SKITS OCTOBER

131001
little do people know, i'm a workaholic; i just make it look easy. getting things done, peaches!

sorry, i don't read books; extremely short attention span. the only things i care to read are mangas and subtitles.

jebus, home from my long 6-min drive from work! now, to continue my OTHER work... BAHAHAA

mind over matter, you're only tired if you allow yourself to be. snap out of it, sleeping is for LOSERS!

colleague: isn't yours a racing car?
ANH: yes, but i use it to pick up my ugly little nephew! yayYEAH!

is it that difficult to find a roommate to rent with... when black?

GALPAL: my friend is with Iglesia di Cristo. if she wasn't that churchie, i would've brought her to you. LOL
ANH: haa stay away from those brainwashers! i'm already with Iglesias di Enrique.

GALPAL: i don't have a dentist since i quit work; i have to resort to brushing regularly now -_-
Nanashi Sama?: oh noooes! i'm japanese, my teeth are hopeless.
...
JAPS... ASIA'S BRITISH!

the most uninteresting people are the ones still reposting the same lame profile pics from BEFORE they invented cameras!

"those who think they know everything learn... nothing."
...
Anhjun Lozfen 3:33

i don't pick my friends in terms of how much money they have (fcuk that superficial sh*t); you can be a hopeless hobo like Don Vu?, and i'd still treat you like a human being... if you deserve it.

131002
ANH: most of these facebook people aren't real.
DON: for REALZ, yo!

JON "cornellius" Bert Dela Cruz?... the one selfless cambodian you can truly depend on... 99% of the time.

i enjoy making corrections that are worse than the typo.

JEFF: CCM company has GREAT composers for 5DOLLS, DAVICHI, T-ARA... never a dud like the others.
ANH: you mean like those american bands?
JEFF: Bruno Mars is the only talented one.
ANH: that's a good band.

ANH: go home, brian!
BRIAN: i am :)
ANH: don't text and drive
BRIAN: LOL
ANH: don't laugh and drive
BRIAN: i'm home! wassup?
ANH: eating, can't talk.

ANH: so you will show up to INCHEONWON? you must crave it.
KELLEY: i do, i talk about korean BBQ at work all the time!
ANH: kelley nagano, you ARE korean!

GALPAL: i was asked, "what are you doing this friday evening?" haa i got excited thinking they wanted to hang out with me. then they asked, "why don't you come to bible study with us?"
ANH: jebus, tell them you live in the gym. haa i'm sure you would fist fight over pulling hair.
GALPAL: haa boxing is just cardio!
ANH: HARDCORE ^

"i'm always on the go. i ain't got no time for no relationsh*t."
...
EMINEM

i keep telling myself to derezz about half of the peeps on my list, but i never do; i sometimes get to know the "lame" ones and find out how much cooler they really are! haa some peaches just ROCK!

ANH: no pressure if you're DIETING! "just a salad." haa
GALPAL: nooo, i'm never on a diet; i love meat.
...
BAHAHAA too easy!

ANH: a regular bottle of soju is $2-3 at H-MART.
JEFF: what?! a bottle of soju is $10 at the market here in CANADA! food, gas, electronics, cars, housing, women... pretty much everything cost more compared to the states!
ANH: jebus, MOVE! we have cheaper women here.

131004
SAMANTHA: are you gonna marry amanda when you get older?
NEPHEW: no, why?
SAMANTHA: so why are you playing with her so much?
NEPHEW: cuz she's fun.
...
8-year olds conversing... haa no really, guys can have galpals too!

"i cannot see your photo, it's too big. can you send me a smaller one?"
...
how about "fit to page" or "zoom out"?
haa computer illiteracy is HILARIOUS!

NAEUN should seriously transition to acting. her ugliness would easily crank up viewership for any kseries!

(FRIDAY)
Brittany?: when is INCHEONWON tonight?
ANH: oh, it's not tonight, it's tomorrow!
Brittany: goddammit!
...
BAHAHAA someone craves it badly! one sincere reaction.

BERNADETTE: okay, i need a DD cuz i wanna have fun, eat, and DRINK!
ANH: yes, bring a driver! you can have them wait in the car.

BERNADETTE: i'm not interested, he's like a brother to me. BAHAHAA
...
brother zone < friend zone

BERNADETTE: most of my best friends are male. i love boys... simple, non-dramatic.
ANH: i love girls... complex, overly-dramatic.

COMPUTER ILLITERACY: a user's ability to become unable to read, write, think, and otherwise perform rational action once they have touched a computer.
...
in this day and age, there is no excuses! you HAVE to know at least as much as a 5-year old! BAHAHAA

131005
i invited stephen; he clicked MAYBE; i blocked; so i basically made the decision for him. BAHAHAA

there is no event uneventful with LEGENDARY David Cook? and/or Don Vu?.

neighbor: how are you doing tonight, sir?
ANH: oh, you don't have to call me SIR, it's so impersonal. call me Mr. SIR.

TERRENCE: how often do you go to INCHEONWON?
ANH: every other day? haa kidding, it only seems that often on facebook; it's like my having a girlfriend every other month.

ANH: yes, my ex has DDDs.
KY: wait, is KITTY her real name? is she real?!
JON: yes, she is! i've met them!
BARNEY: she is legen--wait for it... DAIRY!
...
BERNADETTE: BAHAHAA Too funny! You must love em dairy!
ANH: everyone knows i'm a LEGSMAN! that's why i couldn't hold on to them--her.

pretentious alpha males racing, revving their engines can be heard from miles away! kids and juvenile grown-ups are hilarious.

131006
last night was UBER eventful! thanks a million for David Cook?, Meeksy Meeks?, and Jonas Guarin for showing up! DAEBAK!

i forget that the ones who never reply to my invites may just fear new faces. in that case... ADIOS, MUTHAFCUKAS!

if Jeff Poh? was residing in the OC, he'd be promoting legendary INCHEONWON KBBQ too!

KY: how did you meet Jeff Poh??! he knows all the good food places!
ANH: by tagging my russian brother, Ryan Grotsky?, on a KPOP ugly.
...
haa yes, tagging is extremely beneficial!

ANH: if David Cook? is the quality david, what does that make David AweSom??
ANH: the OTHER AWESOME david! DAEBAK!

MEATING: noun. the act of coming together for a meat-eating meeting at... INCHEONWON!

usually after 2 invites with no replies, they get blacklisted. Ky Le? would reply BEFORE i even create the event! haa pumpkin juice FTW, peaches!

i eat vegans wrapped in vegetarians for breakfast.

ANH: looks like Jonas has enjoyed the infamous raspberry wine/soju at INCHEONWON! DAEBAK, KY!
KY: Thanks for inviting us! You were so much fun! Jonas Guarin is now a pumpkin juice as well. Hehe

"don't you ever get sad?"
...
being sad is for LOSERS!

peeps who hate facebook are just private and/or overwhelmed by the amount of information their little minds cannot process.

AT&T U-verse does not carry MNet America?! DEAL BREAKER!

BERNADETTE: you have so much energy!
ANH: i'm like KPOP; sensory overload.

131007
ANH: omo omo, Ky?! it's sooo nice to have you here! (bear hugs, turns to boyfriend) hey, and you must be JONAS! hi, i'm--
JONAS: oh, i know who you are, i've seen you on facebook.

one truck i don't mind driving behind from is UPS. those guys are BLAZIN' FAST!

Anhjun Lozfen added new photos to the album INCHEONWON BLACKLIST.

SUZY [MISS A] bonafide goddess!
...
uglies like her make me smile whenever i see them; joyful demeanor.

SUZY at the airport 130913 (video)
...
lucky sons of peaches... i would be screaming like a pre-pubic schoolgirl!

if you only know GANGNAM STYLE, you need to turn the other way; i don't want anything to do with you. BAHAHAA

JEFF: i'm the candyman!
ANH: i'm the brisketman!
KITTY: i'm legenDAIRY!
Don?: i'm mexican.

to the host of DINERS, DRIVE-INS, and DIVES... how about some REAL food?
...
BRITTANY: haa white people food!

all other asian countries are trying to attain SOUTH KOREA's level of excellence.

i avoid american music award shows like the PLAGUE!

ANH: hey, she enjoys S&M.
DON: and I enjoy M&M.
ANH: haa frakkin' G-rated white american.
DON: and we enjoy Creme Brulee.
ANH: your italian is off.
DON: i am a REAL american.
ANH: from mexico.

ANH: haa fcuk that! i'mma hang at don's crib!
Don?: my bachelor pad, peaches!
Don's wifey: *ahem*

RICH: i'm happy, but i always look sad.
LANG: *yawn*
ANH: i'm like KPOP; sensory OVERLOAD!
JOY: LEGGGS!
DON: i'm still texting from a phone booth.
Fujie Miyatsuka: haa JAP FAIL!
RICH: bluetooth receiver FAIL... into my mouth.
JON: DEEPTHROAT!

DON: she voted for my daughter more times than you! oh yeah!
ANH: haa i don't even vote for my own country!

ANH: me getting sick of briskets? it's like saying you're sick of sushi.
DON: wish I could eat sushi as much as you eat INCHEONWON.
ANH: hey, i don't eat the restaurant itself, geek.
DON: haa you might as well!
*News Report: Half of INCHEONWON is now gone. ANH was last seen... hungry. BAHAHAA

NOTE: if all of my posts are too overwhelming for some, you can avoid them by blocking me!

Kelley?: i am a woman, don -_-
DON: with a baby face! she belongs with the PEANUTS gang.
ANH: dunno what you're talking about. i wasn't raised here; everything is better in FRANCE... even the PEANUTS gang!
DON: in french, they say "PENWAH".
ANH: BAHAHAA screw you sideways, whoresaint!

131008
jebus, another 4 tables booked tonight! satisfying brisket lovers 100 peeps at a time!
...
Ky Le?: that means more pumpkin JUICE! ROR

i should always make sure to mention "invited +1 ONLY" for INCHEONWON.
like don's wallet, seating is TIGHT!

DANIEL MOON: Anhjun Lozfen... best promoter EVERRR! ^^

GALPAL: how are cambodians like? i never met one.
ANH: meh, the girls are like filipinas... just more fake.
DON: my breasts are REAL!

ANH: FCUK DA PO-- i meant, "fcuk don politely."
DON: haa you're anything, BUT polite!
ANH: gomenasai desuka...
DON: "am i sorry?"?

hope there's parking. thank jebus it's TUESDAY!

Crystal?: i was gonna make chocolate chip cookies for Don?.
ANH: i think that's the only reason he's still your friend.

PHILIP: so what do you do for fun, anh?
ANH: well... incheonwon, kpop, video games, drawing, and photographing my galpals nude.

Tara?: it really doesn't feel like tuesday here at INCHEONWON.
ANH: no, it's FRIDAY before HUMPDAY!

waitress: when i worked at CHAMSUTGOL and it closed at 10pm, we would come to INCHEONWON to eat.
...
haa one strong testimony! give in to the dark side.

BERNADETTE: my friend thinks i sleep around with guys! wassup with that?!
ANH: haa psh, she thinks you got game. need a place to crash tonight?

GALPAL: i cannot believe how much energy you have with so little sleep!
ANH: i feed off people's company; natural high.

131009
Philip Yim is now my brisket buddy; this chap can eat a cow... like a COW!

i have to figure out how to stop saying "boob" cuz that won't sit well if it slips at work with them uglies!

waiters happy to serve you, non-existent at $10 KBBQs. BAHAHAA
...
Bernadette?: I used to go to one pretty often. It's $8.99 per person if it's just the two of you. LOL the meat is okay, but its really smokey and dirty in there.
ANH: and you only get your grill changed once for free IF you can catch the waiter! haa

BERNADETTE: I just spoke to Philip? on the phone. he wants to go back next week. omigod, what a fatty.
ANH: eh, don't feel pressured to keep up with us; you can just have the vegetable sides. BAHAHAA

BERNADETTE: i have guy friends who are still virgins and don't masturbate. how innocent.
ANH: wow, that's sad and pathetic. i wanna get my friend laid, but he's not a real man; too eccentric.
BERNADETTE: aww, there are weird girls too!
ANH: not even weird girls want him.

to those you cannot get outta the house, stop trying; if they wanna "live" in solitary confinement, so be it.

ANH: i would hang out with him sometimes, but it's a hassle picking him up. he would take you out... by bus.
BERNADETTE: nooo, i hate buses!
ANH: yes, they smell like Don?'s natural cologne "Eau de Musk".

those who take themselves so seriously need to get slapped in the face... with a BIG FISH!

131010
GALPAL: i want your KPOP girls, yet i am STRAIGHT!

ANH: hey, we could try GEN KBBQ when Philip? is ready!
GALPAL: LOL just let me know like a week ahead of time.
ANH: if you miss it, i'll invite you to... INCHEONWON!

ANH: SHINHYE should PARK herself in my pants!
GALPAL: LOL she'd have to marry you first.
ANH: damn dem kristians!

131011
David Cook?: Anhjun, you have more talent in the finger hangnail that you clip off then most people have in their entire existence.
...
wow, words of praise coming from a high quality human being who more than earned his title of "david-of-all-trades"! LIKE LIKE

one thing is certain about me, i'm not an employee to put up a front; you'd know quite clearly if i like you or not. NEVER kiss corporate ass, peaches!

i'm popping vitamins with white wine, is that alright?

TWO WEEKS (crime thriller) kseries
...
an absolutely great take on THE FUGITIVE! the lead character has a short time to make his way back for his long lost daughter's surgery. this story has a way to pull on your heartstrings. promises cannot be broken. LEE JOONKI has built himself into an undoubtedly serious actor.

korean english subs > chinese broken english subs

ANH: you really should chat with him, he's easily likeable.
BERNADETTE: LOL i'm really shy, i believe in timing.
ANH: i believe in forceful friending. BAHAHAA

ANH: i know a viet douche who kept bragging that he was born here, but he still was mistaken for a fob.
BERNADETTE: BAHAHAA life FAIL! i actually have friends who went to high school here and still speak fobbish english and dress fobbish. it's the friends they hang out with.
ANH: yes, their own kind... more FOBS! BAHAHAA

ANH: i had to block this chinese "friend" after he tried to get me into a pyramid scam.
GALPAL: you could've just told him you're not interested.
ANH: well, i did not want him to add my friends. i have dumb friends too, you know?
GALPAL: BAHAHAA
GALPAL: i don't expect everyone to be as smart as David Cook; i don't discriminate. haa

ANH: DON gets lost with tech, he doesn't even use ATMs. JAP FAIL!
GALPAL: seriously T.T
ANH: yup, don't get him confused with a GPS either!
GALPAL: he is a caveman.
ANH: looks like one too. haa if i married him, he'd be my useless wife.

ANH: bad english is my pet peeve.
GAL: my english is one of the worst in school. I get Cs and Ds.
ANH: i get Cs and Ds in cup sizes.

131012
GAL: i'm a boob girl. i prefer boobies, man chests. haa
ANH: Don? has Nat-Geo boobs. sorry, I was eating a croissant.
GAL: Have u been to Seaside Bakery? They have crazy croissants!
ANH: ooh, you should let them know. both foodies!
GAL: which one?
ANH: both of don's boobs.

beware of the mofos you meet at drinking parties cuz most of them are awfully boring once the alcohol wears off.

grown-ass juveniles drifting again... performance tires are expensive, morons!

GAL: i take my guyfriend to the more expensive, private strip clubs!
ANH: hook him up with a REAL girl! that's even more private... and expensive.

korean date: my car can smoke your car.
ANH: i'm not an asian woman. wanna try again?

131013
it's all too true that events are only as good as the entire company you're with.

GAL: i've been clubbing with USC chinese. Ferraris, BMWs, Benz... all the girls are boring. you see the wannabe kids dancing and the too-expensive-to-dance girls, all standing. haa
ANH: it's all about image, those types are borefests! haa all those dudes afraid to dance, just gawking at girls; meat market.

GAL: how old is your friend's daughter?
ANH: slightly older than you.

some peeps are just not tech-savvy whatsoever. they even manage to fcuk up a MAC; no brand is safe with them! try owning any car without ever maintaining it, and see what happens. JEBUS!

COUSIN: your car is a TOYOTA hybrid, right?
ANH: sure, one with paddle shifters, sport suspensions, and 18" wheels!
...
i bet he'd also have trouble differentiating a SAMSUNG note from an iPAD... or a filipino from a cambo. BAHAHAA

Bernadette? is extremely good at replying ASAP; truly reliable.
Kelley? replies once a month... or when she smells BRISKETS!

ANH: other than messages, Don? fails at replying to texts as well.
GAL: haa is he still using the same phone?
ANH: yes, whichever payphone he can find; they're scarce.

Fannie? is online again? eww...

ANH: i do like those red UK phone booths. i want one in my room.
GAL: haa how would you fit the booth in your room?
ANH: i will sleep standing up.

FRIEND: i don't care for breasts bigger than B-cups.
...
unfortunately, he's dating a girl with D's.
be careful what you don't wish for!
...
ANH: i don't want anyone like SUZY.

you choose to follow those who interest you; facebook is quite effective in building stronger bonds.

i'm not quite a foodie since i don't hunt much, but i do appreciate great food!

Jess is a hermit who loves PEOPLE!
ANH is a vegetarian who loves BRISKETS!
...
contradictions

the more popular chinese/viet restaurants are, the less sanitary. it's like they stopped caring about their patrons. had food poisoning at least 4 times, so please refrain from inviting me to most of them.

131014
i know some fobs too, but not much in common. haa
in between is where it's comfortable; not too white, not too asian.

when they're using the same rag to clean the floor for your table, you know you should reconsider ordering from the menu.

HEIRS (dramedy) kseries
...
starring legendary actors, LEE MINHO & PARK SHINHYE
...
this must be the most DAEBAK lead role pairing EVERRR!

ANH: gawking at those bodacious blondes at huntington beach in episode one, yet all i wanted was SHINHYE!
FEM: haa that's cuz you're drawn to asian girls!
ANH: hey, that's not true. i'm attracted to brunettes too... who look asian-ish... like KATY PERRY!

SHINHYE: how are these american girls so well developed? is it their diet?
...
their dietitian is Dr BEVERLY HILLS!

my closest friends are ACES. i don't kick it with wannabes, jackasses, and the likes. they are selfless thoughtful model human beings.
KUDOS, David Cook?, Don Vu?, Jess Nguyen?, and candyman Jeff Poh?!
(just to name a few)

i keep changing my name to hide from-- haa no, i don't care who checks up on me! unless they're colleagues, that's a nono.

in my dialogues, i'm rewording to FEM cuz GALPAL is too long!
perhaps, just F'.

BOARDWALK EMPIRE
...
one of the few good american series that keep me interested.
the assassination/murder sequences are brutal.

i always immediately fall asleep trying to watch anything in bed!
and peeps think i'm insomniac. haa

Nikki Wang Daebak? is a selfless thoughtful model human being AND a MODEL! whaaat?

ANH: a galpal is wondering why i haven't been sending her invites.
FEM: haa she misses you!
ANH: psh, she wants to hook up with you.
FEM: oh LAWWWD!

FEM: you would hate singapore; it's hot and humid. i would daydream, "would it ever snow here?"
ANH: no, the closest thing to snow in your country is in your FRIDGE!

my friends just said i'm a great event planner. wow, i honestly never thought of myself as one. thanks a million, peaches!
...
KY: and PROMOTER!

KY: BAHAHAA Jonas said he wasn't into korean girls until he added you on FB. He likes All your kpop girls pictures and now he likes korean girls!
...
succomb to the dark side, peaches!

"The only thing with 4 legs Koreans do not eat, is the table."

ANH: Bernadette?, you can teach him a few dishes in the kitchen and turn him into DAVID COOKS.
David Cook?: you mean, i could eat my own dishes?!

DAVID: a trick is to put a nice smelling bar of soap in your underwear drawer. It makes all your underwear smell clean.

DAVID: the only thing is... Don? doesn't do karaoke.
ANH: ugh, he doesn't dance either. very white... for a black guy.

FEM: have you had UMESHU or YUZU wine?
ANH: damn you! more goodies?!
FEM: it's... orgazm in a bottle. oh, sorry, plural--
ANH: ORGIES in a bottle!

ANH: dunno if i'm still allergic to calamari or octopus.
DAVID: anh, allergies are serious. so only eat until before you die... then, STOP!

131015
"why is she so dark?"
"she dresses like that, she must sleep around"
"why can't you date your own kind?"
...
you mean, HUMAN? haa whatta... asian parents!

they're frakkin' adding girls from my list whom they've never met in person. i mean, seriously? sooo desperate! this is another reason i don't date men.

131016
Don? is still figuring out how to answer comments... from a PUBLIC PHONE!

ANH: you and your charming wide smile with all of your 42 teeth, ugly!
Fannie?: haa i got all of my wisdom teeth pulled out!
ANH: all 8 of 'em.

GONG SEOYOUNG... the epitome of tall statuesque korean models!
...
thanks a million, candyman Jeff Poh?!

why are all the good looking ones such klutz, and all the smart ones such... gay?
...
lesbionic ex: heyyy!

colleague: you HAVE to dress up for halloween!
ANH: psh, i dress up everyday.

jebus, all of these galpals always sooo lonely and frakkin' sad! snap ouf of it, peaches! look at me, "i don't need a man!"

FEM: I'm so pooped out. Plus my stupid tire today.
ANH: another nail? construction workers secretly work for tire companies!

mexican gardeners with their noisy blowers blowing... nothing.
perhaps just more dirt over... to your CAR!

BERNADETTE: i'm really shy, and i cannot cook to save my life. teehee

don't ever provoke foodies to food-fight; we rather not waste any food.

YVONNE: I am a weird person I always do something very weirded. Lol!!!!!
ANH: i prefer weird peeps anyway; normal peeps are too predictable.

FEM: my former roommate, pot everyday, she's an artist.
ANH: hmm, smoking that, i see...

there's always information and ideas racing through my mind, and i have to write or draw it all down; probably why there's a constant news feed from Anhjun Lozfen!

DISCLAIMER:
all characters appearing in Anhjun Lozfen's dialogues are REAL.
any resemblance to real persons, friended or blocked, is purely intentional.

sure you wanna add me? you'll be trespassing into my mind! even my family members regret it.

BERNADETTE: as long as I don't drive people who smell bad or have bad hygiene, I'm cool!
ANH: oh, in that case, Don might not make it.
BERNADETTE: why doesn't he shower?!
ANH: BAHAHAA you sound so honestly concerned and convinced that he doesn't!
David Cook?: i have never smelled deodorant on don.

BERNADETTE: okay, cool. my car is FULL! SAUSAGE FEST!
DAVID: sausage fest? what is that? is that your restaurant recommendation?

David Cook?: ok, the strategy is, we sing until we can't speak anymore, then we eat beef noodle soup and pancakes and that house chicken stuff at Earthen and then we walk it off a little, then we go drink some boba.
...
THIS is how them koreans kick it!

FEM: I have amazing Ferrari Rocker gelato.
ANH: FERRERO ROCHER! don't you know your spanish?
FEM: omo, kill auto-correct, please!

i like fobs too, i guess... just the ones who are americanized.

Bernadette?: my mom is malaysian, but she's singaporean.
DAVID: You are half Teochew and Half Singaporean. I'm half not Teochew and half not Singaporean. We're like almost family.
So cool...
...
BAHAHAA whattafcuk? i'm sooo confused!

David Cook?: sorry. English is ok too. But I get all excited talking to you guys. Between the 2 of you, I can be exposed to 8 or 9 languages. I'm in love.
...
hardcore linguist right there!

i think i just posted at least a year's worth of status updates... in one night.
your turn...

DAVID: so asian, always fighting over who gets the check.
ANH: i usually pay for my own share... or less.

someone needs to get with this talented selfless thoughtful girl soon cuz gems like bernadette don't stay single for long.

131017
forgive me for bringing 20+ peeps to someone else's party. it will happen again.

just deleted Don? from my tags so i could fit someone else who actually knows how to use facebook.
...
GALPAL: dat... ODOR!

friends' links via facebook expose me to so many good stuff i wouldn't have known otherwise! you know who you are, peaches! LIKE

131018
i never ask my friends what they're doing or how much they're making. i couldn't care any less about that sh*t. what matters is how nice and likeable you are; if you're douchey/bitchy by nature, nothing's gonna change you... please, walk off a cliff.

queen POONEH, dare i say, Alfonso Vergara? is one lucky sonuvaBEEEEP!

so i get this message: "Sorry, this page isn't available."
and it's my own page! haa whaaat?

singer/model KYUNGRI [9MUSES] has legs going up her NECK!
KPOP is candyland, indeed!

hey, don't worry about what others think about you, only ANH's opinion really matters.

do you ever regret commenting on a friend's post cuz some of their friends' replies sound so frakkin' dumb? not even funny, just vulgarly dumb.
why are peeps friends with meatheads?

my ex got her dad's LEGGGS and her mother's mental illness.

ANH: some mexican lady kept talking to Don Vu? in spanish while he was in line. most likely due to his unkempt mexican woman appearance with nat-geo boobs.
FEM: oh man... so graphic.
ANH: NAT-GEOgraphic!

this one guy i know does not sing nor does he dance; that means he very much sucks in bed. he probably just lays there and takes it... while crying.

i seldom do this, but when i sever ties with someone, they no longer get to see everyone else cuz i know EVERYBODY!

JESSICA LE: u awesome just the way u r.. stay that way forever

MOM: people who make friends online are rejects nobody wants.
ANH: wait, what does that make me?

my friend lost his ability to smile after he got married.
the only love he gets is... love-handles.
...
DAVID: haa oh nooo, you dee-int! i know who this is!

131019
FRANK: i'd eat anything with four legs!
GALPAL: nooo, i'll try dog meat, but not rabbits... they're our pets!

if you seriously think your time is more valuable than anyone else's, it's not. you're a fcukin' jackass... punctuality is a sign of respect.

if i am late, it's never more than 15 min, yet peeps STILL get bent out of shape. don't worry, you'll get your BRISKETS, peaches!

ELEAH's mom: BAHAHAA you and don have such good chemistry and are so funny together! you should have your own talk show! you HAVE to watch FAMILY GUY!

"i'm sorry we have to leave. there's another party we have to go to."
...
whattafcuk?! if my friends ever said that to me, they'd immediately be BLACKLISTED!

131020
Don?: i'm your designated driver. you better DRINK tonight!
...
next thing i knew, i woke up in vegas with a tiger in the bathroom.
what happened last night?!

random aunt: and what exactly do you do?
ANH: if i told you, i'd have to kill DON.

NEWBIE: what's the occasion for incheonwon?
ANH: seriously? it's INCHEONWON!
NEWBIE: oh, so am i supposed to wrap the meat with the rice sheet?
ANH: haa fcuk the wrapping! stuff your face with briskets, THEN the rice!

131022
Nuengthida Sophon (Noona) [HELLO STRANGER] is even more endearing than Baifern pimchanok. NO CONTEST!

i believe in timing when it comes to the news feed;
there is no way one can keep up with every friend's status updates!

131023
ANH: i'm boobing kitty.
BERNADETTE: What does boobing someone mean?
ANH: squeeze her ginormous boobs together and let loose!
BERNADETTE: LOL What crazy vocabulary you have!
ANH: BAHAHAA pretty much straight forward... and back. repeat. jizzed

HELLO STRANGER (romantic comedy)
...
during their holiday trip to SOUTH KOREA to visit famous kseries shooting locations, an unlikely thai couple find each other.
Chantavit Dhanasevi plays a culturally-clueless, nevertheless fun guy and Nuengthida Sophon is such a JOY to watch!

David Cook?: now, for the love of chocolate chip cookies, can someone tell me who JON is?!
...
ANH: Bert Cruz, please clarify ^

i have "friends" i would RED FLAG for my friends, but if they don't ask me before friending, it's their problem. BAHAHAA i'm sooo soweee!

if you cannot tell me directly, laugh twice for YES, once for NO, and thrice minus once for MAYBE. don't make it complicated.

Pimchanok "Baifern" Lerwisetpibol (a crazy little thing called love)
...
ANH: how can anyone have such a drastic transformation in one film?!
JEFF: mind... BLOWN!
...
haa it pays off to be nice to uglies!

Pimchanok "Baifern" Lerwisetpibol
(a crazy little thing called love)
...
them ugly thai celebs and their never-ending names!

CHAMSUTGOL is a SHAM!
their "free" ice-cream gimmick is included in the check! BAHAHAA

131024
anyone attending, don't forget to BYOB (Bring Your Own Boob)!

no more sad clowns for me! i'mma stick with happy clowns!

GALPAL: your friends are awesome!
...
what does that make me? thanks a million!

it's official, David Cook? will now be known as DAVID ROCKS!

peeps only see what i choose for them to see.
...
Don?: INCHEONWON! jizzed.
Fannie?: BRISKETS! yesss, best cuts of meat EVERRR!
ALFONSO "jimmy fallon" VERGARA: haa that place is BOMB!

VOTE: DON VU, representative for anti-gluttony-free.

like your woman, i'll try your restaurant once, but i'll always return to mine.
...
COMMITMENT

DON: haa seriously? you won't mind me inviting your ex?
ANH: i wanna see if she'd have the guts to show up. i'll make sure she sits at your table so you pay for her.

it's more efficient to abbreviate everyone's name down to just 3 letters.
let's start with DON.

i'll abbreviate Nanashi Sama?'s name down to JAP.

ANH: PINOY, PINAY? clarify, please.
Eddy?: for the love of briskets, i'm not PINOY!
Rosa?: LIIIIES!

131025
i need to grab myself a whole bag of coke!

facebook: so-and-so's birthday is today.
ANH: and...?

unless they're for someone i care about, i really don't do birthdays. meh!

this little white girl was all over my nephew. well played little glass-hopper!

i prefer native asians over american asians; but when it comes to viets, i like them americanized. haa i cannot stand my own people!

Kim Dajeong's husband gave her a GALAXY Note 10.1. to concentrate on her artwork. the perfect gift, indeed!

"it is not a disgrace not to reach the stars, but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for."
...
Benjamin Elijah Mays, Morehouse College President

MIKE: Even the Asians over here have issues; They've spent too much time with Texans.
ANH: haa they think they're white.
MIKE: Impossible... They're like raw Texas fobs, worse than regular fobs.

just bought mom something she will find great use for, just because she certainly more than deserves it.

131026
Naomi?, i don't like this gloomy weather. make it RAIN!
...
NAOMI: haa i like this weather!
ANH: yes, for those contemplating suicide.

i refuse to follow any sport with no female eye-candy.

131027
(called for reservations)
WAITER: oh, you're the one with the camera, right?
ANH: yeah! and you're the one i took shots with!

my 90* turns tend to freak backseat drivers out.

131028
i. need. to. subcribe. to. MAXIM. KOREA!

131030
i'm forcing mom to learn how to swype... cuz typing SUCKS!

131031
ANH and Don? faked an accent at a video store once, and the employee asked in amazement, "oh, are you guys from AUSTRALIA?!"
haa HILARIOUS! dumb americans.

ANH: Don? is my hobo fobo mofo dobo (dog boy).
FEM: haa scooby DOO!
ANH: BAHAHAA yes!
DON: it's scooby DON!
DON's dad: that's my BOY! my talentless BOY!
DON's ex: more like scooby DOODOO!
...
why must exes always hate?

131002
if you can't find me at INCHEONWON, I'm on Facebook.

131004
I still feed my enemies when they starve. go figure.

I should make it clearer that my INCHEONWON events are not kids-friendly. haa drink up, peaches!

131005
ANH: do you guys sell car parts, here?
salesman: go ask for John. he's a skinny tall short guy.

woman: ooh, where did you get that? (coffee) LEE's has really good sandwiches!
ANH: uh... no. only their coffee is good.
...
white people don't know any better.

131006
so what did worrying about the government shutdown do for you? this is why I completely stopped following the news years ago; all it does is spread paranoia.

131007
fem colleague: what are you by the way? I cannot pinpoint it, but looks g--it's good.
...
haa nice save!

131009
CRYSTAL: okay I'm watching Kseries HEIRS and they're portraying Americans to be disgusting dogs with no manners, or just surfer party people! -_- Seriously going to be too much stereotyping.
ANH: Bernadette is American, but she's been koreanized; so she's only half dumb.

131011
TAMMY: we talk often about how much we like having you here. you make our lives much easier . It's a treat having you."
...
encouraging words from upper level

"listen, your last girlfriend was in 7th grade, and you only had her for 3 hours."
...
500 Days of Summer

"nice to meet you! my name is autumn."
...
500 Days of Summer
...
truly lives up to the hype. really great film!

131015
HADDAWAY - what is love
...
headbanging to this at work. haa I need to CLUB!

131017
"you are a beautiful mystery, every note carved into musical history... this is true, everything that you are, the wild earth, a child's birth, sun, moon, and the stars."
...
EPIK HIGH - map the soul

131021
BATMAN: get rid of that stupid S on your chest!
SUPERMAN: it's my people's symbol for HOPE.
BATMAN: HOPE starts with an H, stupid!
...
Pete Holmes Show
...
haa batman is such an ASS!

my keyboard just froze again, so I'm replying via phone. haa I seriously need an upgrade! this is frakkin' LAME!

131022
so my tire is flat, then it's not. I don't get it. "the twilight zone..."

131024
people actually thought I was dressed as a character at Anime Expo when it was just me in my flashy pink shirt.

131025
I want a daughter I can call my own.

131026
WALKING DEAD season 4

131028
colleague: have you ever been to New York?
ANH: haa no, I've lived in Paris. that was enough!

131029
Jebus, colleague just brought these hot chicken and cheese tamales! sooo frakkin' DAEBAK!

I do not care for event caricature artists for hire. they just keep following the same formula; every face they draw resembles everybody else's. uninspired factory work.

131030
happy mother's day, MOM!
...
haa to the one person who deserves everything...
SARANG HAE, OMMA!

131031
"je cherche l'ombre pour danser avec toi, mon amour, sur ces musiques anciennes..." ='(

homemade light and crunchy raisin cookies... DAEBAK!