SKITS SEPTEMBER

130901
MEGAN LEE is looking more and more like TIFFANY [SNSD]! some are saying she resembles IU, SUZY, and such. uh... NO!

i'm done with VIETS! the ones still in my list, consider yourself lucky.

deleting viets, yet just now, another wants to add me. wait, what?

MOM: CHAMSUTGOL is only 50% as good as INCHEONWON.
...
ain't that the truth!

such timing, as i was deleting one viet, another shows up. OTTOKE?!

ANH: sooo frakkin' done with viets!
KY: What happened? I'll curse them out in viet for you! Haha
ANH: thanks for cursing, non-curser!
...
haa love those sweet ugly ones who always have my back.

PHO > VIET

my ASPERGER condition doesn't really allow me to lie; you ask me if you look fat in that dress, i will tell you the bitter truth... and THEN some!

SUPERVISOR: what are you working on?
ANH: oh, nothing. what, was i supposed to lie?
...
haa i cannot be two-faced like most peeps at work!

when you agree to show up and don't, that's when you're on my blacklist FOREVERRR! i only like flakes in my cereals, peaches!

130902
HAPPY HANUKKAH!

DON: even if i come over, i'd just be playing RESIDENT EVIL 6 by myself.
ANH: nooo, it's a two-player! you can use BOTH controllers by yourself.

"no, it's nothing! my face hit the door knob."
...
i guess getting beaten to a pulp is the idea of love for some girls.

ANH: lesbi-honest, you're still hung up on your ex?
EX: i never told you my ex was a guy.
...
OMGWTFKBBQ?!

GALPAL: lemme know when i say anything offensive.
ANH: i'll just slap you with a big fish... or medium-long beef intestines.

some peeps i thought were cool turned out to be LAME; while some peeps i thought were lame turned out to be COOL and they just keep getting better!

GALPAL: haa i'll tag him!
ANH: don't, if you know what's best for you.
GALPAL: what am i going to lose?
ANH: your spot in my friends list.

GALPAL: do you mind if i smoke in your car?
ANH: hold on, lemme drop you off at the nearest bus stop.

130903
asians are either oblivious and/or selfish drivers.
...
WELCOME to asiantown EVERYWHERE!

asians are oblivious and/or suicidal pedestrians!
ALHAMBRA is a NIGHTMARE if you rather avoid asian drivers.

lying does not help... neither is telling the truth.

JEFF: you can HIDE people's boring/lame posts from your news feed!
ANH: uh, what if i deleted them by accident?
JEFF: LOL problem solved!

JEFF: that person I showed you would update every few minutes random things; they clogged my news feed.
ANH: KIM JUNG UN?

130904
TAHITI - love sick
...
ANH: wait, what's her name again? i know it!
NEPHEW: JISOO!
...
haa this band's first catchy song!

CLIENT: You've been so professional and such a pleasure to work with so far, I hope we continue to have such a productive relationship with you in the future!
...
it does pay off for me to have such great people's SKILLZ!

KIT: ooh, the new SAMSUNG note 10.1 and SAMSUNG note 3 are coming out!
ANH: well, i'm not one to upgrade my electronics every month... only girlfriends.

130905
wait wait wait, YouTube actually pays for sketch comedies?!

JON DAVIS gets a sex robot - Ep. 1
...
GIRLFRIEND: wow, asian... interesting.
BOYFRIEND: uh, i think that's the only model that they make.
...
BAHAHAA

130906
ANH: listen, if we cannot find the house number for this party, we'll hit another one.
TU: whoa, you even have a backup party?!

CHRIS: Anh, Mark Zuckerberg is watching you.
ANH: ooh, why?!
CHRIS: he's using people's statuses to promote facebook!
ANH: omo omo... INCHEONWON!

HUGH: anh's gonna take our picture! quickly, everyone gather around TARA for a group shot!
CHRIS: BUKKAKE!

TU: whaaat? you used to drive up to RIVERSIDE? what did you do?
ANH: my girlfriend.

keeping in touch with peeps who don't have facebook is a pain; who emails or texts anymore?!

DAVE: any time i want a quick laugh, i think of people who use hashtags on facebook.
ANH: haa just like sleep, hashtags are for LOSERS!

GUPPY Tea House
...
where food is made by kids who don't know what real food is.

130907
i hate spreading good news; they only get better.

130908
MOM: nooo, i never seen this film (Underworld_Awakening) with you!
ANH: mom, i don't have a girlfriend right now; who am i gonna watch movies with?!

DAVE: which character do you tend to portray well as?
ANH: the "asshole"... i act that part so well, some people actually believe it's me.

wedding quote
...
"First, the engagement RING; then, the wedding RING; and finally, the suffeRING!"

130909
ANH: a 6-minute drive to work is absolutely RIDICULOUS!
ANTHONY: sweeeeeet! you ought to walk it!
ANH: impossible, walking would take me a whole 12 minutes.

130910
to the peeps still Candy Crushing... find a HOBBY!

i have no problem socializing, but i'm more careful with potentially back-stabbing co-workers now.

when faced with a co-worker you wanna stab in the eye, smile widely like a maniac.

don't get on her bad side, Naomi Dang? doesn't pull hair, she KICKBOXES!

"we need someone who can do web design AND web programming."
...
why hire 2 professionals when you can hire 1 who is okay with both. haa

to those who keep bashing peeps who make great use of facebook, it's okay if you're not that popular! BAHAHAA

like it or not, sharing things on facebook does impact other people's lives.

130911
ugly face > ugly personality

Adobe Illustrator, i frakkin' HATE you, but i'mma MASTER you!

can you peaches stop being so surprised?! no, i'm neither drunk nor high! this is ME!

jebus, i know your car is an american classic, but it sounds like a beat-up motorbike! it's chocking!

Anhjun Lozfen took a photo with Instacrap.
...
damn you, restrictive SQUARE format!

coworker: even if you're not coming in tomorrow, will you join us for potluck?
ANH: aww, i can't... i'm 6 minutes from here; rush hour, 12 minutes!

130913
aunt BICH: I like it. where is this place?
ANH: i believe it's thailand.
aunt BICH: were you in thailand?
ANH: well... my ex was thai, so technically, i was IN thailand.

MOM: hurry with the bathroom, i need to dye my hair.
DAD: i don't take that long to shower.
ANH: it's not your showering, it's what you do on your porcelain throne.

G-rated people are hilarious; they never get my brand of humor! haa

was it a mistake to confirm my aunt? i hope my posts won't be too traumatic for her.

family shouldn't be categorized under "friends", but "SPIES"! unless you're my DAEBAK cousin Tu Do?, then it's a-OKAYYY!

how do you tell somebody their baby just isn't that cute without hurting their feelings?

those trying so hard to look white are delusional; we can still tell they're ASIAN! ewwww

ANH: we ALL should work 4 days and have 3-day weekends!
TU: CUT MONDAYS! They always give me a bad vibe.
ANH: inevitable, you would hate tuesdays instead.
TU: Then let's make it TU's-DAY!

apparently, there's money in dentistry; people need their teeth.

ANH: i usually avoid dating colleagues, but peeps usually run into their significant others at work! the dilemma!
TU: so you have your eye on someone.
ANH: hmm, somewhat. i still dunno what her position is... sexually.

what was i thinking? just got a flu shot, yet still did some pull-ups afterward.

130914
when some couples break up, i'm always itching to say, "haa i knew it! sooo predictable!"

those peeps who keep being paranoid about everything are quite annoying; stop being a WORRIER and become a WARRIOR! NO FEAR, peaches!

feel sorry for those who still don't know what BRISKETS are. evidently, they don't know how to enjoy great food!

"Inking was a necessity of the printing process used in comic books and other print publications; the presses could not reproduce pencilled drawings."
"A good inker can salvage shaky pencils, while a bad one can obliterate great draftsmanship..."

130916
COLLEAGUE: wow, you'll be spoiled! we're getting you two monitors!
...
haa what am i gonna use two 30" monitors for?!

if i knew about this company earlier, i would've quit the other sinking ship a long time ago! finally feeling appreciated... LIKE

some adults really lack good grammar; missing and incorrectly using punctuations here and there... i don't understand your gibberish, dammit! are you HIGH?!

130917
"you see, at APPLE, we like to add sh*t a little bit behind; so everytime we bring something out, you think it's a new innovation, and it's NOT! and you keep falling for it!"
...
David So
...
iphones are always up-to-date with yesterday's technology! BAHAHAA

COLLEAGUE: how do i use fonts i just downloaded in photoshop? i'm not tech-savvy.
...
figures, she owns an iPHONE! BAHAHAA

it's amazing how easily some peeps fall for SPAM... and i'm not talking about filipinos.

perhaps i should stop joking about cambos; many believe i actually hate them. haa naah...

KPOP is the only religion i need to preach.

after all i've done for her, she deleted me over my posts about cambos, god, or... INCHEONWON! haa hey, i can be friends with dummies too!

pardon my french, but "n'ya pas beaucoup de femmes qui sont intelligente comme Nikki Wang Daebak?, peaches!"

ANH: my favorite acting role is that of a jerk. we should really do some together.
CHRIS: haa we should!
ANH: ...some uglies.

everytime i see people on their iphones, i assume they're either beating a TETRIS level (no SWYPE feature!) or texting the person next to them.

APPLE: hmm, perhaps it's about time we introduce SWYPE as new technology to the masses.

APPLE: we should dip our present iphone in GOLD and sell it as the next generation model! GENIUS!

and... don't get me started with BLACKBERRY that won't give up that klunky physical keyboard with those tiny buttons and that frakkin' scroll ball!
...
BLACKBERRY
"APPLE's outdated technology the day before yesterday... today."

130918
the third time might just be the charm. this is a wonderful, drama-free work environment. LIKE

i'm more of a commercial artist (yes, the kind that makes money) than a fine artist. those peeps are even stranger than i am. i absolutely respect how much artsier and craftier they are... AMAZING!

i leaned over to bear-hug this one gay friend and he just brushed me away? frakkin' homoFOB!

cool peeps who turned out to be lame are the LAMEST!
lame peeps who turned out to be cool, now that's a pleasant... SUPPLIES!

thought JOY was hot, then she opened her mouth... even HOTTER! BJ POV!

to my parents, all latinos are mexican; they cannot tell the difference. haa the HORROR! the WHORE!

colleague: that smells good! what are you having?
MIKE: yes, it's japanese curry.
colleague: ooh, i LOVE chinese food!
MIKE: wait, didn't i just say-- nevermind.

wow, the things you can find searching with Safe Mode OFF online... DAEBAK!

MIKE: gomenasai desuka! TEXAS REPRESENT!

CONAN has no clue about gaming, yet he's rating "HITMAN: absolution"! haa my SENSEI!

KIM TAEMI literally kicks ass! tomboys ROCK!

NICOLE: I hate it when you have to hopscotch your way around the sidewalk because some inconsiderate pet owner decided not to pick up after their dog.
ANH: so the pile was too high for you to hop over?

130919
(D&B)
PAUL: wanna play one game?
ANH: just like sleep, gaming is for LOSERS!
PAUL: everyone here has a master's degree.
ANH: AND...?

which affordable laptop workhorse with maxed out hardware should my sister buy? the one with the correct answer gets free beers at DON's.

130920
"there's something good about naming your dog after your ex-boyfriend; you feel better when you let him starve, but it still hurts when he looks at other female dogs."
...
Four Colors of Love KSERIES

LESBIONIC KILLS... walkers! [drawing]
...
for those that i missed, sorry! facebook only allows 39 tags per photo. BAHAHAA

would be more convenient if you could LIKE someone's LIKE.

yes, i post everything else but your redundant selfies with the same pose angle, post after post after post...

GALPAL: haa it's so funny! ANW BRB
ANH: you mispelled ANH.
ANH: i misspelled "misspelled".

YES! invites ONLY! no more bringing your own mess of people who rather isolate themselves from the rest of the much COOLER peaches!

130921
JALIEN REYNEKE is the SHIITAKE!

when i'm listening to a good song, i'm entranced; stop interrupting! it displeases me.

people and their annoying after-market alarm systems! i should stick a banana in their exhaust pipes!

CHRIS: Monica Bellucci is frakkin' HOT! jizzed.
ANH: you have about the same taste as me; yet again, virgins like you get excited over ALL women. haa

130922
i got so bored laying in bed, so i just had to get up and do something constructive.


i couldn't see through this one driver's rear window at all! no, it wasn't tinted; it looked as though it was dug up from the grave.
...
a person's hygiene is easily determined with how clean they maintain their car. to the one with an entire fishbone at the bottom of the passenger side... whatta fcuk?!

130923
i'm now used to maintaining 2 jobs; i don't think i wanna go back to just one.

colleague: ooh, is that your first paycheck? is it correct?
ANH: haa i don't know, i just trust you guys with it.
colleague: it's OFFICIAL!
...
haa i'm barely 2 weeks in and it seems like they've already made up their minds!

i'm absolutely thankful to those who have great use for my skillset.

whenever you guys crave briskets-- correction, INCHEONWON, you HAVE to lemme know!

ANH: just started a new job, but i'm not leaving you guys!
Art Director: congrats on the new job! we need you, man. haa you're the best! keep up the good work!
...
everything eventually falls into place; you just have to take risks. if you're not happy with what or who you're doing, LEAVE IT!

"to be treated as a professional, always under-promise and over-deliver."
...
FENG ZHU

MOM: what do you want for dinner?
ANH: PHO!
MOM: we don't have beef! i'll make you chicken pho.
ANH: eww, nooo!
MOM: i'll make you chicken pho with beef.

130924
i do miss my gay co-workers; just the gay ones, the straight ones are always so overly dramatic.

now, that's why peeps easily trust me; all jokes aside, when i say something i do mean, i REALLY mean it!

Nikki?: oh, i hate to do this, i can't do tonight, but i'll stop by to say hi!
...
that's when i knew this ugly ^ goes out of her way to please others. LIKE

when comments turn into an endless chat forum, i unfollow my own post.

sorry for my typos... in FRENCH, peaches! BAHAHAA

fem colleague: what are you, by the way?
ANH: haa the million dollar question! what about you?
fem colleague: oh, i'm korean.
...
fcuk

i often do everyone the favor of flagging down miscategorized and spammish ads on craigslist; nobody has time to get ripped off.

WACOM Cintiq 24HD, $2500? seriously?!
i'll just ducktape 4 SAMSUNG note 10.1 together!
...
TERRENCE: we can dream.
ANH: i'm already happy i can put my dreams on "paper".

i like uglies like Naomi who don't know how HOT they are; such modesty!

i kinda miss jenn's "boxy" drawings! i think she's the actual MINECRAFT concept artist.

130925
i'm not a graphic designer perse, but i can fake it pretty well. haa i'm self-taught and just fell into it! PHOTOSHOP ROCKS

girly, let's have a romantic dinner, you, me... and your boy! i challenge him to out-eat ANH... and out-drink. you can drive. BAHAHAA

going through the list for potential guests is such a CHORE! i don't even know half of you mofos; i'mma have to start cleaning... INCHEONWON!

deleting peeps who haven't contacted since... yesterday.

jebus, my laptop just burnt out; good thing i have two other ones.

hope i didn't invite any vegetarian to my VIKING FEAST event!

3 phony fockers, stephen, pherny, rithy... OUT! i don't delete, i BLOCK!
i love people, but i too have my limits.

many mofos are only nice for their own selfish agendas;
beware who your "friends" are. i'm quite good at cutting the fat.

i easily discard of the rotten ones; more room for quality human beings.

colleague: which kpop artists do you listen to? i like that one song RUN DEVIL RUN by that one girl.
ANH: haa it's GIRLS' GENERATION! not a person, it's a BAND!

130926
a previous playful post of mine said:
"EVERYBODY loves David AweSom?! stephen roberts? not so much."
...
well now, it has become the truth; STEPH is a bonafide PRICK! frakkin' chinese commie.

"I just don't need to fake the funk. I have no ulterior motive to get in anyone's pants or use them for their skills. The positive energy provides me spiritual support. If they like me MORE than that, its a plus. If not, so be it. I've been through enough fake friends and backstabbers in one lifetime, I just want to be able to spread positive vibes worldwide. We all need love. The whole world does cuz it makes me sick to turn on the news. There's no time for selfishness or attention to detail in the wrong areas."
...
David AweSom?
...
this is why this orangutan ^ caught my attention the first time i met him;
a happy-go-lucky AWESOME human being.

i thought stephen's best friend would know better, but he's just as much of an idiot; you are what you eat!

HELP! anyone know of any one-bedroom apartment near LONG BEAH or SANTA ANA? DAVID AWESOM needs a place PRONTO!
...
NICOLE: do you know what his price range is?
ANH: for nicole or the appartment?

just noticed, i build people up, she tears them down; no wonder she keeps losing friends!

mofo is slowly deleting my friends, but keeping the ugly girls. haa seriously?

DAVID COOK: What's going on with Stephen Roberts? What did he do to you?
ANH: haa such a LONG story! well, he's one of the few pricks who's only around me to get to my uglies. also has been talking crap about me since he couldn't handle my joking about him. and the final straw... he got drunk; started fist fighting DAVID AWESOM; then kicked him out. and you know anyone named DAVID is pretty AWESOME!

SLEEP! i'll take the night-shift on facebook for you, peaches!

130927
now, they would like me to be a french translator? it's nice to have that in my arsenal.

MOM just dreamt of me leaving her; she was frantically searching for me. haa i'm not going anywhere, i'm not an ingrate... OMMA, SARANGHAE!

colleague: i use NORTON antivirus.
ANH: did it come with your macbook?
colleague: no, i had to pay for it.
ANH: i use AVG, it's freeware.
colleague: oh, REALLY?
...
haa APPLE user ^

130928
GET WISER, GIRLIES! just because i'm a mutual friend with them does not mean i necessarily know them. you don't have to confirm their friend request; there are plenty of creepers out there!

if you peaches are too lazy to print your own family photos, burn them on a disc and bring them to COSTCO. they shouldn't just sit in your hard drives; they're precious!

english is a language i'm so very tired of hearing, but i'm unfortunately stuck with.

forget about their hits; most bands' better songs are their obscured ones.

130929
i only blacklist those who agree to show up, but never do! it's perfectly alright if you cannot make it to my event, peaches!

never make promises you cannot keep; that's extremely inconsiderate and disrespectful to the person who put time and effort to accommodate you.

130930
Korean Americans... MEH! i can date any other color and they STILL would know what KPOP is!

colleague: i'm listening to SNSD and i'm still trying to figure out what they're saying.
ANH: if you're a true music lover, you don't need to understand everything they're saying... just sayin'!
...
i also listen to french, spanish, italian, romanian, chinese, thai, japanese, farsi, hongkongnese with british accents... FCUK THE POLICE!

NEWS reports that the US government is on the verge of shutting down completely.
...
oh NOOOES! i'm moving to... INCHEONWON!

colleague: my friend stole my rims and he had the audacity to tell me, "hey brian, check out my new RIMS!"
...
haa some peeps have the lousiest "friends"!

don't call yourself a chicken lover if you cannot eat everything down to their feet... same with women. haa jizzed.

i have to find out which neighbor keeps smoking near my window so i could plant a banana into both of their exhaust pipes.

ANH: TAEYEON needs to get americanized so we could speak with her; if not, we have KY!
JEFF: KY rocks KPOP!
...
KY... more korean than KoreAms.

i made my ugly colleague laugh, and she hit me hard. does that mean anything?

sonuvaBEEEEP! Don?'s ugly daughter animated this?! too talented! true JAP! she seriously should get into animation. i'mma get this video and tell everyone i made it...

and to think that those in government jobs thought they were totally secured.

130901
2-3 of 1000 Americans have Asperger. It's all clear to me now; No wonder some consider me insensitive!

130904
"Malicious comments and all the gossip are signs of an inferiority complex."
...
Flower Boy Next Door (Kseries)

"'Always try to see the best in people.' As a consequence, I'm inclined to reserve all judgments... Even I have my limits."
...
THE GREAT GATSBY

130905
STREET FIGHTER II with MOM is hilarious! as I take time to teach her special moves, she keeps beating me to a pulp.

130906
dreamt about sorting out my real friends from the fakes at gun point. then, the waiter was slowly approaching me...
ANH: oh nonono, I know what you're trying to do. YES, more BRISKETS, please!

"Jay, they're a rotten crowd! you're worth a whole bunch of them put together!"
...
THE GREAT GATSBY

named after a flower, yet you didn't bother to bring him even one. fcuk you, DAISY!

130908
Anhjun Lozfen is watching THE SOCIAL NETWORK?

it's so much easier to hang out with working friends. I'mma have to delete half of you peaches! BAHAHAA

Jebus, it's a non-stop 14-hour flight to Australia?! I can hardly sit still through a 2-hour film in theaters!

Mike Tran is one Cambo who's never been phony to me. I'm glad you're in my circle of trust, you Jap!

130909
GALPAL: she thought you were into her cuz you treated her to INCHEONWON.
ANH: I treat some guyfriends too; does that mean I wanna date them? BAHAHAA

Ben Affleck: daddy doesn't wanna drive the batmobile!
...
JERSEY GIRL
...
yet he's gonna be the next BATMAN! Haa

130911
you're telling me this company functions with the honor system instead of micro-management?! that's outrageous!

MOM is enjoying WALKING DEAD season 3 episode 8... too addictive!

Sprite + RUM = Hardcore Mountain Dew!

130913
frakkin' Mexican was throwing a fit cuz I was unpurposely blocking him from turning into his driveway. I was about to roll down the window and curse him out, but my AC was on.

130914
unless it's ladies' gymnastics, I cannot get excited watching any sport; they make me flaccid. Zzzzz

I laugh in the face of those who think they're smarter than anybody else. nobody cares for a narcissistic know-it-all.

GALPAL: I cannot have briskets with you! I'm on a diet. I can have frozen yogurt... FROYO!
ANH: hey, watch your language!

I miss Vegas as much as Disneyland... very little.

130915
Jebus, parents are grilling squids? that pungent odor! them Asians can eat ANYTHING!

MOM is convinced that Abraham Lincoln was a bonafide vampire hunter! haa down with the confederates! absolutely original fun action film.

130917
ANH: he's an idiot for believing her.
GALPAL: whoa, I'm an idiot too!
ANH: haa she kept wanting to be my partner, but she's not... INCHEONWON!
GALPAL: BAHAHAA

these earplugs work all too well; I couldn't here the alarm clock! how do I get to work on time?! it's a whole 6 minutes away! HOW?!

APPLE
yesterday's technology... today.

130918
it's true that women are more critical of each other's looks. some I find extremely attractive, she finds them hideous. could it be jealousy?

130919
WOMAN: alright, I can't lie. I don't have brain tumor. I just couldn't think of a good reason to break up with you.
MAN: I'd kiss you goodbye, but I don't wanna catch brain cancer.
...
CHILDRENS HOSPITAL (ER parody series)

130920
anyone know of any opening in the medical field? my ugly galpal needs part time work!

130921
why are Asians all wearing flip flops at the market? don't they know how heavy shopping carts are?

how can anyone be under-qualified to do the most basic task? Even clumsy DON can do a better job!

130925
Korean BBQ beef ribs for lunch?! sonuvaBEEEEP!

STEPHEN: I'm going to my 3rd job. dunno if I could handle this much, but it's money!
ANH: why don't you just work at one that pays more?
...
haa nobody likes a show off!

130926
you screw others over, your reputation will be advertised on my wall... on BLAST!

you cannot become an alpha male by throwing punches; you're just born with it.

Dammit, stuck in traffic. it's been a whole 6 minutes! AAARGH

colleague: I pay $1 per song with iTunes. that's a pretty good deal.
ANH: I get my songs for free from my KPOP dealer.
colleague: oh, really?!
...
haa deprived APPLE user ^

when you break up with a friend, can you still be friends?

BLOCKING is such a great feature... the legal way to KILL!

130927
being around a friend who's always sad drains your happiness away. at some point, you have to give them permission to jump off a cliff.

ROOMMATE: oh, are you committing suicide?! if you are, leave a note or they'll blame me!
...
Four Colors of Love KSERIES

130928
Filipinos >< Cambos
...
dunno, still deciding, but I know South Koreans beat them both! haa

FWB: you can hang with them, but I don't want anything to do with those combos.
ANH: it's not "combos", it's "cambos"!

racist mofos don't know what they're missing; I cannot have chicken everyday.

130929
getting rid of some leechers off my list is liberating! pretentious mofos can't get girls on their own.

130930
Korean colleague: is there really a band named GIRLS'GENERATION?
...
it amazes me how many Korean Americans still don't know what KPOP is. Korean FAIL!