SKITS AUG

140801
el mundo se ve maravilloso cuando estoy contigo.

FEM: yea hershey's is good with smores. but not really anything else. haa
ANH: hershey's is good with... NUTELLA!

140802
it's those peeps you thought were COOL who turn out to be LAME who are the most disappointing.

140803
funny how most people who attend, whether it'd be church or the temple, just never change for the better. this is one main reason i've lost faith. no longer do i need to pray to cleanse my karma. i'm just happy being myself and think for myself.

i feel this pure and gentle aura coming from her and i wanna shield her from anything unpleasant.

told her to stop following the news and watch more fantasies, comedies, and PORN!

140806
i'm absolutely anti-abstinence; it's like depriving yourself from pastries... or BRISKETS!

140809
if i see a close friend disrespecting another, i'mma severe ties with them without hesitation. couldn't care less how long we've known each other. RESPECT!

DON: so what kind of meat can you really eat?
alondra: i don't really eat meat, but i like HIS meat!

alondra: how did you learn all of your tricks?
ANH: haa porn.

she loves my dog OREO, so i gave her my plush doll STITCH who looks like him. haa

140810
wow, cutting drama queens and psychopaths out of my circles feels so frakkin' AWESOME!

doesn't take a genius to be considerate towards others. fcuk all the idiots who don't get that.

140817
"do not chase after people. be you, do your own thing, and work hard. the right people who belong in your life will come to you and stay."
...
Alondra: because true friendship is not about who came first or who knows you longer; it is about who came and never left.

140819
just had to turn the TV off on CONAN's interview with Jessica Alba. used to be a huge fan of hers... till i noticed her lack of acting skills; and she's not even at all interesting! WHY?

140821
people's #1 fears about dating on OKCupid:
...
MEN - "i hope she looks like her pictures; i hope she's not fat."
WOMEN - "i hope i don't get murdered."

140824
"the woman is the reflection of her man. if you love her to the point of madness, she will become it."
...
Brad Pitt is damn right... some of you ladies looking tired and miserable undoubtedly need to leave the loser you're with; NEVER settle!

140825
"Your drunk personality is just your regular personality x 100"
...
BAHAHAA alright, that one's me.

140831
"cuz all of me loves all of you. love your curves and all your edges. all your perfect imperfections..." ~ John Legend

140802
ALONDRA: I'll never forget you! EVER!
ANH: you cannot forget me. NO REFUND!

140803
"people call these things imperfections, but they're not... we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds... you're not perfect, sport. this girl you met, she isn't perfect either. but the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other."
...
Good Will Hunting

I'mma try and be my best for you and shield you from anything unpleasant. I want you to be happy, sweetie.

140804
te amo mucho, mi señorita sabrosa.

"every time that you want me around, I'll be there at the speed of sound..." ~ Miranda Cosgrove

sorry, I gave you too much meat on your plate AND the bedroom.

140805
not only is she not a useless princess, but this wonderful girl even opens doors for me? aww she already has my heart though! mi señorita sabrosa...

"I will never try to deny that you're my whole life... I don't need another woman..." ~ Chris Brown

"baby, everything I have is yours. you'll never go cold or hungry... cuz you are the only thing that I got right now..." ~ Chris Brown

"I don't need no other one... I'm staying here, I ain't going nowhere... all I need is you... ain't nobody else can match our flavor... I ain't never gonna change you..." ~ Taio Cruz

never lay your hand on a woman (unless your life is threatened). for any guy who does, I'll fcuk you up.

140808
"hold my hand, move your body. I'm your man. I need somebody. can I take you back...? you could be the love of my life..."

140810
during a full moon is one of the few times Don turns human.

140811
"you look at me and you take me to another place. got me feeling like I'm flying in outer space. got me begging, got me hoping that the night don't stop..." ~ Enrique Iglesias

Alondra: my days are much better thanks to you im happy to have u in my life...

140812
I swyped "Bernadette" and got "vinaigrette".

Alondra: il est l'homme le plus romantique que j'ai jamais rencontré dans ma vie,,,I'm feeling lucky  ..

BARISTA: what's your name?
ANH: uh... Cornelius.
FEM: why didn't you use your real name?
ANH: I don't wanna bother spelling it out.

140813
"tu me miras y me llevas a otra dimensión... abrazarte y sentir la magia de tu olor" ~ Enrique Iglesias

"no war can destroy us, no news gonna bring us down... by love we're bound. no lie can affect us, no fool can tear us apart..." ~ Charice Pempengco

140815
Alondra, you're not in the jungle anymore. we have pillows.

140816
she doesn't know how beautiful she is. she may very well be the love of my life.

140817
my sister went to Cancun... and brought home a Mexican. my nephew is two shades darker than he already was! BAHAHAA

140819
if you run into peeps you've deleted, just tell them that you only use Instacrap now; and that an impostor is using your identity to comment with your mutual friends. BAHAHAA that's so STUPID!

140820
vegetarians taste so good.

DORITOS Dinamita, fiery habanero
...
JEBUS RICE, these are so frakkin' SPICY!

25/8 143 overtime

good things come to those who don't wait. haa

140821
I'm dipping Red Vines in Nutella, and no one can STOP ME!

140823
"if there's any happiness left in my life, I'll give it all to you... I am your number one fan."
...
FATED to Love You, Kseries

140824
I'm Eurasian and I disapprove of eating live octopus, half grown baby birds, and dolphins. for the most part, western food is inferior to eastern food on so many levels though. haa

140826
JULIE: did you hear how she was talking to me?
ANH: she's probably pissed about something.
JULIE: do you have anybody here you don't get along with? you get along with everybody! ANH: no, I don't! wait, I do. haa

JULIE: anh, do you dye your hair?
ANH: nooo, it's naturally red.

140827
ELEAH probably has penis envy. she burns bras! she should burn KITTY's! haa you can use hers as a  camping tent... for TWO!

140828
finally got to start "American Horror Story"... an engaging series! dat. luscious. housemaid! jizzed