SKITS - FEBRUARY

110201
when an asian girl gets into a car accident, it's most likely her fault

my best friend's wife is so ugly. he won't be seen in public with her unless she wears a bag

when someone still has the default ringtone, they have no clue how to use their phone

(watching SISTAR music video)
nephew: I like it when they shake their booties!
(BAHAHAA! he's 5! whatta pho?)

crystal: kids absorb information like a sponge
anh: I absorb briskets like a sponge

110202
nice rear... NO, PEOPLE! the scion tc in front of me! the TC!

rich: why is everyone yelling?
anh: they're not. that's tagalog!

110203
"no title, no title, no title..." apparently, my dashboard mp3 player does NOT read KOREAN! bleh...

like valentine's day, chinese new year should be celebrated EVERYDAY!

damn asians don't realize new year's day was like a MONTH ago!

kyle: I pulled my own bad tooth out
anh: alright, RAMBO!

the boss likes to sneak up on us to make sure we're not surfing for porn. I have my phone for that if I wanted to!

lee's coffee ~ $2.25... whip cream will cost you just $2.00!

"venti"... italian for "just slightly bigger than large, and twice as pricey!"

frak. ran out of pepsi! perhaps I'll just drink pickle juice for dinner

you ever waited for the bathroom at home just to find out someone else snuck in and made you wait even LONGER?! holy fuddruckers!

that toddler looks so cute. I hope he doesn't grow up to be an @$$hole

stay away from me during thunderstorms-- I'm a conductor

don: oh, so you got a copy of YATTERMAN? is it DVD quality? is it clear?
anh: yeah, clearer than your face!

she didn't break my heart! I just said she was terrible in bed!

I sneezed. tongue got in the way. now blood. mmm...

blood... the OTHER red wine

I can't hear people's fobbish accents online!

everyone thinks I'm online all the time! yes, I am... DROID DOES

110205
anh: why are you being nice to him?! he curses more than me!
don: cuz he's cute

jimmy: screaming is not considered singing

110206
when my dog gets excited, the air smells funny

your phone's screen brightness is set to "blinding white dwarf"... hence its low battery life!

110207
I won't even pick my sister up from LAX. what makes you think I'd do it for you?

rich: so I was cruising in newport beach along the PCH yesterday night--
anh: why would you do that? so dangerous! it's a white neighborhood!

rich: I need to clean the chocolate off the knife
anh: I can show you how to rid of blood stains off a knife

"i can't do the long divisions-- someone do the math..." JASON MRAZ (where's nerdy rich when I need him?)

"i never said my ex was a guy"... thanks, but I certainly missed the memo!

rich is ambidextrous. which means he gets everything done faster with both hands

alright, I'm gonna attempt to put my phone down for 5 minutes... FAILED!

tena will take a day to respond to your call! don... 2 days! fujie... NEVER! don't let her be your one phone call! you have a better chance to get a reply from aaron (her 3 year old)! now with rich... he'll reply to you before you even call him! he's THAT good! and anh... he'll reply to you whether or not you called him!

110208
anh: so why isn't carmen here today?
rich: she's sick
anh: are you sure she's not attending an airsoft game?

just cuz I enjoy GIRLS' GENERATION as well doesn't make me a sellout! 2NE1 4EVA BI-YATCH!

110209
rich: hey! your thought bubbles can be read when you're thinking out LOUD!
anh: haa they're basically my statuses!

accidentally hit "redo" after clearing a tough level in ANGRY BIRDS... now I'm angry >(

anh: I don't care for girls who don't work nor those who work too much. I want someone in between--
rich: your legs?

I shop at oKAY JEWELERS

110210
someone tell kyle screaming is not necessarily singing. I can't break it to him-- that'll bruise his ego

there's a lot of things I know how to do, but don't want to... like helping people... HAA of course I was kidding! it's just the poor starving children I don't like helping

don: I don't know if that woman is
sexy or not
anh: that's maybe cuz you're... GAY!

don: can you tell me? is it better? how much tighter is it going anal?
anh: haa! in your case, you wouldn't be able to feel that much of a difference!

trust me, you don't wanna go backdoor on someone who's full of shit!

this one temp lady will help us out in the art department. I hope she's cool with gangster rap

having BRISK lemon ice tea instead of my usual DOS EQUIS at work

the american remake of swedish horror film LET THE RIGHT ONE IN is called "let me in". this is what it would be renamed as if we were to direct it:

anh "let me in the right one"
khoa "let me in anyone!"
don "am I in? i can't feel it!"
rich "I'm gay"

rich's voice is so low. we call him "deepthroat"

anh: manda is really strong! she can wrestle you and win!
don: oh, but that's not possible anymore
anh: why?
don: cuz you two are no longer together
anh: I can just date any mexican! " your name starts with an 'M'? that's close enough for me! I'll call you 'manda'!"
don: BAHAHAA!
anh: joy is a big girl, but she's so weak! your wife is tiny, but at least she can lift her own arms!
don: yeah, joy doesn't have any muscle
anh: oh no, she does. they're just not functional!

(conversating with a south african white girl with a british accent)
bianca: pronounce "star"
don: what? "stall"?
bianca: no, "STAR"
don: oh, "STAR"
bianca: see? you guys over roll your Rs
anh: if you think we over roll our Rs, you should hear my mexican gardener roll his!

bianca: I already visited LA and I'm not impressed! it's so ugly in person!
don: yeah! unlike what you see on TV, huh?
anh: haa kinda like you, don! it's ugly in person!

bianca: my boyfriend is picking me up right now. look for a green forerunner!
don: what? a "green foreigner"? what is he? an alien?

110211
rich is showing off his HTC phone which comes with a kickstand! well, who needs one anyway? I can use my water bottle!

shiori's shoes are so frakkin' expensive, she only buys the one shoe and has to think about coming back for the other!

110212
if you're asian and still struggle with chopsticks, I'm NOT interested. my ex learned it in just a week and she was mexican! COME ON NOW!

"overeating"? what's that?

shiori: is that chicken?
anh: chicken? you don't come to incheonwon for CHICKEN!

"fake dog meat" on the menu? really?! they might as well have "fake human meat"! which is basically chicken

110214
MAZDA3s are definitely smiling, but it's not a friendly one-- more of an insane-asylum-I'll-cut-you-joker-smile O_o

don't you love just love those coworkers who give you small talks like, "ahh... another week!"? how am I supposed to respond? "ahh... I didn't know!"

carmen: do you know about that ice hotel where everything is made of ice?
anh: oh yeah!
carmen: that's cool, huh?
anh: that's cold! "you better down that shot quickly! oh, too late!"

boss is wearing red for valentine's. psh! like he's capable of love

110201
when an asian girl gets into a car accident, it's most likely her fault

my best friend's wife is so ugly. he won't be seen in public with her unless she wears a bag

when someone still has the default ringtone, they have no clue how to use their phone

(watching SISTAR music video)
nephew: I like it when they shake their booties!
(BAHAHAA! he's 5! whatta pho?)

crystal: kids absorb information like a sponge
anh: I absorb briskets like a sponge

110202
nice rear... NO, PEOPLE! the scion tc in front of me! the TC!

rich: why is everyone yelling?
anh: they're not. that's tagalog!

110203
"no title, no title, no title..." apparently, my dashboard mp3 player does NOT read KOREAN! bleh...

like valentine's day, chinese new year should be celebrated EVERYDAY!

damn asians don't realize new year's day was like a MONTH ago!

kyle: I pulled my own bad tooth out
anh: alright, RAMBO!

the boss likes to sneak up on us to make sure we're not surfing for porn. I have my phone for that if I wanted to!

lee's coffee ~ $2.25... whip cream will cost you just $2.00!

"venti"... italian for "just slightly bigger than large, and twice as pricey!"

frak. ran out of pepsi! perhaps I'll just drink pickle juice for dinner

you ever waited for the bathroom at home just to find out someone else snuck in and made you wait even LONGER?! holy fuddruckers!

that toddler looks so cute. I hope he doesn't grow up to be an @$$hole

stay away from me during thunderstorms-- I'm a conductor

don: oh, so you got a copy of YATTERMAN? is it DVD quality? is it clear?
anh: yeah, clearer than your face!

she didn't break my heart! I just said she was terrible in bed!

I sneezed. tongue got in the way. now blood. mmm...

blood... the OTHER red wine

I can't hear people's fobbish accents online!

everyone thinks I'm online all the time! yes, I am... DROID DOES

110205
anh: why are you being nice to him?! he curses more than me!
don: cuz he's cute

jimmy: screaming is not considered singing

110206
when my dog gets excited, the air smells funny

your phone's screen brightness is set to "blinding white dwarf"... hence its low battery life!

110207
I won't even pick my sister up from LAX. what makes you think I'd do it for you?

rich: so I was cruising in newport beach along the PCH yesterday night--
anh: why would you do that? so dangerous! it's a white neighborhood!

rich: I need to clean the chocolate off the knife
anh: I can show you how to rid of blood stains off a knife

"i can't do the long divisions-- someone do the math..." JASON MRAZ (where's nerdy rich when I need him?)

"i never said my ex was a guy"... thanks, but I certainly missed the memo!

rich is ambidextrous. which means he gets everything done faster with both hands

alright, I'm gonna attempt to put my phone down for 5 minutes... FAILED!

tena will take a day to respond to your call! don... 2 days! fujie... NEVER! don't let her be your one phone call! you have a better chance to get a reply from aaron (her 3 year old)! now with rich... he'll reply to you before you even call him! he's THAT good! and anh... he'll reply to you whether or not you called him!

110208
anh: so why isn't carmen here today?
rich: she's sick
anh: are you sure she's not attending an airsoft game?

just cuz I enjoy GIRLS' GENERATION as well doesn't make me a sellout! 2NE1 4EVA BI-YATCH!

110209
rich: hey! your thought bubbles can be read when you're thinking out LOUD!
anh: haa they're basically my statuses!

accidentally hit "redo" after clearing a tough level in ANGRY BIRDS... now I'm angry >(

anh: I don't care for girls who don't work nor those who work too much. I want someone in between--
rich: your legs?

I shop at oKAY JEWELERS

110210
someone tell kyle screaming is not necessarily singing. I can't break it to him-- that'll bruise his ego

there's a lot of things I know how to do, but don't want to... like helping people... HAA of course I was kidding! it's just the poor starving children I don't like helping

don: I don't know if that woman is
sexy or not
anh: that's maybe cuz you're... GAY!

don: can you tell me? is it better? how much tighter is it going anal?
anh: haa! in your case, you wouldn't be able to feel that much of a difference!

trust me, you don't wanna go backdoor on someone who's full of shit!

this one temp lady will help us out in the art department. I hope she's cool with gangster rap

having BRISK lemon ice tea instead of my usual DOS EQUIS at work

the american remake of swedish horror film LET THE RIGHT ONE IN is called "let me in". this is what it would be renamed as if we were to direct it:

anh "let me in the right one"
khoa "let me in anyone!"
don "am I in? i can't feel it!"
rich "I'm gay"

rich's voice is so low. we call him "deepthroat"

anh: manda is really strong! she can wrestle you and win!
don: oh, but that's not possible anymore
anh: why?
don: cuz you two are no longer together
anh: I can just date any mexican! " your name starts with an 'M'? that's close enough for me! I'll call you 'manda'!"
don: BAHAHAA!
anh: joy is a big girl, but she's so weak! your wife is tiny, but at least she can lift her own arms!
don: yeah, joy doesn't have any muscle
anh: oh no, she does. they're just not functional!

(conversating with a south african white girl with a british accent)
bianca: pronounce "star"
don: what? "stall"?
bianca: no, "STAR"
don: oh, "STAR"
bianca: see? you guys over roll your Rs
anh: if you think we over roll our Rs, you should hear my mexican gardener roll his!

bianca: I already visited LA and I'm not impressed! it's so ugly in person!
don: yeah! unlike what you see on TV, huh?
anh: haa kinda like you, don! it's ugly in person!

bianca: my boyfriend is picking me up right now. look for a green forerunner!
don: what? a "green foreigner"? what is he? an alien?

110211
rich is showing off his HTC phone which comes with a kickstand! well, who needs one anyway? I can use my water bottle!

shiori's shoes are so frakkin' expensive, she only buys the one shoe and has to think about coming back for the other!

110212
if you're asian and still struggle with chopsticks, I'm NOT interested. my ex learned it in just a week and she was mexican! COME ON NOW!

"overeating"? what's that?

shiori: is that chicken?
anh: chicken? you don't come to incheonwon for CHICKEN!

"fake dog meat" on the menu? really?! they might as well have "fake human meat"! which is basically chicken

110214
MAZDA3s are definitely smiling, but it's not a friendly one-- more of an insane-asylum-I'll-cut-you-joker-smile O_o

don't you love just love those coworkers who give you small talks like, "ahh... another week!"? how am I supposed to respond? "ahh... I didn't know!"

carmen: do you know about that ice hotel where everything is made of ice?
anh: oh yeah!
carmen: that's cool, huh?
anh: that's cold! "you better down that shot quickly! oh, too late!"

boss is wearing red for valentine's. psh! like he's capable of love

"asexual" is also a term used for those who lack sexual desires... like Rich

you're on facebook! show your frakkin' face in the profile pic!

I'll make you over drink so you can over eat!

it's so easy to make rich feel awkward, even a caveman can do it without an EASY button!

NEVER hand your SLR over to a snapshooter! *ahem* CRYSTAL!

kyle: is rich gonna go out with you tonight?
anh: I'm not holding my breath. I ain't waiting for no man to call me!

anhjun lozfen: I just ripped my underwear! whatta pho?
carmen alabran: omigod! I'm laughing so hard, I think I just ripped mine!
anhjun lozfen: BAHAHAA! I'm laughing soo hard at your response! I may just rip another!

I pet my dog and he thanks me by farting! nice...

wow... feels good! perhaps I should try showering more than once a week

tried to iron a wrinkly plastic bag once... didn't work

my location: N/A
I'm under witness protection program. wait... why the hell am I signed up to FACEBOOK?!

110215
ANH + facebook = twitter?

kyle passes placentia and also gas on his way home with his windows rolled up

the boss is frightened of any music that's not christmas related

I only have two volume levels on my bluetooth speakers. "LOUD" and "LOUDER"

50% facebook "friends" I couldn't care less about
25% MEH!
20% I would take a bullet for
5% who the frak are you?

I REALLY need to draw something or I'm a stab someone... with a plastic
SPORK!

must be something in the coffee... so sleepy...

forget your facebook "top fans"! who's your "top spammer"?

110216
I always take out the one person I don't expect any sex with! what?

anh: no way you can commit to P90X exercise routines. many have tried and failed
unnamed girl: how can you say that?! you don't know me! what if I could do it?
anh: you're asian

emo dudes and their tight fitting nut hugging jeans... why don't they just wear pantyhose?

OOPS! I dropped my piece of chocolate on the restroom floor! 2 second rule!

boys like women with little boy bodies. real men like women with hips

alright... there's more than 12 people coming friday! I will have to cut some of you guys out... starting with my girlfriend!

I usually tell people if I'm responsible for something... unless it's murder

110217
some of my bitchy looking girls are actually very sweet

(sister gets cut while opening a wine bottle)
liz: OUCH! F@#%!
anh: you didn't hear that ethan (nephew)
liz: S#!% this thing hurts!
anh: AND she adds more!

anh: I wanna take carly home!
nephew: she's from seattle... and seattle is in washington!
anh: oh wow... that's a little far

110218
kyle just lost his side view mirror due to a hit and run! who needs one anyway? don still drives without a rear view mirror

don: incheonwon tonight, right?
anh: fosho hobo mofo

"' to the left, to the left!'... there's nothing left, not here... for you" ANTHONY HAMILTON

anh: incheonwon kbbq 7pm?
jimmy: what time?! will there be food?

110219
my father's voice may just be more annoying than rich's

110220
"keeping up with the kardashians"... you have to be comatose to enjoy this show

HALL PASS: a week off from marriage to do whatever you want without consequences

110221
supervisor: uh, anh... the boss expects you guys to do nothing else but work. breathing is considered a distraction
anh: F@#%!

girl: gas is so freakin' expensive!
anh: what do you drive? a BMW inXS?

love it when peeps post a count down you have no clue of... "yay! one more day!" 'til you get laid? what?!

rich can easily make any woman angry. he has yet to make one love him

whoa! I thought it was spooge on my blanket, but it was just yogurt... whew

110222
wow... all of a sudden, everyone's back on the road this morning! even those who aren't even supposed to drive!

raffy: you know they're coming out with DROID X2?
anh: they are? does it come with double cams? that'll come in handy!
raffy: I want double cunts!
anh: a woman with two of those? haa too much of a good thing!

110223
photogenic girls don't give me a reason to use photoshop! now, don's wife... needs a LOT of work!

I'm so glad to finally meet you, but you look sooo much better in pictures!

wow, got tuna breath! I guess no french kissing my gay coworkers today

people who live alone tend to prance around naked, but rich wouldn't be caught without a bra!

insomnia? I'm the other extreme. I can fall asleep as soon as I hit the bed! you're talking about the same guy who falls asleep listening to others here!

kyle can sneeze up a storm! I'm like 6 yards away from his desk and I think my monitor just caught some loogies

rich: do you guys know who looks like charlie sheen?
carmen: who?
kyle: where?
rich: in THIS company!
anh: does it have to be a guy?!

maybe we should leave now! it's gettin' dark! my car doesn't come with headlights!

my pajama pants have no pockets! whaaat? where am I gonna put my phone?

to those who've been trying to catch me on chat, you have a better chance winning the lottery! it's like waiting for a text reply from cindy

110224
I need to bring wine to work to have with my brie

since I'm not even his one phone call, rich is off my list! that fob can stop his own bullet

rich cares too much about friends who take him for granted. he really needs to attend anh's "i don't give a $#!%" seminars

poor rich... he's so stressed today! I need to give him a frontal massage

anh: here, have a mandarin!
rich: oh, okaay...
anh: lemme peel it for you-- or would you rather have don do it?
rich: with his filthy hands?
anh: oh yeah, "he might as well peel it with his toes!"

how the F@#% do I say no to a girl when she gives me that puss-in-boots look?!

110225
maria eats jalapeno peppers like pickles and limes like oranges

rich: do you know FOREVER 21?
anh: yeah, my 16-year old girlfriend shopped there

hitting a "good riddance" house party! hope I find some drinking buddies cuz I ain't frakkin' driving and rich only drinks water! bleh...

110227
facebooking from the shower! hehe... no, wait. FCUK!

livvy: I got into a fight last night! I threw fists, but the bitch kept pulling onto my hair!
anh: FCUK! wear a helmet next time... an ASTRONAUT helmet

eurasians are overrated! well, except for me

110228
kyle: I'm getting sick
anh: are you gonna get better before carmen gets worst?

rich: you think you're funny?
anh: well, I'm not the one who looks like he's attending a funeral when he's watching standup comics

uh oh... introducing livvy to incheonwon was like getting her started with cocaine!

carmen: I think we found the perfect girl for rich!
anh: oh yeah? who?
kyle: loid!
anh: why? Is she a nerd?
carmen: she doesn't like plants or pets!
kyle: what else doesn't she like?
anh: laughter? does she find math formulas orgasmic?

to those dudes who never wash their hands after hitting the restroom, RECONSIDER! I don't wanna be shaking your weenie when we're greeting!

you ever aimed a snack towards your mouth, but didn't know where it went?

(just noticed anh's pastrami sandwich)
rich: whoa! that's a lot of meat!
anh: that's what she said!

my boxer mix is too frakkin' muscular to hug! look at him! how did he even get those guns? he doesn't even work out! I need a girly cuddly little dog!

whatta pho? I have a british accent that comes and goes?

110201
when an asian girl gets into a car accident, it's most likely her fault

my best friend's wife is so ugly. he won't be seen in public with her unless she wears a bag

when someone still has the default ringtone, they have no clue how to use their phone

(watching SISTAR music video)
nephew: I like it when they shake their booties!
(BAHAHAA! he's 5! whatta pho?)

crystal: kids absorb information like a sponge
anh: I absorb briskets like a sponge

110202
nice rear... NO, PEOPLE! the scion tc in front of me! the TC!

rich: why is everyone yelling?
anh: they're not. that's tagalog!

110203
"no title, no title, no title..." apparently, my dashboard mp3 player does NOT read KOREAN! bleh...

like valentine's day, chinese new year should be celebrated EVERYDAY!

damn asians don't realize new year's day was like a MONTH ago!

kyle: I pulled my own bad tooth out
anh: alright, RAMBO!

the boss likes to sneak up on us to make sure we're not surfing for porn. I have my phone for that if I wanted to!

lee's coffee ~ $2.25... whip cream will cost you just $2.00!

"venti"... italian for "just slightly bigger than large, and twice as pricey!"

frak. ran out of pepsi! perhaps I'll just drink pickle juice for dinner

you ever waited for the bathroom at home just to find out someone else snuck in and made you wait even LONGER?! holy fuddruckers!

that toddler looks so cute. I hope he doesn't grow up to be an @$$hole

stay away from me during thunderstorms-- I'm a conductor

don: oh, so you got a copy of YATTERMAN? is it DVD quality? is it clear?
anh: yeah, clearer than your face!

she didn't break my heart! I just said she was terrible in bed!

I sneezed. tongue got in the way. now blood. mmm...

blood... the OTHER red wine

I can't hear people's fobbish accents online!

everyone thinks I'm online all the time! yes, I am... DROID DOES

110205
anh: why are you being nice to him?! he curses more than me!
don: cuz he's cute

jimmy: screaming is not considered singing

110206
when my dog gets excited, the air smells funny

your phone's screen brightness is set to "blinding white dwarf"... hence its low battery life!

110207
I won't even pick my sister up from LAX. what makes you think I'd do it for you?

rich: so I was cruising in newport beach along the PCH yesterday night--
anh: why would you do that? so dangerous! it's a white neighborhood!

rich: I need to clean the chocolate off the knife
anh: I can show you how to rid of blood stains off a knife

"i can't do the long divisions-- someone do the math..." JASON MRAZ (where's nerdy rich when I need him?)

"i never said my ex was a guy"... thanks, but I certainly missed the memo!

rich is ambidextrous. which means he gets everything done faster with both hands

alright, I'm gonna attempt to put my phone down for 5 minutes... FAILED!

tena will take a day to respond to your call! don... 2 days! fujie... NEVER! don't let her be your one phone call! you have a better chance to get a reply from aaron (her 3 year old)! now with rich... he'll reply to you before you even call him! he's THAT good! and anh... he'll reply to you whether or not you called him!

110208
anh: so why isn't carmen here today?
rich: she's sick
anh: are you sure she's not attending an airsoft game?

just cuz I enjoy GIRLS' GENERATION as well doesn't make me a sellout! 2NE1 4EVA BI-YATCH!

110209
rich: hey! your thought bubbles can be read when you're thinking out LOUD!
anh: haa they're basically my statuses!

accidentally hit "redo" after clearing a tough level in ANGRY BIRDS... now I'm angry >(

anh: I don't care for girls who don't work nor those who work too much. I want someone in between--
rich: your legs?

I shop at oKAY JEWELERS

110210
someone tell kyle screaming is not necessarily singing. I can't break it to him-- that'll bruise his ego

there's a lot of things I know how to do, but don't want to... like helping people... HAA of course I was kidding! it's just the poor starving children I don't like helping

don: I don't know if that woman is
sexy or not
anh: that's maybe cuz you're... GAY!

don: can you tell me? is it better? how much tighter is it going anal?
anh: haa! in your case, you wouldn't be able to feel that much of a difference!

trust me, you don't wanna go backdoor on someone who's full of shit!

this one temp lady will help us out in the art department. I hope she's cool with gangster rap

having BRISK lemon ice tea instead of my usual DOS EQUIS at work

the american remake of swedish horror film LET THE RIGHT ONE IN is called "let me in". this is what it would be renamed as if we were to direct it:

anh "let me in the right one"
khoa "let me in anyone!"
don "am I in? i can't feel it!"
rich "I'm gay"

rich's voice is so low. we call him "deepthroat"

anh: manda is really strong! she can wrestle you and win!
don: oh, but that's not possible anymore
anh: why?
don: cuz you two are no longer together
anh: I can just date any mexican! " your name starts with an 'M'? that's close enough for me! I'll call you 'manda'!"
don: BAHAHAA!
anh: joy is a big girl, but she's so weak! your wife is tiny, but at least she can lift her own arms!
don: yeah, joy doesn't have any muscle
anh: oh no, she does. they're just not functional!

(conversating with a south african white girl with a british accent)
bianca: pronounce "star"
don: what? "stall"?
bianca: no, "STAR"
don: oh, "STAR"
bianca: see? you guys over roll your Rs
anh: if you think we over roll our Rs, you should hear my mexican gardener roll his!

bianca: I already visited LA and I'm not impressed! it's so ugly in person!
don: yeah! unlike what you see on TV, huh?
anh: haa kinda like you, don! it's ugly in person!

bianca: my boyfriend is picking me up right now. look for a green forerunner!
don: what? a "green foreigner"? what is he? an alien?

110211
rich is showing off his HTC phone which comes with a kickstand! well, who needs one anyway? I can use my water bottle!

shiori's shoes are so frakkin' expensive, she only buys the one shoe and has to think about coming back for the other!

110212
if you're asian and still struggle with chopsticks, I'm NOT interested. my ex learned it in just a week and she was mexican! COME ON NOW!

"overeating"? what's that?

shiori: is that chicken?
anh: chicken? you don't come to incheonwon for CHICKEN!

"fake dog meat" on the menu? really?! they might as well have "fake human meat"! which is basically chicken

110214
MAZDA3s are definitely smiling, but it's not a friendly one-- more of an insane-asylum-I'll-cut-you-joker-smile O_o

don't you love just love those coworkers who give you small talks like, "ahh... another week!"? how am I supposed to respond? "ahh... I didn't know!"

carmen: do you know about that ice hotel where everything is made of ice?
anh: oh yeah!
carmen: that's cool, huh?
anh: that's cold! "you better down that shot quickly! oh, too late!"

boss is wearing red for valentine's. psh! like he's capable of love

110201
when an asian girl gets into a car accident, it's most likely her fault

my best friend's wife is so ugly. he won't be seen in public with her unless she wears a bag

when someone still has the default ringtone, they have no clue how to use their phone

(watching SISTAR music video)
nephew: I like it when they shake their booties!
(BAHAHAA! he's 5! whatta pho?)

crystal: kids absorb information like a sponge
anh: I absorb briskets like a sponge

110202
nice rear... NO, PEOPLE! the scion tc in front of me! the TC!

rich: why is everyone yelling?
anh: they're not. that's tagalog!

110203
"no title, no title, no title..." apparently, my dashboard mp3 player does NOT read KOREAN! bleh...

like valentine's day, chinese new year should be celebrated EVERYDAY!

damn asians don't realize new year's day was like a MONTH ago!

kyle: I pulled my own bad tooth out
anh: alright, RAMBO!

the boss likes to sneak up on us to make sure we're not surfing for porn. I have my phone for that if I wanted to!

lee's coffee ~ $2.25... whip cream will cost you just $2.00!

"venti"... italian for "just slightly bigger than large, and twice as pricey!"

frak. ran out of pepsi! perhaps I'll just drink pickle juice for dinner

you ever waited for the bathroom at home just to find out someone else snuck in and made you wait even LONGER?! holy fuddruckers!

that toddler looks so cute. I hope he doesn't grow up to be an @$$hole

stay away from me during thunderstorms-- I'm a conductor

don: oh, so you got a copy of YATTERMAN? is it DVD quality? is it clear?
anh: yeah, clearer than your face!

she didn't break my heart! I just said she was terrible in bed!

I sneezed. tongue got in the way. now blood. mmm...

blood... the OTHER red wine

I can't hear people's fobbish accents online!

everyone thinks I'm online all the time! yes, I am... DROID DOES

110205
anh: why are you being nice to him?! he curses more than me!
don: cuz he's cute

jimmy: screaming is not considered singing

110206
when my dog gets excited, the air smells funny

your phone's screen brightness is set to "blinding white dwarf"... hence its low battery life!

110207
I won't even pick my sister up from LAX. what makes you think I'd do it for you?

rich: so I was cruising in newport beach along the PCH yesterday night--
anh: why would you do that? so dangerous! it's a white neighborhood!

rich: I need to clean the chocolate off the knife
anh: I can show you how to rid of blood stains off a knife

"i can't do the long divisions-- someone do the math..." JASON MRAZ (where's nerdy rich when I need him?)

"i never said my ex was a guy"... thanks, but I certainly missed the memo!

rich is ambidextrous. which means he gets everything done faster with both hands

alright, I'm gonna attempt to put my phone down for 5 minutes... FAILED!

tena will take a day to respond to your call! don... 2 days! fujie... NEVER! don't let her be your one phone call! you have a better chance to get a reply from aaron (her 3 year old)! now with rich... he'll reply to you before you even call him! he's THAT good! and anh... he'll reply to you whether or not you called him!

110208
anh: so why isn't carmen here today?
rich: she's sick
anh: are you sure she's not attending an airsoft game?

just cuz I enjoy GIRLS' GENERATION as well doesn't make me a sellout! 2NE1 4EVA BI-YATCH!

110209
rich: hey! your thought bubbles can be read when you're thinking out LOUD!
anh: haa they're basically my statuses!

accidentally hit "redo" after clearing a tough level in ANGRY BIRDS... now I'm angry >(

anh: I don't care for girls who don't work nor those who work too much. I want someone in between--
rich: your legs?

I shop at oKAY JEWELERS

110210
someone tell kyle screaming is not necessarily singing. I can't break it to him-- that'll bruise his ego

there's a lot of things I know how to do, but don't want to... like helping people... HAA of course I was kidding! it's just the poor starving children I don't like helping

don: I don't know if that woman is
sexy or not
anh: that's maybe cuz you're... GAY!

don: can you tell me? is it better? how much tighter is it going anal?
anh: haa! in your case, you wouldn't be able to feel that much of a difference!

trust me, you don't wanna go backdoor on someone who's full of shit!

this one temp lady will help us out in the art department. I hope she's cool with gangster rap

having BRISK lemon ice tea instead of my usual DOS EQUIS at work

the american remake of swedish horror film LET THE RIGHT ONE IN is called "let me in". this is what it would be renamed as if we were to direct it:

anh "let me in the right one"
khoa "let me in anyone!"
don "am I in? i can't feel it!"
rich "I'm gay"

rich's voice is so low. we call him "deepthroat"

anh: manda is really strong! she can wrestle you and win!
don: oh, but that's not possible anymore
anh: why?
don: cuz you two are no longer together
anh: I can just date any mexican! " your name starts with an 'M'? that's close enough for me! I'll call you 'manda'!"
don: BAHAHAA!
anh: joy is a big girl, but she's so weak! your wife is tiny, but at least she can lift her own arms!
don: yeah, joy doesn't have any muscle
anh: oh no, she does. they're just not functional!

(conversating with a south african white girl with a british accent)
bianca: pronounce "star"
don: what? "stall"?
bianca: no, "STAR"
don: oh, "STAR"
bianca: see? you guys over roll your Rs
anh: if you think we over roll our Rs, you should hear my mexican gardener roll his!

bianca: I already visited LA and I'm not impressed! it's so ugly in person!
don: yeah! unlike what you see on TV, huh?
anh: haa kinda like you, don! it's ugly in person!

bianca: my boyfriend is picking me up right now. look for a green forerunner!
don: what? a "green foreigner"? what is he? an alien?

110211
rich is showing off his HTC phone which comes with a kickstand! well, who needs one anyway? I can use my water bottle!

shiori's shoes are so frakkin' expensive, she only buys the one shoe and has to think about coming back for the other!

110212
if you're asian and still struggle with chopsticks, I'm NOT interested. my ex learned it in just a week and she was mexican! COME ON NOW!

"overeating"? what's that?

shiori: is that chicken?
anh: chicken? you don't come to incheonwon for CHICKEN!

"fake dog meat" on the menu? really?! they might as well have "fake human meat"! which is basically chicken

110214
MAZDA3s are definitely smiling, but it's not a friendly one-- more of an insane-asylum-I'll-cut-you-joker-smile O_o

don't you love just love those coworkers who give you small talks like, "ahh... another week!"? how am I supposed to respond? "ahh... I didn't know!"

carmen: do you know about that ice hotel where everything is made of ice?
anh: oh yeah!
carmen: that's cool, huh?
anh: that's cold! "you better down that shot quickly! oh, too late!"

boss is wearing red for valentine's. psh! like he's capable of love

"asexual" is also a term used for those who lack sexual desires... like Rich

you're on facebook! show your frakkin' face in the profile pic!

I'll make you over drink so you can over eat!

it's so easy to make rich feel awkward, even a caveman can do it without an EASY button!

NEVER hand your SLR over to a snapshooter! *ahem* CRYSTAL!

kyle: is rich gonna go out with you tonight?
anh: I'm not holding my breath. I ain't waiting for no man to call me!

anhjun lozfen: I just ripped my underwear! whatta pho?
carmen alabran: omigod! I'm laughing so hard, I think I just ripped mine!
anhjun lozfen: BAHAHAA! I'm laughing soo hard at your response! I may just rip another!

I pet my dog and he thanks me by farting! nice...

wow... feels good! perhaps I should try showering more than once a week

tried to iron a wrinkly plastic bag once... didn't work

my location: N/A
I'm under witness protection program. wait... why the hell am I signed up to FACEBOOK?!

110215
ANH + facebook = twitter?

kyle passes placentia and also gas on his way home with his windows rolled up

the boss is frightened of any music that's not christmas related

I only have two volume levels on my bluetooth speakers. "LOUD" and "LOUDER"

50% facebook "friends" I couldn't care less about
25% MEH!
20% I would take a bullet for
5% who the frak are you?

I REALLY need to draw something or I'm a stab someone... with a plastic
SPORK!

must be something in the coffee... so sleepy...

forget your facebook "top fans"! who's your "top spammer"?

110216
I always take out the one person I don't expect any sex with! what?

anh: no way you can commit to P90X exercise routines. many have tried and failed
unnamed girl: how can you say that?! you don't know me! what if I could do it?
anh: you're asian

emo dudes and their tight fitting nut hugging jeans... why don't they just wear pantyhose?

OOPS! I dropped my piece of chocolate on the restroom floor! 2 second rule!

boys like women with little boy bodies. real men like women with hips

alright... there's more than 12 people coming friday! I will have to cut some of you guys out... starting with my girlfriend!

I usually tell people if I'm responsible for something... unless it's murder

110217
some of my bitchy looking girls are actually very sweet

(sister gets cut while opening a wine bottle)
liz: OUCH! F@#%!
anh: you didn't hear that ethan (nephew)
liz: S#!% this thing hurts!
anh: AND she adds more!

anh: I wanna take carly home!
nephew: she's from seattle... and seattle is in washington!
anh: oh wow... that's a little far

110218
kyle just lost his side view mirror due to a hit and run! who needs one anyway? don still drives without a rear view mirror

don: incheonwon tonight, right?
anh: fosho hobo mofo

"' to the left, to the left!'... there's nothing left, not here... for you" ANTHONY HAMILTON

anh: incheonwon kbbq 7pm?
jimmy: what time?! will there be food?

110219
my father's voice may just be more annoying than rich's

110220
"keeping up with the kardashians"... you have to be comatose to enjoy this show

HALL PASS: a week off from marriage to do whatever you want without consequences

110221
supervisor: uh, anh... the boss expects you guys to do nothing else but work. breathing is considered a distraction
anh: F@#%!

girl: gas is so freakin' expensive!
anh: what do you drive? a BMW inXS?

love it when peeps post a count down you have no clue of... "yay! one more day!" 'til you get laid? what?!

rich can easily make any woman angry. he has yet to make one love him

whoa! I thought it was spooge on my blanket, but it was just yogurt... whew

110222
wow... all of a sudden, everyone's back on the road this morning! even those who aren't even supposed to drive!

raffy: you know they're coming out with DROID X2?
anh: they are? does it come with double cams? that'll come in handy!
raffy: I want double cunts!
anh: a woman with two of those? haa too much of a good thing!

110223
photogenic girls don't give me a reason to use photoshop! now, don's wife... needs a LOT of work!

I'm so glad to finally meet you, but you look sooo much better in pictures!

wow, got tuna breath! I guess no french kissing my gay coworkers today

people who live alone tend to prance around naked, but rich wouldn't be caught without a bra!

insomnia? I'm the other extreme. I can fall asleep as soon as I hit the bed! you're talking about the same guy who falls asleep listening to others here!

kyle can sneeze up a storm! I'm like 6 yards away from his desk and I think my monitor just caught some loogies

rich: do you guys know who looks like charlie sheen?
carmen: who?
kyle: where?
rich: in THIS company!
anh: does it have to be a guy?!

maybe we should leave now! it's gettin' dark! my car doesn't come with headlights!

my pajama pants have no pockets! whaaat? where am I gonna put my phone?

to those who've been trying to catch me on chat, you have a better chance winning the lottery! it's like waiting for a text reply from cindy

110224
I need to bring wine to work to have with my brie

since I'm not even his one phone call, rich is off my list! that fob can stop his own bullet

rich cares too much about friends who take him for granted. he really needs to attend anh's "i don't give a $#!%" seminars

poor rich... he's so stressed today! I need to give him a frontal massage

anh: here, have a mandarin!
rich: oh, okaay...
anh: lemme peel it for you-- or would you rather have don do it?
rich: with his filthy hands?
anh: oh yeah, "he might as well peel it with his toes!"

how the F@#% do I say no to a girl when she gives me that puss-in-boots look?!

110225
maria eats jalapeno peppers like pickles and limes like oranges

rich: do you know FOREVER 21?
anh: yeah, my 16-year old girlfriend shopped there

hitting a "good riddance" house party! hope I find some drinking buddies cuz I ain't frakkin' driving and rich only drinks water! bleh...

110227
facebooking from the shower! hehe... no, wait. FCUK!

livvy: I got into a fight last night! I threw fists, but the bitch kept pulling onto my hair!
anh: FCUK! wear a helmet next time... an ASTRONAUT helmet

eurasians are overrated! well, except for me

110228
kyle: I'm getting sick
anh: are you gonna get better before carmen gets worst?

rich: you think you're funny?
anh: well, I'm not the one who looks like he's attending a funeral when he's watching standup comics

uh oh... introducing livvy to incheonwon was like getting her started with cocaine!

carmen: I think we found the perfect girl for rich!
anh: oh yeah? who?
kyle: loid!
anh: why? Is she a nerd?
carmen: she doesn't like plants or pets!
kyle: what else doesn't she like?
anh: laughter? does she find math formulas orgasmic?

to those dudes who never wash their hands after hitting the restroom, RECONSIDER! I don't wanna be shaking your weenie when we're greeting!

you ever aimed a snack towards your mouth, but didn't know where it went?

(just noticed anh's pastrami sandwich)
rich: whoa! that's a lot of meat!
anh: that's what she said!

my boxer mix is too frakkin' muscular to hug! look at him! how did he even get those guns? he doesn't even work out! I need a girly cuddly little dog!

whatta pho? I have a british accent that comes and goes?

lomo cameras are so cool! too bad I won't go back to film. on top of that, I use cams like machine guns

the reason why I kept you, but deleted your friend is because they were... LAME!

when cops are spotted, I stop moving in hopes that they don't see me

chime: can someone please read me a bedtime story?
anh: I don't read. I'll just inject you with a sedative