SKITS - AUGUST

110802
have a cold? down a bottle of SOJU! works for me and Emily Cheng

110803
is it alright for me to delete your friend since they're boring?

Tenzin Seldon: LOOOOOL looks like me and emily are arguing or something
Anhjun Lozfen: that's right! emily doesn't take BS from anyone!
Tenzin Seldon: BS?
David Cook: He means B5 as in Vitamin B5, or "Pantothenic Acid". Anh is saying Emily doesn't take Vitamin B5 from anyone because Pantothenic Acid deficiency is very rare in humans.
Anhjun Lozfen: BAHAHAA yeah, that's right... B5!

110811
"i lost my contacts. please, text me your number!"
...
how can you see my number without your contacts?

110813
SMARTASS > DUMBASS

Crystal Mira: what is on my mind is...sleep
Anhjun Lozfen: you know what's on my mind! hehe
Crystal Mira: lol yeaa like most guys
Anhjun Lozfen: BEEF BRISKETS! what were you thinking, woman?!
Crystal Mira: LoL its one [food] or the other lol
Anhjun Lozfen: oh, and i enjoy sex too

i get mistaken for korean or japanese. whatta pho?! LOVE IT! however, if peeps guess my true ethnicity, i get offended. BAHAHAA

i only know one mongolian... Saruul Sam Purevkhuu. and he too looks korean! whaaat?

my fair skin is so sensitive, i get tanned by just being exposed to halogen light

year-round tan uglies: Fannie Hsieh, Tenzin Seldon, Joyce Mojica, Olivia Le, and-- DAMN! i know i'm missing someone!

110815
sorry if i missed your status posts! i'm way too busy checking mines

mom: go take a shower after this show
anh: NO! cuz, like Don Vu, REAL men don't take showers!

110816
so far, the people i've blocked haven't sent me any facebook messages to complain

all of these monkey girls are getting outta hand! where did you uglies all come from?!

galpal: which one is he in the picture? the fat guy?
anh: no, the little girl

don: i think i saw harry potter at the COMIC-CON!
anh: no, that was Kelley Nagano with glasses

those of you with 1000 friends, time to UNFRIEND

110817
i'm sorry for assuming some of you american asians couldn't speak much english. my ignorant white side is mostly to blame

leave it to a monkey girl to want to drink smack in the middle of the week (emily: LET'S GOOOOO!)

sandy: The Lake ate my phone soooo I need your number again
anh: sure, it's... 714-555-NOOO

i told her the truth. she couldn't take it. her head blew up

anh is france. david is sweden. kitty is germany

anh: she won't even admit that we were together! whaaat? so what's with the breakups then?
chime: that bitch is dumb!

110818
jennifer le: what is her boyfriend?
jon dela cruz: cambodian
jennifer le: noooo! cambodian, no good!

110819
FACEBOOK:
...
Are They Your Friends Too?

Anhjun Lozfen
4 mutual friends
...
NOOOO! IMPOSTOR!

yayYEAH! YEEHAAA! ROFLCOPTER!

FACEBOOK:
...
"Here are 9 other people you may also know"
...
no, thank-you. i don't care for people

too. many. uglies. must. RESIST!

WONGFU productions is seriously FUNNY!

110822
HUNGWEEEE! must. have. BRISKETS!

i have plenty of friends fatter than Don Vu, but i just enjoy making him suffer. MUAHAHAA

NEW RESTAURANT SLOGAN:
...
INCHEONWON! cuz no other place matters, PEACHES!

BREAKING NEWS: ANHJUN LOZFEN is the SECRET restaurant promoter for... INCHEONWON!

did i fail to mention that... I FRAKKIN' WANT BRISKETS?!

korean BBQ 4 times a month is NOT ENOUGH! the WHORROR, the WHORROR!

i'm HONOR ROLE! someone... STOP ME! (must be hunger)

type O's reelly bothar mi... REELLY

110825
don't fcuk with me or i'll send my army of MONKEY GIRLS after you!

110826
chime practically had almost 2 pitchers of yogurt SOJU for herself. a few of our own shots mysteriously disappeared! whaaat?!
anh: hey! where the fcuk did my drink go?!
jon: haa chime drank it!
since she gets so much publicity on my wall, even total strangers want to meet Emily Cheng! on the other hand, Don Vu, not so much
chime doesn't look it, but she's so heavy! we all had trouble holding her up! what is she made of? STEEL? dense like a kryptonian! she must be bullet-proof too! whaaat?!

110827
half of the CAPTCHA codes are harder to read than hieroglyphs

they say that guys use kids to get girls... my girls ARE KIDS!

how to get rid of chronic complainers:
...
"When he or she shows up, simply tune your radio to one of the 'offensive' HIP-HOP stations, and they will eventually leave"

i can tell you're quite new to DSLR cameras. your lens cap is still on

110828
if you have any complaint, talk to someone else. i have a very short attention span. SOJUUU!

i was sweating while taking a cold shower. it's that hot!

LEE'S COFFEE > MONSTER > RED BULL

chime: what was i saying when i was drunk?
anh: "dsklafjhklf akl j kdsjda klfjsasafk djhs!"

jon > don > chocolate chip cookies

110829
oatmeal raisin cookies > David Cook

white surfer: [splashes his whole cup of lee's coffee onto a visitor's shirt from LA]
welcome to the OC, BITCH!

PHO is the ultimate dish, PHOsho!

here's how an ignoranus pronounces NGUYEN... "NUGENT". whatta pho?!
everybody knows it's pronounced "NUGGET"!

when i get enough funds, you're damn right i'mma hit south korea's party scene with Yongsuk Moon and get locked up abroad for kidnapping attempt on SONG JIEUN!

i'mma hit the shower now. if anyone needs me, my phone is not water-proof! (i found out the hard way)

they need to come up with a water-proofing app for smartphones

now, how are some people able to block you from blocking them?! did they sign up for a VIP account or what?

(Joyce Mojica + SOJU + beef intestines) > (Don Vu + his bruce lee action figures)

alright, it happened again. i spammed my own wall! sue me

don't go asking for other people's opinion; only mine counts

all of my exes kinda suck, except for one; she...

110831
Tenzin Seldon: ?Tenzin Seldon
?& truth is you are like my best friend, i never thought that we would be hanging out alot. but i alway have fun with you. may be that soju did work ;) and thanks for being there for me all the time (:

why do i have to care about how others feel? this is not good for my image!

Danisha Nicole is like, what, 6'02"? yet, she still wears 5-inch heels! women and their shoes, i swear!

Don Vu is 10 weeks in and craving meatballs

110802
gave maria a bear hug and kicked mylene's coffee mug off her hand! why? cuz I can, peaches!

can I leave work to find work now?

110804
you can't delete family members cuz there're no "disown" option

I eat my lunches in the company restroom cuz I like my privacy

110808
"friends don't let friends talk to exes while drunk" | TABLE FOR THREE

110809
since Rich Le left this sinking company, we can talk $#@% about him! YEAH! wait... we already were!

terrible handwriting. there could only be three suspects:
...
a doctor, don, or... RICH!

110810
"do people do dumb things with their smartphones?" | GEICO

FRIEND CRUSH: when you wanna become friends with someone you don't really know
...
what about a fubu crush?

110811
frakkin' boss micro manages everything! he said he caught us goofing off? we're not goofin' off--we're SLEEPING!

TIP: ignore your boss' friend request

focker snuck up on us again! someone, please, stick a beacon up the boss' ass so we can hear him coming!

hoyt: you want me to give you something funny to laugh about?
bartleby: you mean funnier than your future alcohol abuse?
glen: BATTLE ROYALE!
...
ACCEPTED

I hate you more than crawfish

wouldn't it be over the top if duh boss snuck up on you during lunch to see if you're eating?

"what are you doing taking phone calls during working hours?! go back to your masturbation station!"

if I'm not thinking about sex, I'm thinking about korean bbq

ariel: I think that customer wanted to checkout our products upstairs!
lucy: really? why didn't he say anything?
anh: well, run after him, lucy! throw a shoe!

galpal: can you do me a favor?
anh: is it sexual?

shreeeepy... must. make it. to. the car...

110813
"dad, you're fcuking my ex girlfriend?!"
...
NO STRINGS ATTACHED

110814
"are you guys sure APPLEBEE'S is a nice place to meet hot women at?"
"what are you thinking? OLIVE GARDEN?"
...
HALL PASS

freddy: what game do you wanna play?
nancy: fcuk you!
freddy: oooh... sounds like fun.
...
NIGHTMARE ON ELM ST.

110815
here, have some wine with your meal. capri sun is kid's stuff!
...
to my 5 year old nephew

110816
our EVIL boss drives a white nissan murano. i'mma apply next door. the other boss owns a black one, he must be the GOOD guy!

I knew exactly where her G spot is before she did. virgins crack me up

don: yumi said that it'll be like a barbecue potluck party so you'll have to bring your own meat
anh: in that case, I'll bring my girls!

110818
lacking sleep... crystal kept me up all night!

110817
they need to cancel the american version of TOP GEAR cuz the british version is actually funny... and I enjoy driving on the wrong side of the road

a sure fire way to rid of fleas? have your pet put to sleep. worked for me

I've made INCHEONWON KBBQ famous. as well as VAL, our company car retailer. now, who else needs help?

you peeps ever liked songs you thought were good, but aren't that good? and what about those that are good at first, but, unlike my exes, never went bad?

wsyhpjbfdjkhc fh jvfhj FCUK I can't post while driving!

chime: Damit. U just cracked me up. I'm referring about ur status. LOOL
anh: mission accomplished

I need a MONSTER with redbull mixed with a double shot of viet coffee, please!

110818
chime: haven't you taken pills and watched those lights--like at RAVES?
jon: no, I get seizures
chime: what? you're dumb!

110822
"where did you learn to drive like that?!"
"GRAND THEFT AUTO"
...
THE OTHER GUYS

(to my nephew)
stop crying! you're not supposed to be scared of anything. you're a MAN, boy!

anh: here, watch "how to train your dragon"
nephew: I don't think dragons are real
anh: neither is the tooth fairy nor santa claus!

I swyped FANNIE and FAVORITE came out. WEIRD!

110823
kyle: omigod! i'm late for work! why didn't you wake me up?!
rich: why can't you wipe your own ass?

she's so loveable, I hate her

what's with the homophobia, you fool? just cuz he's gay, doesn't mean he'd want your body! they have types too, you know? not even WOMEN want you!

deleting my twitter account is like dropping the other woman, I don't need the extra work-- just the one i'm most compatible with

time for change, monkey girl! NIKE says, "just do it"

"don't leave! I stabbed you, but I didn't twist the knife!"

triple digit HOT! fcuk you, mother nature!

chris: someone thought I was 18. being short and not able to grow chest hair has its pros
anh: my galpals are 18 and can't grow chest hair either

110824
Fannie Hsieh might be my favorite, but Emily Cheng, you are the SHITSU!

uh oh, too many SHITSUs... I should narrow them down to just my favorite five. Don Vu has to go!

maria: what happened to sarvy? I don't see her anymore
anh: dunno. last I heard, she went sky diving

the difference between her and my lousy ex is like night and day-- like WHOA!

anh: she was the worst damn girl
chime (girl): FCUK BITCHES, get money!

anh: Pooneh Salehi prefers to mingle with ethnic groups
crystal: cool!
anh: I prefer white people like Jake Woodruff and Don Vu

my galpal, chime, told me to fcuk bitches and get their money. I'll take that into consideration

wait. i'm not supposed to finish that bottle of wine in one sitting?

110825
raffy: if you can find a girl whom you would spend as much time on as you do with your car, she'd be happy
anh: haa she really would be!

kyle spilled his large smoothie all over his pants. so now, he's prancing around at work in a towel. woohoo!

23 hours 59 minutes 59 seconds more!
...
hate it when people post vague countdowns

some girls need to come with the EASY button

some peeps are much younger than I thought they were! I should refer them to some great plastic surgeons

we're like a boy band of five at work. kyle is the lead singer, Rich Le is the eye candy, and i'm the backup dancer lip synching in the back

crystal: what about bao and jon? are they coming?
anh: bao is in europe. jon has to work
crystal: oh, haven't seen them for a while
anh: ...and Don Vu is a hobo

crystal: what about Rich Le and kyle? are they coming?
anh: rich has to work. kyle is gay

rebooting... am I the only one who can crash my own phone while using facebook?

I have a redhead and a dark skin fetish. go figure

i'm craving mexican (pun intended)

crystal: what about joyce and kris?
anh: they'll be a week late. they're filipinos

crystal: what about Brittany Powell and Jake Woodruff?
anh: I don't like white people

I just insulted half of my friends who are filipinos. BAHAHAA

I do read everything in a british accent. whaaat?

I just posted a month's worth of status updates in one day? to some people, this is a year's worth!

I only agreed to date her cuz I thought she was 16. it's thrilling

110826
are you showing up tonight, Don Vu? they all want to see you... except Fannie Hsieh!

Bert Cruz is bringing a surprise guest tonight... HIMSELF! YEEHAAA!

wild night! Emily Cheng had to keep her little sister Tenzin Seldon from falling onto her face while Crystal Mira was braiding everybody's hair!

chime: i'mma beat christy up! I hate that bitch!
anh: hey, we can have Emily Cheng beat her up for you while Crystal Mira braids her hair!

drinking with lightweights is soo much fun! MUAHAHAA

110827
having beer with my little nephew at BJs. that's legal, right? mmm... BJs...

KEL-E (Kelley Nagano) | 2NE1's secret 5th band member

110828
only the superstitious believe in chain letters!
...
pass this on or misfortune will come to you

110830
I admit, i'm eccentric, but some artists are frakkin' WEIRD! you guys need to stop sniffing paints and markers!

my equivalent to "i disagree": don is a hobo

you've drawn digitally for too long when you look for "SAVE FILE" on your paper sketchbook

tired of being tired? eat healthier; exercise; and get more sleep!

I can't take this one guy seriously in this korean series. his name is SEIN; and in french, that means BREAST.
...
"are you getting engaged to sein?"

cyrus: what's up, bro?
anh: hey! the villain from HEROES...SIZZLER!

110831
anh's conscience: pull yourself together, man! think of her as your guy friend who's had a sex change... a REALLY good sex change! BAHAHAA!
anh: NOOO!

joyce: you're awesome anh! don't go gay!
...
aww one genuinely nice girl, right there!

Anhjun Lozfen is now friends with Enuf Peepol