Wednesday, June 16, 2010
"HE'S BEAUTIFUL" korean dramedy series
a really cute and fun 16-episode series with great leading characters played by PARK SHINHYE and JANG GEUNSUK! shinhye portrays the klutsy "boy" member who's slowly falling for the hot-tempered band leader. she's officially my favorite actress *drool*
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
SKITS - MAY
100502
A. Can u teach me how to cook pho?
Mom. Y?
A. So dat I could cook sum fo my girlfren
Mom. I dunno.. Eversince I cooked fo dat bitch o yours--
A. Which one? Manda o joy?
Mom. They r all bitches to me
100503
Rich. I carry a sign dat says "u can look but u cannot touch!"
A. Fujie has da opposite written on her bag (dat covers her ugly face) "u cannot look but plz touch me!
100504
Rich. Whoa! Do u smell dat? wat is it?
A. Its axe FX. Unless u ratha smell dat *hints bout Kyle* (who jus took a dump)
100505
Rich. Wood u pole dance Anh?
A. Naah.. I don't really care fo stripclubs. They r teases. Y pay fo it whn u can get it fo free?
Rich. Haa. Like dat sayin "y pay fo da milk whn u can get da whole cow?
Carmen. Or "y go fo such a big pig fo a little sausage?
(working)
Raffy. So whn wil I get thoz small fairy shots?
Rich. Oh u ll get m from Bryan. He's bz right now
Raffy. Bz doin wat?
Rich. munchin on his nuts (planters mixd nuts)
100506
Kyle. I dunno wat ur exes look like Anh!
A. really?
Kyle. Yea u only showed me fotos of their bodiz w their heads cropped off!
A. Of course I don't wanna tarnish their image w thoz nude shots! Manda is da one w da boobs. Joys da one w da legs. N tena is da one w da ass!
Carmen. Hahaa! U remember thm by their body parts?!
Kyle. Hahaa!
Carmen. Which body part do they remember u by?
A. ...
Carmen. Haa. No comment?!
Rich. Da greatest inventx has to b da whip cream!
D. Hav u tried fujis whip cream?
A. I can whip sumthin out fo her!
D. Is prostitution not as popular as it used to b?
A. Y? Is your wife getting less work?
100512
(Kyle hiphop dances)
Rich. Do fries come w dat shake?
A. I really think u shood test driv b4 u buy, Rich. I mean.. U don't wanna find out da girl sux in bed once u marry her!
Kyle. Haa yea u do!
A. O wait.. Actually she SHOULD suk in bed! if not. Dats a deal breaker!
D. Hate is a strong word
A. Wat an I supposd to say? "I REALLY don't like her"?
100513
D. Fo da last few times I've seen rich. He's bn wearin a white t-shirt w shorts n flipflops!
A. Yea! Such a contrast from wat he wears at work huh?! He loox lazy--
D. He only loox lazy cuz he's out o shape!
A. Yea. He loox like.. likaah.. a potato!
Joy. Wher u goin?
A. I'm meetin w Tena--i meant.. Pikachina (dons 2 year old boy)!
(pikachina impatiently waits fo Anh at a starbucks. He fumes n throws himself into a fit)
Pikachina. Waah waaah waaaah!
(falls bk onto da ground while spillin his hot kofy onto his shirt! Cam cuts to don in a clown suit)
D. Did dat mak Anh get here any sooner?! Did it... ?! Nooooo
Lang. Oh there's BJ's! No wonder u mentiond it! Its close to Buca!
A. Yea well.. Rich daznt care fo BJ's
Lang. He daznt? Hahaa
A. I do Lang! I do!
if it Daznt involve Disney o a mouse. Rich daznt get excitd about much o anything. If u get a rating o "MEH!" from him. dats da equivalent of 5-stars to a regular person
D. Its such a nice day. Don't u wanna get out n njoy da sun?
A. Wat ru talkin bout? All I c is blinds!
A. come on don! Hop into da shower w me! u better surprise me w ur physique!
D. oh yes! u wil b surprised alright!
A. Rich used to OWN da dance floor! --til his bk gav out! He used to do "the robot". "the sprinkler"... Thn came da "twist"! Which was his 1st n his last
D. Lang is so calm n serene. Its like she jus exists. She's like lady Buddha!
A. Yea she's nice to hav around fo meditatx
100518
Rich. I really lak sleep. I hav raccoon eyes
A. Masturbate at da mos 3x. Thn u can really get sum sleep! Don't over exert urself tho or u ll go blind! U r ambidextrous anyway so u can get it done in half da time.
100519
(over da fone)
A. Uh Bryan?
B. Yea?
A. Where s ur "for bryan" folder?
B. Oh its there
A. No it isn't.
B. Watta hell?
A. Did sumone eat it?
B. I don't kno!
A. Did u hav anythin in there?
B. I had important things in ther! Where's Kyle?
100519
Rich. Anh can u help me?
A. Wat is it boob?
Rich. I need u to research which camcorders r compatibl w adobe premiere
A. How can I research m whn I'm blockd from every site I need to go to?
Rich. Look.. I don't want any excuses. I want results. Get it done!
(reading sum blonde jokes)
Carmen. "y were 2 blondes found frozn to death at da drive-in theater?"
Rich. Dunno. Y?
Carmen. "cuz they went to c 'Closed for the Winter'"! Hahaa!
A. Haa! I love dat one!
Rich. I don't get it. Y is dat funny?
A. It's da SIGN rich! Da SIGN! Do I hav to xplain to u everythin? do u hav a pulse?!
100522
(at a vietnamiz bakery)
D. (to fem worker) May I hav 2 mor o thoz sesame balls?
(manager stops by)
Manager. Y wood u care fo mor whn u already hav 2?
(thn walks away)
D. Cuz I want sum in my mouth alright?!
100524
A. Alright.. Do not invite Alex to Richs bday. Since u tend to misunderstand me. I hav to word it clearly to u! DO NOT INVITE ALEX! Also known as ALEXANDER! I hate dat fucker
(later don is seen bringing Alex to da party)
D. Oh sorry! I thought u meant "Allen"! So I brought Alex
100525
I mean.. come on! we evn use segways! Aren't da japaniz laffin at us? We ARE da fattest nation! "My fello Americans.. we hav hit rock bottom as a nation. Not only r we behind in educatx but we r also behind in health!" Woodnt it be sumtHing if we actually had segways dat curve to sumones huge gut?
100526
D. Fujie daznt use mirrors
A. Yea she wood turn to stone if she did
(as don struggles to cut da pizza. Anh loses patience)
A. Get it done already! I wood smack u! Ur lucky ur not a woman
da only thing good bout disneyland is da exit
A. Let's email Jon dat last slice o pizza
Rich. He daznt chek his emails
Rich. I'm so American dat if any little bird lands on my finger. It ll grow up to b an American bald eagle
Rich has been jogging without skippin a day. He never stretches b4 each run. even w painful aching knees. He wood go as far as runnin on m draggin himself thru da trak til they bleed jus to sho u how tuff he is!
Rich is so American dat he evn has his own nativ American name. Its "chief broken kneecaps"
100527
Rich. Wait Anh.. Lemme weight ur paycheck.. Yea mine is heavier! Haa
A. Funny how rich keeps braggin bout how much mor pay he gets whn I'm da one who lent him money to deposit to his account since he's always broke!
Rich. Can't we all jus get along?
A. Can't we all jus get sum real sleep?
Rich. With whom?
A. Underage girls. Hmm.. N cousins.. without condoms Rich. Haa mayb ur shootin blanx!
A. Dunno but they like it on their faces
Rich. ...
A. Hahaa! Mr AWKWARD!
100531
(payin respec to dons Grandpa at a cemetery)
Fujie. Anh u can sit on dat bench!
A. Oh no thx.. It might b a tomstoon
D. Hahaa! Francois! U managed to screw up dat word u.. frakkin french FOB!
(at Strawberry Cones Pizza restaurant)
Rich. So wat wil u order, douche?
A. Perhaps a Tomstoonaah Peeezaah! Hahaa!
A. since you're ambidextrous, rich, you can give me a handjob and get me there twice as fast! haa!
Rich. if i had to do that for you, i wouldn't be using my hands, i'd be using my little fingers
D. hahaa! sooo wrong!
A. whatta fuck?! well-well-you know what, rich? you know what i have to say to you?
Rich. what?
A. TOUCHAAAYH!
A. Can u teach me how to cook pho?
Mom. Y?
A. So dat I could cook sum fo my girlfren
Mom. I dunno.. Eversince I cooked fo dat bitch o yours--
A. Which one? Manda o joy?
Mom. They r all bitches to me
100503
Rich. I carry a sign dat says "u can look but u cannot touch!"
A. Fujie has da opposite written on her bag (dat covers her ugly face) "u cannot look but plz touch me!
100504
Rich. Whoa! Do u smell dat? wat is it?
A. Its axe FX. Unless u ratha smell dat *hints bout Kyle* (who jus took a dump)
100505
Rich. Wood u pole dance Anh?
A. Naah.. I don't really care fo stripclubs. They r teases. Y pay fo it whn u can get it fo free?
Rich. Haa. Like dat sayin "y pay fo da milk whn u can get da whole cow?
Carmen. Or "y go fo such a big pig fo a little sausage?
(working)
Raffy. So whn wil I get thoz small fairy shots?
Rich. Oh u ll get m from Bryan. He's bz right now
Raffy. Bz doin wat?
Rich. munchin on his nuts (planters mixd nuts)
100506
Kyle. I dunno wat ur exes look like Anh!
A. really?
Kyle. Yea u only showed me fotos of their bodiz w their heads cropped off!
A. Of course I don't wanna tarnish their image w thoz nude shots! Manda is da one w da boobs. Joys da one w da legs. N tena is da one w da ass!
Carmen. Hahaa! U remember thm by their body parts?!
Kyle. Hahaa!
Carmen. Which body part do they remember u by?
A. ...
Carmen. Haa. No comment?!
Rich. Da greatest inventx has to b da whip cream!
D. Hav u tried fujis whip cream?
A. I can whip sumthin out fo her!
D. Is prostitution not as popular as it used to b?
A. Y? Is your wife getting less work?
100512
(Kyle hiphop dances)
Rich. Do fries come w dat shake?
A. I really think u shood test driv b4 u buy, Rich. I mean.. U don't wanna find out da girl sux in bed once u marry her!
Kyle. Haa yea u do!
A. O wait.. Actually she SHOULD suk in bed! if not. Dats a deal breaker!
D. Hate is a strong word
A. Wat an I supposd to say? "I REALLY don't like her"?
100513
D. Fo da last few times I've seen rich. He's bn wearin a white t-shirt w shorts n flipflops!
A. Yea! Such a contrast from wat he wears at work huh?! He loox lazy--
D. He only loox lazy cuz he's out o shape!
A. Yea. He loox like.. likaah.. a potato!
Joy. Wher u goin?
A. I'm meetin w Tena--i meant.. Pikachina (dons 2 year old boy)!
(pikachina impatiently waits fo Anh at a starbucks. He fumes n throws himself into a fit)
Pikachina. Waah waaah waaaah!
(falls bk onto da ground while spillin his hot kofy onto his shirt! Cam cuts to don in a clown suit)
D. Did dat mak Anh get here any sooner?! Did it... ?! Nooooo
Lang. Oh there's BJ's! No wonder u mentiond it! Its close to Buca!
A. Yea well.. Rich daznt care fo BJ's
Lang. He daznt? Hahaa
A. I do Lang! I do!
if it Daznt involve Disney o a mouse. Rich daznt get excitd about much o anything. If u get a rating o "MEH!" from him. dats da equivalent of 5-stars to a regular person
D. Its such a nice day. Don't u wanna get out n njoy da sun?
A. Wat ru talkin bout? All I c is blinds!
A. come on don! Hop into da shower w me! u better surprise me w ur physique!
D. oh yes! u wil b surprised alright!
A. Rich used to OWN da dance floor! --til his bk gav out! He used to do "the robot". "the sprinkler"... Thn came da "twist"! Which was his 1st n his last
D. Lang is so calm n serene. Its like she jus exists. She's like lady Buddha!
A. Yea she's nice to hav around fo meditatx
100518
Rich. I really lak sleep. I hav raccoon eyes
A. Masturbate at da mos 3x. Thn u can really get sum sleep! Don't over exert urself tho or u ll go blind! U r ambidextrous anyway so u can get it done in half da time.
100519
(over da fone)
A. Uh Bryan?
B. Yea?
A. Where s ur "for bryan" folder?
B. Oh its there
A. No it isn't.
B. Watta hell?
A. Did sumone eat it?
B. I don't kno!
A. Did u hav anythin in there?
B. I had important things in ther! Where's Kyle?
100519
Rich. Anh can u help me?
A. Wat is it boob?
Rich. I need u to research which camcorders r compatibl w adobe premiere
A. How can I research m whn I'm blockd from every site I need to go to?
Rich. Look.. I don't want any excuses. I want results. Get it done!
(reading sum blonde jokes)
Carmen. "y were 2 blondes found frozn to death at da drive-in theater?"
Rich. Dunno. Y?
Carmen. "cuz they went to c 'Closed for the Winter'"! Hahaa!
A. Haa! I love dat one!
Rich. I don't get it. Y is dat funny?
A. It's da SIGN rich! Da SIGN! Do I hav to xplain to u everythin? do u hav a pulse?!
100522
(at a vietnamiz bakery)
D. (to fem worker) May I hav 2 mor o thoz sesame balls?
(manager stops by)
Manager. Y wood u care fo mor whn u already hav 2?
(thn walks away)
D. Cuz I want sum in my mouth alright?!
100524
A. Alright.. Do not invite Alex to Richs bday. Since u tend to misunderstand me. I hav to word it clearly to u! DO NOT INVITE ALEX! Also known as ALEXANDER! I hate dat fucker
(later don is seen bringing Alex to da party)
D. Oh sorry! I thought u meant "Allen"! So I brought Alex
100525
I mean.. come on! we evn use segways! Aren't da japaniz laffin at us? We ARE da fattest nation! "My fello Americans.. we hav hit rock bottom as a nation. Not only r we behind in educatx but we r also behind in health!" Woodnt it be sumtHing if we actually had segways dat curve to sumones huge gut?
100526
D. Fujie daznt use mirrors
A. Yea she wood turn to stone if she did
(as don struggles to cut da pizza. Anh loses patience)
A. Get it done already! I wood smack u! Ur lucky ur not a woman
da only thing good bout disneyland is da exit
A. Let's email Jon dat last slice o pizza
Rich. He daznt chek his emails
Rich. I'm so American dat if any little bird lands on my finger. It ll grow up to b an American bald eagle
Rich has been jogging without skippin a day. He never stretches b4 each run. even w painful aching knees. He wood go as far as runnin on m draggin himself thru da trak til they bleed jus to sho u how tuff he is!
Rich is so American dat he evn has his own nativ American name. Its "chief broken kneecaps"
100527
Rich. Wait Anh.. Lemme weight ur paycheck.. Yea mine is heavier! Haa
A. Funny how rich keeps braggin bout how much mor pay he gets whn I'm da one who lent him money to deposit to his account since he's always broke!
Rich. Can't we all jus get along?
A. Can't we all jus get sum real sleep?
Rich. With whom?
A. Underage girls. Hmm.. N cousins.. without condoms Rich. Haa mayb ur shootin blanx!
A. Dunno but they like it on their faces
Rich. ...
A. Hahaa! Mr AWKWARD!
100531
(payin respec to dons Grandpa at a cemetery)
Fujie. Anh u can sit on dat bench!
A. Oh no thx.. It might b a tomstoon
D. Hahaa! Francois! U managed to screw up dat word u.. frakkin french FOB!
(at Strawberry Cones Pizza restaurant)
Rich. So wat wil u order, douche?
A. Perhaps a Tomstoonaah Peeezaah! Hahaa!
A. since you're ambidextrous, rich, you can give me a handjob and get me there twice as fast! haa!
Rich. if i had to do that for you, i wouldn't be using my hands, i'd be using my little fingers
D. hahaa! sooo wrong!
A. whatta fuck?! well-well-you know what, rich? you know what i have to say to you?
Rich. what?
A. TOUCHAAAYH!
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