omo, running into childhood friends from france on facebook, but i won't force them to add me if they cannot remember. haa
hmm, seems like my ex is seeing a marriage counselor...
131202
i'm kinda liking it better this way; i'mma hang out more with the ones that matter!
those peeps who don't post much of anything are easily forgotten; out of sight, out of mind. you want others to socialize with you, you have to participate... INCHEONWON, peaches!
my nephew told me i'm partially responsible for PSY's rapid global fame promoting his music videos... and anything KPOP on facebook. BAHAHAA
cars? sports? sportcars? psh, i like women over everything... except FOOD!
my wingman's wifey won't allow him to go out at the moment. aww, he does have balls though... the ones chained to his ankles!
my korean colleague spelled "IN CHON WON" instead of INCHEONWON. haa close, but no cigar! KOREAN FAIL!
hungry for KYUNGRI! her band's new single "GLUE" hitting youtube in a few hours!
KYUNGRI is a gamer, so fast with her hands... the possibilities!
all the ugly girls that focker knows, he met through me. he should know his place.
my ugly posts sure beat those camwhores with the same exact "new" profile pic EVERY single time. boooring!
no, i do not hate smokers... just that pungent odor that goes up my nose and stings my eyes! they're people too, right? RIGHT?!
i really only have a handful of friends... me and my other personalities.
most peeps are just plain boring online, but it's those who are even MORE boring in person that i dread running into.
BERNADETTE: anh, you need to buy a facebook phone and work for facebook.
...
this girly is HILARIOUS!
...
CHRIS SICAM: LOL Mark Zuckerberg is following you!
NGOC: that girl is damn sexy!
ANH: she's okay, just not interesting.
NGOC: maybe she's not your type.
ANH: mentally, no. she smokes weed so... she's a little slow.
i do not hate weed smokers. it's just too difficult to carry any conversation that would make any sense with them... unless it's JAMES FRANCO, i'm GAME! that dood is WANG DAEBAK!
ANH: some suspect me to be INCHEONWON's secret promoter.
CASSIDY: who would have that idea? all of your 3000 friends can now like, like, like!
HELP! anyone who know of any photo-editing/manipulation openings, please message me. i'd love to challenge myself with a third profession!
my ugly galpal's best feature... cuz her face is hurting. eww
just checked on news feed for 15 minutes on my tiny phone screen, then realized i was sitting right in front of my computer monitor.
another galpal has survived a car accident that took the life of her driver. now she's also saddened by the scar left on her face. psh, that little thing isn't gonna keep you from attracting guys, ugly! HWAITING!
HWAITING: (Urban Dictionary)
1. Fighting in Korean.
2. Usually used to support Asian celebrities / groups.
3. Also used to confuse non-Asians."
...
BAHAHAA is it working?!
to all you gym rats, there's a comfy bed for you at home; you don't have to sleep on that workout bench.
those who take themselves so seriously have others laughing behind their back.
BERNADETTE: i don't know Don? on facebook, but he's a beautiful person.
ANH: only on the inside... *sigh*
BERNADETTE: no, he's cute!
ANH: yeah... for a DOG!
ANH: difficult ones who cause me unnecessary drama, i lose.
BERNIE: what if they are beautiful people?
ANH: well, if they don't bend over, i'm not interested.
BERNIE: wait, don't you mean "bend over backwards"?
ANH: no.
Bernadette Low?rider, your name is too long! i'mma call you Maria Conchita Alonzo Saldivar... Dela Cruz for short.
131204
the colleagues who actually bothered to show up are the fun ones!
CHRISTINE: what?! you don't know where monterey park is? you never ventured up north?
ANH: no, i'm south korean.
ANH: wanna bite your face! yum
CHOEZOM: haa (sticks tongue out)
ANH: that tongue too!
CHOEZOM: let's keep my tongue out of it. BAHAHAA
ANH: sure, keep your tongue out of your mouth!
ANH: ugh, i don't do cognac, i do RUM!
CHRISTINE: what is that? isn't it Captain Morgan?
ANH: BACARDI 151.
DUONG: it's gasoline.
JOHN: if you like kangaroos, don't go to australia.
CHRISTINE: oh why? aren't they this small?
JOHN: nooo, they're giant bastard rodents!
131205
this happens way too often at INCHEONWON, i would slip my briskets back onto the grill to warm them up, but then they magically keep disappearing! what is WRONG with you people?!
ANH: double WOW like kitty's DDDs!
MIKE: YOWSERRR *nosebleed*
JEFF: anh keeps milking her. LOL pun intended!
UPS is like santa claus to me cuz i never keep track of when i'm receiving anything.
...
UPS man: LOL SUPPLIES!
JESS: i wanna know! what are you sending me? are you shipping yourself?!
ANH: haa i would not qualify for free-shipping.
ANH: viets get offended when mistaken for chinese; the chinese get offended when mistaken for viets.
CHANG: ASIANS are racists!
ANH: now, don't get me started with mexicans and puerto ricans.
filipino dood: LOL we'd do ANYBODY!
131206
i've come to the conclusion that i'm not picky... i'd drink ANY wine!
i noticed OLIVIA THIRLBY since she was 12... same with NATALIE PORTMAN. you guys are just slow to catch on.
the things i do for my galpals, i swear. no wonder my ex had nightmares about me hanging out with uglies.
i cannot watch PARK SHINHYE's kseries anymore cuz she keeps on taking those dumb high school scripts; all eyecandies, what frakkin' storyline? you've failed me for the last time, shinhye, but why sooo UGLY?!
131207
failed relationship? get over it, the grass is greener on the other side anyway!
i'mma attempt my galpal's technique of halting all comments to be alienated and forgotten. BAHAHAA
131208
the bitchy looking ones tend to be the nicest. you know who you are!
(on JEFF POH's wall)
i'm sorry, i check your wall more often than others cuz you're the most interesting man on facebook, KANDYMAN!
JESS: anh, you and jeff have so much energy!
ANH: haa it's the sugar high we get from KPOP!
my legendairy ex KITTY wanted everyone to know, she said hi ( . Y . )
...
i just hacked my own status.
...
my other ex said, "that was inappropriate."
i want Ky Le? back at INCHEONWON for an AYCE brisket rematch with SARVY Googooly?'s giant baby brother SALMAN. too much fun!
ANH: oh good, you're married now? how's your sex life?
FEM: we don't even sleep in the same bed.
hope all you peaches are having a swell weekend cuz mine is not too bad!
boobs, OVERRATED! you want to persuade me to keep you, try flashing a great pair of LEGGGS!
i find it difficult to stay patient when teaching anyone who's not tech-savvy; they're even lost with the most basic tasks. ugh
Jeff?: i'm taking KPOP-dealing to a whole. nother. LEVEL!
ANH: omo, kandyman, OTTOKE?!
131209
christmas shopping is for LOSERS!
"never kiss corporate ass"
...
Benkyo Tamaoki
...
i never did. have some self-respect and know your worth.
FEM: I eat everything, except snakes, rabbits, snouth, and eyeballs. i won't touch those. haa
ANH: or bull testicles... or would she?!
FEM: nooo, i won't, but i eat fish sperm... RAW!
ANH: BAHAHAA we have a swallower!
FEM: no, it's really good! it's YUMMY!
131210
some galpals don't know how ugly they are till i tell them.
i do love my colleagues... some i'd like to date. haa
i like tomboys, but they cannot cook! dammit. OTTOKE?!
131212
south korean web connection is 400x faster; why is everything so frakkin' slow here?!
131213
wait, santa claus is frakkin' WHITE?!
FACT: BALI is only 1 of 17,508 islands in Indonesia.
...
every indonesian gets their own island.
ooh, is it FRIDAY the 13th?! anyone suicidal, skydiving today would be IDEAL!
FEM: "HOT"?
ANH: DAEBAK!
FEM: ??
ANH: HOT means COOL. DAEBAK means AWESOME! and UGLY means HOT.
FEM: jebus, i need to catch up to your lingo.
NADA [wassup] and HYORIN [sistar], those dark skin uglies and their year-round tans... jizzed
131215
wait, so we're moving again? as long as it's not far from INCHEONWON!
just took the plunge and bought myself a SAMSUNG galaxy S3 cuz facebook keeps freezing this phone that i have! haa resource HOGGER!
...
my replacement mirrorless high-end camera will be a SAMSUNG as well... so will my next ugly, made in KOREA! BAHAHAA
"is that your SAMSUNG note 10.1?! does it make calls?"
...
yes, if SKYPING is considered calling. BAHAHAA
NEVER get too comfortable with whom you work for. unless you are truly indispensable with unique skills, you are only dollar signs to corporate asses.
131216
ANH: How do I keep attracting models? my colleague just asked me about my drawings, so i linked her to my portfolio; then she linked me to her lingerie photos!
JEFF: CHECKMATE!
MIKE: i FOLD! that's it, i'm moving back to CALI!
FEM: i have good peripheral vision, you cannot sneak up on me.
ANH: that's how preys are built for survival.
OMGWTFKBBQ this has been an unexpectedly frakkin' WANG DAEBAK MONDAY!
with uglies this daring, how am i supposed to settle for conservative ones?
131217
when i try to get away from cambos, they keep pulling me back! why must you be so HOT?!
...
damn you, SUNNY!
i did not know cambos could be built like that! jizzed.
remember, uglies, men with spectacles are harmless. teehee
131218
EX: just pick a place you like to eat at, and we'll go there.
...
is that a trick question? haa
i do not understand those possessive husbands.
why didn't i switch to SAMSUNG GALAXY sooner? this phone is frakkin' DAEBAK!
force-friending... try it, it might get you lucky!
why did jennifer lawrence cut her hair so short? i cannot pull on that.
...
Jeff Poh?: ROR JOYRIDE!
WHYAN: introduce me to your uglies!
ANH: two words, whyan... INCHEONWON!
that clown considered becoming a bartender, yet he won't drink. BAHAHAA whatta...?
WHYAN: ooh, how old is she?
ANH: never ask a girl her age. do i ever ask how old my minors are?
SUNNY looked frustrated from work and unapproachable... that was my green light. BAHAHAA
NINJA MODELS! they are out there, but you have to be FAST!
131219
JEON JIHYUN: he really doesn't know who i am?! he must be north korean... or an alien.
...
You Who Came from the Stars (scifi dramedy series)
SWYPING is such a joy! can't understand why half you people are still two-finger typing like you're still using those wonky analog BLACKBERRIES with that ridiculous clitoric scroll button!
fem colleague: oh, she just owes me a dollar.
ANH: here.
fem colleague: haa why are you giving ME a dollar?
ANH: cuz you're mexican.
131221
JEON JIHYUN is DIVINE!
...
definitely revisiting "my sassy girl" and "windstruck" for south korea's national treasure!
NEPHEW: look uncle! daddy got me iPAD AIR! best christmas EVER!
ANH: it'll be your worst christmas EVER if you drop it.
131201
don't care how long that thing's been in the fridge. i'm eating it!
131202
it amazes me how many girls would put up with guys who have been slacking off for years. especially those who's given up on finding work altogether. ugh
told mom her tom yum goong soupe reminded me of my ex. then i glanced over at a nearby catalog... BAHAHAA she's everywhere this season! AAARGH
131203
SPOCK: revenge is a LEE's coffee best served icy cold.
an ugly girl pairs up with a less-than-average guy? well, we all know he would most likely not cheat on her.
"je cherche l'ombre pour eteindre le feu, mon amour, qui devore mon ame, et brule dans mes veines..."
...
CELINE DION
131204
amazing how many peeps flake out at the very last minute even though we planned this a whole month ahead! nobody knows how to save money anymore? forget GPS, i need FPS... Flake Positioning System!
most peeps are just not dependable and just plain LAME!
i pretty much know who'd have my back in combat now. you peaches know who you are! xoxo
DON: i'm your driver, you better drink tonight!
...
so i drank, got plastered, and that mofo left me there to sleep it off. DD FAIL! fcuk that, KITTY is my DDD for tonight!
omo, i'm getting to know my colleagues' personalities so well, i'm even messaging them with dialogues from each other. haa
BRIAN: it might be wise to reschedule tonight's event since most cannot make it.
ANH: would you like to call and reschedule with each one of my korean gangster friends?
my colleague, BRIAN, just went to the doctor to have an extra stomach sewn in for tonight's INCHEONWON MEATING... that COW!
131205
AMAZON seller screwed up the order, so they offered to send the right item for free. 2 xbox games for the price of one! AMAZON ROCKS!
some peeps are such frauds celebrating their birthday every month.
131206
i dread inviting vegetarians to INCHEONWON. whatta...?
IT: here's your company address "graphicsdesigner@gmail.com"
ANH: oh, can you drop that extra S? it's not supposed to be spelled that way.
IT: DONE! "graphicsdeigner@gmail.com"
...
haa don't drink and work!
colleague: so anh, are you here temporarily or are you staying with us FOREVER?
...
Elton John: can you feel the love tonight?
...
haa so much commitment!
colleague: my gay friend worked at a real estate office and he was depressed.
ANH: shouldn't he be happy? he's gay.
131208
i cringe at the sight of all of these women shooting with economic entry-level DSLRs. they're TERRIBLE cameras!
131209
gotta keep saving; ain't gonna keep working for others. the world is mine.
131210
ANH: wait, i'll come to you once i get this box of LINDT chocolates opened.
fem colleague: are you going to devirginize that box?
...
haa sexual female co-workers!
131211
just mistaken another cambodian for a filipino. you asians all look alike!
131212
"not a day goes by that i don't think of you..."
...
LONESTAR
...
alright, i have to admit, i do listen to some country songs too!
whenever the world is falling down, even if there's no one else around, rise again. you just need plan B through Z.
aggressive people never see it coming pushing buttons of those who are passive-aggressive. we are ticking time bombs... kaBOOOOM! beware of the sleeping dragon.
131216
project manager: who proofread the design?
ANH: Dr Goldwyn did. not my fault, english is my 3rd language.
project manager: BAHAHAA
...
i'm not serious in the office either. haa
raping GIRLS' GENERATION "everyday love"... HAPPY MONDAY, peaches!
my colleague is an undercover model. she just shamelessly flashed me her lingerie photos. what is WRONG with her? LEGGGS!
i always talk to the seemingly anti-social unapproachable uglies at work. it pays off!
what she showed me was work inappropriate, but sonuvaBEEEEP she made my entire week!
drinking with one of my coolest exes. she's throwing up in the bush. ah... great night.
most of what she had went back out, and we fogged up my car.
...
EX: best night EVERRR!
soju bombs... unless you're asking for it, don't do it!
ANH: aren't you two married?
EX: only in paper. haa let's toast! FWB FOREVER!
ANH: GUNBAE!
...
haa she still enjoys my company. DAEBAK!
131217
once you initiate, it's a domino effect; gets easier and easier. haa LIKE
they say my life is like a sitcom. i do kinda see that now.
i wasn't bored with KITTY. haa she was actually HILARIOUS! i just can't stand princesses; they're useless.
indirectly find out if they have a significant other. even if they do, it doesn't matter! BAHAHAA
131221
GIRL: i like him cuz he's a vegetarian who likes meat.
...
BEL AMI (episode 9)
131223
eccentrics really don't bother me... lame people do.
half your friends are pretty LAME! hang out with mines.
131224
MELLY CHLISTMAS, PEACHES!
i've been womanless since wednesday... must. RESIST!
tired of cultural diversity here, just want south korean. haa
i'mma stop with beef intestines, too much collagen. eating korean uglies is less fattening. haa
i need more cardio if i wanna eat those intestines; masturbation is not enough. BAHAHAA
ANH: boxing is great cardio.
FEM: yeah, but you'll need a bag.
ANH: kitty's, she has two.
131226
newscaster ROJI
...
ugly south koreans shoot the best SELCAS!
oh, i'm sorry, did i get some of you guys in trouble with your insecure other? BAHAHAA don't care!
well, she WAS a keeper, but since she wanted to live in japan for a few years, i had to let her go... men need sex too! BAHAHAA
no, that fool can never date the smart ones cuz he can only sound smart to the dumb ones.
nonono, don't get me wrong, i like dumb girls too! mind AND body. well... mostly body.
i do admire my good friend for trying to keep his long distance relationship though. i no longer drive further than 30 min to see one. haa obsess globally, date locally!
chime wasn't that bright, but she more than made it up with her gentleness and ugliness.
"are you a family man...? good, let's keep it that way. i don't even believe in the devil. perhaps you should step back... sir."
...
too much?
131227
my phone is so fast, i may want another resource-hogging app other than facebook to keep active. no twitter please!
BERNADETTE: try instagram.
ANH: haa i cancelled that account already!
BERNADETTE: but it's owned by facebook!
ANH: DAMN YOU!
ANH: facebook owns instagram? so who owns YOU?!
BERNADETTE: my dad. haa
ANH: BAHAHAA he's gonna keep you a VIRGIN!
"they wanted me to become a priest, but i like girls too much."
...
JEFF: CHECKMATE!
ANH: that's it! I FOLD!
MIKE: why, ROJI...? WHYYY?!
JEFF: kandyman kommands kleavage!
ANH: omo, all three words have exactly 8 letters! and their acronym is frowned upon. haa
ANH: here, download ALL 43 of ROJI's news videos from this youtube playlist.
JEFF: one for each day of the month!
ANH: that's right! 43 days a month!
always better to have doubles than none... like TWINS! which is the ugly one?
we cannot clone ROJI, she has plastic parts, but we can build her!
KITTY, the human boxing bags!
ANH: my other alias is actually ANH SOLO.
JEFF: haa George Lucas spelled your name wong!
ANH: it's not WONG--
SALTAN: it's CHANG!
convenient, peeps are sick on holidays so they won't have to... GO TO SCHOOL?
TU: you're not cold?!
ANH: no, i have my windows open, and i'm topless. one of my exes loves to drive with her top down. you should try it.
ANH: i don't game much, busy with other things.
TU: Same here... Wish I could game more.
ANH: i co-op more with girlfriends.
TU: that's still gaming!
ANH: haa didn't mean it that way.
EX: 69... best co-op EVERRR
sleeping is for LOSE-- Zzzzzzzzzzz
131228
"Are people still concerned with copyrights? The fact is that anyone can, and will steal anything that you do. You just have to keep making more fun stuff. If you never post, you'll never be making what you love. Dont get obsessed with copyrights and protecting your ideas and never sharing. Ideas are a dime a dozen, and probably not that unique anyway, the execution is what matters."
...
TRENT KANIUGA
UNCLE: hmm, why isn't Google Translate translating?
ANH: perhaps ROJI's voice is copyrighted.
i recommend WALKING DEAD, and i'm curious about BREAKING BAD.
131229
i'mma figure out how to juggle these american AND korean series! AAARGH
"every child is an artist. the problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up."
...
PABLO PICASSO
131230
"I believe the world is 6000 years old."
...
Monumental Idiot
...
TARA: No, I think it could be almost that old. Maybe even a year or two older.
1TB of KPOP videos and other goodies GONE! just like that. make it a habit to backup your files, peaches! the worst things to lose are family photos and videos though.
...
also, my homemade porn with joy is most PRECIOUS! i have them backed up in 3 different drives. BAHAHAA
(tech-support conversation with KANDYMAN!)
...
ANH: yes, i hate that half of them don't wanna learn; too complicated for their little MAC brains.
JEFF: yup, some people... i like those who are willing to try things.
ANH: they can't even operate the TV remote to switch the source for cable!
JEFF: just google it.
ANH: "how do I google?"
JEFF: "put your question in google!"
ANH: "how do i press the keys on the keyboard?"
JEFF: "how do I use my voicemail?" that's not a PC! i don't do phone-support!
ANH: "why am i so dimwitted?", "what IS technology?!"
JEFF: BAHAHAA
ANH: "how do i blink?", "howdaheo is ROJI sooo HOT?!"
David?: How do you know ANH?
JEFF: it's a long story.
131231
SISTAR goodness!
...
soyu, hyorin, bora, dasom
...
i wanna see soyu and hyorin do each other with strap-ons.
...
HYORIN: i sleep in the NUDE! teehee
SoKos > KoreAms
...
RYAN: OPPS LOOL true story, bro!
...
unless you're Megan Lee or Tiffany. haa
i like girls that smell good, and Bernadette Low? STILL smells like flowers after INCHEONWON! whaaat? although scrumptious briskets do smell good though. YUM...
NEW YEAR's EVE! make sure you hit a random check point! good night, peaches! WOOHOO!
what is up with all these fireworks... i'm trying to SLEEP!
131218
absolutely not, i will not add the facebook widget on my phone.
131219
ANH: so when are you getting hitched?
FEM: since I'm paying for it, whenever I have the money.
ANH: just don't be engaged for 10 years. BAHAHAA
some uglies I prefer not to date cuz I don't wanna fcuk up our beautiful friendship.
can a phone be too smart? LIKE LIKE
CAUTION: turn your headlights on when it rains. it's not necessarily for you, but for others to see you. use some common sense, peaches!
EX: Hey...isnt David a pretty friendly guy... Easy to make friends with?
ANH: extremely, he has no social inhibition. he's your male counterpart.
EX: You got your hands full with the two of us... Haha
ANH: haa I felt the same way with kitty's DDDs.
131220
happy frakkin' sunny Friday to you peaches!
fem colleague: you're like the only one I could instantly trust cuz you're REAL, you know?
...
you betcha!
they agreed for me to bring alcohol to the office party. BAHAHAA they're asking for it!
there's no turning back, my colleagues were asking for alcohol! JINRO or CHAMISUL?
for those who've been introduced to raspberry wine soju, it is much better then plum wine. there is no substitute!
131223
some girls are cutthroats in the office, but they could be pretty cool off work.
are some smartphones better at conserving energy even when Wi-Fi and Bluetooth are always on? cuz those don't seem to be affecting my phone's battery consumption.
this list is out of control! such a chore trying to figure out who to invite. AAARGH!
colleague: it's 11:11am, make a wish!
ANH: I wish for half day... and health insurance!
"it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..." NO SNOW!
...
David Cook: BIG BEAR het xay lap xuong!
131226
I'mma kidnap my nephew. he doesn't need a mom.
I've really only said one line every time that pesty neighbor bothered me about speeding. I'mma just say YES next time. BAHAHAA
ANH: Jess has the Samsung note 3. HUGE!
ANH: Kitty has the D 3. HUGE!
need to force my nephew to watch TOY STORY 1 and 2!
peeps who never posted much of anything are posting all over. whaaat?
131227
told her to keep her vibrating phone in her panties, and that I'll call her often.
half the staff is GONE! nobody works on Fridays anymore?
(shirt with Nintendo cartridge graphic on it captioned "blow me")
...
BAHAHAA Mike received this misplaced order! I wanna wear that for LIME and ROJI.
just started a group text I cannot leave. NOOO!
131228
did you say seconds?! haa I really only need PHO at home, and INCHEONWON when I go out!
131229
"giant fake boobs are like bags of low self esteem with like a hub cap and a door knob... and they don't move!"
...
ERIN FOLEY
WAVEYA T-ARA "do you know me" dance cover. sonuvaBEEEEP! too SHEKSHI!
you guys can keep adding me on Google+, but do you really think I'll be moving?
131230
"I believe the world is 6000 years old."
...
Monumental Idiot
131231
HAPPY FESTIVUS, PEACHES!
"the easiest way to teach your child about money is not to have any."
...
Katherine Whitehorn
pesty neighbor: you know it's only 5 mph here, you were going at least 10. you have to be more humble.
ANH: oh, so you're the hall monitor? you're gonna watch how fast I walk in my house too? how about nagging to the UPS driver?
...
seriously, that moron has nothing better to do.
my IT colleague just gave me genuine official SPLINTER CELL Blacklist and Assassin's Creed 4 for $30. haa MELLY CHRISTMAS!
drinking red wine while eating grapes. is it redundant?
green tea ice-cream, avocado, and wasabi are too similar! and one is dangerous in quantity. which one is it?! I cannot tell! AAARGH
