SKITS - NOVEMBER

101102
Rich loves to boss us around at work. He's like... General Ass! Major Pain! Captain... Crunch!

101103
Rich: what do you call people from new york?
Jong: new yorkers!
Rich: what about boston?
Rose: bostonians!
Rich: L.A.?
Anh: Los Assholes

101104
Anh: lang is perfect for you! She loves disneyland and plays "starcraft"!
Rich: nahh NAHHH! I don't wanna hear it!
Anh: she IS!! She's soo... YOUR WIFE! Lang, would you marry him?
Lang: hmm... Yeah, whatta hell, why not?
Anh: see, rich?! She doesn't need to find mr. right when she HAS mr. perfect!

Ena (10yr old): can I have that?
Anh: but you already have one like it!
Ena: but I want that one!
Anh: I just opened this one for you!
Ena: can I have that one instead?
Anh: what ena wants, ena shall have! ...TWO BEERS!
Raffy: (yelling at the kid) hey! Those are mine, fucker!!

Anh: Your best friend can become your worst enemy... With friends like joy, who wants to live?
David: I'm dying

101107
Jessica nguyen: oh who are you interested in? Show me her picture!
(links her to facebook profile)
Jess: oh she has boobs!
Anh: I'm not after those! I was taken by her smile! The boobs are bonuses =)

101110
Carmen: I am soo stressed out! The boss wants the whole catalog sized down last minute!
Rich: alright, I was sent up here! How can I help?
Anh: change the boss

101111
Don has horse teeth. In order to put him down, you need to use a horse tranquilizer

101116
Don: I could get into bartending
Anh: but you don't even drink! You get drunk off of one bottle! What if your customers want you to take shots with 'em?
Don: I'd be fucked

Some girls look good with their glasses on. Others look good with my glasses off

Cyrus: I requested this one guy to add me on facebook. he hasn't responded for two days so I removed my request! FUCK HIM if he doesn't wanna add me! He can rub his DICK on my BACK!

101123
Olivia Oblitas: I love asian culture!
Anh: really, that much?
Olivia: oh anh, I'm more open minded than you!
Anh: so would you date an asian guy?
Olivia: no

The rain would give you a free wash, but it won't clean the interior for you... unless it's a convertible!

Don is my best friend, but Rich is my best man. At least, he won't forget the ring!

what's with all these people getting cold? I still walk around topless at home! Even my gay co worker walks around bottomless at his place!

Hey! He looks like bryan from behind! And Rich looks like an ASS from behind!

Anh: you better show up to jong's birthday cuz he's not forgiving! He CAN deport you back to japan. Jong will remember this... Oh yeah!
Don: but I'm not even japanese!
Anh: And if he forgets, rich will remind him!

Facebook status: "you were meant for me, so I'll be there for you"
Jessica nguyen: that's what the peanut butter said to the strawberry jelly

Facebook status: Frakkin' freeway debris... I should laminate my car!

Raffy: (2 hours late to jong's birthday) what time did you get here?
anh: on time
raffy: really?
anh: yeah, I'm not filipino

101128
Opening. Pickle jar. With wet hands! Aaaaargh!

When two galpals become each other's worst enemies, I'm gonna be fair and side with the hot one

Thanksgiving weekend seems like the perfect for some to delete "friends" they're not thankful for... Muahahaa!

Women would give up their best friend for a man... Men would give up their women for food

My dog escaped when this wind busted the side gate open! Useless pet. some vietnamese family will be eating well tonight!

101129
After pregnancy, most women let their body go. After his wife's pregnancy, don let his body go to hell

101130
Certain people should be cloned... and shared! ...katy perry!

101105
FACEBOOK STATUS: if i'm not responding to your status, DROID WILL! haa! this is worst than cocaine

Krystle: all you can eat korean bbq $20, waffle sundae for desert $6, ice cold korean milk tea $5...the look on my cousin's face as she goes into food coma-PRICELESS!

101106
FACEBOOK STATUS: Some skinny girls actually have pretty nice curves
Jessica Le: OMG, WHAT CURVES??
Anhjun Lozfen: lemme get you naked first. i'll show you where

FACEBOOK STATUS: anything you can do, DROID can do better
comment: i can drive my car remotely with it, bitch! haa

"my friendship with you is like a condom... i'll always be there for you when things get hard"

101108
FACEBOOK STATUS: just when i thought i was done with filipinas, they pull me back in!

101109
FACEBOOK STATUS: i have to kiss a lot of frogs, but i don't want a princess!

Anh: i'm still trying to figure out what to do with krystle's boyfriend. i need an accomplice!
Jessica Nguyen: i'll help you out!
Anh: perfect, jess! i'll pay you in briskets!

101112
(Watching 2NE1's "go away" music video)
little nephew: CL is a bad driver
Anh: most girls are

Krystle Gayle: i had late class today, no work unfortunately dang i like totally offered myself to them and yet no ring?! whatever hehe
Anh: if you offered yourself to the right person, you'll get a ring =)

101114
guy friend: i'm having a hooka party at my place today! wanna come?
livvy: sure, i'd love to smoke some of that!
(she arrives to his place)
livvy: i know i'm kinda late, but where's everybody?
guy friend: I AM THE HOOOOKAAA!

101117
FACEBOOK STATUS: co-workers think I play my music too loudly. They should listen to kyle blast his. The dude is already deaf on one side. Carmen's gonna get a migraine!
Carmen Alabran: What do you mean gonna?
Anhjun Lozfen: What was that? I can't hear you!
Carmen Alabran: LOL
Anhjun Lozfen: Wait til he blasts "i just wanna f@#%ing dance!"

Krystle Gayle: this photo was compliments of ahn...hehe thanks you really capture my natural, enigmatic, B.E.A.U.T.Y.
Anhjun Lozfen: It's ANH, crystal! typical filipino mistake though. You're not beautiful... You're G.O.R.G.E.O.U.S.

FACEBOOK STATUS: Don't you hate it when you check on a comment and all they have to say is "haa"?
Olivia Le: and you ended up responding to my photo saying "haa" -_- wth
Anhjun Lozfen: K
Raymond Derrick: Ha!
Olivia Le: wow
Kristian Dimal: LOL
Crystal Mira: hee :]

101118
FACEBOOK STATUS: F@#$ BEER PONG! i'm doin' shot pong with marbles! who's with me?!

101120
FACEBOOK STATUS: "would you have dinner with me?"... "why would I look at your face while I'm eating?"

101126
FACEBOOK STATUS: I only like flakes in my cereals

101127
FACEBOOK STATUS: When life gives you lemons, chew 'em up; spit 'em back; and aim for the eyes!
FACEBOOK STATUS: "i get scared when rich people ask me for help"

101128
rich: you'll never survive on "LOST"
anh: i got lost watching that

FB STATUS: "it's complicated" BLAH BLAH BLAH... LOOK, if it ain't working out, just END IT!

FB STATUS: damn heater melted my chocolate bar! i'm a turn it OFF! who needs that in the smack of winter anyway!

Anh: so what time's the party?
Jon: well, it's from 3pm til... the police shows up?

Anh: shot a few hundred photos of livvy at bolsa chica near the beach
for her lookbook
Jess: you did a nice job
Anh: hehe thanks! could've had more skin though.
my other galpal will model in a bikini! she's more PG
Jess: goodness! lemme tell you now... you'd be lucky to see my arms! hahaa!
Anh: haa stoopid! you're BELOW G-rated, miss turtleneck!

damn heater melted my chocolate bar! i'm a turn it OFF! who needs that in the smack of winter anyway!

jeez! it's 1:15am?! it's about time i get some... gaming on the XBOX!

101129
After pregnancy, most women let their body go. After his wife's pregnancy, don let his body go to hell

heineken is a fob's favorite drink

can you PLEASE use more than two fingers when replying on chat?! FRAK!

101130
I have to give thanks to friends, acquaintances, frienemies, and friends-who-just-turned-back-into-strangers for going out of their way to see me... No thanks to you sister tram for working in hong kong! BLEH >(