SKITS JAN

140101
ANH: party of 3, please. how long is the wait?
GEN BBQ: oh, it'll be about 2 hours.
ANH: jebus, you guys are booked today! i'm not that addicted!

ANH: say NO to VHS-quality videos!
DON: what is wrong with that?
GALPAL: what's that?

ANH: thanks a million again for linking me to those KPOP goodies! i should call you LINKING PARK too!
JEFF: KANDYMAN will suffice and always satisfy!
SHE: haa that's what i said!

Anhjun Lozfen... endorsing KPOP since... he found out about KPOP.
...
ANH: i approve of this ad!

you can take your GRAND TURISMO, NEED FOR SPEED, and shove it. DRIVER San Francisco, hands-DOWN, blows any racing games off the track! this is drifting and downhill jumps at their BEST!
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not to mention, INSANE take-no-prisoner police chases! WOOHOO!

don't get me wrong, i like japs, just not with my KPOP!

NEWS: LEE SEUNGGI and YOONA are dating!
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WHYYY? he can do so much better! she's a BORE... to watch.

140202

(watching kpop concert videos)
MOM: wow, those music producers really know how to keep south koreans happy.
ANH: i'm living in the WRONG country!

9 Times Time Travel (kseries)
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NIECE: i wanna know, who was your girlfriend?
UNCLE: she doesn't remember me. she has... amnesia.
NIECE: AMNESIA?
UNCLE: they commonly have that in drama series.
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haa love it when they reference themselves in any medium! the lead character traveling back in time to prevent his fiancee from becoming his niece?! COUNT ME IN! episode 6, and it just keeps getting interestingly complex.
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MOM: wait, i don't get it.
ANH: i don't understand why you don't understand... understand?
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BAHAHAA time-traveling plots are sooo mind-boggling!

no more witless high school series nonsense for me! there are so many better written ones out there! DAEBAK

INCHEONWON MEATING!
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alright peaches, anymore takers? i have to make reservations a week ahead! it's OKAY to DECLINE! i won't hold it against you... i'll just be waiting for you in the parking lot. MUAHAHAA

140104
i want this gel mouse pad of OSHIMA YUKO for FESTIVUS!

iPHONE... yesterday's technology... TODAY!
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BAHAHAA blind cult

140105
"americans make all the quality products!"
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*ahem* BMW is not american-made.

my sister's dad thinks he can get a photoshop app and do his own photo manipulations. he just undermined what i do. they don't charge $600 a copy for no reason. BAHAHAA

naah, they wouldn't know how to use torrents nor scan their computer for viruses... APPLE users. BAHAHAA

sorry, i stopped drawing for free when i realized i could make money with such skills.

yes, i will attempt to change my profile pic every hour!

140106
some peeps even believe the unbelievable nonsense they spread. ugh...

attempt FAILED!

SAMSUNG notepro to be 12.2"?! what is WONG with you?! jizzed

140107
24 hours to get over the flu... ridiculous.

if you don't think before you talk again, i'mma have to post about you.

facebook: what books have you read?
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like sleep, reading is for LOSERS!

anyone still beating CANDY CRUSH levels, you seriously need to find a hobby!

140109
VICKY: seriously? you're eating noodles with a FORK?!
galpal: yeah, i was born here.
VICKY: but you're fcukin' ASIAN!
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haa vicky is HILARIOUS!

VICKY: i wish you were a girl. i drive a LAMBO! haa
ANH: haa chick
magnet! is it electric?! i can't afford the gas!

VICKY: wow, your forehead is HUGE!
ANH: that's what she said!
VICKY: you must be thinking all the time. you're CEREBRAL!
ANH: i can move objects with my mind.

VICKY: what's the origin of your name LOSFELD?
ANH: oh, it's german.
VICKY: haa how does it feel to be part of the ARYAN RACE?
ANH: i love all colors. BAHAHAA

140110
i hate those who keep hiding from cameras. if you're that hideous, you shouldn't even be seen in public.

in general, most people are lousy tippers. i had to cover the tip for some. respect the servers!

i'mma be vegetarian... for a day.

adding more peeps to my INCHEONWON blacklist... and using a fork is an immediate penalty!

140112
alright, i keep getting spams from some of you guys so don't be surprised if you get deleted!

i keep my GPS locator on my phone off to avoid drive-bys.

no one has a clear idea what i do. let's keep it that way.

just because one prefers to workout at home instead of living at the gym doesn't make one lazy. it's so much more convenient.

140113
is "report/block" the same as unfollowing someone's news feed?

PERSONALITY TEST:
You are happy and unflappable. You are a very sensitive and understanding person. You are a great listener who know how to be non-judgmental. You believe that everybody has their own journey in life. You are open to new people and events. You are highly resistant to stress and rarely worry. Normally, you are very relaxed. You always manage to have a good time and never lose your way.

"one of my dogs got eaten by coyotes, and the other one was hit by a car."
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wow, great reminders to bring to a birthday CELEBRATION, Debbie Downer!

i do have a controversial sense of humor that's turned some "friends" into foes. and i really do not care. the ones who know me better just get me. that's all that matters! fcuk da POLICE! except for my uncle, of course, he's one of the coolest relatives EVERRR!

ANH: come on! isn't your sister drinking too?
colleague: oh no, she's under-age.
ANH: and...?

co-workers usually only cover their own asses. it's rare to find anyone you can trust in the office.

colleague: i just added you on facebook. haa
ANH: oh, what is that?
colleague: it's a social network!
ANH: haa i know, but i rarely use it!
colleague: it said you just updated your cover photo! i like those girls! YUM
ANH: well, there are some aspects i'd like to keep private from my co-workers.
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BAHAHAA if you don't get my drift, i'll tell you straight out.

COUSIN: i can't date cuz girls have cooties.
SISTER: did you hear that, ethan? girls have cooties.
NEPHEW: they have what?
AUNT: don't say that! you don't want him to turn gay, do you?
SISTER: oh nonono, they don't! they don't!

140116
FEM: oh, i miss grandpa...
ANH: RICH or Don?

140119
finally got to watch ZATOICHI - The Blind Swordsman. i definitely get the hype now. this film is a bonafide brutal MASTERPIECE! i'll have to catch more of Takeshi Kitano's works.

MOM: true, huh? so many guys are too dumb to keep a girl from getting pregnant.
ANH: yeah, i always pull out and spray on their face.
DON: INAPPROPRIATE!

forget online traffic school! they cut you a lot of slack for showing up in person!

hypocrite, he bashes korean culture, yet salivates over our girls.

one major reason why i lost my religion is due to racist hypocrites. make your own path, don't be a mere sheep to any institution.

i'm always the one breaking up with them first, but i always take them back. WHY?! is guilt something i can actually feel?

the dood has a serious blonde fetish, but his wife won't dye her hair... nor turn white.

finally got to watch ZATOICHI - The Blind Swordsman. i definitely get the hype now. this film is a bonafide brutal MASTERPIECE! i have to catch more of Takeshi Kitano's other works.

140120
who is miley, and why can't she keep her tongue in her mouth?

140121
the dood's sooo gay, yet he won't take big fat BEAR HUGS from me. that's a  little homophobic right there! booooo!

140122
ANH: i hope my texts are not bothering you. i just love people, and you're one of the most beautiful.
TENA: you are so freaking ADORABLE! not a bother at all!

"in my heart that is the sky, there is a sun called you."
...
MASTER'S SUN OST

i believe humanity is for the most part... good. just need to eliminate all the bad ones.

"Pareto's law - 20% of people cause 80% of the problems."

i believe Jonas Guarin?'s KY and Jasper Zheng?'s BERNADETTE are two of the genuinely good people in this world.

for those who know JESS all too well, she's always eating... even in her sleep. SLEEP-eating!

ANH: Kim Soo Hyun has turned into one of my favorite serious actors.
CRYSTAL: mine too. and he's just so cute!
ANH: he IS! how many guys can say that with a straight face, huh?!

ANH: you don't need to be social. who needs friends anyway! you can stay home... with CATS!
CRYSTAL: haa nooo, but i want a wolf! better yet, a WEREWOLF!
Don?: teehee!

140123
my ex just agreed to a nude photoshoot at INCHEONWON. i'm ecstatic.

when KITTY first pulled off her shirt, her DDDs deployed like AIRBAGS!

140124
those who claim to be smarter than anybody else are the dumbest people i know. i believe the term is DOUCHE. i'm not, i just play a really convincing one.

some girls really think every guy is after them. reality is, we much prefer the modest ones who have no idea how attractive they are.

i absolutely cannot stand fake people. it's when they run into even faker peeps than they are that's HILARIOUS! psh, don't bother coming to me when you need help.

"$20,000 in Reward Money Now Offered for Info Leading to the Capture of Kim Pham's Killers"
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ANH: bring them all down to my sterile soundproof basement, i'll show you justice.
BRANDON:  You gotta fore play first tho ., restrain good hold them down well, make sure their secured right nice & tight ,...sit by their side play some music ,... Have a smoke , have a drink while you blast the chainsaw /sharpen up a knife ..taunt their face with roaring chainsaw up in front of their face ...beat their skull bash their face administer slicing wounds black em out toss the almost dead blacked out bodies away from you're place make sure they don't know you or remember where you live .... I'm jk no I'm not , I'd feel sorry for anyone who deserved this.
ANH: BAHAHAA this is incriminating evidence, brandon! yet again, killing murderers is not a crime.

killing murderers is not a crime.

alright, here's the problem with some of you guys... you wanna date them? stop treating them like a buddy or a little sister!

140125
REPLIER 1: god is good! god is great! god can move mountains!
REPLIER 2: so can earthquakes. can you tell your god to stop them from killing people?
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BAHAHAA checkmate

you cannot force religion on anyone. it's like forcing everyone to love briskets. waittaminit...

dammit, i dread daylight. that means i have to sleep.

011426
"there are very few things i care about... my girls, my porn..."
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written and directed by Gordon-Levitt, this gem of a film hits the mark! LOVE IT!

DOOD: yeah, my penis is 2 inches... OFF THE GROUND! BAHAHAA
ANH: WOW! so you can blow yourself!
DOOD: ...

MALEFICENT
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not a real fan of angelina, but she does star in great films.

140127
as a female colleague, don't link me to nude photos of yourself. it's confusing; i'm really bad with signs!

reliable selfless people are scarce. if you happen to know some, hold onto them.

the comment-editing feature is DAEBAK!

140128
fem colleague: i'm 120 lbs. i need to lose weight.
ANH: nooo, don't want chicken legs! to a legsman, that's like losing CUP SIZES!

120-pounders talking about losing weight when there are FAR bigger women! i LOVE ugly giant babies!

i cannot follow your news feed if every post is written in HIEROGLYPHS!

i watched the Grammys for 2 minutes. not enough eye-candy female rappers.

WHAT...? i just finished the internet...

i should've gotten kitty drunk to shoot her naked, but it was impossible! all the alcohol dissolved into her BOOBS!

"sorry, i had to untag myself from your photo. my son uses my account. LOL"
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question is, what the fcuk is an 8-year old doing on facebook?!

PMS does not belong in the workplace. if you cannot keep it under control, don't show up! whadda heo is up her ass?

i'm opening my SAMSUNG NX300 camera club. reserve your spot, peaches!
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(nude models get VIP membership)

i went from rapping with DRE to singing the Beegees at the karaoke lounge. sonuvaBEEEEP that was one great night!

Jess?: :)) card me before we drink beer, okay?
ANH: card you before you get into my Korean Kamera Klub!
(Don? standing as security) *KPOP thumping inside*

ANH: she's always thinking everyone at work is out to get her!
JESS: seriously, you can't tell a crazy person they're crazy. haa

screw this stupid diet! i'mma eat this BANANA!

Jeff?... the Kandyman!
ANH... the Korruptor!
Crystal... the Macaron Maker!
Jess?... Eats-Every-Hour!
Don?: WOOF!

HOORAY for inside jokes that nobody gets!

140129
ANH: my car alarm system just stopped working completely.
colleague: why don't you install those alarms that go off ALL the time, letting you know the car is fine?

when i mentioned RYAN's "model" LEV being a clueless poser, SUNNY laughed! you do get more beautiful shots with an uninhibited  model who can naturally pose herself. not any girl can model, that's a fact!

SPICA "you don't love me"
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SPICA has to be one of the most vocally-talented girl bands EVERRR!

some friends are just too asian for me. would it hurt you to have more than just yellow people in your circle? really? and what's with this overrated BOILING CRAB? everyone knows it's all about the BRISKETS!

140131
chuc mung nam moi het xay lap xuong!

i don't like reading, english is my 3rd language.

140101
GEN KBBQ wasn't meant to be, so I had to settle for homemade PHO. BAHAHAA

this is releasing so much endorphins for me. I can really give you all BIG FAT BEAR HUGS! I'm on DRUGS! HELLOVENUS goodness!

140110
finding dates is easy, keeping me interested is another. I enjoy conversations tremendously.

sushi chefs are now also obligated to wear gloves? yes, please. I've had too many food poisonings.

"is your galpal with the LEGS coming?!"
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BAHAHAA yum

140111
it really doesn't matter how many times you explain yourself. gossipers believe what they wanna believe. whattafcuk

never had anyone bring their own A1 steak sauce to a Korean BBQ. haa not prohibited, but that's plain WEIRD!

140113
thanks for your consistent play-by-play sport updates, but there's ESPN for that. MEH!

colleague just sent me a friend request. no thanks, not even potential dates get added!

people forget what Facebook was originally created for. who's HOT, who's NOT?

140114
you can never meet enough new faces. the lame ones filter themselves out. works for me.

140115
I have to gas the car every two weeks? ridiculous.

140116
glow filters are used WAY too often to edit photos. are you people that hideous in person?

sister's dad: be careful, hackers can see you through your computer.
ANH: how will they see you without a webcam?
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BAHAHAA paranoia is hilarious!

140116
FEM: don't you wanna explore other restaurants?
ANH: no.

140117
where can I find brisket-flavored bacon?

140118
"I'm skipping the after party. I'm going home with you."
...
JYJ

140120
isn't showing up to work this morning for LOSERS?

my password at work starts with "GD". haa REPRESENT!

140121
fem colleague: here are freebies.
ANH: ooh, Crest mouthwash, toothpaste... I don't floss, my teeth are too close together.
fem colleague: BAHAHAA

#hashtag

left my Coke can on the roof of my car. lost a perfectly good drink! AAARGH

fem colleague: oh, I don't mind you shooting me nude. only from the waist down though.

not enough American women bother to wear dresses and skirts. it's all jeans ALL the time! ugh

MOM: what's wrong?
ANH: oh no, I'm just tired.
MOM: get some sleep then!
ANH: nono, I'm fine.
MOM: take a nap!
ANH: OMMA! REAL men don't sleep!

140122
I'm sorry for the ones who know nothing else outside their own little culture. it's a HUGE world out there and I'm glad I'm not living in a tiny box.

"Kim Pham beaten to death outside Santa Ana night club..."
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this is one perfect reason why I stay away from the news. all it does is saddens and boils my blood.

it's a fcuked up world, indeed.

it's common courtesy. I appreciate everyone who replies.

Tena. too. irresistible. must. RESIST!

140123
I support the death penalty for the rightfully accused.

KIM PHAM's family kept her on life support in order to donate her organs... even while suffering such great loss.

gladiatorial games should be reinstated as capital punishment.

perhaps this is a good time for me to continue watching DEXTER.

fem colleague: this sucks, I get no reception in here!
ANH: who's your phone provider?
fem colleague: Verizon, $100 a month!
ANH: VIRGIN mobile here, $35 a month. and I have reception. haa

not enjoying INCHEONWON at least once a month is UNACCEPTABLE!

I absolutely need to pay respect to the brisket GODS!

there is no devil. have no fear.

140124
fem colleague: haa you seem so giddy this morning!
ANH: possibly cuz I didn't shower. BAHAHAA I had brie croissandwich!

I could've kept you as just an extra in my series, but I'm happy I've welcomed you into my world, you wonderful person.

I'm thankful for all you wonderful peaches who turned into regulars in my world. there's an obvious lack of interesting people, indeed.

human contact is extremely important. if I were to be stranded on an island, I too would be talking to a volley ball named WILSON.

graphic design, manga, animation, photography... 2 out of 4, not bad!

nobody's perfect. imperfections make one more unique.

too bad you have no sex drive, I would've introduced you to my uglies. haa

the more you think I'm racist, the more I'll rub it in your face.

two words, SUNG HI LEE. my prelude to the supleme lace.

I hardly listen to the 80s, but when I do, it's OMD "electricity". HAPPY MONDAY, peaches!

hey look, a frakkin' meteor hit my sunroof! one good reason I rather not drive a convertible unless I wear a helmet and body armor.

perhaps some suicidal bird shattered my sunroof.

despite that setback, I'm still getting myself a DSLR replacement. need to return to shooting uglies!

manager: yeah, some people do stay till 6 pm.
ANH: oh, I can't... I'm afraid of ghosts.

DUNG: you can claim to your insurance company that some guy's car hit your sunroof and ran.
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BAHAHAA unpossible!

140125
peeps who keep planning things with flakes must really enjoy frustration.

140126
fake people have a lot to hide cuz they have a certain image that they want everyone to believe.

is it okay to take lunch at noon?

I want it to rain in the office already!
140128
I don't keep things i don't need. i just give them away; that includes electronics... and women.

racing stripes on a smart car? WHY? only Mini Coopers can get away with that!

I'm mentally drained. this is what happens when you're the only one they want in your department.

my colleague thinks everyone in the office is out to get her. I should tell her that her phone might be bugged. paranoia is HILARIOUS!

I enjoy messing with those "suffering" from OCD. I tend to swivel everything at an angle. no checkerboard organization here! haa

140129
if you keep losing good friends, it's not them, it's you.

you can drop those cigs now. they will only help you gain more weight.

I'm pretty much ready to commit again, but there are way too many frogs.

I want to comment on your post, but I don't cuz I'm weary of your friends jumping in with irrelevant jibber-jabber.

CONAN is pretty much the only talk show host I care to watch. the man is a natural!

140130
"I hate Facebook"
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not for antisocials and those who want to hide their true colors. haa

I eat them up, they call me a MONSTER.

those I do date usually marry the next guy within a year... or get a divorce.

some girls are just too charming. I was talking to this company representative over the phone and it sounded like she was flirting the whole entire time!  Mary-Kate, are you on Facebook?!

I can tell how mentally unstable some women are from the very first conversation. those are really bad cases! ugh

how da heo can anybody be drunk at this time?! almost swerved into my lane, but hit the center divider instead! only in MEXICO!

140131
always the butterfaces who have the banging bodies. I'mma stop hanging with uglies.

PARIS is a little overrated; lived there, done that. if you have money to burn, visit the south of France near the beaches, more worthwhile.
double feature with RED 2 and G.I. JOE 2. Lee Byung Hun is da MAN!

drinking Bokbunja SOJU and watching BIGBANG's "fantastic baby". HAPPY NEW YEAR, peaches!

oh yeah, I have to retrieve all of TAEYANG's music videos that i lost. that guy's HOT!

"you don't figure out a man's feelings through his heart, but through his actions."
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I NEED ROMANCE Kseries
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get that right, clueless women!

if your favorite Korean series is BOYS OVER FLOWERS, you don't know Korean series. the most overrated snooze-fest... among pre-pubic girls. 20 episodes too long!

there was never a time I didn't like you.
...
disregard my last message. I was buzzed... but I meant it. haa

reading is for LOSERS!