cream gimmick is included in the check! BAHAHAA
131024
anyone attending, don't forget to BYOB (Bring Your Own Boob)!
no more sad clowns for me! i'mma stick with happy clowns!
GALPAL: your friends are awesome!
...
what does that make me? thanks a million!
it's official, David Cook? will now be known as DAVID ROCKS!
peeps only see what i choose for them to see.
...
Don?: INCHEONWON! jizzed.
Fannie?: BRISKETS! yesss, best cuts of meat EVERRR!
ALFONSO "jimmy fallon" VERGARA: haa that place is BOMB!
VOTE: DON VU, representative for anti-gluttony-free.
like your woman, i'll try your restaurant once, but i'll always return to mine.
...
COMMITMENT
DON: haa seriously? you won't mind me inviting your ex?
ANH: i wanna see if she'd have the guts to show up. i'll make sure she sits at your table so you pay for her.
it's more efficient to abbreviate everyone's name down to just 3 letters.
let's start with DON.
i'll abbreviate Nanashi Sama?'s name down to JAP.
ANH: PINOY, PINAY? clarify, please.
Eddy?: for the love of briskets, i'm not PINOY!
Rosa?: LIIIIES!
131025
i need to grab myself a whole bag of coke!
facebook: so-and-so's birthday is today.
ANH: and...?
unless they're for someone i care about, i really don't do birthdays. meh!
this little white girl was all over my nephew. well played little glass-hopper!
i prefer native asians over american asians; but when it comes to viets, i like them americanized. haa i cannot stand my own people!
Kim Dajeong's husband gave her a GALAXY Note 10.1. to concentrate on her artwork. the perfect gift, indeed!
"it is not a disgrace not to reach the stars, but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for."
...
Benjamin Elijah Mays, Morehouse College President
MIKE: Even the Asians over here have issues; They've spent too much time with Texans.
ANH: haa they think they're white.
MIKE: Impossible... They're like raw Texas fobs, worse than regular fobs.
just bought mom something she will find great use for, just because she certainly more than deserves it.
131026
Naomi?, i don't like this gloomy weather. make it RAIN!
...
NAOMI: haa i like this weather!
ANH: yes, for those contemplating suicide.
i refuse to follow any sport with no female eye-candy.
131027
(called for reservations)
WAITER: oh, you're the one with the camera, right?
ANH: yeah! and you're the one i took shots with!
my 90* turns tend to freak backseat drivers out.
131028
i. need. to. subcribe. to. MAXIM. KOREA!
131030
i'm forcing mom to learn how to swype... cuz typing SUCKS!
131031
ANH and Don? faked an accent at a video store once, and the employee asked in amazement, "oh, are you guys from AUSTRALIA?!"
haa HILARIOUS! dumb americans.
ANH: Don? is my hobo fobo mofo dobo (dog boy).
FEM: haa scooby DOO!
ANH: BAHAHAA yes!
DON: it's scooby DON!
DON's dad: that's my BOY! my talentless BOY!
DON's ex: more like scooby DOODOO!
...
why must exes always hate?
131002
if you can't find me at INCHEONWON, I'm on Facebook.
131004
I still feed my enemies when they starve. go figure.
I should make it clearer that my INCHEONWON events are not kids-friendly. haa drink up, peaches!
131005
ANH: do you guys sell car parts, here?
salesman: go ask for John. he's a skinny tall short guy.
woman: ooh, where did you get that? (coffee) LEE's has really good sandwiches!
ANH: uh... no. only their coffee is good.
...
white people don't know any better.
131006
so what did worrying about the government shutdown do for you? this is why I completely stopped following the news years ago; all it does is spread paranoia.
131007
fem colleague: what are you by the way? I cannot pinpoint it, but looks g--it's good.
...
haa nice save!
131009
CRYSTAL: okay I'm watching Kseries HEIRS and they're portraying Americans to be disgusting dogs with no manners, or just surfer party people! -_- Seriously going to be too much stereotyping.
ANH: Bernadette is American, but she's been koreanized; so she's only half dumb.
131011
TAMMY: we talk often about how much we like having you here. you make our lives much easier . It's a treat having you."
...
encouraging words from upper level
"listen, your last girlfriend was in 7th grade, and you only had her for 3 hours."
...
500 Days of Summer
"nice to meet you! my name is autumn."
...
500 Days of Summer
...
truly lives up to the hype. really great film!
131015
HADDAWAY - what is love
...
headbanging to this at work. haa I need to CLUB!
131017
"you are a beautiful mystery, every note carved into musical history... this is true, everything that you are, the wild earth, a child's birth, sun, moon, and the stars."
...
EPIK HIGH - map the soul
131021
BATMAN: get rid of that stupid S on your chest!
SUPERMAN: it's my people's symbol for HOPE.
BATMAN: HOPE starts with an H, stupid!
...
Pete Holmes Show
...
haa batman is such an ASS!
my keyboard just froze again, so I'm replying via phone. haa I seriously need an upgrade! this is frakkin' LAME!
131022
so my tire is flat, then it's not. I don't get it. "the twilight zone..."
131024
people actually thought I was dressed as a character at Anime Expo when it was just me in my flashy pink shirt.
131025
I want a daughter I can call my own.
131026
WALKING DEAD season 4
131028
colleague: have you ever been to New York?
ANH: haa no, I've lived in Paris. that was enough!
131029
Jebus, colleague just brought these hot chicken and cheese tamales! sooo frakkin' DAEBAK!
I do not care for event caricature artists for hire. they just keep following the same formula; every face they draw resembles everybody else's. uninspired factory work.
131030
happy mother's day, MOM!
...
haa to the one person who deserves everything...
SARANG HAE, OMMA!
131031
"je cherche l'ombre pour danser avec toi, mon amour, sur ces musiques anciennes..." ='(
homemade light and crunchy raisin cookies... DAEBAK!
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
SKITS SEPTEMBER
130901
MEGAN LEE is looking more and more like TIFFANY [SNSD]! some are saying she resembles IU, SUZY, and such. uh... NO!
i'm done with VIETS! the ones still in my list, consider yourself lucky.
deleting viets, yet just now, another wants to add me. wait, what?
MOM: CHAMSUTGOL is only 50% as good as INCHEONWON.
...
ain't that the truth!
such timing, as i was deleting one viet, another shows up. OTTOKE?!
ANH: sooo frakkin' done with viets!
KY: What happened? I'll curse them out in viet for you! Haha
ANH: thanks for cursing, non-curser!
...
haa love those sweet ugly ones who always have my back.
PHO > VIET
my ASPERGER condition doesn't really allow me to lie; you ask me if you look fat in that dress, i will tell you the bitter truth... and THEN some!
SUPERVISOR: what are you working on?
ANH: oh, nothing. what, was i supposed to lie?
...
haa i cannot be two-faced like most peeps at work!
when you agree to show up and don't, that's when you're on my blacklist FOREVERRR! i only like flakes in my cereals, peaches!
130902
HAPPY HANUKKAH!
DON: even if i come over, i'd just be playing RESIDENT EVIL 6 by myself.
ANH: nooo, it's a two-player! you can use BOTH controllers by yourself.
"no, it's nothing! my face hit the door knob."
...
i guess getting beaten to a pulp is the idea of love for some girls.
ANH: lesbi-honest, you're still hung up on your ex?
EX: i never told you my ex was a guy.
...
OMGWTFKBBQ?!
GALPAL: lemme know when i say anything offensive.
ANH: i'll just slap you with a big fish... or medium-long beef intestines.
some peeps i thought were cool turned out to be LAME; while some peeps i thought were lame turned out to be COOL and they just keep getting better!
GALPAL: haa i'll tag him!
ANH: don't, if you know what's best for you.
GALPAL: what am i going to lose?
ANH: your spot in my friends list.
GALPAL: do you mind if i smoke in your car?
ANH: hold on, lemme drop you off at the nearest bus stop.
130903
asians are either oblivious and/or selfish drivers.
...
WELCOME to asiantown EVERYWHERE!
asians are oblivious and/or suicidal pedestrians!
ALHAMBRA is a NIGHTMARE if you rather avoid asian drivers.
lying does not help... neither is telling the truth.
JEFF: you can HIDE people's boring/lame posts from your news feed!
ANH: uh, what if i deleted them by accident?
JEFF: LOL problem solved!
JEFF: that person I showed you would update every few minutes random things; they clogged my news feed.
ANH: KIM JUNG UN?
130904
TAHITI - love sick
...
ANH: wait, what's her name again? i know it!
NEPHEW: JISOO!
...
haa this band's first catchy song!
CLIENT: You've been so professional and such a pleasure to work with so far, I hope we continue to have such a productive relationship with you in the future!
...
it does pay off for me to have such great people's SKILLZ!
KIT: ooh, the new SAMSUNG note 10.1 and SAMSUNG note 3 are coming out!
ANH: well, i'm not one to upgrade my electronics every month... only girlfriends.
130905
wait wait wait, YouTube actually pays for sketch comedies?!
JON DAVIS gets a sex robot - Ep. 1
...
GIRLFRIEND: wow, asian... interesting.
BOYFRIEND: uh, i think that's the only model that they make.
...
BAHAHAA
130906
ANH: listen, if we cannot find the house number for this party, we'll hit another one.
TU: whoa, you even have a backup party?!
CHRIS: Anh, Mark Zuckerberg is watching you.
ANH: ooh, why?!
CHRIS: he's using people's statuses to promote facebook!
ANH: omo omo... INCHEONWON!
HUGH: anh's gonna take our picture! quickly, everyone gather around TARA for a group shot!
CHRIS: BUKKAKE!
TU: whaaat? you used to drive up to RIVERSIDE? what did you do?
ANH: my girlfriend.
keeping in touch with peeps who don't have facebook is a pain; who emails or texts anymore?!
DAVE: any time i want a quick laugh, i think of people who use hashtags on facebook.
ANH: haa just like sleep, hashtags are for LOSERS!
GUPPY Tea House
...
where food is made by kids who don't know what real food is.
130907
i hate spreading good news; they only get better.
130908
MOM: nooo, i never seen this film (Underworld_Awakening) with you!
ANH: mom, i don't have a girlfriend right now; who am i gonna watch movies with?!
DAVE: which character do you tend to portray well as?
ANH: the "asshole"... i act that part so well, some people actually believe it's me.
wedding quote
...
"First, the engagement RING; then, the wedding RING; and finally, the suffeRING!"
130909
ANH: a 6-minute drive to work is absolutely RIDICULOUS!
ANTHONY: sweeeeeet! you ought to walk it!
ANH: impossible, walking would take me a whole 12 minutes.
130910
to the peeps still Candy Crushing... find a HOBBY!
i have no problem socializing, but i'm more careful with potentially back-stabbing co-workers now.
when faced with a co-worker you wanna stab in the eye, smile widely like a maniac.
don't get on her bad side, Naomi Dang? doesn't pull hair, she KICKBOXES!
"we need someone who can do web design AND web programming."
...
why hire 2 professionals when you can hire 1 who is okay with both. haa
to those who keep bashing peeps who make great use of facebook, it's okay if you're not that popular! BAHAHAA
like it or not, sharing things on facebook does impact other people's lives.
130911
ugly face > ugly personality
Adobe Illustrator, i frakkin' HATE you, but i'mma MASTER you!
can you peaches stop being so surprised?! no, i'm neither drunk nor high! this is ME!
jebus, i know your car is an american classic, but it sounds like a beat-up motorbike! it's chocking!
Anhjun Lozfen took a photo with Instacrap.
...
damn you, restrictive SQUARE format!
coworker: even if you're not coming in tomorrow, will you join us for potluck?
ANH: aww, i can't... i'm 6 minutes from here; rush hour, 12 minutes!
130913
aunt BICH: I like it. where is this place?
ANH: i believe it's thailand.
aunt BICH: were you in thailand?
ANH: well... my ex was thai, so technically, i was IN thailand.
MOM: hurry with the bathroom, i need to dye my hair.
DAD: i don't take that long to shower.
ANH: it's not your showering, it's what you do on your porcelain throne.
G-rated people are hilarious; they never get my brand of humor! haa
was it a mistake to confirm my aunt? i hope my posts won't be too traumatic for her.
family shouldn't be categorized under "friends", but "SPIES"! unless you're my DAEBAK cousin Tu Do?, then it's a-OKAYYY!
how do you tell somebody their baby just isn't that cute without hurting their feelings?
those trying so hard to look white are delusional; we can still tell they're ASIAN! ewwww
ANH: we ALL should work 4 days and have 3-day weekends!
TU: CUT MONDAYS! They always give me a bad vibe.
ANH: inevitable, you would hate tuesdays instead.
TU: Then let's make it TU's-DAY!
apparently, there's money in dentistry; people need their teeth.
ANH: i usually avoid dating colleagues, but peeps usually run into their significant others at work! the dilemma!
TU: so you have your eye on someone.
ANH: hmm, somewhat. i still dunno what her position is... sexually.
what was i thinking? just got a flu shot, yet still did some pull-ups afterward.
130914
when some couples break up, i'm always itching to say, "haa i knew it! sooo predictable!"
those peeps who keep being paranoid about everything are quite annoying; stop being a WORRIER and become a WARRIOR! NO FEAR, peaches!
feel sorry for those who still don't know what BRISKETS are. evidently, they don't know how to enjoy great food!
"Inking was a necessity of the printing process used in comic books and other print publications; the presses could not reproduce pencilled drawings."
"A good inker can salvage shaky pencils, while a bad one can obliterate great draftsmanship..."
130916
COLLEAGUE: wow, you'll be spoiled! we're getting you two monitors!
...
haa what am i gonna use two 30" monitors for?!
if i knew about this company earlier, i would've quit the other sinking ship a long time ago! finally feeling appreciated... LIKE
some adults really lack good grammar; missing and incorrectly using punctuations here and there... i don't understand your gibberish, dammit! are you HIGH?!
130917
"you see, at APPLE, we like to add sh*t a little bit behind; so everytime we bring something out, you think it's a new innovation, and it's NOT! and you keep falling for it!"
...
David So
...
iphones are always up-to-date with yesterday's technology! BAHAHAA
COLLEAGUE: how do i use fonts i just downloaded in photoshop? i'm not tech-savvy.
...
figures, she owns an iPHONE! BAHAHAA
it's amazing how easily some peeps fall for SPAM... and i'm not talking about filipinos.
perhaps i should stop joking about cambos; many believe i actually hate them. haa naah...
KPOP is the only religion i need to preach.
after all i've done for her, she deleted me over my posts about cambos, god, or... INCHEONWON! haa hey, i can be friends with dummies too!
pardon my french, but "n'ya pas beaucoup de femmes qui sont intelligente comme Nikki Wang Daebak?, peaches!"
ANH: my favorite acting role is that of a jerk. we should really do some together.
CHRIS: haa we should!
ANH: ...some uglies.
everytime i see people on their iphones, i assume they're either beating a TETRIS level (no SWYPE feature!) or texting the person next to them.
APPLE: hmm, perhaps it's about time we introduce SWYPE as new technology to the masses.
APPLE: we should dip our present iphone in GOLD and sell it as the next generation model! GENIUS!
and... don't get me started with BLACKBERRY that won't give up that klunky physical keyboard with those tiny buttons and that frakkin' scroll ball!
...
BLACKBERRY
"APPLE's outdated technology the day before yesterday... today."
130918
the third time might just be the charm. this is a wonderful, drama-free work environment. LIKE
i'm more of a commercial artist (yes, the kind that makes money) than a fine artist. those peeps are even stranger than i am. i absolutely respect how much artsier and craftier they are... AMAZING!
i leaned over to bear-hug this one gay friend and he just brushed me away? frakkin' homoFOB!
cool peeps who turned out to be lame are the LAMEST!
lame peeps who turned out to be cool, now that's a pleasant... SUPPLIES!
thought JOY was hot, then she opened her mouth... even HOTTER! BJ POV!
to my parents, all latinos are mexican; they cannot tell the difference. haa the HORROR! the WHORE!
colleague: that smells good! what are you having?
MIKE: yes, it's japanese curry.
colleague: ooh, i LOVE chinese food!
MIKE: wait, didn't i just say-- nevermind.
wow, the things you can find searching with Safe Mode OFF online... DAEBAK!
MIKE: gomenasai desuka! TEXAS REPRESENT!
CONAN has no clue about gaming, yet he's rating "HITMAN: absolution"! haa my SENSEI!
KIM TAEMI literally kicks ass! tomboys ROCK!
NICOLE: I hate it when you have to hopscotch your way around the sidewalk because some inconsiderate pet owner decided not to pick up after their dog.
ANH: so the pile was too high for you to hop over?
130919
(D&B)
PAUL: wanna play one game?
ANH: just like sleep, gaming is for LOSERS!
PAUL: everyone here has a master's degree.
ANH: AND...?
which affordable laptop workhorse with maxed out hardware should my sister buy? the one with the correct answer gets free beers at DON's.
130920
"there's something good about naming your dog after your ex-boyfriend; you feel better when you let him starve, but it still hurts when he looks at other female dogs."
...
Four Colors of Love KSERIES
LESBIONIC KILLS... walkers! [drawing]
...
for those that i missed, sorry! facebook only allows 39 tags per photo. BAHAHAA
would be more convenient if you could LIKE someone's LIKE.
yes, i post everything else but your redundant selfies with the same pose angle, post after post after post...
GALPAL: haa it's so funny! ANW BRB
ANH: you mispelled ANH.
ANH: i misspelled "misspelled".
YES! invites ONLY! no more bringing your own mess of people who rather isolate themselves from the rest of the much COOLER peaches!
130921
JALIEN REYNEKE is the SHIITAKE!
when i'm listening to a good song, i'm entranced; stop interrupting! it displeases me.
people and their annoying after-market alarm systems! i should stick a banana in their exhaust pipes!
CHRIS: Monica Bellucci is frakkin' HOT! jizzed.
ANH: you have about the same taste as me; yet again, virgins like you get excited over ALL women. haa
130922
i got so bored laying in bed, so i just had to get up and do something constructive.
i couldn't see through this one driver's rear window at all! no, it wasn't tinted; it looked as though it was dug up from the grave.
...
a person's hygiene is easily determined with how clean they maintain their car. to the one with an entire fishbone at the bottom of the passenger side... whatta fcuk?!
130923
i'm now used to maintaining 2 jobs; i don't think i wanna go back to just one.
colleague: ooh, is that your first paycheck? is it correct?
ANH: haa i don't know, i just trust you guys with it.
colleague: it's OFFICIAL!
...
haa i'm barely 2 weeks in and it seems like they've already made up their minds!
i'm absolutely thankful to those who have great use for my skillset.
whenever you guys crave briskets-- correction, INCHEONWON, you HAVE to lemme know!
ANH: just started a new job, but i'm not leaving you guys!
Art Director: congrats on the new job! we need you, man. haa you're the best! keep up the good work!
...
everything eventually falls into place; you just have to take risks. if you're not happy with what or who you're doing, LEAVE IT!
"to be treated as a professional, always under-promise and over-deliver."
...
FENG ZHU
MOM: what do you want for dinner?
ANH: PHO!
MOM: we don't have beef! i'll make you chicken pho.
ANH: eww, nooo!
MOM: i'll make you chicken pho with beef.
130924
i do miss my gay co-workers; just the gay ones, the straight ones are always so overly dramatic.
now, that's why peeps easily trust me; all jokes aside, when i say something i do mean, i REALLY mean it!
Nikki?: oh, i hate to do this, i can't do tonight, but i'll stop by to say hi!
...
that's when i knew this ugly ^ goes out of her way to please others. LIKE
when comments turn into an endless chat forum, i unfollow my own post.
sorry for my typos... in FRENCH, peaches! BAHAHAA
fem colleague: what are you, by the way?
ANH: haa the million dollar question! what about you?
fem colleague: oh, i'm korean.
...
fcuk
i often do everyone the favor of flagging down miscategorized and spammish ads on craigslist; nobody has time to get ripped off.
WACOM Cintiq 24HD, $2500? seriously?!
i'll just ducktape 4 SAMSUNG note 10.1 together!
...
TERRENCE: we can dream.
ANH: i'm already happy i can put my dreams on "paper".
i like uglies like Naomi who don't know how HOT they are; such modesty!
i kinda miss jenn's "boxy" drawings! i think she's the actual MINECRAFT concept artist.
130925
i'm not a graphic designer perse, but i can fake it pretty well. haa i'm self-taught and just fell into it! PHOTOSHOP ROCKS
girly, let's have a romantic dinner, you, me... and your boy! i challenge him to out-eat ANH... and out-drink. you can drive. BAHAHAA
going through the list for potential guests is such a CHORE! i don't even know half of you mofos; i'mma have to start cleaning... INCHEONWON!
deleting peeps who haven't contacted since... yesterday.
jebus, my laptop just burnt out; good thing i have two other ones.
hope i didn't invite any vegetarian to my VIKING FEAST event!
3 phony fockers, stephen, pherny, rithy... OUT! i don't delete, i BLOCK!
i love people, but i too have my limits.
many mofos are only nice for their own selfish agendas;
beware who your "friends" are. i'm quite good at cutting the fat.
i easily discard of the rotten ones; more room for quality human beings.
colleague: which kpop artists do you listen to? i like that one song RUN DEVIL RUN by that one girl.
ANH: haa it's GIRLS' GENERATION! not a person, it's a BAND!
130926
a previous playful post of mine said:
"EVERYBODY loves David AweSom?! stephen roberts? not so much."
...
well now, it has become the truth; STEPH is a bonafide PRICK! frakkin' chinese commie.
"I just don't need to fake the funk. I have no ulterior motive to get in anyone's pants or use them for their skills. The positive energy provides me spiritual support. If they like me MORE than that, its a plus. If not, so be it. I've been through enough fake friends and backstabbers in one lifetime, I just want to be able to spread positive vibes worldwide. We all need love. The whole world does cuz it makes me sick to turn on the news. There's no time for selfishness or attention to detail in the wrong areas."
...
David AweSom?
...
this is why this orangutan ^ caught my attention the first time i met him;
a happy-go-lucky AWESOME human being.
i thought stephen's best friend would know better, but he's just as much of an idiot; you are what you eat!
HELP! anyone know of any one-bedroom apartment near LONG BEAH or SANTA ANA? DAVID AWESOM needs a place PRONTO!
...
NICOLE: do you know what his price range is?
ANH: for nicole or the appartment?
just noticed, i build people up, she tears them down; no wonder she keeps losing friends!
mofo is slowly deleting my friends, but keeping the ugly girls. haa seriously?
DAVID COOK: What's going on with Stephen Roberts? What did he do to you?
ANH: haa such a LONG story! well, he's one of the few pricks who's only around me to get to my uglies. also has been talking crap about me since he couldn't handle my joking about him. and the final straw... he got drunk; started fist fighting DAVID AWESOM; then kicked him out. and you know anyone named DAVID is pretty AWESOME!
SLEEP! i'll take the night-shift on facebook for you, peaches!
130927
now, they would like me to be a french translator? it's nice to have that in my arsenal.
MOM just dreamt of me leaving her; she was frantically searching for me. haa i'm not going anywhere, i'm not an ingrate... OMMA, SARANGHAE!
colleague: i use NORTON antivirus.
ANH: did it come with your macbook?
colleague: no, i had to pay for it.
ANH: i use AVG, it's freeware.
colleague: oh, REALLY?
...
haa APPLE user ^
130928
GET WISER, GIRLIES! just because i'm a mutual friend with them does not mean i necessarily know them. you don't have to confirm their friend request; there are plenty of creepers out there!
if you peaches are too lazy to print your own family photos, burn them on a disc and bring them to COSTCO. they shouldn't just sit in your hard drives; they're precious!
english is a language i'm so very tired of hearing, but i'm unfortunately stuck with.
forget about their hits; most bands' better songs are their obscured ones.
130929
i only blacklist those who agree to show up, but never do! it's perfectly alright if you cannot make it to my event, peaches!
never make promises you cannot keep; that's extremely inconsiderate and disrespectful to the person who put time and effort to accommodate you.
130930
Korean Americans... MEH! i can date any other color and they STILL would know what KPOP is!
colleague: i'm listening to SNSD and i'm still trying to figure out what they're saying.
ANH: if you're a true music lover, you don't need to understand everything they're saying... just sayin'!
...
i also listen to french, spanish, italian, romanian, chinese, thai, japanese, farsi, hongkongnese with british accents... FCUK THE POLICE!
NEWS reports that the US government is on the verge of shutting down completely.
...
oh NOOOES! i'm moving to... INCHEONWON!
colleague: my friend stole my rims and he had the audacity to tell me, "hey brian, check out my new RIMS!"
...
haa some peeps have the lousiest "friends"!
don't call yourself a chicken lover if you cannot eat everything down to their feet... same with women. haa jizzed.
i have to find out which neighbor keeps smoking near my window so i could plant a banana into both of their exhaust pipes.
ANH: TAEYEON needs to get americanized so we could speak with her; if not, we have KY!
JEFF: KY rocks KPOP!
...
KY... more korean than KoreAms.
i made my ugly colleague laugh, and she hit me hard. does that mean anything?
sonuvaBEEEEP! Don?'s ugly daughter animated this?! too talented! true JAP! she seriously should get into animation. i'mma get this video and tell everyone i made it...
and to think that those in government jobs thought they were totally secured.
130901
2-3 of 1000 Americans have Asperger. It's all clear to me now; No wonder some consider me insensitive!
130904
"Malicious comments and all the gossip are signs of an inferiority complex."
...
Flower Boy Next Door (Kseries)
"'Always try to see the best in people.' As a consequence, I'm inclined to reserve all judgments... Even I have my limits."
...
THE GREAT GATSBY
130905
STREET FIGHTER II with MOM is hilarious! as I take time to teach her special moves, she keeps beating me to a pulp.
130906
dreamt about sorting out my real friends from the fakes at gun point. then, the waiter was slowly approaching me...
ANH: oh nonono, I know what you're trying to do. YES, more BRISKETS, please!
"Jay, they're a rotten crowd! you're worth a whole bunch of them put together!"
...
THE GREAT GATSBY
named after a flower, yet you didn't bother to bring him even one. fcuk you, DAISY!
130908
Anhjun Lozfen is watching THE SOCIAL NETWORK?
it's so much easier to hang out with working friends. I'mma have to delete half of you peaches! BAHAHAA
Jebus, it's a non-stop 14-hour flight to Australia?! I can hardly sit still through a 2-hour film in theaters!
Mike Tran is one Cambo who's never been phony to me. I'm glad you're in my circle of trust, you Jap!
130909
GALPAL: she thought you were into her cuz you treated her to INCHEONWON.
ANH: I treat some guyfriends too; does that mean I wanna date them? BAHAHAA
Ben Affleck: daddy doesn't wanna drive the batmobile!
...
JERSEY GIRL
...
yet he's gonna be the next BATMAN! Haa
130911
you're telling me this company functions with the honor system instead of micro-management?! that's outrageous!
MOM is enjoying WALKING DEAD season 3 episode 8... too addictive!
Sprite + RUM = Hardcore Mountain Dew!
130913
frakkin' Mexican was throwing a fit cuz I was unpurposely blocking him from turning into his driveway. I was about to roll down the window and curse him out, but my AC was on.
130914
unless it's ladies' gymnastics, I cannot get excited watching any sport; they make me flaccid. Zzzzz
I laugh in the face of those who think they're smarter than anybody else. nobody cares for a narcissistic know-it-all.
GALPAL: I cannot have briskets with you! I'm on a diet. I can have frozen yogurt... FROYO!
ANH: hey, watch your language!
I miss Vegas as much as Disneyland... very little.
130915
Jebus, parents are grilling squids? that pungent odor! them Asians can eat ANYTHING!
MOM is convinced that Abraham Lincoln was a bonafide vampire hunter! haa down with the confederates! absolutely original fun action film.
130917
ANH: he's an idiot for believing her.
GALPAL: whoa, I'm an idiot too!
ANH: haa she kept wanting to be my partner, but she's not... INCHEONWON!
GALPAL: BAHAHAA
these earplugs work all too well; I couldn't here the alarm clock! how do I get to work on time?! it's a whole 6 minutes away! HOW?!
APPLE
yesterday's technology... today.
130918
it's true that women are more critical of each other's looks. some I find extremely attractive, she finds them hideous. could it be jealousy?
130919
WOMAN: alright, I can't lie. I don't have brain tumor. I just couldn't think of a good reason to break up with you.
MAN: I'd kiss you goodbye, but I don't wanna catch brain cancer.
...
CHILDRENS HOSPITAL (ER parody series)
130920
anyone know of any opening in the medical field? my ugly galpal needs part time work!
130921
why are Asians all wearing flip flops at the market? don't they know how heavy shopping carts are?
how can anyone be under-qualified to do the most basic task? Even clumsy DON can do a better job!
130925
Korean BBQ beef ribs for lunch?! sonuvaBEEEEP!
STEPHEN: I'm going to my 3rd job. dunno if I could handle this much, but it's money!
ANH: why don't you just work at one that pays more?
...
haa nobody likes a show off!
130926
you screw others over, your reputation will be advertised on my wall... on BLAST!
you cannot become an alpha male by throwing punches; you're just born with it.
Dammit, stuck in traffic. it's been a whole 6 minutes! AAARGH
colleague: I pay $1 per song with iTunes. that's a pretty good deal.
ANH: I get my songs for free from my KPOP dealer.
colleague: oh, really?!
...
haa deprived APPLE user ^
when you break up with a friend, can you still be friends?
BLOCKING is such a great feature... the legal way to KILL!
130927
being around a friend who's always sad drains your happiness away. at some point, you have to give them permission to jump off a cliff.
ROOMMATE: oh, are you committing suicide?! if you are, leave a note or they'll blame me!
...
Four Colors of Love KSERIES
130928
Filipinos >< Cambos
...
dunno, still deciding, but I know South Koreans beat them both! haa
FWB: you can hang with them, but I don't want anything to do with those combos.
ANH: it's not "combos", it's "cambos"!
racist mofos don't know what they're missing; I cannot have chicken everyday.
130929
getting rid of some leechers off my list is liberating! pretentious mofos can't get girls on their own.
130930
Korean colleague: is there really a band named GIRLS'GENERATION?
...
it amazes me how many Korean Americans still don't know what KPOP is. Korean FAIL!
MEGAN LEE is looking more and more like TIFFANY [SNSD]! some are saying she resembles IU, SUZY, and such. uh... NO!
i'm done with VIETS! the ones still in my list, consider yourself lucky.
deleting viets, yet just now, another wants to add me. wait, what?
MOM: CHAMSUTGOL is only 50% as good as INCHEONWON.
...
ain't that the truth!
such timing, as i was deleting one viet, another shows up. OTTOKE?!
ANH: sooo frakkin' done with viets!
KY: What happened? I'll curse them out in viet for you! Haha
ANH: thanks for cursing, non-curser!
...
haa love those sweet ugly ones who always have my back.
PHO > VIET
my ASPERGER condition doesn't really allow me to lie; you ask me if you look fat in that dress, i will tell you the bitter truth... and THEN some!
SUPERVISOR: what are you working on?
ANH: oh, nothing. what, was i supposed to lie?
...
haa i cannot be two-faced like most peeps at work!
when you agree to show up and don't, that's when you're on my blacklist FOREVERRR! i only like flakes in my cereals, peaches!
130902
HAPPY HANUKKAH!
DON: even if i come over, i'd just be playing RESIDENT EVIL 6 by myself.
ANH: nooo, it's a two-player! you can use BOTH controllers by yourself.
"no, it's nothing! my face hit the door knob."
...
i guess getting beaten to a pulp is the idea of love for some girls.
ANH: lesbi-honest, you're still hung up on your ex?
EX: i never told you my ex was a guy.
...
OMGWTFKBBQ?!
GALPAL: lemme know when i say anything offensive.
ANH: i'll just slap you with a big fish... or medium-long beef intestines.
some peeps i thought were cool turned out to be LAME; while some peeps i thought were lame turned out to be COOL and they just keep getting better!
GALPAL: haa i'll tag him!
ANH: don't, if you know what's best for you.
GALPAL: what am i going to lose?
ANH: your spot in my friends list.
GALPAL: do you mind if i smoke in your car?
ANH: hold on, lemme drop you off at the nearest bus stop.
130903
asians are either oblivious and/or selfish drivers.
...
WELCOME to asiantown EVERYWHERE!
asians are oblivious and/or suicidal pedestrians!
ALHAMBRA is a NIGHTMARE if you rather avoid asian drivers.
lying does not help... neither is telling the truth.
JEFF: you can HIDE people's boring/lame posts from your news feed!
ANH: uh, what if i deleted them by accident?
JEFF: LOL problem solved!
JEFF: that person I showed you would update every few minutes random things; they clogged my news feed.
ANH: KIM JUNG UN?
130904
TAHITI - love sick
...
ANH: wait, what's her name again? i know it!
NEPHEW: JISOO!
...
haa this band's first catchy song!
CLIENT: You've been so professional and such a pleasure to work with so far, I hope we continue to have such a productive relationship with you in the future!
...
it does pay off for me to have such great people's SKILLZ!
KIT: ooh, the new SAMSUNG note 10.1 and SAMSUNG note 3 are coming out!
ANH: well, i'm not one to upgrade my electronics every month... only girlfriends.
130905
wait wait wait, YouTube actually pays for sketch comedies?!
JON DAVIS gets a sex robot - Ep. 1
...
GIRLFRIEND: wow, asian... interesting.
BOYFRIEND: uh, i think that's the only model that they make.
...
BAHAHAA
130906
ANH: listen, if we cannot find the house number for this party, we'll hit another one.
TU: whoa, you even have a backup party?!
CHRIS: Anh, Mark Zuckerberg is watching you.
ANH: ooh, why?!
CHRIS: he's using people's statuses to promote facebook!
ANH: omo omo... INCHEONWON!
HUGH: anh's gonna take our picture! quickly, everyone gather around TARA for a group shot!
CHRIS: BUKKAKE!
TU: whaaat? you used to drive up to RIVERSIDE? what did you do?
ANH: my girlfriend.
keeping in touch with peeps who don't have facebook is a pain; who emails or texts anymore?!
DAVE: any time i want a quick laugh, i think of people who use hashtags on facebook.
ANH: haa just like sleep, hashtags are for LOSERS!
GUPPY Tea House
...
where food is made by kids who don't know what real food is.
130907
i hate spreading good news; they only get better.
130908
MOM: nooo, i never seen this film (Underworld_Awakening) with you!
ANH: mom, i don't have a girlfriend right now; who am i gonna watch movies with?!
DAVE: which character do you tend to portray well as?
ANH: the "asshole"... i act that part so well, some people actually believe it's me.
wedding quote
...
"First, the engagement RING; then, the wedding RING; and finally, the suffeRING!"
130909
ANH: a 6-minute drive to work is absolutely RIDICULOUS!
ANTHONY: sweeeeeet! you ought to walk it!
ANH: impossible, walking would take me a whole 12 minutes.
130910
to the peeps still Candy Crushing... find a HOBBY!
i have no problem socializing, but i'm more careful with potentially back-stabbing co-workers now.
when faced with a co-worker you wanna stab in the eye, smile widely like a maniac.
don't get on her bad side, Naomi Dang? doesn't pull hair, she KICKBOXES!
"we need someone who can do web design AND web programming."
...
why hire 2 professionals when you can hire 1 who is okay with both. haa
to those who keep bashing peeps who make great use of facebook, it's okay if you're not that popular! BAHAHAA
like it or not, sharing things on facebook does impact other people's lives.
130911
ugly face > ugly personality
Adobe Illustrator, i frakkin' HATE you, but i'mma MASTER you!
can you peaches stop being so surprised?! no, i'm neither drunk nor high! this is ME!
jebus, i know your car is an american classic, but it sounds like a beat-up motorbike! it's chocking!
Anhjun Lozfen took a photo with Instacrap.
...
damn you, restrictive SQUARE format!
coworker: even if you're not coming in tomorrow, will you join us for potluck?
ANH: aww, i can't... i'm 6 minutes from here; rush hour, 12 minutes!
130913
aunt BICH: I like it. where is this place?
ANH: i believe it's thailand.
aunt BICH: were you in thailand?
ANH: well... my ex was thai, so technically, i was IN thailand.
MOM: hurry with the bathroom, i need to dye my hair.
DAD: i don't take that long to shower.
ANH: it's not your showering, it's what you do on your porcelain throne.
G-rated people are hilarious; they never get my brand of humor! haa
was it a mistake to confirm my aunt? i hope my posts won't be too traumatic for her.
family shouldn't be categorized under "friends", but "SPIES"! unless you're my DAEBAK cousin Tu Do?, then it's a-OKAYYY!
how do you tell somebody their baby just isn't that cute without hurting their feelings?
those trying so hard to look white are delusional; we can still tell they're ASIAN! ewwww
ANH: we ALL should work 4 days and have 3-day weekends!
TU: CUT MONDAYS! They always give me a bad vibe.
ANH: inevitable, you would hate tuesdays instead.
TU: Then let's make it TU's-DAY!
apparently, there's money in dentistry; people need their teeth.
ANH: i usually avoid dating colleagues, but peeps usually run into their significant others at work! the dilemma!
TU: so you have your eye on someone.
ANH: hmm, somewhat. i still dunno what her position is... sexually.
what was i thinking? just got a flu shot, yet still did some pull-ups afterward.
130914
when some couples break up, i'm always itching to say, "haa i knew it! sooo predictable!"
those peeps who keep being paranoid about everything are quite annoying; stop being a WORRIER and become a WARRIOR! NO FEAR, peaches!
feel sorry for those who still don't know what BRISKETS are. evidently, they don't know how to enjoy great food!
"Inking was a necessity of the printing process used in comic books and other print publications; the presses could not reproduce pencilled drawings."
"A good inker can salvage shaky pencils, while a bad one can obliterate great draftsmanship..."
130916
COLLEAGUE: wow, you'll be spoiled! we're getting you two monitors!
...
haa what am i gonna use two 30" monitors for?!
if i knew about this company earlier, i would've quit the other sinking ship a long time ago! finally feeling appreciated... LIKE
some adults really lack good grammar; missing and incorrectly using punctuations here and there... i don't understand your gibberish, dammit! are you HIGH?!
130917
"you see, at APPLE, we like to add sh*t a little bit behind; so everytime we bring something out, you think it's a new innovation, and it's NOT! and you keep falling for it!"
...
David So
...
iphones are always up-to-date with yesterday's technology! BAHAHAA
COLLEAGUE: how do i use fonts i just downloaded in photoshop? i'm not tech-savvy.
...
figures, she owns an iPHONE! BAHAHAA
it's amazing how easily some peeps fall for SPAM... and i'm not talking about filipinos.
perhaps i should stop joking about cambos; many believe i actually hate them. haa naah...
KPOP is the only religion i need to preach.
after all i've done for her, she deleted me over my posts about cambos, god, or... INCHEONWON! haa hey, i can be friends with dummies too!
pardon my french, but "n'ya pas beaucoup de femmes qui sont intelligente comme Nikki Wang Daebak?, peaches!"
ANH: my favorite acting role is that of a jerk. we should really do some together.
CHRIS: haa we should!
ANH: ...some uglies.
everytime i see people on their iphones, i assume they're either beating a TETRIS level (no SWYPE feature!) or texting the person next to them.
APPLE: hmm, perhaps it's about time we introduce SWYPE as new technology to the masses.
APPLE: we should dip our present iphone in GOLD and sell it as the next generation model! GENIUS!
and... don't get me started with BLACKBERRY that won't give up that klunky physical keyboard with those tiny buttons and that frakkin' scroll ball!
...
BLACKBERRY
"APPLE's outdated technology the day before yesterday... today."
130918
the third time might just be the charm. this is a wonderful, drama-free work environment. LIKE
i'm more of a commercial artist (yes, the kind that makes money) than a fine artist. those peeps are even stranger than i am. i absolutely respect how much artsier and craftier they are... AMAZING!
i leaned over to bear-hug this one gay friend and he just brushed me away? frakkin' homoFOB!
cool peeps who turned out to be lame are the LAMEST!
lame peeps who turned out to be cool, now that's a pleasant... SUPPLIES!
thought JOY was hot, then she opened her mouth... even HOTTER! BJ POV!
to my parents, all latinos are mexican; they cannot tell the difference. haa the HORROR! the WHORE!
colleague: that smells good! what are you having?
MIKE: yes, it's japanese curry.
colleague: ooh, i LOVE chinese food!
MIKE: wait, didn't i just say-- nevermind.
wow, the things you can find searching with Safe Mode OFF online... DAEBAK!
MIKE: gomenasai desuka! TEXAS REPRESENT!
CONAN has no clue about gaming, yet he's rating "HITMAN: absolution"! haa my SENSEI!
KIM TAEMI literally kicks ass! tomboys ROCK!
NICOLE: I hate it when you have to hopscotch your way around the sidewalk because some inconsiderate pet owner decided not to pick up after their dog.
ANH: so the pile was too high for you to hop over?
130919
(D&B)
PAUL: wanna play one game?
ANH: just like sleep, gaming is for LOSERS!
PAUL: everyone here has a master's degree.
ANH: AND...?
which affordable laptop workhorse with maxed out hardware should my sister buy? the one with the correct answer gets free beers at DON's.
130920
"there's something good about naming your dog after your ex-boyfriend; you feel better when you let him starve, but it still hurts when he looks at other female dogs."
...
Four Colors of Love KSERIES
LESBIONIC KILLS... walkers! [drawing]
...
for those that i missed, sorry! facebook only allows 39 tags per photo. BAHAHAA
would be more convenient if you could LIKE someone's LIKE.
yes, i post everything else but your redundant selfies with the same pose angle, post after post after post...
GALPAL: haa it's so funny! ANW BRB
ANH: you mispelled ANH.
ANH: i misspelled "misspelled".
YES! invites ONLY! no more bringing your own mess of people who rather isolate themselves from the rest of the much COOLER peaches!
130921
JALIEN REYNEKE is the SHIITAKE!
when i'm listening to a good song, i'm entranced; stop interrupting! it displeases me.
people and their annoying after-market alarm systems! i should stick a banana in their exhaust pipes!
CHRIS: Monica Bellucci is frakkin' HOT! jizzed.
ANH: you have about the same taste as me; yet again, virgins like you get excited over ALL women. haa
130922
i got so bored laying in bed, so i just had to get up and do something constructive.
i couldn't see through this one driver's rear window at all! no, it wasn't tinted; it looked as though it was dug up from the grave.
...
a person's hygiene is easily determined with how clean they maintain their car. to the one with an entire fishbone at the bottom of the passenger side... whatta fcuk?!
130923
i'm now used to maintaining 2 jobs; i don't think i wanna go back to just one.
colleague: ooh, is that your first paycheck? is it correct?
ANH: haa i don't know, i just trust you guys with it.
colleague: it's OFFICIAL!
...
haa i'm barely 2 weeks in and it seems like they've already made up their minds!
i'm absolutely thankful to those who have great use for my skillset.
whenever you guys crave briskets-- correction, INCHEONWON, you HAVE to lemme know!
ANH: just started a new job, but i'm not leaving you guys!
Art Director: congrats on the new job! we need you, man. haa you're the best! keep up the good work!
...
everything eventually falls into place; you just have to take risks. if you're not happy with what or who you're doing, LEAVE IT!
"to be treated as a professional, always under-promise and over-deliver."
...
FENG ZHU
MOM: what do you want for dinner?
ANH: PHO!
MOM: we don't have beef! i'll make you chicken pho.
ANH: eww, nooo!
MOM: i'll make you chicken pho with beef.
130924
i do miss my gay co-workers; just the gay ones, the straight ones are always so overly dramatic.
now, that's why peeps easily trust me; all jokes aside, when i say something i do mean, i REALLY mean it!
Nikki?: oh, i hate to do this, i can't do tonight, but i'll stop by to say hi!
...
that's when i knew this ugly ^ goes out of her way to please others. LIKE
when comments turn into an endless chat forum, i unfollow my own post.
sorry for my typos... in FRENCH, peaches! BAHAHAA
fem colleague: what are you, by the way?
ANH: haa the million dollar question! what about you?
fem colleague: oh, i'm korean.
...
fcuk
i often do everyone the favor of flagging down miscategorized and spammish ads on craigslist; nobody has time to get ripped off.
WACOM Cintiq 24HD, $2500? seriously?!
i'll just ducktape 4 SAMSUNG note 10.1 together!
...
TERRENCE: we can dream.
ANH: i'm already happy i can put my dreams on "paper".
i like uglies like Naomi who don't know how HOT they are; such modesty!
i kinda miss jenn's "boxy" drawings! i think she's the actual MINECRAFT concept artist.
130925
i'm not a graphic designer perse, but i can fake it pretty well. haa i'm self-taught and just fell into it! PHOTOSHOP ROCKS
girly, let's have a romantic dinner, you, me... and your boy! i challenge him to out-eat ANH... and out-drink. you can drive. BAHAHAA
going through the list for potential guests is such a CHORE! i don't even know half of you mofos; i'mma have to start cleaning... INCHEONWON!
deleting peeps who haven't contacted since... yesterday.
jebus, my laptop just burnt out; good thing i have two other ones.
hope i didn't invite any vegetarian to my VIKING FEAST event!
3 phony fockers, stephen, pherny, rithy... OUT! i don't delete, i BLOCK!
i love people, but i too have my limits.
many mofos are only nice for their own selfish agendas;
beware who your "friends" are. i'm quite good at cutting the fat.
i easily discard of the rotten ones; more room for quality human beings.
colleague: which kpop artists do you listen to? i like that one song RUN DEVIL RUN by that one girl.
ANH: haa it's GIRLS' GENERATION! not a person, it's a BAND!
130926
a previous playful post of mine said:
"EVERYBODY loves David AweSom?! stephen roberts? not so much."
...
well now, it has become the truth; STEPH is a bonafide PRICK! frakkin' chinese commie.
"I just don't need to fake the funk. I have no ulterior motive to get in anyone's pants or use them for their skills. The positive energy provides me spiritual support. If they like me MORE than that, its a plus. If not, so be it. I've been through enough fake friends and backstabbers in one lifetime, I just want to be able to spread positive vibes worldwide. We all need love. The whole world does cuz it makes me sick to turn on the news. There's no time for selfishness or attention to detail in the wrong areas."
...
David AweSom?
...
this is why this orangutan ^ caught my attention the first time i met him;
a happy-go-lucky AWESOME human being.
i thought stephen's best friend would know better, but he's just as much of an idiot; you are what you eat!
HELP! anyone know of any one-bedroom apartment near LONG BEAH or SANTA ANA? DAVID AWESOM needs a place PRONTO!
...
NICOLE: do you know what his price range is?
ANH: for nicole or the appartment?
just noticed, i build people up, she tears them down; no wonder she keeps losing friends!
mofo is slowly deleting my friends, but keeping the ugly girls. haa seriously?
DAVID COOK: What's going on with Stephen Roberts? What did he do to you?
ANH: haa such a LONG story! well, he's one of the few pricks who's only around me to get to my uglies. also has been talking crap about me since he couldn't handle my joking about him. and the final straw... he got drunk; started fist fighting DAVID AWESOM; then kicked him out. and you know anyone named DAVID is pretty AWESOME!
SLEEP! i'll take the night-shift on facebook for you, peaches!
130927
now, they would like me to be a french translator? it's nice to have that in my arsenal.
MOM just dreamt of me leaving her; she was frantically searching for me. haa i'm not going anywhere, i'm not an ingrate... OMMA, SARANGHAE!
colleague: i use NORTON antivirus.
ANH: did it come with your macbook?
colleague: no, i had to pay for it.
ANH: i use AVG, it's freeware.
colleague: oh, REALLY?
...
haa APPLE user ^
130928
GET WISER, GIRLIES! just because i'm a mutual friend with them does not mean i necessarily know them. you don't have to confirm their friend request; there are plenty of creepers out there!
if you peaches are too lazy to print your own family photos, burn them on a disc and bring them to COSTCO. they shouldn't just sit in your hard drives; they're precious!
english is a language i'm so very tired of hearing, but i'm unfortunately stuck with.
forget about their hits; most bands' better songs are their obscured ones.
130929
i only blacklist those who agree to show up, but never do! it's perfectly alright if you cannot make it to my event, peaches!
never make promises you cannot keep; that's extremely inconsiderate and disrespectful to the person who put time and effort to accommodate you.
130930
Korean Americans... MEH! i can date any other color and they STILL would know what KPOP is!
colleague: i'm listening to SNSD and i'm still trying to figure out what they're saying.
ANH: if you're a true music lover, you don't need to understand everything they're saying... just sayin'!
...
i also listen to french, spanish, italian, romanian, chinese, thai, japanese, farsi, hongkongnese with british accents... FCUK THE POLICE!
NEWS reports that the US government is on the verge of shutting down completely.
...
oh NOOOES! i'm moving to... INCHEONWON!
colleague: my friend stole my rims and he had the audacity to tell me, "hey brian, check out my new RIMS!"
...
haa some peeps have the lousiest "friends"!
don't call yourself a chicken lover if you cannot eat everything down to their feet... same with women. haa jizzed.
i have to find out which neighbor keeps smoking near my window so i could plant a banana into both of their exhaust pipes.
ANH: TAEYEON needs to get americanized so we could speak with her; if not, we have KY!
JEFF: KY rocks KPOP!
...
KY... more korean than KoreAms.
i made my ugly colleague laugh, and she hit me hard. does that mean anything?
sonuvaBEEEEP! Don?'s ugly daughter animated this?! too talented! true JAP! she seriously should get into animation. i'mma get this video and tell everyone i made it...
and to think that those in government jobs thought they were totally secured.
130901
2-3 of 1000 Americans have Asperger. It's all clear to me now; No wonder some consider me insensitive!
130904
"Malicious comments and all the gossip are signs of an inferiority complex."
...
Flower Boy Next Door (Kseries)
"'Always try to see the best in people.' As a consequence, I'm inclined to reserve all judgments... Even I have my limits."
...
THE GREAT GATSBY
130905
STREET FIGHTER II with MOM is hilarious! as I take time to teach her special moves, she keeps beating me to a pulp.
130906
dreamt about sorting out my real friends from the fakes at gun point. then, the waiter was slowly approaching me...
ANH: oh nonono, I know what you're trying to do. YES, more BRISKETS, please!
"Jay, they're a rotten crowd! you're worth a whole bunch of them put together!"
...
THE GREAT GATSBY
named after a flower, yet you didn't bother to bring him even one. fcuk you, DAISY!
130908
Anhjun Lozfen is watching THE SOCIAL NETWORK?
it's so much easier to hang out with working friends. I'mma have to delete half of you peaches! BAHAHAA
Jebus, it's a non-stop 14-hour flight to Australia?! I can hardly sit still through a 2-hour film in theaters!
Mike Tran is one Cambo who's never been phony to me. I'm glad you're in my circle of trust, you Jap!
130909
GALPAL: she thought you were into her cuz you treated her to INCHEONWON.
ANH: I treat some guyfriends too; does that mean I wanna date them? BAHAHAA
Ben Affleck: daddy doesn't wanna drive the batmobile!
...
JERSEY GIRL
...
yet he's gonna be the next BATMAN! Haa
130911
you're telling me this company functions with the honor system instead of micro-management?! that's outrageous!
MOM is enjoying WALKING DEAD season 3 episode 8... too addictive!
Sprite + RUM = Hardcore Mountain Dew!
130913
frakkin' Mexican was throwing a fit cuz I was unpurposely blocking him from turning into his driveway. I was about to roll down the window and curse him out, but my AC was on.
130914
unless it's ladies' gymnastics, I cannot get excited watching any sport; they make me flaccid. Zzzzz
I laugh in the face of those who think they're smarter than anybody else. nobody cares for a narcissistic know-it-all.
GALPAL: I cannot have briskets with you! I'm on a diet. I can have frozen yogurt... FROYO!
ANH: hey, watch your language!
I miss Vegas as much as Disneyland... very little.
130915
Jebus, parents are grilling squids? that pungent odor! them Asians can eat ANYTHING!
MOM is convinced that Abraham Lincoln was a bonafide vampire hunter! haa down with the confederates! absolutely original fun action film.
130917
ANH: he's an idiot for believing her.
GALPAL: whoa, I'm an idiot too!
ANH: haa she kept wanting to be my partner, but she's not... INCHEONWON!
GALPAL: BAHAHAA
these earplugs work all too well; I couldn't here the alarm clock! how do I get to work on time?! it's a whole 6 minutes away! HOW?!
APPLE
yesterday's technology... today.
130918
it's true that women are more critical of each other's looks. some I find extremely attractive, she finds them hideous. could it be jealousy?
130919
WOMAN: alright, I can't lie. I don't have brain tumor. I just couldn't think of a good reason to break up with you.
MAN: I'd kiss you goodbye, but I don't wanna catch brain cancer.
...
CHILDRENS HOSPITAL (ER parody series)
130920
anyone know of any opening in the medical field? my ugly galpal needs part time work!
130921
why are Asians all wearing flip flops at the market? don't they know how heavy shopping carts are?
how can anyone be under-qualified to do the most basic task? Even clumsy DON can do a better job!
130925
Korean BBQ beef ribs for lunch?! sonuvaBEEEEP!
STEPHEN: I'm going to my 3rd job. dunno if I could handle this much, but it's money!
ANH: why don't you just work at one that pays more?
...
haa nobody likes a show off!
130926
you screw others over, your reputation will be advertised on my wall... on BLAST!
you cannot become an alpha male by throwing punches; you're just born with it.
Dammit, stuck in traffic. it's been a whole 6 minutes! AAARGH
colleague: I pay $1 per song with iTunes. that's a pretty good deal.
ANH: I get my songs for free from my KPOP dealer.
colleague: oh, really?!
...
haa deprived APPLE user ^
when you break up with a friend, can you still be friends?
BLOCKING is such a great feature... the legal way to KILL!
130927
being around a friend who's always sad drains your happiness away. at some point, you have to give them permission to jump off a cliff.
ROOMMATE: oh, are you committing suicide?! if you are, leave a note or they'll blame me!
...
Four Colors of Love KSERIES
130928
Filipinos >< Cambos
...
dunno, still deciding, but I know South Koreans beat them both! haa
FWB: you can hang with them, but I don't want anything to do with those combos.
ANH: it's not "combos", it's "cambos"!
racist mofos don't know what they're missing; I cannot have chicken everyday.
130929
getting rid of some leechers off my list is liberating! pretentious mofos can't get girls on their own.
130930
Korean colleague: is there really a band named GIRLS'GENERATION?
...
it amazes me how many Korean Americans still don't know what KPOP is. Korean FAIL!
Sunday, September 1, 2013
SKITS AUGUST
130802
Wow, the produce at this Mexican market is so fresh, they practically grow it at Miles Square Park.
130803
GALPAL: that girl took a double take on you.
...
Really? I'm so bad at reading signs!
130807
American TV is pretty much sh*t. 100's of channels and barely anything good!
130808
Yes, I often avoid inviting my galpals over cuz my family always automatically think I'm dating them!
NEPHEW: why did you leave aunty KITTY?
ANH: she ate too much... BRISKETS!
I'm ovulating!
130810
MICHELLE: how can anyone not like raspberry wine soju?
ANH: the ones who think tequila is good. Ugh...
RUM... The poison that got me a girlfriend and an FWB at the club! Perhaps I should try that again.
130811
Just donated to two different homeless guys within 2 minutes of each other. Is that wrong?
there's a cover of "it's raining men" playing at the Vietnamese market. Are those people tone-deaf? Sounds terrible! Haa
130812
Even my own family doesn't believe that I do not cheat on women. Thank you for your support!
Everyone keeps cheering for my nephew in his taekwondo class. I kinda feel bad for the other kid.
130815
With technology, we are more connected, yet disconnected. I often avoid using my phone or tablet at the dinner table; it's frakkin' rude to everyone.
ANH: I'm glad I stumbled upon you guys. Great visionary endeavor with creative projects. I actually get to use what I studied for!
ANDREW: That makes me really happy to hear anh! We are really happy we stumbled upon you! We really enjoy working with you
My professional career is slowly getting back on track while you're slowly losing yours; Karma is a bitch, bitch.
130817
Bruce: hope you didn't like me for my money.
Miranda: suffering builds character.
...
Dark Knight Rises
I only cared for the last 30 minutes of "The Dark Knight Rises". BANE and his annoyingly slow speeches.
130818
"It's inevitable, it's just a matter of time. You will get noticed... Keep adding new stuff to your portfolio. It will happen eventually."
...
Marius Bota
130821
I'm convinced my smartphone is made of animal fat.
130822
Jebus, is gas cheaper? Just overflowed my tank!
130823
I'm not a fan, but don't bother opening a beer if you can't finish it. POSERS! Haa
Failures help you evolve personally and professionally. Making mistakes forces you to try new things.
130824
"All my life, I've been liked by both men and women. I have a unisex face."
...
HOTARU no HIKARI 3
"Any woman who tries her best in life is lovely."
...
HOTARU no HIKARI 3
130825
Now, why is there a tiger in the bathroom?!
130826
Funny how some women never learned to apply makeup correctly. It's like they're using Crayolas.
White man: excuse me, what is this (pointing at pile of durians)?
MOM: fruit.
I have to higher my standards; keep dating low grade "women".
It's ridiculously cold in my car. Brrr!
No worries, officer! I don't speed like I used to; too busy dancing to Girls' Generation's whimsical songs!
Jackie Chan died... again? I almost killed myself hearing that "news" cuz I like him even more than Michael Jackson! It's FAKE! Another hoax from some dumb mofo.
ANH: FCUK! Owowow
MOM: what happened?
ANH: I hit this stupid useless coffee table again!
MOM: you need a bandaid?
ANH: no, men don't need bandaids!
MOM: alright, Rambo.
130827
Note to Self: beer is a TERRIBLE chaser for RUM! Fcuk My Wife!
No, it's not that bad; I only drink whenever someone likes my post.
130830
GIFs, the GIF that keeps on GIF-ing!
130831
Just heard a neighbor sneeze "ATCHUM!". No one ever words that out when they sneeze!
Married people tend to forget who their friends are. And if things go sour, they have... no one.
130801
i seldom unfollow Nikki Wang Daebak?'s posts; she's a DAEBAK clown without trying. haa
yes, my SKITS blog is uncensored; i actually name names!
i enjoy introducing good friends to each other since they won't do it on their own!
i don't consider myself a foodie; i don't hunt for all kinds, but i do enjoy the good ones when i stumble upon them.
i definitely do not watch nor read the news; have no need for the extra drama.
SCHINDLER'S LIST
...
"whoever saves one life, saves the world entire... there will be generations because of what you did."
...
wow, finally got to see this masterpiece. beautiful poignant film!
"I've been mulling over the project. Honestly, you're one of our top artists!"
...
wow, encouraging words of praise from an art director! i really need to be around more peeps like this.
CRYSTAL: it's just-- i hate stupid people!
ANH: so i take it, you're not a fan of my ex, kitty.
CRYSTAL: haa no, i'm not. her brains got swapped for her giant DDD boobies.
MOM: all the briskets went to her breasts.
i usually give everyone only one chance.
with restaurants, it's one strike; if they don't impress me the first time, i won't be promoting them at all... PERIOD
sorry, i'm not filipino enough to eat briskets nuked and blackened with zero nutritional value.
...
this excludes Bert Cruz? cuz he actually knows how meat is supposed to be cooked, peaches!
...
"when you go black, you can always go back!"
130803
KITTY: i wouldn't have dated you if i didn't like you.
...
i could've sworn she was only after my BRISKETS! haa
due to KPOP uglies, i haven't checked on pornstars in a LONG while! perhaps, i should.
SPLINTER CELL - BLACKLIST
...
"leave no witnesses behind."
...
i absolutely prefer stealth missions over shoot 'em ups. SAM FISHER cannot be beat!
130804
BARBIE - life in the dreamhouse (season 1)
...
FRIENDS: we're famished... AND starving!
BARBIE: hold on, i may have a mint in my pocket...
...
BAHAHAA these webisodes are priceless!
SKETCHY MICRO: we would like to increase the amount of projects we send you.
...
sonuvaBEEEEP yes, please!
Project Manager: You are good at keeping things distinct and uncluttered, which is why I wanted you to do this project.
to my supporters... i WUV you ALL!
GALPAL: Damn, I wanted to send a bunch of LIKES but it wouldn't let me send 2 in a row!
...
aww, limitations with chat, but i totally appreciate it, boob!
MOM: ethan is starting school in a couple of weeks... REAL school!
ANH: you mean [my nephew]'s been going to a fake one all this time?!
130805
if you wanna succeed, make sure to have a skillset not many have.
everything happens for a reason; things are slowly starting to take shape.
sorry for being MIA for so long. i'll make it up to you, peaches!
INCHEONWON will only be able to sit 5 peeps maximum at my table since Justine? will need extra room for her LEGGGS!
MOM: if a girl catches your eye, you have to grab her right away.
ANH: ooh ooh! where?!
PARK MIN YOUNG (I AM SAM kseries)
...
korean actresses just frakkin' RULE!
130806
flipping through these cable channels, HOLLYWOOD has to be pumping out most of the worst films in the world!
i just ran out of peeps to mass-tag.
i don't see the point of handling extra accounts like twitter, instagram, or pinterest when i can so easily just post everything on FACEBOOK! haa
...
KIT: you're forgetting Google+!
ANH: what's that?
Google+... a place where you can mingle with nobody for some quiet time.
Jeff's response to kitty's nude photos:
"Damn. I got poked in my eye at the gym. Shorts ruined. Thanks hyung!"
JEFF: korean restaurants in that city are closed on sundays for churk.
ANH: CHURK must be a new cult.
JEFF: LOL i turned off auto-correct! i go typewriter style!
ANH: haa hardcore OLD SCHOOL!
KITTY: LOL my bra exploded!
#people #definitely #get #carried #away #with #hashtags
you'd think they'd make all phones shockproof and waterproof. it's all about turning more profit with extra accessories.
130807
wish i could get buzzed without having to drink 4 shots or 6 beers; it would be cheaper.
Didn't know using the creative side of my mind all day long would take so much out of me... Zzzzzz
130808
1251 invites?! haa i doubt my being there would make much difference... DECLINE!
it's tough to decline on peeps' events; you wanna be there, but you don't.
the extremely bored consistently play facebook games.
the ones taking a chance on my artwork find themselves getting their money's worth; they want more... WANG DAEBAK!
JEFF: i could get lost; need GPS.
ANH: haa LOST, like some peeps having trouble figuring out how to use a GPS!
JEFF: kimchi pho... someone should invent that!
ANH: impossible, kimchi would lose its flavor once it hits the flavorful pho broth, brother!
i'm mixing strawberry juice with SOJUUU! is that okay?
i'm sorry, but we koreans can out-eat any texan, peaches!
Anhjun Lozfen completed Level i-have-better-things-to-do in Candy Crush Saga.
no, i very seldom hold grudges; i'm not a bitch.
i don't make excuses. if i need to stare at another girl, i'mma do it; just cuz i'm with you doesn't mean i'm blind.
listen, Nikki?. you already know better than this... good-looking people tend to lack in personality! you have to tell yourself at some point, "i wanna have fun! i'mma date the ugly ones, damnit!"
sorry if i've missed your comments or even tags, peaches! too busy catching up to Jeff Poh?'s massive KPOP links! WOOHOO!
WOMAN: honey~! why did you have to drink so much?!
ANH: cuz he's married to you.
Don Vu? is LEGEND... wait for it... DARY!
130809
a guy should already be serious enough with you after 3 years, married or not. that's commitment; nothing to worry about.
whaaat? nephew drank the last of my strawberry juice?! Simply Lemonade SOJU, it is!
if you hesitate to open up to me about anything personal, i do not consider you a good friend.
yes, i usually know what people like. haa
130810
sorry, but once i find out you're a racist, you won't get as much respect (or any at all) from me; everyone is human, shut up and live with it.
"the meaning of life"? help and live for those who need you; as simple as that.
GOOD will always triumph cuz EVIL is... dumb.
as much as i love people, i stopped trying with some. i only make time for those who matter; you know who you are!
GALPAL: Hah I don't think anyone understands you ... You always make me laugh. Hah.. You entertain others easily.
i need to drink so i'm less shy around people. BAHAHAA *burp*
briskets disappear waaay too fast from the grill! seating at a table of 4... or 1 is best.
INCEPTION is such a soothing and inspiring soundtrack to concentrate and draw to.
almost choked on my own burp. whattafcuk?
ANH: the chinese dragon is more stylish than the medieval dragon.
MICHELLE ROSS: Very true.... Medieval is just so big and bulky.
ANH: like most americans.
MICHELLE: haa so mean!
ANH: haa truth hurts.i will only write that in my blog.i have some fat friends; they can read it in my blog.
GALPAL: I really want a tattoo that I can see; I get bummed that I can't see my dragon.
ANH: have a map of america done on your face.
am i loud? i feel like when i talk, EVERYONE can hear!
Tuanson Nguyen? has to be a lucky dood; RAINA is DAEBAK!
yes, i can easily fake an american accent... in FRENCH!
Anhjun Schindler
...
since i changed my name, hopefully, no one can find me now...
SISTER: i had to block the adult channels--
ANH: oh nono, no big deal! i have my own.
SISTER: because of ethan (nephew)...
ANH: thank you for taking a break from WARCRAFT to answer, hardcore korean gamer with 400x connection!
JEFF: haa I don't play warcraft or games anymore. koreans play STARCRAFT!
ANH: yeah, i'm too busy drawing. video games, once in a blue moon... for 15 minutes. BAHAHAA
JEFF: Choa is like the second coming of Taeyeon.
TAEYEON: Thanks oppa for making me cum twice!
130811
TRON UPRISING
...
with a wide range of extremely original looking characters.
this is 3D animation as 2D done RIGHT; KICKASS series!
i'm barely starting the AVATAR series; and have to continue WALKING DEAD... season 2! haa jebus, so much to catch up with!
130812
HONDA U3-X self-balancing "unicycle" is DAEBAK!
haa love the tech, but that's just gonna make fat americans LAZIER!
the ones who don't know any better tend to jump into the iphone bandwagon here. i'm not brand-biased... unless it's SAMSUNG! BAHAHAA
SAMSUNG note 10.1 is making me money, not iPAD; i'm doing commissioned work drawing on it. ; not just EPIC fail, but APPLE FAIL! LIKE
...
"those who work own PCs." BAHAHAA
FRIEND: what's he doing anyway?
ANH: dunno, duncare.
...
TIP: stop hanging with peeps that slow you down.
9MUSES "friends fun" potato chips commercial
...
only south korea can make an ENTIRE music video to advertise CHIPS! haa KYUNGRI is such a hottie.
130813
JEFF: i dreamt about one of your galpals.
ANH: that would be a nightmare for me.
130814
PASS! no princesses nor lesbians for me, thank-you.
i wouldn't mind having 2 1/2 kids... 2 kids and a dwarf... or a dog.
i'm a "mother-father gentleman"! yes, i tend to treat women with respect, but it doesn't necessarily means i'm into you.
if i happen to miss anyone in my last post, tag yourself!
whoa, jebus... grape juice + soju = wine!
130815
"could you use an iPAD for drawing?"
...
haa again, NOOO! cuz APPLE is just too narcissistic to have WACOM technology built-in!
GALPAL: are you going to her wedding?
ANH: psh, she deleted me.
GALPAL: aww, anyone else i would understand, but you?
ANH: haa it's okay, there are smarter ones where she came from.
most people aren't bad; they just choose the wrong people to side with.
when an asian asks me, "what's DAEBAK?", they're not asian enough for me.
drinking tremendously helps drown out anyone's nagging... LIKE!
jebus, i'm eating more yogurt than i should be!
no sweat, it only looks like i have a drinking problem on facebook; i have only one true addiction... KPOP, peaches!
am i the only one who thinks ISLANDS burger restaurant is overrated?
used to have trust in people... till i met cambodians.
no, i definitely do not believe in the devil... i have no fear.
hey dumb-dumb, you might finally be able to get a woman when you stop referring to them as PUSSIES!
...
KITTY: LOL i get that ALL the time!
130816
you have to choose to be happy. if you're gonna keep stressing over every little thing, don't drag anyone else down with you.
i don't know how anyone cannot enjoy laughing... HARD. REALLY LOUDLY!
130817
when i have interest in someone, i usually initiate even if my friends saw her first. she's the one who makes the choice. haa
puh-leez, i was raised with Frenchies. keep an open mind, try all flavors.
EX: i never told you my ex was a guy.
...
haa whatta...? WHY?!
130818
"Why do I have friends on my list whom I've never added and don't know?"
...
either they just changed their facebook name or you forgot whom you've added; i tend to do that with family members. haa
wearing a wrist brace to ease the pain from using the mouse. haa loving it! feeling like a STREET FIGHTER!
130819
deleting those who are DOA (dead on arrival, inactive) is the logical thing to do; they're just wasting facebook real-estate!
OMGWTFKBBQ she lost my precious DVD?! i'mma have to delete her then.
ANH: are you listening? i was NEVER interested in marie! i was into CHIME!
ROSA: but she had a boyfriend!
ANH: so what?!
those who frustrate you only test your patience; be the better person and deal with them in a civilized manner.
130821
INTERVIEWER: you're our forerunner; apart from what you can do, you are great with communication. we like that.
...
haa thanks for noticing! i was tired from not talking in high school!
humility i do have; i do often share my artwork, but i do not expect everyone to like it.
don't ever make the mistake of regarding your supervisors as friends... they shouldn't even be regarded as people! haa ugh...
130822
ANH: eww, check out that car! looks like uncle Don?'s, it needs a wash!
NEPHEW: no, uncle DON's car is worse; it has a flat tire, all its windows are broken, his license plate is cut in half... AND he stores gum in his hair!
...
BAHAHAA he doesn't even chew gum!
ANDREW ZIMMERN is always eating exotic and freaky food, but he never features delicious dog-meat dishes cuz his show would instantly go off the air.
"Character concept/Illustrationist [wanted]"
...
is that even a word?
do not shoot your mouth off around me; that will be posted on facebook... with your name on it.
...
NICOLE: I believe all of us learned the hard way when we first met you. Lol!!
ANH: nicole, you never shot your mouth off, but i put you on BLAST a few times for being ugly and whatever other reasons. haa LIKE!
once i find out a galpal is being bitchy to another, i usually sever ties with the ugly one; quite difficult when they both are.
Ms DAEBAK, how do i sync your newsfeed to MY wall cuz...
Nicole Says the Darndest Things! and "i don't wanna miss a thing..."
130824
SISTER: ethan, how much more will i have to spend on you?
ANH: till he's 14... when he moves out for college.
ANH: can you find your way home?
DON: yeah, i'll be fine. i have UPS nagivation.
ANH: yeah, i met you last time! you're SARVY's brother!
SALMAN: yes, SALMAN.
ANH: wait, "solomon"?
SALMAN: no, "salman".
ANH: "salmon"?
SARVY: omigod! i can't believe he farted before he left!
ANH: that was his parting gift. you didn't see the green cloud?
SOLTAN: oh, i'm sorry. is this your drink?
ANH: s'alright! you can have it!
SOLTAN: really? what's your name?
ANH: ANH... A-N-H.
SOLTAN: haa thanks, CHANG!
SARVY: is the fire turned off?
DON: what did she say?
ANH: she asked if there's anymore fire in your bedroom!
DON: ugh, it extinguished since my first born.
130826
the ones who haven't texted me their name are still figuring out their iphone.
130827
facebook is using our contents in ads?! oh noooes! BAHAHAA
here's a safety tip, don't post anything you'll regret... or make anh angry enough to post anything you'll regret, peaches!
don't ever take anyone back out of pity, it never pays off; they'll always have resentment for what's happened.
if you have to add soy sauce to anything, it's not done right; it's like having some restaurants add fish sauce to PHO! whattapho?!
only now do i discover about WEB THERAPY; Lisa Kudrow is HILARIOUS!
planning to watch PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2, 4, and 6 tonight.
i tend to gravitate towards younger "women", probably subconsciously getting back at my first love for screwing me over with an older man.
no, i will no longer confirm friend requests from doods... unless you have an ugly girlfriend.
130828
hey, i'm always up to helping the needy out, but when an assertive homeless person asks you for change, reply with:
"i'm sorry, do you have a quarter?"
...
that ALWAYS throws them off! BAHAHAA
never cared for strip clubs. why pay when you can get it for free? those girls emit as much human emotions as a toaster.
LATINAS >< KOREANS
...
dammit, what a dilemma!
OLIVIA: well, DON's only met me like 4 times. and so far, all i know is that he likes chocolate milk. haa
...
DON, the only dood i know who can get drunk off of HALF a wine cooler... SOFTCORE!
as long as i don't lay down, i won't fall asleep... cuz sleeping is for LOSERS! i'mma get rid of my bed...
KY: you don't SLEEP, man! what are you taking?!
ANH: it's called a late LATE shower. haa
unless they're performing human or animal sacrifices or mass suicides, no conflict with one religion would prompt me to sever ties with anyone.
130829
time is 1-4-3...
130830
peeps posting about the obvious sweltering weather like it's news.
NEWSFLASH! you can avoid your tedious trips to the gym by regularly eating right and work out at home. good health should be a lifestyle, not a trend.
130831
now, that's the truth... most peeps do look better at the club... where it's dark and where your judgment is undoubtedly clouded by alcohol!
ASPIE QUIZ question 110:
"Do you tend to say things that are considered socially inappropriate when you are tired, frustrated or when you act naturally? "
...
YES, often! naturally!
ASPIE QUIZ question 147:
"Are you easily distracted?"
...
wait, what was that?
a shame i only have a handful of genuinely smart friends. the rest are just... ugly.
ASPIE QUIZ question 4:
"Do you dislike being touched or hugged unless you're prepared or have asked for it?"
...
nooo, i welcome it! BEAR HUGS!
well, it turns out, i have BOTH Aspie and neurotypical traits! WOOHOO!
"at least 2-3 persons of every 1000 in the United States" have ASPERGER syndrome.
"an Aspie is interested primarily in significant contributions to conversation, preferring to avoid "small talk," trivial statements and superficial conversation."
...
yes, i do hate and avoid those meaningless small talks!
"You find joy yourself - the world doesn't just provide it for you. Find things you like to do and do them! Life is a job worth working. It may not always be fun, but it's the one you've been given. You've got to do the best with what you have. What you make of it is up to you. You can either sit around and be depressed, bemoaning the hand life dealt you or you can take what you've been given and work with it. Take control. Make your life what you want it to be."
...
ABSOLUTELY! to all you whiners, stop whining. BAHAHAA
no pungent tobacco odor tonight! did my smoking neighbor finally get evicted?
Wow, the produce at this Mexican market is so fresh, they practically grow it at Miles Square Park.
130803
GALPAL: that girl took a double take on you.
...
Really? I'm so bad at reading signs!
130807
American TV is pretty much sh*t. 100's of channels and barely anything good!
130808
Yes, I often avoid inviting my galpals over cuz my family always automatically think I'm dating them!
NEPHEW: why did you leave aunty KITTY?
ANH: she ate too much... BRISKETS!
I'm ovulating!
130810
MICHELLE: how can anyone not like raspberry wine soju?
ANH: the ones who think tequila is good. Ugh...
RUM... The poison that got me a girlfriend and an FWB at the club! Perhaps I should try that again.
130811
Just donated to two different homeless guys within 2 minutes of each other. Is that wrong?
there's a cover of "it's raining men" playing at the Vietnamese market. Are those people tone-deaf? Sounds terrible! Haa
130812
Even my own family doesn't believe that I do not cheat on women. Thank you for your support!
Everyone keeps cheering for my nephew in his taekwondo class. I kinda feel bad for the other kid.
130815
With technology, we are more connected, yet disconnected. I often avoid using my phone or tablet at the dinner table; it's frakkin' rude to everyone.
ANH: I'm glad I stumbled upon you guys. Great visionary endeavor with creative projects. I actually get to use what I studied for!
ANDREW: That makes me really happy to hear anh! We are really happy we stumbled upon you! We really enjoy working with you
My professional career is slowly getting back on track while you're slowly losing yours; Karma is a bitch, bitch.
130817
Bruce: hope you didn't like me for my money.
Miranda: suffering builds character.
...
Dark Knight Rises
I only cared for the last 30 minutes of "The Dark Knight Rises". BANE and his annoyingly slow speeches.
130818
"It's inevitable, it's just a matter of time. You will get noticed... Keep adding new stuff to your portfolio. It will happen eventually."
...
Marius Bota
130821
I'm convinced my smartphone is made of animal fat.
130822
Jebus, is gas cheaper? Just overflowed my tank!
130823
I'm not a fan, but don't bother opening a beer if you can't finish it. POSERS! Haa
Failures help you evolve personally and professionally. Making mistakes forces you to try new things.
130824
"All my life, I've been liked by both men and women. I have a unisex face."
...
HOTARU no HIKARI 3
"Any woman who tries her best in life is lovely."
...
HOTARU no HIKARI 3
130825
Now, why is there a tiger in the bathroom?!
130826
Funny how some women never learned to apply makeup correctly. It's like they're using Crayolas.
White man: excuse me, what is this (pointing at pile of durians)?
MOM: fruit.
I have to higher my standards; keep dating low grade "women".
It's ridiculously cold in my car. Brrr!
No worries, officer! I don't speed like I used to; too busy dancing to Girls' Generation's whimsical songs!
Jackie Chan died... again? I almost killed myself hearing that "news" cuz I like him even more than Michael Jackson! It's FAKE! Another hoax from some dumb mofo.
ANH: FCUK! Owowow
MOM: what happened?
ANH: I hit this stupid useless coffee table again!
MOM: you need a bandaid?
ANH: no, men don't need bandaids!
MOM: alright, Rambo.
130827
Note to Self: beer is a TERRIBLE chaser for RUM! Fcuk My Wife!
No, it's not that bad; I only drink whenever someone likes my post.
130830
GIFs, the GIF that keeps on GIF-ing!
130831
Just heard a neighbor sneeze "ATCHUM!". No one ever words that out when they sneeze!
Married people tend to forget who their friends are. And if things go sour, they have... no one.
130801
i seldom unfollow Nikki Wang Daebak?'s posts; she's a DAEBAK clown without trying. haa
yes, my SKITS blog is uncensored; i actually name names!
i enjoy introducing good friends to each other since they won't do it on their own!
i don't consider myself a foodie; i don't hunt for all kinds, but i do enjoy the good ones when i stumble upon them.
i definitely do not watch nor read the news; have no need for the extra drama.
SCHINDLER'S LIST
...
"whoever saves one life, saves the world entire... there will be generations because of what you did."
...
wow, finally got to see this masterpiece. beautiful poignant film!
"I've been mulling over the project. Honestly, you're one of our top artists!"
...
wow, encouraging words of praise from an art director! i really need to be around more peeps like this.
CRYSTAL: it's just-- i hate stupid people!
ANH: so i take it, you're not a fan of my ex, kitty.
CRYSTAL: haa no, i'm not. her brains got swapped for her giant DDD boobies.
MOM: all the briskets went to her breasts.
i usually give everyone only one chance.
with restaurants, it's one strike; if they don't impress me the first time, i won't be promoting them at all... PERIOD
sorry, i'm not filipino enough to eat briskets nuked and blackened with zero nutritional value.
...
this excludes Bert Cruz? cuz he actually knows how meat is supposed to be cooked, peaches!
...
"when you go black, you can always go back!"
130803
KITTY: i wouldn't have dated you if i didn't like you.
...
i could've sworn she was only after my BRISKETS! haa
due to KPOP uglies, i haven't checked on pornstars in a LONG while! perhaps, i should.
SPLINTER CELL - BLACKLIST
...
"leave no witnesses behind."
...
i absolutely prefer stealth missions over shoot 'em ups. SAM FISHER cannot be beat!
130804
BARBIE - life in the dreamhouse (season 1)
...
FRIENDS: we're famished... AND starving!
BARBIE: hold on, i may have a mint in my pocket...
...
BAHAHAA these webisodes are priceless!
SKETCHY MICRO: we would like to increase the amount of projects we send you.
...
sonuvaBEEEEP yes, please!
Project Manager: You are good at keeping things distinct and uncluttered, which is why I wanted you to do this project.
to my supporters... i WUV you ALL!
GALPAL: Damn, I wanted to send a bunch of LIKES but it wouldn't let me send 2 in a row!
...
aww, limitations with chat, but i totally appreciate it, boob!
MOM: ethan is starting school in a couple of weeks... REAL school!
ANH: you mean [my nephew]'s been going to a fake one all this time?!
130805
if you wanna succeed, make sure to have a skillset not many have.
everything happens for a reason; things are slowly starting to take shape.
sorry for being MIA for so long. i'll make it up to you, peaches!
INCHEONWON will only be able to sit 5 peeps maximum at my table since Justine? will need extra room for her LEGGGS!
MOM: if a girl catches your eye, you have to grab her right away.
ANH: ooh ooh! where?!
PARK MIN YOUNG (I AM SAM kseries)
...
korean actresses just frakkin' RULE!
130806
flipping through these cable channels, HOLLYWOOD has to be pumping out most of the worst films in the world!
i just ran out of peeps to mass-tag.
i don't see the point of handling extra accounts like twitter, instagram, or pinterest when i can so easily just post everything on FACEBOOK! haa
...
KIT: you're forgetting Google+!
ANH: what's that?
Google+... a place where you can mingle with nobody for some quiet time.
Jeff's response to kitty's nude photos:
"Damn. I got poked in my eye at the gym. Shorts ruined. Thanks hyung!"
JEFF: korean restaurants in that city are closed on sundays for churk.
ANH: CHURK must be a new cult.
JEFF: LOL i turned off auto-correct! i go typewriter style!
ANH: haa hardcore OLD SCHOOL!
KITTY: LOL my bra exploded!
#people #definitely #get #carried #away #with #hashtags
you'd think they'd make all phones shockproof and waterproof. it's all about turning more profit with extra accessories.
130807
wish i could get buzzed without having to drink 4 shots or 6 beers; it would be cheaper.
Didn't know using the creative side of my mind all day long would take so much out of me... Zzzzzz
130808
1251 invites?! haa i doubt my being there would make much difference... DECLINE!
it's tough to decline on peeps' events; you wanna be there, but you don't.
the extremely bored consistently play facebook games.
the ones taking a chance on my artwork find themselves getting their money's worth; they want more... WANG DAEBAK!
JEFF: i could get lost; need GPS.
ANH: haa LOST, like some peeps having trouble figuring out how to use a GPS!
JEFF: kimchi pho... someone should invent that!
ANH: impossible, kimchi would lose its flavor once it hits the flavorful pho broth, brother!
i'm mixing strawberry juice with SOJUUU! is that okay?
i'm sorry, but we koreans can out-eat any texan, peaches!
Anhjun Lozfen completed Level i-have-better-things-to-do in Candy Crush Saga.
no, i very seldom hold grudges; i'm not a bitch.
i don't make excuses. if i need to stare at another girl, i'mma do it; just cuz i'm with you doesn't mean i'm blind.
listen, Nikki?. you already know better than this... good-looking people tend to lack in personality! you have to tell yourself at some point, "i wanna have fun! i'mma date the ugly ones, damnit!"
sorry if i've missed your comments or even tags, peaches! too busy catching up to Jeff Poh?'s massive KPOP links! WOOHOO!
WOMAN: honey~! why did you have to drink so much?!
ANH: cuz he's married to you.
Don Vu? is LEGEND... wait for it... DARY!
130809
a guy should already be serious enough with you after 3 years, married or not. that's commitment; nothing to worry about.
whaaat? nephew drank the last of my strawberry juice?! Simply Lemonade SOJU, it is!
if you hesitate to open up to me about anything personal, i do not consider you a good friend.
yes, i usually know what people like. haa
130810
sorry, but once i find out you're a racist, you won't get as much respect (or any at all) from me; everyone is human, shut up and live with it.
"the meaning of life"? help and live for those who need you; as simple as that.
GOOD will always triumph cuz EVIL is... dumb.
as much as i love people, i stopped trying with some. i only make time for those who matter; you know who you are!
GALPAL: Hah I don't think anyone understands you ... You always make me laugh. Hah.. You entertain others easily.
i need to drink so i'm less shy around people. BAHAHAA *burp*
briskets disappear waaay too fast from the grill! seating at a table of 4... or 1 is best.
INCEPTION is such a soothing and inspiring soundtrack to concentrate and draw to.
almost choked on my own burp. whattafcuk?
ANH: the chinese dragon is more stylish than the medieval dragon.
MICHELLE ROSS: Very true.... Medieval is just so big and bulky.
ANH: like most americans.
MICHELLE: haa so mean!
ANH: haa truth hurts.i will only write that in my blog.i have some fat friends; they can read it in my blog.
GALPAL: I really want a tattoo that I can see; I get bummed that I can't see my dragon.
ANH: have a map of america done on your face.
am i loud? i feel like when i talk, EVERYONE can hear!
Tuanson Nguyen? has to be a lucky dood; RAINA is DAEBAK!
yes, i can easily fake an american accent... in FRENCH!
Anhjun Schindler
...
since i changed my name, hopefully, no one can find me now...
SISTER: i had to block the adult channels--
ANH: oh nono, no big deal! i have my own.
SISTER: because of ethan (nephew)...
ANH: thank you for taking a break from WARCRAFT to answer, hardcore korean gamer with 400x connection!
JEFF: haa I don't play warcraft or games anymore. koreans play STARCRAFT!
ANH: yeah, i'm too busy drawing. video games, once in a blue moon... for 15 minutes. BAHAHAA
JEFF: Choa is like the second coming of Taeyeon.
TAEYEON: Thanks oppa for making me cum twice!
130811
TRON UPRISING
...
with a wide range of extremely original looking characters.
this is 3D animation as 2D done RIGHT; KICKASS series!
i'm barely starting the AVATAR series; and have to continue WALKING DEAD... season 2! haa jebus, so much to catch up with!
130812
HONDA U3-X self-balancing "unicycle" is DAEBAK!
haa love the tech, but that's just gonna make fat americans LAZIER!
the ones who don't know any better tend to jump into the iphone bandwagon here. i'm not brand-biased... unless it's SAMSUNG! BAHAHAA
SAMSUNG note 10.1 is making me money, not iPAD; i'm doing commissioned work drawing on it. ; not just EPIC fail, but APPLE FAIL! LIKE
...
"those who work own PCs." BAHAHAA
FRIEND: what's he doing anyway?
ANH: dunno, duncare.
...
TIP: stop hanging with peeps that slow you down.
9MUSES "friends fun" potato chips commercial
...
only south korea can make an ENTIRE music video to advertise CHIPS! haa KYUNGRI is such a hottie.
130813
JEFF: i dreamt about one of your galpals.
ANH: that would be a nightmare for me.
130814
PASS! no princesses nor lesbians for me, thank-you.
i wouldn't mind having 2 1/2 kids... 2 kids and a dwarf... or a dog.
i'm a "mother-father gentleman"! yes, i tend to treat women with respect, but it doesn't necessarily means i'm into you.
if i happen to miss anyone in my last post, tag yourself!
whoa, jebus... grape juice + soju = wine!
130815
"could you use an iPAD for drawing?"
...
haa again, NOOO! cuz APPLE is just too narcissistic to have WACOM technology built-in!
GALPAL: are you going to her wedding?
ANH: psh, she deleted me.
GALPAL: aww, anyone else i would understand, but you?
ANH: haa it's okay, there are smarter ones where she came from.
most people aren't bad; they just choose the wrong people to side with.
when an asian asks me, "what's DAEBAK?", they're not asian enough for me.
drinking tremendously helps drown out anyone's nagging... LIKE!
jebus, i'm eating more yogurt than i should be!
no sweat, it only looks like i have a drinking problem on facebook; i have only one true addiction... KPOP, peaches!
am i the only one who thinks ISLANDS burger restaurant is overrated?
used to have trust in people... till i met cambodians.
no, i definitely do not believe in the devil... i have no fear.
hey dumb-dumb, you might finally be able to get a woman when you stop referring to them as PUSSIES!
...
KITTY: LOL i get that ALL the time!
130816
you have to choose to be happy. if you're gonna keep stressing over every little thing, don't drag anyone else down with you.
i don't know how anyone cannot enjoy laughing... HARD. REALLY LOUDLY!
130817
when i have interest in someone, i usually initiate even if my friends saw her first. she's the one who makes the choice. haa
puh-leez, i was raised with Frenchies. keep an open mind, try all flavors.
EX: i never told you my ex was a guy.
...
haa whatta...? WHY?!
130818
"Why do I have friends on my list whom I've never added and don't know?"
...
either they just changed their facebook name or you forgot whom you've added; i tend to do that with family members. haa
wearing a wrist brace to ease the pain from using the mouse. haa loving it! feeling like a STREET FIGHTER!
130819
deleting those who are DOA (dead on arrival, inactive) is the logical thing to do; they're just wasting facebook real-estate!
OMGWTFKBBQ she lost my precious DVD?! i'mma have to delete her then.
ANH: are you listening? i was NEVER interested in marie! i was into CHIME!
ROSA: but she had a boyfriend!
ANH: so what?!
those who frustrate you only test your patience; be the better person and deal with them in a civilized manner.
130821
INTERVIEWER: you're our forerunner; apart from what you can do, you are great with communication. we like that.
...
haa thanks for noticing! i was tired from not talking in high school!
humility i do have; i do often share my artwork, but i do not expect everyone to like it.
don't ever make the mistake of regarding your supervisors as friends... they shouldn't even be regarded as people! haa ugh...
130822
ANH: eww, check out that car! looks like uncle Don?'s, it needs a wash!
NEPHEW: no, uncle DON's car is worse; it has a flat tire, all its windows are broken, his license plate is cut in half... AND he stores gum in his hair!
...
BAHAHAA he doesn't even chew gum!
ANDREW ZIMMERN is always eating exotic and freaky food, but he never features delicious dog-meat dishes cuz his show would instantly go off the air.
"Character concept/Illustrationist [wanted]"
...
is that even a word?
do not shoot your mouth off around me; that will be posted on facebook... with your name on it.
...
NICOLE: I believe all of us learned the hard way when we first met you. Lol!!
ANH: nicole, you never shot your mouth off, but i put you on BLAST a few times for being ugly and whatever other reasons. haa LIKE!
once i find out a galpal is being bitchy to another, i usually sever ties with the ugly one; quite difficult when they both are.
Ms DAEBAK, how do i sync your newsfeed to MY wall cuz...
Nicole Says the Darndest Things! and "i don't wanna miss a thing..."
130824
SISTER: ethan, how much more will i have to spend on you?
ANH: till he's 14... when he moves out for college.
ANH: can you find your way home?
DON: yeah, i'll be fine. i have UPS nagivation.
ANH: yeah, i met you last time! you're SARVY's brother!
SALMAN: yes, SALMAN.
ANH: wait, "solomon"?
SALMAN: no, "salman".
ANH: "salmon"?
SARVY: omigod! i can't believe he farted before he left!
ANH: that was his parting gift. you didn't see the green cloud?
SOLTAN: oh, i'm sorry. is this your drink?
ANH: s'alright! you can have it!
SOLTAN: really? what's your name?
ANH: ANH... A-N-H.
SOLTAN: haa thanks, CHANG!
SARVY: is the fire turned off?
DON: what did she say?
ANH: she asked if there's anymore fire in your bedroom!
DON: ugh, it extinguished since my first born.
130826
the ones who haven't texted me their name are still figuring out their iphone.
130827
facebook is using our contents in ads?! oh noooes! BAHAHAA
here's a safety tip, don't post anything you'll regret... or make anh angry enough to post anything you'll regret, peaches!
don't ever take anyone back out of pity, it never pays off; they'll always have resentment for what's happened.
if you have to add soy sauce to anything, it's not done right; it's like having some restaurants add fish sauce to PHO! whattapho?!
only now do i discover about WEB THERAPY; Lisa Kudrow is HILARIOUS!
planning to watch PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2, 4, and 6 tonight.
i tend to gravitate towards younger "women", probably subconsciously getting back at my first love for screwing me over with an older man.
no, i will no longer confirm friend requests from doods... unless you have an ugly girlfriend.
130828
hey, i'm always up to helping the needy out, but when an assertive homeless person asks you for change, reply with:
"i'm sorry, do you have a quarter?"
...
that ALWAYS throws them off! BAHAHAA
never cared for strip clubs. why pay when you can get it for free? those girls emit as much human emotions as a toaster.
LATINAS >< KOREANS
...
dammit, what a dilemma!
OLIVIA: well, DON's only met me like 4 times. and so far, all i know is that he likes chocolate milk. haa
...
DON, the only dood i know who can get drunk off of HALF a wine cooler... SOFTCORE!
as long as i don't lay down, i won't fall asleep... cuz sleeping is for LOSERS! i'mma get rid of my bed...
KY: you don't SLEEP, man! what are you taking?!
ANH: it's called a late LATE shower. haa
unless they're performing human or animal sacrifices or mass suicides, no conflict with one religion would prompt me to sever ties with anyone.
130829
time is 1-4-3...
130830
peeps posting about the obvious sweltering weather like it's news.
NEWSFLASH! you can avoid your tedious trips to the gym by regularly eating right and work out at home. good health should be a lifestyle, not a trend.
130831
now, that's the truth... most peeps do look better at the club... where it's dark and where your judgment is undoubtedly clouded by alcohol!
ASPIE QUIZ question 110:
"Do you tend to say things that are considered socially inappropriate when you are tired, frustrated or when you act naturally? "
...
YES, often! naturally!
ASPIE QUIZ question 147:
"Are you easily distracted?"
...
wait, what was that?
a shame i only have a handful of genuinely smart friends. the rest are just... ugly.
ASPIE QUIZ question 4:
"Do you dislike being touched or hugged unless you're prepared or have asked for it?"
...
nooo, i welcome it! BEAR HUGS!
well, it turns out, i have BOTH Aspie and neurotypical traits! WOOHOO!
"at least 2-3 persons of every 1000 in the United States" have ASPERGER syndrome.
"an Aspie is interested primarily in significant contributions to conversation, preferring to avoid "small talk," trivial statements and superficial conversation."
...
yes, i do hate and avoid those meaningless small talks!
"You find joy yourself - the world doesn't just provide it for you. Find things you like to do and do them! Life is a job worth working. It may not always be fun, but it's the one you've been given. You've got to do the best with what you have. What you make of it is up to you. You can either sit around and be depressed, bemoaning the hand life dealt you or you can take what you've been given and work with it. Take control. Make your life what you want it to be."
...
ABSOLUTELY! to all you whiners, stop whining. BAHAHAA
no pungent tobacco odor tonight! did my smoking neighbor finally get evicted?
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