Sunday, September 1, 2013

SKITS AUGUST

130802
Wow, the produce at this Mexican market is so fresh, they practically grow it at Miles Square Park.

130803
GALPAL: that girl took a double take on you.
...
Really? I'm so bad at reading signs!

130807
American TV is pretty much sh*t. 100's of channels and barely anything good!

130808
Yes, I often avoid inviting my galpals over cuz my family always automatically think I'm dating them!

NEPHEW: why did you leave aunty KITTY?
ANH: she ate too much... BRISKETS!

I'm ovulating!

130810
MICHELLE: how can anyone not like raspberry wine soju?
ANH: the ones who think tequila is good. Ugh...

RUM... The poison that got me a girlfriend and an FWB at the club! Perhaps I should try that again.

130811
Just donated to two different homeless guys within 2 minutes of each other. Is that wrong?

there's a cover of "it's raining men" playing at the Vietnamese market. Are those people tone-deaf? Sounds terrible! Haa

130812
Even my own family doesn't believe that I do not cheat on women. Thank you for your support!

Everyone keeps cheering for my nephew in his taekwondo class. I kinda feel bad for the other kid.

130815
With technology, we are more connected, yet disconnected. I often avoid using my phone or tablet at the dinner table; it's frakkin' rude to everyone.

ANH: I'm glad I stumbled upon you guys. Great visionary endeavor with creative projects. I actually get to use what I studied for!
ANDREW: That makes me really happy to hear anh! We are really happy we stumbled upon you! We really enjoy working with you

My professional career is slowly getting back on track while you're slowly losing yours; Karma is a bitch, bitch.

130817
Bruce: hope you didn't like me for my money.
Miranda: suffering builds character.
...
Dark Knight Rises

I only cared for the last 30 minutes of "The Dark Knight Rises". BANE and his annoyingly slow speeches.

130818
"It's inevitable, it's just a matter of time. You will get noticed... Keep adding new stuff to your portfolio. It will happen eventually."
...
Marius Bota

130821
I'm convinced my smartphone is made of animal fat.

130822
Jebus, is gas cheaper? Just overflowed my tank!

130823
I'm not a fan, but don't bother opening a beer if you can't finish it. POSERS! Haa

Failures help you evolve personally and professionally. Making mistakes forces you to try new things.

130824
"All my life, I've been liked by both men and women. I have a unisex face."
...
HOTARU no HIKARI 3

"Any woman who tries her best in life is lovely."
...
HOTARU no HIKARI 3

130825
Now, why is there a tiger in the bathroom?!

130826
Funny how some women never learned to apply makeup correctly. It's like they're using Crayolas.

White man: excuse me, what is this (pointing at pile of durians)?
MOM: fruit.

I have to higher my standards; keep dating low grade "women".

It's ridiculously cold in my car. Brrr!

No worries, officer! I don't speed like I used to; too busy dancing to Girls' Generation's whimsical songs!

Jackie Chan died... again? I almost killed myself hearing that "news" cuz I like him even more than Michael Jackson! It's FAKE! Another hoax from some dumb mofo.

ANH: FCUK! Owowow
MOM: what happened?
ANH: I hit this stupid useless coffee table again!
MOM: you need a bandaid?
ANH: no, men don't need bandaids!
MOM: alright, Rambo.

130827
Note to Self: beer is a TERRIBLE chaser for RUM! Fcuk My Wife!

No, it's not that bad; I only drink whenever someone likes my post.

130830
GIFs, the GIF that keeps on GIF-ing!

130831
Just heard a neighbor sneeze "ATCHUM!". No one ever words that out when they sneeze!

Married people tend to forget who their friends are. And if things go sour, they have... no one.
130801
i seldom unfollow Nikki Wang Daebak?'s posts; she's a DAEBAK clown without trying. haa

yes, my SKITS blog is uncensored; i actually name names!

i enjoy introducing good friends to each other since they won't do it on their own!

i don't consider myself a foodie; i don't hunt for all kinds, but i do enjoy the good ones when i stumble upon them.

i definitely do not watch nor read the news; have no need for the extra drama.

SCHINDLER'S LIST
...
"whoever saves one life, saves the world entire... there will be generations because of what you did."
...
wow, finally got to see this masterpiece. beautiful poignant film!

"I've been mulling over the project. Honestly, you're one of our top artists!"
...
wow, encouraging words of praise from an art director! i really need to be around more peeps like this.

CRYSTAL: it's just-- i hate stupid people!
ANH: so i take it, you're not a fan of my ex, kitty.
CRYSTAL: haa no, i'm not. her brains got swapped for her giant DDD boobies.
MOM: all the briskets went to her breasts.

i usually give everyone only one chance.
with restaurants, it's one strike; if they don't impress me the first time, i won't be promoting them at all... PERIOD

sorry, i'm not filipino enough to eat briskets nuked and blackened with zero nutritional value.
...
this excludes Bert Cruz? cuz he actually knows how meat is supposed to be cooked, peaches!
...
"when you go black, you can always go back!"

130803
KITTY: i wouldn't have dated you if i didn't like you.
...
i could've sworn she was only after my BRISKETS! haa

due to KPOP uglies, i haven't checked on pornstars in a LONG while! perhaps, i should.

SPLINTER CELL - BLACKLIST
...
"leave no witnesses behind."
...
i absolutely prefer stealth missions over shoot 'em ups. SAM FISHER cannot be beat!

130804
BARBIE - life in the dreamhouse (season 1)
...
FRIENDS: we're famished... AND starving!
BARBIE: hold on, i may have a mint in my pocket...
...
BAHAHAA these webisodes are priceless!

SKETCHY MICRO: we would like to increase the amount of projects we send you.
...
sonuvaBEEEEP yes, please!

Project Manager: You are good at keeping things distinct and uncluttered, which is why I wanted you to do this project.

to my supporters... i WUV you ALL!

GALPAL: Damn, I wanted to send a bunch of LIKES but it wouldn't let me send 2 in a row!
...
aww, limitations with chat, but i totally appreciate it, boob!

MOM: ethan is starting school in a couple of weeks... REAL school!
ANH: you mean [my nephew]'s been going to a fake one all this time?!

130805
if you wanna succeed, make sure to have a skillset not many have.

everything happens for a reason; things are slowly starting to take shape.

sorry for being MIA for so long. i'll make it up to you, peaches!

INCHEONWON will only be able to sit 5 peeps maximum at my table since Justine? will need extra room for her LEGGGS!

MOM: if a girl catches your eye, you have to grab her right away.
ANH: ooh ooh! where?!

PARK MIN YOUNG (I AM SAM kseries)
...
korean actresses just frakkin' RULE!

130806
flipping through these cable channels, HOLLYWOOD has to be pumping out most of the worst films in the world!

i just ran out of peeps to mass-tag.

i don't see the point of handling extra accounts like twitter, instagram, or pinterest when i can so easily just post everything on FACEBOOK! haa
...
KIT: you're forgetting Google+!
ANH: what's that?

Google+... a place where you can mingle with nobody for some quiet time.

Jeff's response to kitty's nude photos:
"Damn. I got poked in my eye at the gym. Shorts ruined. Thanks hyung!"

JEFF: korean restaurants in that city are closed on sundays for churk.
ANH: CHURK must be a new cult.
JEFF: LOL i turned off auto-correct! i go typewriter style!
ANH: haa hardcore OLD SCHOOL!
KITTY: LOL my bra exploded!

#people #definitely #get #carried #away #with #hashtags

you'd think they'd make all phones shockproof and waterproof. it's all about turning more profit with extra accessories.

130807
wish i could get buzzed without having to drink 4 shots or 6 beers; it would be cheaper.

Didn't know using the creative side of my mind all day long would take so much out of me... Zzzzzz

130808
1251 invites?! haa i doubt my being there would make much difference... DECLINE!

it's tough to decline on peeps' events; you wanna be there, but you don't.

the extremely bored consistently play facebook games.

the ones taking a chance on my artwork find themselves getting their money's worth; they want more... WANG DAEBAK!

JEFF: i could get lost; need GPS.
ANH: haa LOST, like some peeps having trouble figuring out how to use a GPS!

JEFF: kimchi pho... someone should invent that!
ANH: impossible, kimchi would lose its flavor once it hits the flavorful pho broth, brother!

i'm mixing strawberry juice with SOJUUU! is that okay?

i'm sorry, but we koreans can out-eat any texan, peaches!

Anhjun Lozfen completed Level i-have-better-things-to-do in Candy Crush Saga.

no, i very seldom hold grudges; i'm not a bitch.

i don't make excuses. if i need to stare at another girl, i'mma do it; just cuz i'm with you doesn't mean i'm blind.

listen, Nikki?. you already know better than this... good-looking people tend to lack in personality! you have to tell yourself at some point, "i wanna have fun! i'mma date the ugly ones, damnit!"

sorry if i've missed your comments or even tags, peaches! too busy catching up to Jeff Poh?'s massive KPOP links! WOOHOO!

WOMAN: honey~! why did you have to drink so much?!
ANH: cuz he's married to you.

Don Vu? is LEGEND... wait for it... DARY!

130809
a guy should already be serious enough with you after 3 years, married or not. that's commitment; nothing to worry about.

whaaat? nephew drank the last of my strawberry juice?! Simply Lemonade SOJU, it is!

if you hesitate to open up to me about anything personal, i do not consider you a good friend.

yes, i usually know what people like. haa

130810
sorry, but once i find out you're a racist, you won't get as much respect (or any at all) from me; everyone is human, shut up and live with it.

"the meaning of life"? help and live for those who need you; as simple as that.

GOOD will always triumph cuz EVIL is... dumb.

as much as i love people, i stopped trying with some. i only make time for those who matter; you know who you are!

GALPAL: Hah I don't think anyone understands you ... You always make me laugh. Hah.. You entertain others easily.

i need to drink so i'm less shy around people. BAHAHAA *burp*

briskets disappear waaay too fast from the grill! seating at a table of 4... or 1 is best.

INCEPTION is such a soothing and inspiring soundtrack to concentrate and draw to.

almost choked on my own burp. whattafcuk?

ANH: the chinese dragon is more stylish than the medieval dragon.
MICHELLE ROSS: Very true.... Medieval is just so big and bulky.
ANH: like most americans.
MICHELLE: haa so mean!
ANH: haa truth hurts.i will only write that in my blog.i have some fat friends; they can read it in my blog.

GALPAL: I really want a tattoo that I can see; I get bummed that I can't see my dragon.
ANH: have a map of america done on your face.

am i loud? i feel like when i talk, EVERYONE can hear!

Tuanson Nguyen? has to be a lucky dood; RAINA is DAEBAK!

yes, i can easily fake an american accent... in FRENCH!

Anhjun Schindler
...
since i changed my name, hopefully, no one can find me now...

SISTER: i had to block the adult channels--
ANH: oh nono, no big deal! i have my own.
SISTER: because of ethan (nephew)...

ANH: thank you for taking a break from WARCRAFT to answer, hardcore korean gamer with 400x connection!
JEFF: haa I don't play warcraft or games anymore. koreans play STARCRAFT!
ANH: yeah, i'm too busy drawing. video games, once in a blue moon... for 15 minutes. BAHAHAA

JEFF: Choa is like the second coming of Taeyeon.
TAEYEON: Thanks oppa for making me cum twice!

130811
TRON UPRISING
...
with a wide range of extremely original looking characters.
this is 3D animation as 2D done RIGHT; KICKASS series!

i'm barely starting the AVATAR series; and have to continue WALKING DEAD... season 2! haa jebus, so much to catch up with!

130812
HONDA U3-X self-balancing "unicycle" is DAEBAK!
haa love the tech, but that's just gonna make fat americans LAZIER!

the ones who don't know any better tend to jump into the iphone bandwagon here. i'm not brand-biased... unless it's SAMSUNG! BAHAHAA

SAMSUNG note 10.1 is making me money, not iPAD; i'm doing commissioned work drawing on it. ; not just EPIC fail, but APPLE FAIL! LIKE
...
"those who work own PCs." BAHAHAA

FRIEND: what's he doing anyway?
ANH: dunno, duncare.
...
TIP: stop hanging with peeps that slow you down.

9MUSES "friends fun" potato chips commercial
...
only south korea can make an ENTIRE music video to advertise CHIPS! haa KYUNGRI is such a hottie.

130813
JEFF: i dreamt about one of your galpals.
ANH: that would be a nightmare for me.

130814
PASS! no princesses nor lesbians for me, thank-you.

i wouldn't mind having 2 1/2 kids... 2 kids and a dwarf... or a dog.

i'm a "mother-father gentleman"! yes, i tend to treat women with respect, but it doesn't necessarily means i'm into you.

if i happen to miss anyone in my last post, tag yourself!

whoa, jebus... grape juice + soju = wine!

130815
"could you use an iPAD for drawing?"
...
haa again, NOOO! cuz APPLE is just too narcissistic to have WACOM technology built-in!

GALPAL: are you going to her wedding?
ANH: psh, she deleted me.
GALPAL: aww, anyone else i would understand, but you?
ANH: haa it's okay, there are smarter ones where she came from.

most people aren't bad; they just choose the wrong people to side with.

when an asian asks me, "what's DAEBAK?", they're not asian enough for me.

drinking tremendously helps drown out anyone's nagging... LIKE!

jebus, i'm eating more yogurt than i should be!

no sweat, it only looks like i have a drinking problem on facebook; i have only one true addiction... KPOP, peaches!

am i the only one who thinks ISLANDS burger restaurant is overrated?

used to have trust in people... till i met cambodians.

no, i definitely do not believe in the devil... i have no fear.

hey dumb-dumb, you might finally be able to get a woman when you stop referring to them as PUSSIES!
...
KITTY: LOL i get that ALL the time!

130816
you have to choose to be happy. if you're gonna keep stressing over every little thing, don't drag anyone else down with you.

i don't know how anyone cannot enjoy laughing... HARD. REALLY LOUDLY!

130817
when i have interest in someone, i usually initiate even if my friends saw her first. she's the one who makes the choice. haa

puh-leez, i was raised with Frenchies. keep an open mind, try all flavors.

EX: i never told you my ex was a guy.
...
haa whatta...? WHY?!

130818
"Why do I have friends on my list whom I've never added and don't know?"
...
either they just changed their facebook name or you forgot whom you've added; i tend to do that with family members. haa

wearing a wrist brace to ease the pain from using the mouse. haa loving it! feeling like a STREET FIGHTER!

130819
deleting those who are DOA (dead on arrival, inactive) is the logical thing to do; they're just wasting facebook real-estate!

OMGWTFKBBQ she lost my precious DVD?! i'mma have to delete her then.

ANH: are you listening? i was NEVER interested in marie! i was into CHIME!
ROSA: but she had a boyfriend!
ANH: so what?!

those who frustrate you only test your patience; be the better person and deal with them in a civilized manner.

130821
INTERVIEWER: you're our forerunner; apart from what you can do, you are great with communication. we like that.
...
haa thanks for noticing! i was tired from not talking in high school!

humility i do have; i do often share my artwork, but i do not expect everyone to like it.

don't ever make the mistake of regarding your supervisors as friends... they shouldn't even be regarded as people! haa ugh...

130822
ANH: eww, check out that car! looks like uncle Don?'s, it needs a wash!
NEPHEW: no, uncle DON's car is worse; it has a flat tire, all its windows are broken, his license plate is cut in half... AND he stores gum in his hair!
...
BAHAHAA he doesn't even chew gum!

ANDREW ZIMMERN is always eating exotic and freaky food, but he never features delicious dog-meat dishes cuz his show would instantly go off the air.

"Character concept/Illustrationist [wanted]"
...
is that even a word?

do not shoot your mouth off around me; that will be posted on facebook... with your name on it.
...
NICOLE: I believe all of us learned the hard way when we first met you. Lol!!
ANH: nicole, you never shot your mouth off, but i put you on BLAST a few times for being ugly and whatever other reasons. haa LIKE!

once i find out a galpal is being bitchy to another, i usually sever ties with the ugly one; quite difficult when they both are.

Ms DAEBAK, how do i sync your newsfeed to MY wall cuz...
Nicole Says the Darndest Things! and "i don't wanna miss a thing..."

130824
SISTER: ethan, how much more will i have to spend on you?
ANH: till he's 14... when he moves out for college.

ANH: can you find your way home?
DON: yeah, i'll be fine. i have UPS nagivation.

ANH: yeah, i met you last time! you're SARVY's brother!
SALMAN: yes, SALMAN.
ANH: wait, "solomon"?
SALMAN: no, "salman".
ANH: "salmon"?

SARVY: omigod! i can't believe he farted before he left!
ANH: that was his parting gift. you didn't see the green cloud?

SOLTAN: oh, i'm sorry. is this your drink?
ANH: s'alright! you can have it!
SOLTAN: really? what's your name?
ANH: ANH... A-N-H.
SOLTAN: haa thanks, CHANG!

SARVY: is the fire turned off?
DON: what did she say?
ANH: she asked if there's anymore fire in your bedroom!
DON: ugh, it extinguished since my first born.

130826
the ones who haven't texted me their name are still figuring out their iphone.

130827
facebook is using our contents in ads?! oh noooes! BAHAHAA

here's a safety tip, don't post anything you'll regret... or make anh angry enough to post anything you'll regret, peaches!

don't ever take anyone back out of pity, it never pays off; they'll always have resentment for what's happened.

if you have to add soy sauce to anything, it's not done right; it's like having some restaurants add fish sauce to PHO! whattapho?!

only now do i discover about WEB THERAPY; Lisa Kudrow is HILARIOUS!

planning to watch PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2, 4, and 6 tonight.

i tend to gravitate towards younger "women", probably subconsciously getting back at my first love for screwing me over with an older man.

no, i will no longer confirm friend requests from doods... unless you have an ugly girlfriend.

130828
hey, i'm always up to helping the needy out, but when an assertive homeless person asks you for change, reply with:
"i'm sorry, do you have a quarter?"
...
that ALWAYS throws them off! BAHAHAA

never cared for strip clubs. why pay when you can get it for free? those girls emit as much human emotions as a toaster.

LATINAS >< KOREANS
...
dammit, what a dilemma!

OLIVIA: well, DON's only met me like 4 times. and so far, all i know is that he likes chocolate milk. haa
...
DON, the only dood i know who can get drunk off of HALF a wine cooler... SOFTCORE!

as long as i don't lay down, i won't fall asleep... cuz sleeping is for LOSERS! i'mma get rid of my bed...

KY: you don't SLEEP, man! what are you taking?!
ANH: it's called a late LATE shower. haa

unless they're performing human or animal sacrifices or mass suicides, no conflict with one religion would prompt me to sever ties with anyone.

130829
time is 1-4-3...

130830
peeps posting about the obvious sweltering weather like it's news.

NEWSFLASH! you can avoid your tedious trips to the gym by regularly eating right and work out at home. good health should be a lifestyle, not a trend.

130831
now, that's the truth... most peeps do look better at the club... where it's dark and where your judgment is undoubtedly clouded by alcohol!

ASPIE QUIZ question 110:
"Do you tend to say things that are considered socially inappropriate when you are tired, frustrated or when you act naturally? "
...
YES, often! naturally!

ASPIE QUIZ question 147:
"Are you easily distracted?"
...
wait, what was that?

a shame i only have a handful of genuinely smart friends. the rest are just... ugly.

ASPIE QUIZ question 4:
"Do you dislike being touched or hugged unless you're prepared or have asked for it?"
...
nooo, i welcome it! BEAR HUGS!

well, it turns out, i have BOTH Aspie and neurotypical traits! WOOHOO!

"at least 2-3 persons of every 1000 in the United States" have ASPERGER syndrome.

"an Aspie is interested primarily in significant contributions to conversation, preferring to avoid "small talk," trivial statements and superficial conversation."
...
yes, i do hate and avoid those meaningless small talks!

"You find joy yourself - the world doesn't just provide it for you. Find things you like to do and do them! Life is a job worth working. It may not always be fun, but it's the one you've been given. You've got to do the best with what you have. What you make of it is up to you. You can either sit around and be depressed, bemoaning the hand life dealt you or you can take what you've been given and work with it. Take control. Make your life what you want it to be."
...
ABSOLUTELY! to all you whiners, stop whining. BAHAHAA

no pungent tobacco odor tonight! did my smoking neighbor finally get evicted?