SKITS - FEBRUARY

120201
jenn: I looked at my news feed and saw all the posts were yours and thought I was on your page...I wasn't. Lol!
anh: haa I fool EVERYONE!
jenn: Lol, it makes my day go faster reading updates ^_^
anh: much less boring! haa
jenn: Now, if everyone posted like u then I would never be bored!
anh: aww at least, someone appreciates my hard work!
mike truong: I appreciate all your work Anh!!!! It helps my day go by better!!!
anh: omigod, I have more than one fan?

120202
anh: if you find goodies on your work desk, it's most likely me! that's how I keep friends cuz I don't have much of a personality. BAHAHA
david awesom: You never leave me shit. I'm gonna go kick your trash bin over into the printer that'll fall through the window and land on your bosses car that's gonna explode and light the side of the building on fire, setting your boss ablaze to run through the office where your boss lays on your desk and all your artworks explode.

?(playing DEAD RISING 2)
sister: wait, i have to fight?!
anh: that's why they call it a "survival game".
sister: it's stressful! so many people, it's like being back in hong kong!

120204
anh: where do you wanna go eat at this hour?
don: dunno... ALERTOS?
anh: no, i don't wanna sit there and get shot.
don: well, i've sat there several times, they missed.

anh: you know filipino natives, like rosa, love eating balut! that's too hardcore!
don: wait, that sounds familiar... isn't that a country?
anh: that's BEIRUT!

GIRLS' GENERATION "paradise in phuket": 6-disc (DVD + photobook)
...
"This product is temporarily out of stock"
...
FCUK!

120206
david cook: I lost interest in football when I lost my football mitt in elementary school. And the football my brother gave me when I was 10 years old got stuck in a tree when I hit it too hard with my football racquet. Anyway, I was terrible at the game. Every goal I tried to make was an airball. It's frustrating, especially when pros like Tiger Woods make it look so easy. Even though I didn't watch the game, I heard that New York won, but I'm not sure if that mean Mets or Yankees.

120207
i'mma stop jumping on the bandwagon and wish happy birthday just cuz facebook told me to. you know i love you!

120208
it's not that i post too much, it's cuz you peeps don't post enough!

making final selections of photos to upload... why is Ratha Marie Ngan sooo ugly?!

making final selections of photos to upload... can i take Nicole Tanner home?!

i still need to shower. ugh... someone's not sleeping much tonight! well, on the other hand, Don will sleep soundly since he NEVER showers!
...
fannie: ewww! STILL? how come you never invite him over to shower at your place!

TWITTER? whatta fcuk is that?

justine: how do your photos look so elegant?
anh: cuz i don't half-ass my work.

marie: which photos are u selecting to post?
anh: i select the ugly ones.

Ratha Marie Ngan's best angle is the back of her head.

who, in their right mind, would take a shower at midnight...?! this chap, right here!

karaokEddy Hao, you are one cool chap for driving David Cook back to his car! i would've just hailed a cab.

joyce: It's no longer facebook, it's anhsbook...

120210
why are you single? there must be something wrong with you.

why are you not married? there must be something wrong with you.

why aren't you having sextuplets? there must be something wrong with you.

when you have a feeling of deja-vu, it really only means that your mind is tired... or a glitch in THE MATRIX.

those peeps who are only cool when they're drunk should STAY DRUNK!

if you can't find me at INCHEONWON, you can find me in its parking lot... making out.

JEBUS! i'm having a JO SHOW MARATHON! Jocelyn Him can really talk!

friends don't let friends add Jocelyn Him if you don't want their phone to EXPLODE!

survey: how do you know your facebook friends?
anh: friends of friends of friends of friends.
...
e.g. Joyce Mojica

survey: How many of those friends do you know in person?
anh: 75%... i actually do meet with at least 50% from my list.

survey: which race should your girlfriend be?
anh: human.

survey: how tall should your girlfriend be?
anh: at least belt level.

here are the flaws from my previous girlfriends. you figure out who's who:
...
gold digger, drama queen, workaholic, lesbian, the devil.

120211
i'm really glad i met Ryan Grotsky! he is another awesome chap! or should i say... CUB! haa

EVERYBODY loves Ryan Grotsky! regardless of his ridiculous typos!
...
ryan: true story, bro.

Nicole Tanner... best one-person audience EVER! if we had more peeps like her, all sitcoms would be a HIT! laugh it off, peaches!

you know you've used too much hairspray when you cannot move your eyebrows.

to those peeps bothering to comment while drunk... you are AWESOME! haa

120212
jocelyn: you keep your car pretty clean for a guy!
anh: well, unlike don, you won't find any fish bone in here!

have to filter/edit/post today's photoshoot tonight?! aww... the things i would do for my uglies.

Jocelyn Him has been officially added to my UGLIES list. she gives INSANELY "breath-taking" bear-hugs like our notorious ugly monkey, Emily Cheng!

120213
well apparently, ryan, nobody can checkout your youtube links cuz we're WORKING!

to the mutual friends i just confirmed... i have no idea who you are. INTRODUCION, POR FAVOR!

david awesom: My name is David. Hi Anhole, nice to meet you!
anh: uh, i think you misspelled ASSHOLE!
jocelyn: did someone call me?

is it wrong for me just to LIKE someone's laughter? i enjoy "hearing" those sooo much! BAHAHAA

yeah, my galpals are just a tad younger than don's daughter.

anh: nonono, ethan (nephew)! you stay away from claire (don's daughter)! older women are BAD for you!
...
she's 10.

120214
jocelyn: why are you having me walk away from traffic?
anh: so i could push you through the restaurant window to avoid a swerving car.

?"you're still beautiful to me." EPIK HIGH
...
to the only ugly I have in mind right now. xoxo
...
jocelyn: which one in your list?
anh: this one!
jocelyn: [runs away]
anh: hey! slow down! my unmarked black van cannot go that fast!
jocelyn: [peddles even faster on tricycle] MUAHAHAA >:D
anh: what an asshole!

120215
chris sicam: ugh... I'm craving Korean BBQ
anh: ugh... i'm craving GIRLS' GENERATION

all filipinos and filipino impostors LOVE korean BBQs! yayYEAH!

all filipinos and filipino impostors LIKE my previous post! yayYEAH!

G.E.M. is truly a gem.

120216
jocelyn is actually not a cocky girl... she's an asshole.

120217
heather: sometimes, i wonder if you're a hamster on cocaine always running in its exercise wheel.

anh: wow, i'm pumping so many posts today! i'm on a roll!
joyce: haa when are you never on a roll?

anonymous: hey, are you still on facebook? i can't see you anymore!
anh: oh! were you following my posts? i didn't know you were active so i deleted you! sorry, i'll add you back!
...
to those GHOST STALKERS who never click on LIKE or comment... BAHAHAA

just took another midnight shower... someone's not sleeping tonight!

anh: i have a feeling i'm addicted to this social network. i get more done here than porn sites! what would i do without FACEBOOK?!
founder: FACEBOOK 2.0
anh: GENIUS!

kristian: so anh, what have you been up to?
anh: isn't my facebook wall practically a journal open to friends? haa

NO! i will not switch to that TIMELINE format! i rather go back to FRIENDSTER! wait, nevermind... not really.
...
crystal: GAH! I wanna switch back to the original format! >:I Its a choice you can't undo!
anh: yeah, i'd have an easier time undoing bras

120218
Don Vu...
"how did you get so dirty?! do you take the earth... and rub it upon your face?" | YOUR HIGHNESS

again... you miss an event, you may miss an opportunity to meet interesting people. i know this all too well; i met sausage lover, Joyce Mojica, this way. so get off your sofa and get out, peaches!

i feel a definite connection with Brent Bacheller. i got your back, ambiguously-korean white guy!

"olivia, your friend is a good photographer."
...
why, thank-you! tough work shootin' uglies!

Genieve Serafica
It's her birthday.
Say Happy Birthday
...
NOOO! what's the point? she's NEVER logged in!

120219
you come to an event, you assume they all know everyone except you; once you leave, they STILL don't know everyone except you. haa

chime: i'm at work right now ):
anh: aww you know you can always chat with me, geek. anytime of the day!
...
I AM FACEBOOK.

chime: thanks, anh. i miss those times where we go party, get drunk. haha oh my :')
anh: BAHAHAA you will get them back.
chime: haa i wish.
anh: your wish is my command! Don Vu's hair SHALL be shaved off!

omigod, some peeps can't even operate a simple point-and-shoot camera; let alone, even know where the shutter button is!

chris: Lol Anh, I didn't see u take this photo!
anh: if i were a sniper, that'd be pretty bad for you, huh?

Madeline Garcia and Chris Sicam are my official cheap dates. yayYEAH!

i'd still take better photos than you with a cheap disposable camera. best believe it!

next time someone asks me what i am, i'mma just let them guess and go with that; i usually get korean, japanese, or asshole.
...
marie: i would have gone with asshole. just my guess.
jocelyn: and i usually get ugly, asshole, or BOTH!

Ratha Marie Ngan Nguyen, are you ugly, pretty ugly, or both?

asian food > american food
...
ryan: true story, bro!

kit: Balut is one of my faves. :P
anh: HELL NOOO! i rather have dog meat in my pho!

you know you should be sleeping when you're chatting with one eye open.

120220
some peeps don't give you the option to UNFOLLOW their posts; it's like a shotgun wedding.

naomi: i can study n then see u guys at ur FINAL DESTINATION.
anh: nice way to end the night there, NAOMI! i don't want it to be the BANG BUS party... to HELL!

Don Vu: don't you ever get sick of INCHEONWON?
anh: don't you ever get sick of DISNEYLAND?
Emily Cheng: what kind of a question is that, DON?! FCUK NOOO! LET'S GOOO!
Fannie Hsieh: LET'S DO SOMEONE!

anh: (looks at sweat shirt) wow, you went there to?!
Lang Lac: yeah!
anh: seems like all the COOL people i know went to CSULB!
Rich Le: didn't Don Vu go there too?
anh: oh, nevermind.

DROID: 010101100 shouldn't you be hitting the sack, master?
anh: no, cuz sleeping is for LOSERS!

is there an auto-correct for auto-correct, ryan?

120224
some girls have more makeup than what Don Vu has to apply for his side-job as a clown.

BRANDON'S STATUS: we all are but ladies more vulnerable to these things that go bump and creek in the night they feel feed , touch and try to manipulate you through or in you;re dreams using you're feelings and bad energy, you can take notice if you focus and feel , learn to hear and sense but none should worry for there is. and we have because we are part of the greater good all mighty light of peace and love and everything more along with nothing more that ever there is or was
...
NOTE TO SELF: do not post while high.
BAHAHAA what the fcuk are you sayin'?!

Jenn Lee, i need you to post/comment again while drunk... complete with hieroglyphic $p3llin6. that one time when you hit the club already plastered was frakkin' hilarious!

120225
"is your hair a mop? go wash it!" | BIRDIE BUDDY (korean series)
...
BAHAHA Don Vu, they actually said this!

120226
i'mma be sober for 40 days.

120227
omigod, i have to stop confirming people i don't know... my friends list was at two digits just last week!

some peeps i never met add me just to see my photos. haa i don't think so! i don't invite you into my place just to browse through my family albums... DELETE DELETE

i gotta regulate friend requests. this is getting ridiculous! alright Don Vu, you're the next one to go!

and don't get me started with peeps who never log in... when they actually do, i ask myself, "who is this? who the fcuk is STEPH BOBS?!". they're just wasting valuable real estate.

MARIE NGAN only dates plastic surgeons. (that's one good looking nose!)

120229
Ryan Grotsky, how are you so smart at being so dumb?!
...
ryan: reverse psychology.
anh: alright then... how are you so dumb at being so smart?!

we definitely need to add Ryan Grotsky to the TEAM KRAZIES VIP list! that spelling-dud cub just cracks me up... effortlessly!

ryan: am two skool for cool! LOOL

i only read mangas and movie subtitles cuz actual books put me to sleep... and i also have immunity to caffeine. haa

CLAMS > SAUSAGES
...
Joyce Mojica/ Bert Cruz (JON): NOOOOOO!
marie: well, i have to agree on this one.
rosa: wait, whaaat? i don't get it.

leave it to my ingeniously dumb jokesters to distract me. i have photos to work on, peaches!

(while commenting)
emily: why did you tag me? i'm right here.
...
BAHAHAA good going, stephen!

remember guys... Fannie Hsieh is a hermit physics nerd, so she's "scurred" of everything! especially, Don Vu coming out of a shower with just a sock on.
...
don: LIES! everyone knows i don't shower!
fannie: you don't have to tell me twice, don. eww...

"Facebook Chat is currently unavailable."
...
well, that's my cue to sleep!

120201
I don't expect GIRLS' GENERATION to get more recognition here. americans are closed minded, and I don't wanna share them anyway! haa

jenn: dirty girls have more fun!
anh: omigod... I love you.
rosa: wait, whaaat? what do you mean by "dirty"?

uh oh, they're sending an HR up to work with us in our art department. I say she's a SPY! I better finish my sandwich fast!

my SKITS have quadrupled in size! thanks, david awesom, steph bobs, and whyan!

accidentally squirted soap all over, so it looks like I just jizzed on myself.

chime and nikko must be from the same top-secret agency... M.I.A.
...
*Mofos *In hiding from *Anh

rich: hey, look! my HTC smartphone is slimmer than your DROID! haa
...
then, he added a fat extended battery. BAHAHA

"you make me feel comfortable, anh"
...
haa i'm always surprised when I hear that!

bottom line is... you're comfortable with yourself, you'll make others comfortable. and both david cook and david awesom know that works wonders!

how is my dog so frakkin' buff? he doesn't even workout...! JEBUS!

120202
anh: I'm sorry, but I have to stay away from toilet humor. I'm not a fob.
fob: what da heo?! (flip-flops away in disgust chewing on his cancer stick while sipping on a heineken)

duh boss is considering having me teach a warehouse employee how to use photoshop at my level which took me years of work and experience to master? is he insane?! does he really think it's like teaching a monkey how to punch in numbers? hell noooo!

anh: I really work at the speed of 10 people. that's why duh boss thinks what I do is easy! ugh...
david awesom: wipe that cocaine off your nose, buddy! haa
anh: with coke, I'd be 10x faster!

your facebook wall is mine.

kyle: oooh... salad dressing!
anh: yeah, I love italian! I should date one.

brent: the french are rude, arrogant, and never bathe.
anh: hey! i'm not arrogant!

anh: hey, raf! where's your office partner?
raffy: oh, lilet went home to get her pack of cigarettes cuz I wouldn't share mine.
anh: isn't her place like an hour away?!
raffy: yes.
...
BAHAHAA sometimes, I give my dialogues to others.

no failed relationship is a waste of time; it's experience... unless it's 8-10 years! BAHAHA boooo!

if you find goodies on your work desk, it's most likely me! that's how I keep friends cuz I don't have much of a personality. BAHAHA

don: hey, guess what I saw! guess what I saw!
anh: what? your life flashing before your eyes?

don: dude, your mom is scary!
anh: haa ALPHA MOM!

don: I thought I was here to play video-games, but i'll only have time to watch you and your sister shower?!

don: (to some dude) how could you be homophobic? that's so ignorant. so... gay!
anh: yeah, he already feels uncomfortable having women touch him.

sister: do you have, uh, THE NOTEBOOK? that anime series?
anh: what? oh... DEATHNOTE!
don: ...

120203
mylene: what does this mean: iBook G4? I'm trying to open my comp but this is what's showing on the screen.
anh: get a PC.

jenn is having girls night with mike and anh! yayYEAH!

nhi: what a horrible week. I deserve a whole damn mess of glow-in-the-dark stars for this!
anh: haa one of my exes stuck a whole constellation above my bed without even asking for my permission!
nhi: cuz only satan wouldn't want stars above their bed.

don: I think you spend more time on Kpop than porn.
anh: damn, you're right!
don: so you're not as much of a pervert as I thought.
anh: nooo! I gotta maintain my french image!

I'm making an exception for my ambiguously-korean brother, brent, just this once; but please peeps, do not invite me to any more SAUSAGE FESTS!

I hate peaches; especially the ugly ones I hang out with.

galpal: I don't know how to keep certain people from seeing pics that I'm tagged in? I think it's in the HELP section.
anh: just delete those peeps. haa

I hate you, heather. you're so ugly.

120204
MICHAEL JACKSON has made KPOP possible. love the guy. he's the KING, peaches!

with other music videos, I have to watch them on mute; but when it comes to MICHAEL JACKSON's, my mom allows me to blast the volume! BAHAHAA

my nephew is attending MICHAEL JACKSON 101

why is there ALWAYS a stray sock?!

anh: look, don... i'mma get the xbox ready. while you're free, can you fold my panties for me?

anh: haa you're like captain kirk, the outdated version!
don: what? he's never outdated!
anh: yeah, he's dated.

(as waiter sets the pizzookie dessert down for anh and don to share)
waiter: (in a discreet tone) gaaaay...

some peeps I know I will never get to see again, or at all, and i'm totally fine with that cuz not everyone can be cast in my show!

gave my 10 year-old neighbor $5 for the $1 lemonade at her stand which i did not even bother to take. love her work ethic! she deserved it. I should've bought everything! haa

rosa: DISNEYLAND... the happiest place on earth!
anh: no, the happiest place on earth is in my pants.

SUPERBOWL PARTY... I don't get it. Zzzzzz... the only reason I'm here is brent; frakkin' white boy eye-candy.

this football game gives me a reason to actually catch up on porn.

anh: i tend to socialize with peeps like david cook and hai nghe who don't give a sh*t about football.
don: wait, your favorite ugly monkey, emily, watches football!
anh: who's emily?

120206
wow, I find so many uses for electrical tapes; not just for S&M!

brent: thank-you for taking care of my guests. you are a good host!
anh: I take care of others' party guests while I'm still sober to do so. haa

lemme rub it in your faces... i'm loving my monday!

I rarely say hi to duh boss cuz I never know his mood. no frakkin' ass kissing here either.

you cannot spell TEAM without ME! haa waittaminit...

can I go home to shop online? we're blocked from AMAZON at work.

anh: what's up with the cheap rolls of paper towels?! the paper is thinner than tissues!
coworker: yeah, they use 'em as tampons.
anh: yeah, this cheap paper does not absorb water; water absorbs IT!

sorry, I just burped; that wasn't lady-like.

why does jenn have to be ugly AND korean?!

don: hey, how do you say JERK in french?
anh: JACQUES.

anh: hey, boob! I need you to jumpstart my car!
don: uh... sorry, I really have to go now!
(anh punctures don's shoes with a pocket knife before he can run. like tires, they quickly deflate. don's speed drastically decreases, yet he keeps struggling to slowly get away)
anh: going... SOMEWHERE?! MUAHAHAA
...
BAHAHA now, why would you have inflatable shoes?!

120207
friends, please do not send me anymore facebook game request; I have an XBOX for crying out loud!

don, your wife is fugly, but that doesn't make her a bad person. wait, she's in my friends list, huh? haa
...
fujie + ugly = fugly

ANH & RYAN... certified facebook wall crashers.

ugly viet marie's wall went kaBOOOOM!

I often say thank-you to the person who's supposed to thank me. whaaat? i'm sure i'm not the only one.

galpal: aww I missed you, anh.
anh: haa thanks, I have that effect on people.

"take take, but you never give" BRUNO MARS
...
good riddance, kitty.

whatever happens in vegas... ends up on anh's wall.

galpal: You are good at a lot of things.
anh: I never knew I'd have this many talents.

that BANG BUS event should be interesting.
...
rosa: what's "banging"?
marie: ...

don is right; I shouldn't discriminate and hang out with boring squares like RICH too.

anh: if they use you for money, use them for sex.
don: isn't that prostitution?
anh: oooh... you might be onto something here.

anh: i'm glad I have a galpal who doesn't bring sausages to every event!
abby: just eggs. LOL

120208
they should stop hiring. too many peeps on the road!

to anyone who's ever owned or still owns a hummer, whatta hell were you thinking?! BAHAHA not everything big is better! ask don about his double-patty burger wallet! hoarding receipts and coupons he's NEVER use!

jong: anh, are you familiar with that color?
anh: which one? they might carry that marker at the art store.
jong: CLITORIS RED.
anh: now, why are you getting me excited?!

you know you have a problem when the usual text you get from them that makes you happy says, "who's this?! if you don't stop, i'mma call the police!".

my best friend told me that ugly jenn is pretty... I don't get it.

kyle: OW! my hair got caught in my zipper!
anh: well, trim it.
kyle: nooo! not my pubic hair!

galpal: why are you so distant with me, anh?
anh: eating...
galpal: you don't need your mouth to text.
anh: no, I text with my mouth.

JOSE CUERVO chocolate tequilas... drinking and working? shhh! it's a sequet!
...
marie: I want some!
anh: that's what she said!

don: did you have feelings for joy?
anh: well, she grew on me.
don: what about manda?
anh: yes, only cuz she was my first.
don: oh, so you ARE capable of LOVE!
...
BAHAHA like I'm made of stone!

marie: are the photos posted online yet?
...
right after I shot her. haa really now, ugly viet? REALLY?!

did I just frakkin' crash facebook with my photo uploads? it hasn't budged!

anh: marie's best angle is the back of her head.
marie: hey, I happen to like that angle!
anh: I like that angle in bed too.
marie: gutter head.
rosa: wait, what? who's giving head?!

120209
MORNIN', PEACHES! feelin' awesome-- no... david AWESOM! blasting SNSD in da car!

HAA is a little long... i'mma shorten it to BAHAHAA ROFLCOPTER!

hey! that looks like my exe's corolla! i'mma go puncture its tires. hope it's the right one.

why am I confirming strangers' requests? oh well, they'll delete me once I invade their wall.
...
anthony: puncture them all just to be sure.

anh: don would come out of the shower and cover his manboobs.
jenn: ..and let his junk hang free? O__o
anh: eww nooo! there's a sock for that.

yes, I know 2NE1 is one awesome badass kpop band, but like many peeps, I've fallen under the spell of those charming girls of SNSD!

my mom always mixes the names CHIME and KITTY together. haa what? she would pronounce CHIME like JIMMY. BAHAHA

calvin: do you know a lot of people?
anh: well, uh... ask INCHEONWON. I believe so. haa

120210
you mean, there's an upside to having guy friends too? i'll consider that.

jocelyn: you seem to have a lot of ugly girls. are you a pimp?
...
BAHAHA good question, ugly!

david awesom: where do you live anyway? we just think you live at INCHEONWON kbbq!
anh: BAHAHA word.
david: I think I saw a toothbrush in the men's restroom last time!
anh: and peeps keep using my towels. fcuk!

supervisor: can you only play english music for our mexican coworkers?
anh: that's against my religion.

jocelyn: I wanna go swimming today! who wants to come with me?
anh: hey, would love to, but I'm working for facebook.
jocelyn: LOL no really, do you?

david and steph have stolen my ugly girls. i'm stealing theirs, peaches!

american mainstream music... on the radio! yes, for those who only care for american food; it's like having chicken everyday. bleh...

anh: kyle, come down for some hawaiian if you want!
jong: I like mexican. hehe
anh: me too! haa

haa yes, everybody loves don regardless of his hygiene!

jocelyn said she wanted to go swimming, yet she went ahead with a shower. why, girlie? WHY?!

I have a 30 GB hard drive for 100's of albums in my car; why would I wanna listen to repetitive crappy radio?

my mexican coworker left me these yummy mochi coconut rice cakes! whaaat? I wonder if he could roll sushi too.

damnit, jocelyn is pregnant! I missed her by a few months!

everyone left the office with just me doing overtime... time to pump up some jams and PARTY NAKED!

anh: friends tell me i'm only an asshole online.
jocelyn: friends tell me i'm an asshole all the time.

I would let my nephew pick out a girl for me, but he likes every girl! perhaps my dog is better at it; he chewed up my last girl's flip-flops. haa that should've been a red flag!

120211
sorry if I hardly get to your posts! i'm swamped with answering my own!

I shoot like 95% of the photos; sometimes you don't even see me in some events cuz I forget to include myself.

girl: what's wrong with your phone?!
guy: your number is not in it!

120213
jose: BAHAHAA!
anh: monday isn't funny, jose!
jose: oh, sorry you're right.

valentine's day is also another excuse for slackers to do/give something for their significant other.

j'peux utiliser mon language d'enfance avec elle defois. j'suis heureux.

anh: heather's still ugly
david awesom: APOLOGIZE!
anh: i'm sorry that heather's still ugly.

Like + Unlike = DISLIKE

anh: is it that hard to comprehend? JEBUS!
david: that's not you spell JESUS!
anh: oh, i'm sorry... heyZEUS!

jocelyn: where are all your other uglies?
anh: in my list and kpop bands.

I have a flair for making peeps feel comfortable; definitely not complaining.

yes, I do enjoy roaches of the sea once in a while; it's not dog meat all the time!

I dunno which part i'm eating, but this lobster is DAVID aweSOM!

jocelyn: eww...
anh: looking into the mirror again?
jocelyn: no, I haven't fixed the last one that shattered yet.

120214
don't use others' words without quoting them, that's cheap; in my case, I give others my words whether or not they said it! haa
...
yuri: fcuk yeah! best believe it!

to all the irresistable uglies... your phone will go kaBOOOM today!

I'm surprised that guys still ask me for advice; my best tip is just to tell that girl how ugly she is.

tell her you really really like her.
...
NIKE says, "just frakkin' do it, boob!"

HAPPY CUPID'S from GIRLS' GENERATION, peaches!

"your relationship is bullsh*t. your man is a prick." DIDDY
...
you know who you are, girlie. i'll always have your back.

anh: it's a MAYBE k? will let you know cuz I might go to BIG BEAR.
galpal: don't go :(
anh: yeah, I might move there. haa

anh: heyheyhey! I know you don't get much love from your wife, but why is your hand in my pants?!
don: your pocket has a hole!

supervisor: management wants you only to play english music. and we can hear you guys laughing from all the way downstairs.
anh: whatta fcuk?! do we have to laugh in english too?
jong: JAJAJAA!

unknown: (answering machine) anh? anh, are you there?
anh: hey, who was that? she sounded hot!
mom: the credit card company.

i'm sure I forgot to text at least one ugly for valentine's.

i'm a PRIVATE person, damnit! wait, is facebook ON?!

omigod, they're forcing me to hit a drinking lounge on a tuesday! I'm frakkin' tired! can we hit a dance club instead?!

i'mma take an hour nap before I can even go out; so please, forward any message to my secretary... DROID.

well, what do you know? I couldn't nap a wink cuz of that dorky girl! ugh...

galpal: I need to pee!
...
the first thing a woman says when coming out of a car no matter how short the ride.

rosa: I never had SEX ON THE BEACH before!

120215
frak. forgot to bring those chocolate tequilas to my girls night out!

heather's boy should marry her already. that ugly is smart and frakkin' hilarious!

the one thing that separates me from him is that I actually respect women. hate me.

don't preach me about god. I don't even believe in the devil.

I AM NUMBER 333

you guys can talk freely about khai; he's been blocked. if anyone tells on you, i'll block them too! haa

there are two kinds of assholes... the one I work for, and the one I enjoy in the bedroom.

anh's status is UNHACKABLE. if it sounds outrageous, he most likely posted it himself!

feeling good! got an awesome galpal and got rid of a pretentious douche!

don't preach me about god. I don't even believe in the devil.
...
nhi: how can you not believe in yourself?

it's a guetto bus when you still have to use your umbrella inside.

LEGSMEN: anh, don, david, stephen... "yes, we're out there!"

"are you ready for some dude or are you ready to be subdued?" JASON MRAZ
...
haa jason, you are a genius at wordplays!

everytime ugly jocelyn saw a PRIUS, she would hit me! you know how many of those dorky cars are out there?! good one, smartsicle!

120216
some peeps have their birthday every week. it's a conspiracy!

she wants to go there, but I really don't. I have someone else in mind... it's not don!

galpal: I just wanna watch a movie with you!
anh: get it on AMAZON.

it's like having an obsessed fan who doesn't know their boundary.
...
david awesom: [screams with high-pitched female voice] AAAAAAH! I LOVE YOU, SON DAMBI!
dambi: oh... god.

anh: duh boss ruins the mood everytime he comes up.
jong: I don't even look at him.
anh: I forgot what he looked like.

this wedding song is heartbreaking... you can feel the sadness in her voice... GEM, I love you.

I switched to earphones so I can rape this song in the office.

some songs are just asking to be raped.

gotta work on my smile. holding a fake one is tiring!

what is up with some peeps' punctuality? you tell them to be at X o'clock, but that's when they leave! whatta fcuk?! value others' time, please!

once a restaurant takes their customers for granted, it's ADIOS MOTHERFOCKERS! and... back to INCHEONWON!

120217
i'll just give my lee's coffee away to make someone at work happy today. then I can sleep. haa

is it friday yet? oh, it is... is it friday night with my peaches yet?

I swear, I can't find a phone fast enough for my facebook posts.

I use the word "boob" cuz "bro" is too long.

the perfect girl doesn't have to be pretty... no, she has to be pretty AND make me laugh.

NOTE TO SELF: do not drink the unknown liquid inside the 8-ball.

"omigod! how do you do that? is that black magic?!"
...
haa the usual reaction I get whenever they see me SWYPE.

jocelyn: some people just have nothing better to do than get angry at others cuz their life sucks... they drink too much HATERADE.

david: you always prefer that creamy stuff in your mouth.
anh: haa like ryan.
ryan: what is wrong with nectar from the gods?

anh: she's on that ghetto bus.
jocelyn: haa who?
anh: that ugly sheep girl, the only asshole I can stand... YOU!

kyle: I cannot draw the same thing again. only when i'm inspired.
anh: yeah, it just comes out when it wants.
kyle: yeah!
anh: like pre-cum.

coworker: weird, my meal is not hot enough.
anh: like all of your exes?

kyle: how come I can't connect to 4G?
anh: dunno. I never had problems finding G-spots.
...
I hate this girl.

kyle: I can imagine you ending up with a korean girl!
anh: haa or one who looks korean!

abby: I cannot be the stereotypical filipino nurse.
anh: yes, you faint at the sight of blood or raspberry wine.

120218
anh: you know, you're the only ex who's mature enough to still talk to me? i appreciate it.
tena: our time as friends was much longer and lots valuable. =D

home alone... I should set up some boobie traps.

watching a bad film more than halfway through is like bad sex... you might as well finish.

120219
marcus: so you love everything korean?
anh: yeah, just about anything. do you know kpop?
marcus: no, what's kpop?
...
DELETE... BAHAHA

chris and brent... I met those two awesome mofos at a random event where I didn't even know anyone. yeah, i'm a party crasher!

anh: hey, what's your drink? is it alcoholic?
madeline: no, i'm 18.
...
haa that never stopped emily!

evil wizard: get away from my virgin!
thadeous: that's not your virgin! that's my brother's virgin! if you wanna fcuk her... you have to fcuk me!
...
YOUR HIGHNESS

don't have so much pride in your own culture cuz there is beauty in others too... unless you're korean; that's the supreme race. BAHAHA

olivia: with all the money you spend at INCHEONWON, you should save it and open your own.
anh: haa GENIUS! i'm posting...

I avoid lazy-ass princesses like the plague. all of my galpals work!

BAHAHA "AMERICAN DAD" is hilarious! such edgy humor; right down my alley!

madeline: You're like a mix of different things. You're fancy, but you're funny and know how to make jokes.
...
thanks a million, girlie!

many depend too much on their exterior and have zero personality; some have neither. haa

anh: hurry! i'm chatting with one eye open!
marie: haa i'm typing with one finger.
anh: what are you doing with the other one?!

frak. no one to wake me in case I over sleep... can one of you girls POKE me in the morning?

120220
marie likes to disagree to gain a wider base of haters.
...
anh: clubbing baby seals is so frakkin' wrong!
marie: I disagree.

jenn: feels like I'm the only one who has to work today.
anh: working is for LOSERS! i'm doing overtime...
jenn: aww i'm not getting overtime today.
anh: i'll give jenn bear hugs!
jenn: YAY! does it come with a teddy bear too?!
anh: it's pretty much me in a bear suit. haa

i'm kinda keeping my distance with this one galpal cuz I really don't wanna mislead her. if I have feelings for you, you'll know... yet again, I enjoy the company of women.

GIRLS' NIGHT OUT, peaches!
...
stephen: is that a new kpop band?!
david: holy fcuk... more leggy hotties?!

I like my galpals ugly and my guyfriends goofy. make me laugh with cleverness and you're in my VIP list.

un-punctual people tend to be un-punctual with answering their phone/texts/messages too?! whatta...

jenn: INCHEONWON? count me in!
anh: jenn is coming! i'm excited!
jenn: YAY! I like coming too! pun intended.
...
BAHAHA haven't laughed this hard since don found out his wife was pregnant... for the 4th time!

RYAN Says the Dumbest Things!
...
coming to a facebook status near you...
ryan: OPPS LOOL stupid auto-correct!

that dreaded corner wall at the table. why is it even there?! if I owned a restaurant, there won't be any wall!

wow, this korean waitress is so tall. I wanna climb her.

anh: kids say the darndest things!
amanda: so does anh.

you get tired; rub your eyes; and wonder where your contacts went.

120221
jocelyn has more personality in her little finger than most girls do. SHARE!

jocelyn: I'm not interesting. lol I'm just hyper.
anh: you're not pretty either, you're ugly.

jocelyn: I hate clowns.
anh: you must hate your own reflection.

I enjoyed playing "crouching monkey, hidden dragon" with my ex.

to those who keep getting lost, buy yourself a frakkin' GPS and USE IT! they're under $100 for crying out loud!

"i then add my special sauce, which is basically bacon fat with vinegar, into my bacon sandwich." | EAT STREET
...
are you frakkin' kidding me?!

let's substitute everything with bacon!
...
crystal: no, need variety!
anh: no, let's have chicken everyday and only date our own kind!

duh boss: "our countries most populous state..."
kyle: it's actually "country's" not "countries".
duh boss: oh no, you can use it either way.

120222
no cursing for 40 days? that's fucking religulous!

ryan: LOOL damb auto codec!
...
BAHAHA I'm still laughing over that! whyan, you RULE!

anh: BAHAHA his comment is so stupid!
kyle: jeeh, I guess you have a life in that phone. nobody ever texts me...

sleepiness is keeping me from facebooking!

jenn: Make a game out of it... see who can shove a whole banana in their mouth-- I meant, who can peel a banana with their feet >=D
anh: I just jizzed! what is wrong with you?!

anh: it's 5pm! have a great drive home!
(5 minutes later)
jenn: Thanks :) im home now ^_^
anh: I hate you.
...
is that even considered a commute?!

i'm so tired of sitting at my desk. can I just squat on my chair like a fob?

madeline: you're very social. you talk to people like they're old friends.
...
oftentimes, I greet new faces with bear hugs and they think i'm already drunk! haa

I usually don't ask for my friends' age; but if they're girls, I do. haa those legal issues!

120223
wasn't late afterall! had to trigger the nitro boost to beat this one driver who won't lemme merge, and clocked in with seconds to spare! MUAHAHAA

ranay: I had this little coconut tree that grew really BIG coconuts!
anh: oh wow! my tiny ex girlfriend grew ginormous ones too! how is that possible?!

roberto: you know any chinese massage places? I wanna be massaged by an asian woman. hehe
anh: oh, you mean those "special" thai frontal massages!

I have music artists I didn't even know I had... like CAKE; is that a white band or an actual cake?

just gave my gay coworker a wholesome bear hug; and he smells so much better than don! pays off to use deodorants and good colognes!

don: isn't it what's inside that counts? looks isn't that important.
don's sister: that's what ugly people say.
yuri (SNSD): psh! yeah, fcuk that!

I have a lower tolerance for boring people now. why should I be bored when I can ROFLCOPTER?

david awesom, I would totally date you if I were gay like stephen. it's their frakkin' loss!

anh: dunno why, my voice is a little scruffy today.
kyle: like your goatie?
anh: it's not a goatie, it's a van dyke.
kyle: as opposed to a real dyke?

(microwaving eggs)
anh: don't explode, don't explode. I don't wanna clean up!
kyle: that's what she said.
jon: PENIS!
joyce: WHERE?!

PHOTOSHOP | I can make an ugly girl even uglier.

"anh gets a new batch of eggs every month."
...
BAHAHA word.

omigod, some peeps are still confused! why would I add some of my galpals in my UGLIES list if they weren't ugly?

120224
I told this one date once, "i think you'd look fine without the makeup", and she got all offended like someone has just pulled her tampon out from underneath the table. whaaat?

"friend" I just confirmed: do I know you?
anh: no, you requested me.
...
haa it's like returning a call and being asked, "what do you want?"

anh: you need some coffee.
jenn: mmm I do need "some" :O
joyce: omigod, don't get me going, jenn.
fannie: let's do someone!

many cannot differentiate koreans from japanese. LAME! ...or cambodians from filipinos. BAHAHA ...or don from an unkept mexican woman.

I don't care where my girls are from; as long as they're ugly, that's all that matters, peaches!

don is often confused for an unkept mexican woman.

don: anh, if you were a woman, I would've married you already.
...
aww BROMANCE! xoxo

posting. from work. with. one eye... open!

120225
can someone give me directions to INCHEONWON? BAHAHA

mike: Hey... easier for me to text u now since I'm tasting everyone.
mike: *texting
ryan: LOOL stupid auto codec!

120226
why is there a frakkin' tiger in my bathroom?!

what? it's impossible to give yourself CPR?

"i just took a sh*t in the middle of the street [in my wedding dress]"
...
BRIDESMAIDS is frakkin' hilarious!

annie: what kind of a name is STOVE?
flight attendant: my name is STEVE.
annie: what are you? an appliance?
flight attendant: no, i'm a man.
annie: whatever.
...
BRIDESMAIDS

anh: I feel like a gay guyfriend listening to you. do I make girls that comfortable?
madeline: YES! I like that though. You're good at listening. Now you just need to be gay.

120227
it's not a genuine kickass party until people get naked!

seriously, my 5G phone is not fast enough for the various tasks I use it for... simultaneously!

leave it to anh to make awkward people even more awkward!

don: if you stop drinking, no one's gonna want to hang with you anymore, focker! especially, david cook... ASS!
anh: is that so? and why is your ass MIA, clown?! nobody is really following your NON-ASS trend, you know?

korean bbq beef ribs, bbq chicken, and bacon mashed potatoes! yes, I do eat semi white food sometimes.

break our very own bartender-buddy STEPHEN ROBERTS open, and small bottles of absinthe will spill out.

HEATHER UYAN makes for a great galpal; she's considerate, selfless... I don't think there's a bad bone in that ugly girl's body!

duh white boss is in dire need to take ESL; his english is subhuman.

120229
a kid on his skateboard on his cell phone. that's so dumb... where's his smartphone?

what? you can only have your birthday every leap year? like that's gonna stop anybody; some peeps celebrate their day every week!

i know my sister's friend better than she does... the power of mingling without the small talks.

nicole tanner is those peeps who work on their laptop... on the beach... on their VACATION! REALLY?!

michelle wu: this place is good! we have to come here more often!
anh: wow, you haven't been here [INCHEONWON] more than 15 minutes, but you already know it's good?
michelle wu: of course!
...
daniel, your kbbq restaurant is AWESOME!

correction... INCHEONWON is not just awesome, it's DAVID AWESOM!

latina: I've never enjoyed burritos, only springrolls. Why is that?
anh: ...

marie: this one guy keeps asking me about my work. what should I tell him?
anh: tell him you night-shift as a ninja.

SWYPING kicks ass! typing is for high schoolers.